my take on human spamtenna au
* Spamton is an honest car salesmen at first, but after minimal success/not meeting profit he turns to being a little bit more shady, which while better, still isnt making great business
* Snap crackle pop “great benefactor” comes along and introduces the ever so lovely cocaine
* So from that point on part of his business/word of mouth reviews as well as the benefactors influence—all of the junkies/distributors know that they can trust good ol Big Shot Autos to be discrete with business dealings..and hey if you buy a car with your nose candy he throws in a little extra for you
* This obviously goes well. Tenna and him meet up somewhere along the way at a drinking party/business exchange/networking conference of some kind, hit it off, tenna makes a deal to put him on the local news station, even more exposure, better business, all is well.
* All is so well in fact tenna decides to test out an as segment that reads more as a skit so it doesn’t decrease viewership, but also makes some incremental dough for the two fools
* Frickin goes off and is super successful (actual success? Benefactor ringing in a favor? You decide.) ad segments become a regular part of the game shows
* It’s great and golden for a while, fuckin blackberrys or iPod shuffles get introduced or something so it makes things a little tighter on the show but nothing insane—maybe some increased stress.
* But of course. Benefactor starts calling in. Spam responds—he wants Spamton to take on bigger supply—bigger projects, larger distributions—which he tries to fulfill at the cost of his fuckin entire work/life balance
* It starts getting to a point where he’s debating telling tenna because he can’t keep up—mental gymnastics of him maybe getting it—even wanting to help him out just so he can keep his head above water.
* He decides to take tenna to the base of operations—which was previously where he kept his supply, telling tenna he had to show him something BIG
* Opens door, dramatic pause—warehouse/car garage where coke setup was is CLEARED OUT EMPTY.
* cue spam freaking out and leaving.
* Tenna never hears from Spamton himself again, his last form of correspondence comes in a notification from the gov in the mail letting him know Spam signed guardianship of pipis baby over to him.
* (At this point I’m of the opinion spamtenna is engaged/already married. Idk maybe I’ll make a whole different post of how their relationship goes down/functions imo later)
* Spamton talks to benefactor over the phone a final time, in which he is reminded of his stipulations at the start of their ‘agreement’ that everything be kept strictly confidential. Obviously he fucked that up so he’s cooked.
* Everyone who worked for Spamton was on benefactors payroll, so business related mortgage/expenses stop getting paid, Big shot autos goes under. Building condemned—Spam just kinda goes back to hunker down and live there.
* With the last bit of shipment the benefactor managed to miss he ends up dipping into the supply—something he swore he’d never do when he first started selling.
* Trash era is basically just him on the streets doing hella coke. Washes him out, makes him lose a bunch of weight, hair loss, fucked teeth—it’s no wonder Tenna doesn’t recognize the mf.
Anyways that’s kinda as far as I thought it out but I just thought it would be funny to reduce gaster to omnipotent cocaine supplier
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