» spn agere week: day 2, little and their caregiver go on a long car drive - jan 30th
» for @spnagereweek event || on my ao3 | 1.7k+ wrd count
» little!sam & caregiver!dean
» warnings: pre canon, hurt/comfort, swearing
“It’s so cool Dean, c’mon admit it!” Sam swivels in his seat of the mini van Dean’s driving. They rented it for a bit while the Impala is in the shop, much to Dean’s dismay, and John’s out on a hunt a few states over so the trucks gone too.
“Okay you’re right, it’s kind of cool. Not as cool as Baby though.” Dean caves and smiles when Sam beams with a mutter about him being right like always. He sounds so happy, it’s a little strange for Dean if he’s honest, ever since Sam hit age sixteen he’s been a ball of angst and anger, but not today.
He’s acting like he would when he was younger- still in his fleece pajama pants because no matter what Dean said he wouldn’t change, giggling at Dean’s cheesy jokes, sitting cross legged in his seat, flipping through the cds that the car rental place left like they’re the most interesting thing in the world, pointing out different colored houses or animals they see as they drive- it’s like he’s eleven again. Dean has no idea why or what’s even going on but he likes seeing Sammy happy so he won’t bring it up.
“Hey they have Metallica!” The cd gets pulled out of the plastic sleeve in seconds and Sam leans to slide it into the radio.
“You don’t wanna listen to something else?” The look he gets in response is somewhere along the line of ‘why in the world would you ask that’ and ‘how dare you offend me like that’ which makes Dean snort. Usually Sam’s complaining left and right about only being able to listen to the tapes Dean and John have stockpiled in the Impala and truck.
“Can’t believe you just said that, who are you and what have you done with my big brother?” Sam teases and blushes with a laugh when Dean pushing his hand at the top of Sam’s head.
“Haha, okay smart guy what do you want for lunch?” Please don’t say salad, please don’t say salad. One more salad this week and Dean may lose his mind.
“Slushies!” Dean blinks once, twice, pulls up to a red light and turns to see if his brother is being serious. He is.
“Sammy that’s not lunch.” A frankly pitiful pout forms on Sam’s lips in seconds, big eyes blinking at Dean like he just told him his dog died.
“We can get them but we need real food too.” That thankfully seems to fix the issue as Dean knows from years of raising Sam that the expression he just had would eventually turn to tears if he’s not careful.
“Can we get mac and cheese?” God he really is like a little kid again. Something sour appears in the back of Dean’s throat, partly worried his brother might’ve gotten cursed or something, but more so concerned that something might’ve triggered this. They’ve been nonstop hunting for a while now and Sam’s even had to skip school which Dean knows he hates. Maybe the drastic change in routine has been messing with him more than he says? Maybe the horror of what they see is finally setting in and this is Sam’s way of getting away from it?
“Course bud.” He smiles and lets his hand rest in Sam’s hair when he pushes into Dean’s touch. He was reaching to ruffle his brother’s hair like when they were younger but Sam’s almost laid across the center of the van to stay touching Dean.
“Thanks De’.” And fuck- that nickname strikes something deep in Dean’s chest.
It’s been years since Sam’s used it, he was still shorter than Dean back then, still got excited when John would come home, still asked Dean a million lore questions he was too young to be asking, still wanted to sleep in Dean’s bed with excuses of it being cold but in reality the monsters outside scared him and he needed his big brother to protect him. He was so innocent back then, short years ago that feels like a lifetime.
-
“The drive through is too long so I’m just going to go in and grab the food.” Dean says as he pulls into the parking lot of the Wendy’s restaurant- it’s the only fast food place Dean knows has mac and cheese and isn’t a two hour drive outside of where they’re going.
“Wait you’re leaving?” A hand quickly wraps around Dean’s forearm before he can turn to climb out of the van. His brow furrows when he sees how upset Sam looks, bordering on looking- scared? What the hells he scared of? He was smiling five seconds ago, humming along to the radio louder than normal and bouncing in his seat a bit like he used to.
“Just to get some food, I’ll be back fifteen minutes tops.” None of it soothes Sam.
“You wanna come with me?” He gets a nod, though it’s hesitant.
Almost the second they step into the restaurant Sam’s hand reaches to grip Dean’s tight like a vice. He’s glued to his brothers side and would be hidden behind Dean’s frame if not for the added height Sam has, height he’s trying to hide in this moment as he shrinks down and curls up against Dean. It’s breaking Dean’s heart a little- there’s maybe five people in the restaurant and yet Sam seems terrified.
“You okay Sammy?” The few people in the place are eyeing them more obviously than appreciated- Dean isn’t sure if it’s the pajamas with the Iron Maiden shirt and converse Sam’s in, the way he’s tucked into Dean’s side, or just the fact that they look out of place in this small town in the middle of nowhere Maine.
“Mm.” Well that’s not good. Sam always got quiet when he was upset as a kid, only giving a hum or nod to questions asked, not caring if John had been pleading with him for an hour to talk or if Dean promised a trip to the movies to see whatever Sam wanted or even if Bobby gave him free range over his entire library. The kids a master at the silent game.
“What can I get for you two?” The voice of the woman behind the register startles Dean which in turn startles Sam twice as bad, he clings his free hand to the loose material of Dean’s t-shirt and stuffs his face into Dean’s shoulder.
All Dean can do is relay their order back to the woman- pointedly ignoring her concerned looks at Sam- and wrap an arm around Sam’s shoulders so he has an easier time tucking himself as small as he can into Dean’s chest. The food takes no time at all to be done and Dean gets Sam ushered out of there as quick as humanly possible without someone thinking he’s kidnapping him. The sigh of relief both boys let out once in the van again makes Dean feel uneasy- they shouldn’t be sighing like this over ordering fast food.
“You wanna go get those slushies now Sammy?” He reaches to place his hand in Sam’s hair again, rubbing his thumb at his brother’s forehead and watching with a slightly furrowed brow as Sam’s eyes flutter shut before back open again. It’s only one pm, they left at seven this morning which isn’t all that early on Winchester time, but maybe Sam’s been acting weird because he’s tired?
“Or maybe stop at a motel and sleep?” The plan was to drive for at least another eight or so hours before stopping to sleep, but the last thing Dean wants is for whatever’s going on with Sam to get worse. He could be feeling sick, it is freezing out and it’s not like they’re exactly up to date with their flu shots.
“Thought we had to meet dad?” Sam asks with a clumsy rub of his eyes that makes Dean give a faint smile. He’s the same little kid he’s always been.
“We’d have to drive back here for Baby anyways, we’re just saving a trip.” Assuming the Impala will be done by tomorrow morning when they go to leave again, Dean can hope, and hope that John doesn’t ask too many details on why Dean and Sam won’t be meeting him as early as they said they would. The hunt he’s on seems pretty nasty so Dean doubts he’ll be paying much to mind to what day the boys get there.
“M’kay.”
It takes all of twenty minutes for Dean to find and book a room at the nearest motel- years of hunting for them in the pitch black makes them pretty easy to spot in the daytime. Sam stays in the car as Dean gets the key and pays for the room- though Dean can feel how hard Sam’s staring at him through the window, he swears the nervous energy radiates far enough that it makes Dean’s spine shiver.
“You okay bud?” Dean says with half a laugh when Sam collapses onto his bed and instantly curls his arms around Dean’s middle with his head on Dean’s chest. There’s an empty queen bed two feet away- it was the same price as getting a single so he figured Sam would appreciate the bed to himself. Apparently he was wrong.
“You’re not goin’ anywhere right?” His face falls hearing Sam’s voice come out so small, nearly whispering as he tightens his hold around Dean.
“Course not. I’m always right here Sammy.” That’s all it takes for Sam to let his eyes slip shut.
Dean can’t even think about going to sleep- too overwhelmed with worry- so he does what he did when Sam was little and starts to rub his hand up and down Sam’s back, counting the breaths he takes with each stroke of his fingers against Sam’s spine. He really hopes Sam’s acting a little more normal when he wakes up but just incase Dean makes a plan for if he’s not, going over the basic steps he used to do to make sure Sam stayed happy when he was a little kid, reminding himself of the habits Sam hasn’t shown in years but may revert back to. If Sam needs him to take care of him like he used to then Dean is going to make sure he does it right.
