smol bean @baby-rosebuds - Tumblr Blog

the weekend was actually great and lovely?? movie night on friday & saturday, lots of biscuit boy cuddles, attaching a patch to my jacket, a readathon turned #booklrsleepover with @selkiestudies and ice cream with a friend were all great! for the first time in 2 months i actually feel recharged instead of a weird post- & pre-event stress. wild

august days of productivity, day 3

work [in progress]

wilson's vet appointment

knee & ankle exercises (pls)

bedtime routine

currently reading: heavenly tyrant - xiran jay zhao

playing in my ear rn: dashboard - noah kahan

birdplushie

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

what-even-is-thiss

“Your pets only love you because you feed them”

Yeah well that’s also how your relationship with your parents starts out but more stuff happens after that doesn’t it

morganathewitch

Vårtecken, Nävekvarn Sweden.

I confided in you when I was at my lowest. You used it against me, used it to control me. When I had a problem, you tried to undermine my pain by talking about yourself. I shouldn’t feel that way because you were going through x, y, and z, as if my pain wasn’t valid. You had gone through many hardships too and I did everything I could to be there for you every single time. I always asked what it was that you needed: advice or a listening ear. If you were in the wrong, I was honest with you in a respectful way, the way a friend should. But you… Even when I just wanted a listening ear, you gave unsolicited advice. You pushed me to do things without knowing my family and my history with them. Even when I tried to explain that I couldn’t do what you told me to do, you made me feel like I was weak for not doing it. At times you’d agree with what I said or you’d input your own opinions and then go back on what you said and make me feel like I was dumb and like I misunderstood you.

You picked fights with everyone, even me and then played victim. Over the years, I didn’t fight back because I always avoided confrontation. I didn’t want to cause any problems between us. But the day came when I didn’t shrink and spoke back on the truth and what I experienced and you got defensive. You got upset. You went to MY boyfriend’s best friend to try to talk about me without knowing that he would come to me and tell me what you’d said. Without knowing that he’d call you out on your behavior too. Now you no longer speak to either of us.

I accepted everything you said about me changing even if I couldn’t fully understand it. I accepted my faults, accepted that I changed, apologized, and tried to make it better. What you felt was valid, but you didn’t hear my side. I had a huge shift in my life and my priorities shifted immensely, but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to hear it because you only wanted what you wanted. It didn’t matter what I did or had to say. Even when I tried my best to see you, be there for you, or get you things you wanted, it wasn’t enough. You never had time for me. You always just expected me to accommodate for you and I did. But it wasn’t enough for you. I still wasn’t doing enough for you.

But in the end, I am grateful for you. You taught me that I had been enduring that type of treatment for so long from so many people around me. You taught me that I can speak up and live my life as who I am and who I want to be. So while you SUCK, thank you for giving me my freedom.