[babymilkdud]

Baby 🥰🤱🏿

[babymilkdud]

We've had our girl Flower (Lil B suggested her name 🤣) for about a month now. She's the sweetest. Still a puppy so she's wild wild but she's perfect with the kids. Ellie is in love with her & Flower feels the same 🥰

[babymilkdud]

Daisy has been asking for a Corgi, daily. Imagine my surprise when I researched local Corgis and this baby popped up. Her name is Daisy. Funny enough I have worried quite a few times if I gave my child a name most people use for a pet. I did! Though my cousin is married to a Daisy. Maybe I should have taken my sister's suggestion of Chrysanthemum 😁

[babymilkdud]

We lost lucky over a month ago. I didn't post about it here. He deteriorated over a few months and eventually stopped eating and couldn't hold himself up anymore. Billy took him to the veterinarian and we got him cremated. He's happy and pain free now. I miss him. These photos are of his first and last day with us. The girls are asking for another dog. My heart needs one but I've been feeling like maybe I just have bad luck. Our last dog was killed by our neighbor's dog while I watched. What gives? I'd like to spend more than 2 or 3 years with a dog.

[babymilkdud]

We put these up and knocked them over a thousand times and named the colors. She only memorized "pink" and her little voice is so dang cute, but when she says yellow I scream inside 🥰 she'd knock them down and say "POW! POW! Hiya!"

[babymilkdud]

I feel I'm pretty hard on myself when it comes to being a mom. Being raised by a mom with severe depression/anxiety and a sometimes scary temper has made me hyper-aware of how to talk to my children. I occasionally make mistakes(trying to calmly get 4 kids out of the house in the mornings are where I need the most improving), but my kids aren't scared of me, I apologise and I mean it, I talk to them and tell them I love them and all of the ways they make me happy to be their mom. I encourage them and remind them of ways we can work together. & When they are having a hard time, I sing a song I sang to them all as itty bitty babies. And it works. And I could just cry because I love them so much. That my big girls, at 6 & 8 will lay on my chest or let me cradle them while I sing and they calm down and hug me and kiss me and tell me they love me. I'm just trying to hard to make sure that they don't have to spend their lives recovering from their childhood. I'm so thankful for them, and Billy, and my sisters for not judging me and loving me despite my shortcomings. They are everything to me.

[babymilkdud]

I lost 10 flu pounds so I bit my tongue before asking for Billy to bring candy back from the store. But we've reached a point where we read each other's minds constantly because he brought the candy I was going to ask for anyway. Clearly, it's meant to be and I have to eat it now.

[babymilkdud]

Sometimes I come on Tumblr and there's no option that pops up to post. So then j just don't. But I kept trying today, because I'm so excited.

Billy's sister got engaged to her boyfriend in the Philippines. They were there for a month. Yesterday she invited us out to dinner with my in laws but since we still have lingering coughs, Billy told her we couldn't go/didn't want to spread the sickness.

Anyway, she's pregnant. My baby sense told me this was coming, I had a dream a little over a month ago specifically if her announcing a pregnancy. I had the same reaction I had in my dream. Tears of joy. I have been hoping and praying to be an aunt again. Charlie is nearly 10, so it's been a while. And she is my only niece. I am so so excited. I can't even explain how happy I am.

[babymilkdud]

Sometimes I worry that my mom will drink for the rest of her life 😔 I thought things would get better with time. I love her so much.

[babymilkdud]

My girls 😭 With their Championship rings 💛🖤

[babymilkdud]

I was being a "cheer mom" and wore Daisy's t-shirt they wear over their uniforms during breaks at competition to pep rally on Thursday. I have all of their comp stuff set up but guess what shirt I can't find right now!

[babymilkdud]

I'm 92% sure the employee mixed the wrong paint color that I picked for our bedroom. It was supposed to be a darker, slate color. But instead it's baby blue with a hint of grey undertone. I painted the whole room even though I knew I didn't like it after one wall. Billy said I should just finish because even if I did still hate it after it dried, I should do it so when I paint over it, the color is even. So I'm repainting next weekend. He's putting the wood down in the living room and hallway. They look so nice. It was so depressing looking at stained beige carpets that even the home Depot cleaners couldn't fix completely, they're finally gone. Except in the bedrooms, we haven't decided if we went to put wood down or replace the carpets. I'm leaning towards a nicer high pile carpet because I have some foot pain and I don't want to have to walk on hard floors constantly.

Tomorrow is the last competition of the season for the girls. I've just finished cleaning out the van because it always gets destroyed on comp days so why not start fresh, I'm doing laundry and getting all of their uniform pieces together so we're ready to leave bright and early. We have to be there at 7am but the plus side is that it's not an hour or 2 hr drive to get there. I'm gonna start washing and detangling hair so pray for me. I still have to run to 5 below to get a new bun donut for Daisy, and I'm probably going to the beauty supply to buy Abby a new curly ponytail because hers looks pretty rough after the past 3 competitions.

I'm excited and sad. I'm going to save so much on gas money. I'm gonna fill my tank and it's probably going to last a whole week now. I'm going to miss watching my girls cheer and make friends and just have fun in general. It's so bittersweet. But the break will be nice.

[babymilkdud]

I'm circling this mannequin in target to see if I can get the last pair of Halloween leggings off of it for Abby(they are orange with jack-o'-lantern knees). It's attached to a metal stand. So I walk away to find someone and another couple has the same idea, I hear the mom say "her size" and the dad stayed next to them while mom got someone to come help them. I'm alone or else I'd have had billy do the same. But I basically hovered in the section waiting for an employee to walk by, but not close enough apparently. Why me 😂 I only have one pair in my hand, for Daisy(Black with spider webs, candy corn, etc) & they have all of the other Halloween clothes in their cart for their daughter too, so I'm basically screwed haha

The mannequin is wearing a santa dress now. I'm laughing at how funny and heartbreaking it was watching the employee flipping the mannequin over for them while I watched from afar. I'm pretty sure they knew too, at least dad did, because he kept watching me. So awkward!

I guess neither of them get Halloween leggings today. Tomorrow is no uniform day at school but I will work it out.

[babymilkdud]

My dear husband told me that since the keys fell out of my pocket at the park, never to be seen again, that his mom has mentioned how she "hopes I don't lose the keys" several times. The most was at the girls last game when I went to the car a few times. No matter how many times he said "she's not going to", she still mentioned it. You would think she's the one that had to pay $200 for A KEY FOB TO A 12 YEAR OLD CAR( it was $300, AAA covered the first $100). I can't believe that this is still allowed to cost that much it's nearly 2020, key fobs are old technology and this is a scam and a rip-off, but I digress 😁

She asked him if the keys had her house key on them. First of all, if they did, then what? Whoever found the key would guess which YMCA we are a member of, go there, have them scan the card and then the staff would tell them, a random person who the card belongs to, they would Google us, guess wildly that the key isn't to our house, but his parents, Google his parents, find their address through public records, drive half an hour to their house and steal the random stuff she's kept for the past 20 years? Strong possibility.

[babymilkdud]

Competition days are an all day event and sometimes they're 2 hours away and I have to bring a baggie of Tylenol and I have to pack like I'll be camping for 3 days, but it's so worth it for my girls.

Both their teams took all of the top titles and I'm so proud of the work they all put in and how much they truly love cheer. I'm putting myself on mild vocal rest because I may have screamed obnoxiously loud once or twice and I need to scream for 3 more Sundays.

[babymilkdud]

I am so far past done breastfeeding children & Ellie is still obsessed with the boob. I feel guilty that I am so ready to wean but I have to remind myself that I have been nursing children back to back and mostly overlapping for the past 8+ years. There's no hope for these things once their done making milk. I'll probably have to roll them up like a cartoon tongue to put on a bra. We're not weaning yet, but once Ellie is done, I know the emotions will be hard for me. The finality. But I do want my body back. No more middle of the night, half hour long nursing sessions. But also no more of Ellie climbing in my lap and scooting her booty so she's laying against me. It's one of those 'I can't believe we're not having anymore babies' moments. So bittersweet.

[babymilkdud]

On today's edition of Why Am I Like This: we were getting ready to leave the park when I realized, I didn't have the keys anymore. And I didn't give them back to Billy. I backtracked and searched the entire parknl and parking lot. Hopefully I locked them in the van. But my key fob has a lock button that I generally use to avoid locking them in the car. But maybe I didn't do that this time. That's the best case scenario. Because we have AAA and they can send someone to unlock them. If they're not in the car though, we have to pay to get another one made and my turtle key chain is gone forever. It's been almost 2 hours.

So again, why am I like this?