baby vid-beau

[babyvidbeau]

but how is it that

the fisher-price my little snugabunny cradle 'n swing is the same price as my actual full size crib? 

i cannot believe how much these companies profit off of newborn children and their families. 

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

the fact that breast feeding in public is up for discussion

the fact that the sexualization of breasts has gotten to the point where it gets in the way of it’s sole fucking purpose  

[babyvidbeau]

almost 20 weeks

still getting sick on a regular basis. 

if i'm lucky i get 2-3 days of no sickness, followed by 6-7 days of repeated sickness. 

i cannot take my prenatals. no matter when or how i take them, they cause me to instantly bring them back up. i have been able to keep down folic acid. 

i am very weak- i can feel it. i am sleeping 16 hours through the night and 3-4 more during the day. 

i see my doctor again on thursday. hopefully she'll be able to offer some much needed relief/nutritional supplement. 

i am lactose intolerant. although i tried taking the lactose free ensure, they still have milk protein that my body can't seem to break down. when i force myself to drink them and endure the consequences, i get horrible, horrible cramping. 

i have been drinking poweraid and gatoraide, although those are iffy when it comes to causing more problems, due to their acid content. i am on prescription medication for acid reflux. it provides little, yet much needed relief. i cannot touch orange juice, despite craving the sweetness of it. or apples, despite wanting the crunchiness. or most fruit for that matter, without suffering agonizing pain for hours- if i can keep it down, which i usually can't. 

i have been fantasizing about large, leafy, green salads with grilled chicken. spinach and romaine lettuce with sliced almonds and arugula. this is my body screaming out for iron, calcium, and other much needed vitamins and minerals. tonight i will attempt to eat what i crave. 

i never in my wildest dreams imagined pregnancy would be this taxing on my body. after years of enduring abuse at my own hands....filling this vessel with alcohol and chemicals, vomiting by my own fingers, depriving myself of food....i finally get it. i get why my body is so important. i understand why it needs to be nourished and loved and fed and cared for. i only hope my understanding comes with enough time to change it all around. 

[babyvidbeau]

About You 


Name: Liz Age: 25 (26 in 10 days) Height: 5’8

About The Father 
 Name: Brad Age: 28 Height: 6’3

Are you still together: Yes. Married going on 3 years. 
Are you excited about the baby: Yes, overall. We TTC for a while.

About Your Pregnancy 
 Is this your first pregnancy: Yes 
When did you find out you were pregnant: July, 2013 Was it planned: We had been trying for over a year What was your first reaction: Disbelief Who was with you when you found out: My brother, Xander 
Who was the first person you told: Xander, then Brad, Hah! How did your parents react: Both were happy, supportive but concerned, like any parent usually is.

What was your first symptom: Boobs. They grew and hurt.

Do you know the sex of the baby: Not yet, November 14

How much weight have you gained: Due to former ED, I don't pay attention/haven't been tracking it. My OBGYN has. 


Do you have stretch marks: No.

Have you felt the baby move: Not yet :( Have you heard the heartbeat: Yes!

About the Birth  
Will you keep the baby: Absolutely! 
Home or hospital birth: Hospital. Natural or medicated birth: Medicated. Judge all you want.


Who will be in the delivery room with you: No idea yet. Probably just Brad and our mothers.

Will you breastfeed: That's the plan. Do you think you’ll need a c-section: No idea.  
Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time: I'm counting on it! 
What’s the first thing you might say to him/her: No idea, although it will probably be a slurry, blubbery mess of words Would you let someone videotape the birth: Not the actual birth, but Brad can film my face and anything above the waist.  
Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: To be honest, I am terrified. 

[choosechoice-deactivated2014081]

[lethalgender-deactivated2022111]

Damn son our uterus stretches like 5x the size and then contracts and pushes a 7 pound baby out of a small tube into life if you think that isn’t metal as fuck get out of my face

[pawnr]

YOUR ORGANS THOUGH IM SO SORRY LADIES

[the-savage-avenger-deactivated2]

How the hell do woman survive this?

[downremus-deactivated20180615]

Seriously it surprises me how many people don’t know a couple things about pregnancy and babies:

women would not survive 10 months of pregnancy they would die

A baby is nowhere near as developed as it should be to be out in the world at 9 months, but the human body has not evolved to push anything past the size of the head out, everything else the baby is can stretch and squash but the head

the vagina can’t handle anything bigger than the head at 9 months of development so we have to give birth. 

But babies actually need longer than that, really, it’s why they’re such a mess when they’re born and why they’re completely dependent on care, can’t walk, can’t do anything.  Note most other animals can when they are born.  Babies are born too early, it’s kind of a huge and secret flaw in human evolution.  I found it really interesting, so thought I’d share.

[babyvidbeau]

baby

is doing well.

doctor said my thalassemia numbers smacked her in the face, they were so prominent. 

she said i am high risk for thyroid disorder either during or following pregnancy- wonderful. my younger brother has an overactive thyroid and is on meds. my older sister has underactive thyroid and is on meds. guess it was bound to happen eventually. 

we are waiting on a specialist psychiatrist who deals with pregnant patients who struggle with mood disorders. my emotional state has been declining rapidly. hopefully this doctor will contact me soon so i can get some support. 

[babyvidbeau]

Week 14

I have been vomiting pretty much daily since early last week. TMI- projectile vomiting. It happens after I eat certain things (these things vary, I have not yet found a common element- thus far it's been right after: chicken wrap, cereal, chicken sandwich with tomato sauce, toast, bbq chicken, chicken and potatoes and crackers)....chicken is always well done, white breast- i'm lactose intolerant so my wraps/sandwiches don't have cheese or sour cream or sauces or anything....it can't be chicken because I have chicken pretty much daily (I don't eat red meat) and only throw it up on random occasions. 

I've tried eating smaller portions throughout the day....I don't know what sets it off. It happens the same way every time. All of a sudden I get this feeling behind my bellybutton and I become very uncomfortable and then BAM, I have to take off to the washroom where I turn into the exorcist. I usually feel fine after- minus a bit shaky....

What gives?! Is it baby Star Wars trying to send me a food message?! "MOM, do not like!"? 

[babyvidbeau]

I keep

involuntarily bringing up my dinner. 

violently and painfully. all of a sudden i just erupt. 

wtf.

[babyvidbeau]

bought baby star wars' crib yesterday from future shop (of all places!). it is a $659.99 crib that was on super sale- we got it for $200, including shipping. it converts into a toddler bed and a day bed with an additional attachment. not too shabby. these are the kinds of deals i love. 

other than this crib, we've only purchased diapers (when on clearance- im talking 150 diaper packs for $15), wipes and one bobba fett baby shirt. 

we're skipping all the unnecessary, fancy crap that a lot of people buy. i've been doing research on essential vs. frivolous newborn items and we're really going to make this work on a tight budget. 

thus far, i think we're doing damn good! 

[babyvidbeau]

ugh

taking my prenatal is always anxiety producing because half the time it makes me spill my insides into the toilet bowl- like this morning. 

does anyone else have a similar problem?? even on a full stomach it's a 50/50 chance i'll get sick. 

[babyvidbeau]

baby star wars at 12 weeks :D

[babyvidbeau]

is it strange to say

that i feel like i'm having a girl? 

can one even feel that? 

is that a "feeling"?? 

weird. 

[babyvidbeau]

Ok, what about

Lysander....or Gabriel? 

Brad liked Oliver, but it doesn't sound right with his last name...

Oliver Beaulieu? It almost rhymes...sounds awkward. I told him Oliver would work best with an Irish last name- Oliver O'Connor or Oliver McPherson or something...

I don't think he'll go for Lysander, because my brother's name is Alexander and we call him Xander- but Gabriel is nice- again, a little awkward with the last name- DAMN you french last names! complicate everything.

I was looking at french first names, but then our kid would sound so incredibly french and neither brad nor myself (or anyone in our immediate family) speaks french and I feel like we'd be duping everyone into thinking we're something we're not. 

To be honest, this is all steve's fault (brad's older brother). He had his son first and stole the name we were going to use (it was a full out robbery)- Lucas- well we were probably going to stick with Luc, but still. 

We have our female name- Sophia Isabelle Beaulieu- we also like the name Madeline, but Sophia Isabelle works beautifully. 

[babyvidbeau]

nooo

brad does not like the name ezra. back to square one.

see, the problem is, i got animals before i got pregnant and i gave them the awesome names. 

sometimes i think...i couuuld- then i interject- no liz, no you will not name your child after your cat. 

[babyvidbeau]

I really like the name

Ezra, for a boy. 

And Oliver. But I don't think Brad would go for Oliver. 

[babyvidbeau]

tonight

on the bus home there were 3 obnoxiously drunk 14 year old girls, wearing tights and tube tops, going to earl bales park to meet a bunch of guys (their conversation was stupidly loud). one of them attempted to do a chin up on the bus, while it was full of people...

all i kept thinking as i observed them and remembered how i was exactly like them at their age, and how fucked being a teenage girl can be, was...

baby star wars, please be a boy. 

[babyvidbeau]

so my older brother

has been dating this super sweet, super chill girl for a few years now. 

she is huge into homeopath, natural, organic, etc. etc. everything. they both take a million herbal supplements a day, etc. etc. 

i think it is great, i have no qualms about what they do- good. 

i told my brother a few days ago that i am expecting and ever since i've been getting really intense, scary texts, such as: "don't drink tap water, only filtered water please, due to chlorine contents", "get rid of all unnatural scents to avoid autism", "consider not getting any ultrasounds to avoid autism", etc. etc. 

like, i know without a doubt that all those messages are filled with the utmost amount of love and concern for myself and my unborn star wars, but....

i'm not going to live in a plastic bubble for nine months and survive off of organic kale and caviar fed chicken breast. i am a 25 year old educated woman. i have not done drugs in YEARS, i got off of all my antidepressants and adhd medication prior to conceiving, i stopped drinking caffeine, i don't eat red meat and haven't for years, i don't eat dairy and haven't for years, i stopped really drinking years ago, i am taking a daily prenatal vitamin, avoiding cat litter and cleaning products, and think i am doing a pretty good job taking care of myself thus far. 

it's like the whole epidural thing- when i hear women boast "well i would NEVER get an epidural, that is so unnatural, I AM having a beautiful, NATURAL water birth, then breast feeding until my child is 7, not getting them circumcised and using cloth diapers until they are ready to use the toilet"....like, ok, good for you. wonderful for a slew of reasons. but don't judge other women for what they decide is right for them.

some women use epidurals- they are not less of a woman or a worse mother because of that. they are who they are. back the fuck off.

some women select obgyns over midwives- they are not less natural or less spiritual or whatever. they are who they are. back the fuck off.

some women decide not to breastfeed- they are not vain or awful or less loving. they are who they are. back the fuck off.

some women decide to have their child circumcised- they are not malicious, cruel or twisted. they are who they are. back the fuck off. 

some women use disposable diapers- that does not mean that they care less about their child or they are selfish for not wanting to wash shit off of cloths or whatever. they are who they are. back the fuck off.

unless you have been specifically asked for your input, advice or opinion- just keep it to yourself.  

my sister in law smoked cigarettes during her pregnancy. did i approve of it? no. did it make me angry? yes. did i say anything? no, i fucking didn't- why? because she is an adult who i'm sure was aware of the consequences of her decisions, who had a boyfriend who was aware of the situation, and who was doing what she wanted to do with her body, her child and her life. who the fuck am i to lecture another adult on what they ought to do and not do? what gives me such authority? such entitlement? nothing. 

this is one of the main reasons why i don't really talk about what i plan on doing or how i plan on proceeding with a lot of the aforementioned. it is no one's business other than mine and my husbands. it is up to us to educate ourselves on what is out there, consider pros and cons of every decision, seek advice from those we trust,and make informed decisions based on what works best for us and what we believe will be best for our child.