professional ghost

She/her | 25 | French, queer and anxious | translator (well I should be, but I'm currently stuck in fast food hell) | fanfiction writer | I have one(1) white hair on my head which means I'm wiser than you. Didn't meant to become a steddie blog but here I am

[piranha-assexual]

Ilya: You North Americans are fucking dumb

Shane: ...why?

Ilya: People keep saying "Ily". My name is Ilya, it's not that hard.

Shane: who is saying this to you

Ilya:

Shane: No, seriously, who is saying this to you

[lavenderprose]

Ilya, every time before they leave the house for the airport without fail, will sit himself on the couch and pat the cushion next to him and say, "Shane, come sit."

And Shane will groan and sigh because they're running late (Takeoff is in three hours) and he'll sometimes even say Baby please can we skip it this one time but Ilya just sternly pats the cushion until Shane finally sits.

Then Ilya takes his hand and they just sit. In silence. For like five minutes. Occasionally Ilya will say, "Did you pack toothpaste" and Shane will say, "Yes, of course," and Ilya will say, "How many pairs of your contact lenses did you pack" and Shane will sigh because he can't remember and then he gets up to rifle through the toiletry bag and when he returns to the couch the sitting continues.

Then eventually Ilya will FINALLY brush a kiss over Shane's knuckles and break quorum and say, "Come on, Hollander, we're running late," and Shane will groan and pinch him as he follows.

[medrawawi]

same picture years later

i decided to use some of ilya's book design in the youngest baby, so she's very very tall, has brown hair, and she plays hockey too:) (all of them are tall like their dads!)

[json-derulo]

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

[vividcorvid]

Ilya playing in the water is very important to me

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[podcastwizard]

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

[ilyannarozanova]

The first time Ilya and Shane wrestle I think Ilya is SO confident because he has simply forgotten that he can only throw Shane around and pick him up because Shane lets him. He goes into it all cocky and smug and Shane immediately bodies him so hard he blacks out. Reality check of all time. 100% fatality rate no survivors. When Ilya comes to Shane is desperately googling what to do if you wrestle your boyfriend so hard he faints. Ilya is so pleased it's criminal. A core memory for everyone involved

[ilya-sweetheart]

married shane who now feels confident enough to say no to things

“honey, reebok wants to renew the contract—”

“i fucking hate their shoes, i’d rather walk barefoot”

“oh…”

- - -

“hey are you free to join me and the kids to the carnival this friday?”

“no i wanna stay in bed all day with my husband, there’s a new season of house hunters”

“right…i’ll ask JJ then”

- - -

“feel free to say no, but could you—”

“no”

“i didn’t even say what it was”

“unless it’s ’spend the day with your husband’ my answer is no”

[grabmybush]

‘shane’s the mum because he takes it up the ass-‘ as if ilya isn’t the most team mum to ever mother and as if shane doesnt have a toolbelt he brings out every time his husband wants to put up a picture

[thekidsfromyestergay]

Tumblr 2015: omsqueeeeee *ovaries exploding*

Tumblr 2025: OUGHHH MY PENITS EXPLODED

[ashbelero]

On account of the gender transition

[transhuman-priestess]

On account of the gender transition

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

i got a fucking. advertisement on youtube. from google ai. saying. without sarcasm and with complete sincerity. "if shakespeare is too hard for you, you can always have our ai explain it to you." im gonna throw up. im gonna throw a molotov cocktail. if i see that ad again im reporting it for hate speech. how fucking dare you. i will kill you with my bare hands. with my exit pursued by a bear hands. i will tear google headquarters down brick by brick. im going to start biting people.

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya looking thee Yuna Hollander dead in the eyes and saying "yeah I'd leave Boston for your son" while wearing his Raiders t-shirt is so iconic. Who is doing it like him

[summerhalder]

i think ilya should be licking champagne and doing bodyshots off shane after their first cup win together

[urie]

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those

[janerozanova]

Ilya draped across the cottage couch, hair still damp from the lake, mouth slightly open, legs half up, half down. The summer breeze kissed his skin in the most peaceful way possible. The sun was no longer visible, and the only thing he could hear was Shane moving around in the kitchen, making them sandwiches after swimming.

And then, all of a sudden, there was a freckled angel waking him up by kissing every inch of his face.

Forehead? Mwah.

Between his eyebrows? Mwah.

His temple? Mwah.

His cheek? Mwah.

His nose bridge? Mwah.

His mole? Mwah.

Ilya smiled brightly with his eyes still closed. “You missed a spot.” Shane chuckled. “Mmm.”

He kissed Ilya’s nose.

Ilya tsked in disagreement. Shane laughed.

He kissed Ilya’s jaw.

Ilya groaned, God’s brightest smile still plastered across his face. Shane couldn’t have that. He couldn’t not kiss him even more. So he crashed their lips together. Ilya hummed happily against his mouth before opening his eyes. “Very good, mylysh.” He immediately kissed him again to hide his now furiously blushing face. Ilya was losing his mind.

Oh my God. I can’t believe this is my life now. God.Oh my God.Oh my God.Oh my God.

[morganbritton132]

Modern AU where Eddie rides a little viral moment into a music career, becomes one of the biggest acts in music...and now he's being trolled online.

There is a guy across social media platforms who comments under everything Eddie posts with a little 'Eddie Munson Fun Fact.'

It's very annoying because these facts range between mundane to embarrassing, and they're all true. This is clearly someone who is from Hawkins and went to school with him but Eddie has no idea who it could be.

Their profile picture is a poorly made ice cream cone and all their non-Eddie related posts are about StarCourt Mall conspiracies.

He'll post a little thank you to the fans or give updates on show dates, and without fail, Ice Cream Guy is there like, Fun Fact: Eddie Munson is a three time senior.

Fun Fact: Eddie Munson fell off a cafeteria table into a trash can once.

Fun Fact: Eddie Munson is a String. Cheese. Hater.

This guy is trying to get him canceled by Big Cheese.

Eddie's label hates him but his fans like him so Eddie kinda just deals with it because the engagement is good.

And then Eddie comes out.

He lets the whole world know he likes men and Ice Cream Guy is the first to comment under the post like, Fun Fact: I knew it.

Followed by: Fun Fact: Eddie Munson has a crush on me.

Eddie comments back: Prove it

Ice Cream Guy replies: Fun Fact: Ask me on a date first, freak

Eddie replies: How would I know it's you if I don't know who you are??

Ice Cream Guy says: You'll know.

Eddie's fan eat this up. They start bringing ice cream to his shows. They start making ice cream themed fan merch. They're drawing NSFW fan art of Eddie with a sentient ice cream cone.

Nothing really comes from this interaction and hype died down until one day, Eddie posts a photo of him and Steve 'The Hair' Harrington with the caption, Fun Fact: He was right.

[batsupernova]

my favorite genre of steddie fic is when Steve is like “i dont know how to function anymore, my brain hurts all the time and i can barely get myself to sleep because I cant stop worrying about everyone else” and Eddie is just like “okay im gonna soft dom you into taking care of yourself now please dont freak out” and robin watches with narrowed eyes from the sidelines while eddie hand feeds steve muffins over breakfast