Bachelorsette

Exploring the social traditions surrounding a wedding but with a very different milestone and from a very different perspective- as a single lady about to receive my masters degree.

[bachelorsette]

I don’t know how many of you have seen Father of the Bride, but in the name of a good blog I (re) watched it the other night. Steve Martin, that snowy-haired charmer, and his wife receive their daughter- who is ridiculously young and returning from a fantastic Italian study abroad trip where she learned to be a star architect- and discover she is engaged.

This is the point where all hell breaks loose. The wedding consumes their lives and Steve Martin has an existential crisis about his little girl growing up and flying the coop. Um, hello, I believe that may have happened when she moved to Italy for an advanced degree... But it’s not REAL real until she identifies as a young woman about to have a wedding.

I don’t mean to subtract from the fictional daughter’s elatement about her wedding. But I mean, it’s mentioned less than a handful of times that she is an accomplished architect and that doesn’t seem to piss her off.

[bachelorsette]

First reactions

Yesterday, I walked into my morning class (well before eight am- not by choice) to a flurry of excitement from friends and classmates enthused by this project. “I always wanted to do something like this!” was the most heard comment. Which makes me wonder, why are women (and men) expected to wait until (if) they reach the designated mile marker of marriage to celebrate themselves? 

Why has social pressure nudged all of us in the traditional direction of planning and PInterest-ing and placing a great emphasis on our wedding day?

In other news, Vistaprint has some awesome prices on save the date magnets and I had to reorder because I ran out. Although something seems sort of asinine about giving everyone a picture of my face to stick to their fridge. What happens when they get tired of looking at me? Are these things recyclable? Either all my friends and family will be guilt tripped into keeping my magnets forever or my face will grace the metal surfaces of waste dumps all over the country. 

[bachelorsette]

Save the dates. Magnetic of course, to keep handy on the fridge. Typically these would be sent far in advance, but I was a bit occupied so they are going out two months ahead of time.  As you can see, they follow the traditional school colors pattern, along with trendy fonts and a photo of me to give it that personal touch.

Tradition + trend + personal touch. Keep repeating that.

[bachelorsette]

The biggest milestone of my life

It’s like a fairy tale. I met the right school, put in a year of hard work, and now am ready to put on that timeless, traditional gown and stand up in front of everyone. My masters degree and I are ready to start our new life. 

Before that happens though, there is a lot to do. There is a very clear formulaic process to preparing to shed the old you and start your new life after reaching the milestone that everyone strives for. First, you commit to one path for the rest of your life (until unemployment do we part, degree). Then, you plan. There are invitations, parties, and identifying which friends get the special titles. Finally, the ceremony. That golden day when all eyes are on you and you prove that you’ve reached that apex of success. 

It’s interesting to me to examine the culture of the wedding expectation and the pressures put on women to have not only the perfect wedding day that truly represents them while still following trend and tradition, but to do so from a different perspective- as a single woman who is planning for a very different milestone 

I’ve decided to celebrate the completion of Master of Social Work degree like a low-budget wedding (accordingly, as $50,000 in student loan debt is not quite as kind a companion as a human life partner).