there will always be a moon over Marin

•24•they/them

[segamascott]

[bowlingalleycarpetmuncher]

@isuggesteatingtherich

Taxes are the compromise.

[isuggesteatingtherich]

taxes were the compromise

[depsidase]

[ravioliet]

they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions

[depsidase]

[triangleguy]

my bad. turns off my perpetual motion dog catapulting machine

[crabussy]

"I'm so lazy for lying down so often" "I'm so greedy for eating such a big meal" MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND!!!! YOUUUU ARE A GIANT OMNIVORE. YOU'RE MEGAFAUNA. DO YOU KNOWWW HOW ENERGY EXPENSIVE IT IS TO KEEP A GIANT OMNIVORE WITH A HUGE BRAIN RUNNING. very!!! very energy expensive!!! eat that burger take that nap. holy moly. you wonderful animal. your species is made for frequent meals and daytime rests and long sleeps. let yourself be a human.

[draconym]

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

[draconym]

[juliusseesaw]

the "i invested it and turned it into $16,000" clip is byfar the funniest bit ive ever seen ever

[ivy-saurs]

randomly remembered this tweet and had to stop myself from bursting out laughing

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes it is fun and easy to go to bed because I make up scenarios in my head. other times it is difficult and not fun, because you see, I am making up scenarios in my head

[depsidase]

[whyenn-reader]

the youtube notification of ''ooohh your video isn't starting up smoothly???? turn off your ad blocker you cunt <3'' is so pathetic to me bc it takes five seconds max. you think i can't wait five seconds? you think i need to give you money because five seconds is too long? i pity your wife.

[depsidase]

[elodieunderglass]

My mother-in-law: now listen children - the birds will go quiet as the eclipse goes on

The eclipse: (goes on)

The birds: (go quiet)

One (1) Woodpigeon, continuously: HOOOO HOOOOO HOO. HU HOOOOO HU

[doccyuk]

(translated from Wood Pigeon): "You see, children, all the other birds have gone quiet as the eclipse goes on..."

[duskdragonxiii]

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

[duskdragonxiii]

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

[quasarkisses]

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

[duskdragonxiii]

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

[queer-as-city-folk]

New experience just dropped on Tiktok

[mikeyfuckinway]

"cozy bookstore" "cozy cafe with a bookshelf" "omg imagine if there was a place you could just sit and read at" we have this its called the library. you guys want to go to the library. the two college libraries near me have cafes inside and they are open to the public. people need to go to the library