Are We Having Fun Here?

“There could not have been a lovelier sight; but there was none to see it except a little boy who was staring in at the window. He had ecstasies innumerable that other children can never know; but he was looking through the window at the one joy from which he must be for ever barred.” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

[backupschmuck]

I think that last anon is absolutely right. Yeah, white people get the most representation in fanfiction but Black people are second . And if you’re biracial. Nobody gives a fuck about you, but we don’t make it everybody else’s problem. You know how hard it is to just pick? When neither feel right? Also, what fucking dumbass on the planet no matter what race you are would think they can’t fucking burn. You’re literally riding the reader to be an idiot. Oh wait, I know what exactly what dumbasses say that let me stop.

If you’re hiding behind anonymity, it’s because you know that what you’re saying is inappropriate. It’s because you’re embarrassed & because you don’t want folks to know that it’s you saying it. If you’re going to speak to people this way, say it with your whole chest. This is cowardly.

I also want to be frank in that this isn’t the only anonymous message I’ve received similar to this. It’s been pretty constant. I was only ever posting drafts of things in my Google Docs that I wrote for myself to enjoy. I shared them because I wanted to make somebody else smile or improve their day for a minute. I was under no false impression that I’m the best writer ever or even remotely good. Still. I can’t be dishonest and say that the messages don’t hurt me. It really, really sucked to wake up this morning. Admittedly, I cried about it. It just isn’t nice to share something you made with not even the world, but just within the community, and then to be ridiculed for it. I feel a little embarrassed posting this at all.

I’m going to pull the fics down for a while I think and the remainder will stay in my drafts.

I just really hope that.whoever the people are who are leaving writers messages like this, you stop and think before you send another one. It’s real people behind these accounts.

[backupschmuck]

Hey Siri, how do I get rid of people who try to hide the fact that there fics are black x reader because they don’t like when people block the tag

Hey Siri, how do I get rid of people who are so enraged by the mere existence of people who appear differently from them that they feel the need to throw a temper tantrum about it in anonymous asks?

On a real level though, my fics aren’t secretly black x reader. I wrote them with the intention of anybody being able to place themselves in the role.

That said, I myself am not black, but my niece and nephew are and they mean the whole entire world to me. They deserve to be represented. They deserve to be talked about. They deserve to take up space. You would never go into somebody’s asks and say this about fics where the reader is represented as white. I am not tolerant of racism, I am not tolerant of micro aggressions. Take that somewhere else. Thanks.

[backupschmuck]

Since when has Little Caesars crazy bread become like…mentally sound & stable bread

It’s giving the ghost of Parmesan’s past

[backupschmuck]

Painfully, more and more, I've been trying to find myself. I've been trying to open up myself... doesn't that come before opening up to others? In searching to discover what is love? I found I didn't know What is existence? I looked so long and hard for the "single violet transplant" but didn't find it. I dreamed of it, but it never appeared--nor will it I'm afraid. I am afraid.

I'm afraid when I open the boxes (of convention and defense), layer by layer, searching for the soul-self-core like a child opening a surprise package large enough to contain a man, finding box after box, each inside the other each carefully wrapped and padded, hermetically sealed and lined with shredded hopes, each smaller than the last... last?...what's last?...perhaps a wasp? (at least that's something)...not a butterfly?...nothing?...nothing I'm afraid...I'm afraid of nothing...I am afraid.

How do I love? With my body of course. Yes!...no? Is that anything but my way of attempting to demonstrate my own existence? Is that only my pinching myself to see if I am awake, as the masochist tries to prove to herself that she (too) can feel. Work, play, art, pain, joy, friends, "loves"...are these only tape wrapped around the face of the "Invisible Woman"? She frightened me...was I afraid for the others...or for her? What will happen if, when I look in the mirror after removing the wraps, I see only a heap of limp rags that had been held in place by their own starch? What then? Death? That would be only spontaneous combustion of the rags; there would be nothing to kill...god! Perhaps I've already looked... and what?... and gotten dressed again...more than once perhaps...when? When I'm afraid? I am afraid.

Stop pondering... I can't. That's what I've been trained to do... for too long.

Run?... Where?... And from what?

Just go on living?

(Am I?)

Who am I?

I am... afraid.

I am afraid... that I'm nothing.

I am afraid of nothing...

I am afraid...

[backupschmuck]

i love your sebastian kydd fics!! can’t wait to read more

Aw thank you! I have one in the works, hoping to get it out sometime this week!

[backupschmuck]

Hi! Are there any other Austin characters you would write for? Or Austin x reader? 🙃

I currently have an Austin x Reader in the works & would definitely consider other characters/requests depending on my familiarity with the show/topic!