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@badigeonneur
“You know, if we really had to do another Splatfest, it should have been something actually interesting.”
“I mean, I didn’t get to take part in Chaos vs Order - or Squid vs Octopus. Clearly that should have been a priority over...condiments.”
“I have never eaten a spider. Are they delicious?”
Tartar no.
“They’re not especially tasty, but they pack a bit of crunch.”
"Cronching sand is disgusting. Cronching spiders is just an extra bit of protein in your day. Send me your peanut butter spiders."
when i was a kid i ate lots of spiders… i don’t have any right now though. just go to a park, you’ll find some!
“Am in a meeting, should I just go and message my interns to go grab me spiders? It won’t be weird at all.”
I could sure go for a big pot of peanut butter with extra spiders right now.
Hot-dog! :D
Hot-dog! :D
“Guys, guys, no need to be fighting, every lifeform in Inkopolis is worth something!”
Octarians are RESOURCEFUL!
Inklings are FRESH!
Jellyfish are POWERFUL!
Humans
AIs are SMART!
Anemones are KIND!
Sur des grands cheveux blancs, en cavale Viennent les vieux tourments, de l'idéal, Pour questionner mon coeur, Le bal, du “Je serais mieux ailleurs?”, La peur, de ne pas pouvoir m'y faire, Trop tard, pour revenir en arrière
—————————————
Nobody Balls were filled with mystery, with mystique; for outsiders, the thrill of not knowing who you end up hanging with could get exciting.
No matter how hard the organization tried, they couldn’t prevent Perry Bellwether from figuring out people’s identities; his passive ability to recognize someone from their smell was extremely useful in situations like this.
If he had to define his own smell, it would be mostly mint, strawberry, petrichor and a faint, very small hint of smoke, an aftermath of his time mostly spent in the streets with a destitute youth.
This last element was way less overpowering than it used to be, but it was part of him, now - it would never truly go away.
Indeed, the Nobody’s idealistic mentality was trying to disorient everyone, but his mind was solidly anchored in reality, thanks to his nose.
———————————————–
Tonight, he was less interested in the food, in the event, and more there to find someone, a task most would define impossible when all are dressed up the same.
But his smell, all freshly mowed lawn, daisy, campfire-roasted marshmallow and wool would betray him; his target was one that would never miss a beat. Perry learned that much last winter, in the dead moments of December, where he noticed that not even unexpected pneumonia could slow them down.
Back then, it was different - he had Avery in his life, he was over them, he didn’t think about anything else; all that mattered was the relationship he had with the Grizzco COO - not the one that he could have had with the weakened Zealot.
If he was so over him, why was he so concerned when he noticed they could barely talk, that their usual energetic voice, the one that once whispered such sweet words into his ear, was barely more than a strangled whisper
Thankfully, by the time spring rolled around, his target’s health was much better; but occasions to confront him didn’t occur - Perry was glad they, but even if they knew better than anyone that his relationship with Avery was slowly sinking, he didn’t take the opportunity to catch up and make things better.
Goodness, he started dreaming about them again - that hadn’t happened in years. The weirdest thing is that he felt comfort about it, remembering all of these moments they had together, back when they were both extremely happy, rather than the nightmares from the last months - before they decided it was better to just ignore each other.
Summer was even busier for his target - they just turned 30 and wanted to make this specific ball something glorious to stealthily commemorate it. While Avery was still around, Perry’s relationship could be summed up by one phone call in the morning, and one whenever Avery had time to answer him, just before he went to bed.
What was the better option, being in a love with one ghost that was haunting his past, or one that was perfectly fine not being really there anymore, just saying I love you as an automatism. Avery knew that it was over, and just spared Perry’s feelings out of loyalty, out of friendship, out of kindness.
————————————–
Now, autumn arrived. It felt weird, but the atmosphere smelled like fallen leaves, unpicked apples that were slowly fermenting on their branchs, with a sidenote of the brisk north wind, sole reminder that winter was coming.
Despite this, one person still had a distant summery odor to them, the feel of burning sunshine and the subtle smell of coconut.
They’re alone. It’s time. Perry gently touched their shoulder, motioning for them to get closer.
“Excuse me, can we talk in private for a moment.”
“Sure…I suppose we can…is something wrong?”
“Nothing wrong. Just, nothing everyone else needs to hear.”
——————————————–
“Go ahead.” they said, as they closed the doors, so that no curious onlooker would bother them.
“Well…to be honest…since the last time we’ve seen each other, you…you’ve been on my mind. And I was wondering if we could…you know, see each other out of here. Nothing serious. Just seeing if…you know.”
Moment of silence - they were pondering, evaluating their options. And then, they nodded, approving.
“As long as there are no strings attached, I don’t mind. But, you know the tradition, don’t you. I can’t just give you the information, you’ll have to Reveal it.”
——————————————–
Everyone that had heard of the Nobody Ball knew about their traditions, their face-concealing uniforms, their solidarity, and their desire to shine the light of justice in a dark world, but to know about the Revelation, you had to go there at least once.
To make a short story, when you’re at the ball, you can’t exactly ask anyone to unmask themselves; an extremely formal ritual had to take place, one known as the Revelation.
Whoever wanted to unmask has to answer one question from their target, something that could get extremely personal.
They had three tries, and if they succeeded, they got the contact information, meaning that they gained enough of their partner’s trust. They won the freedom to talk face to face.
However, if one failed to answer the question, they’d have to wait another three months to try again. There were no second chances, unless the asker didn’t mind switching the polarity, becoming the one that was here to answer.
Again, they only had to answer one question. Only three chances.
There was no preparation, no studying, one would have to answer with what they thought was right.
“Go ahead. What’s your question?”
“What do you think I’m looking for in a partner?”
————————————————-
This question was no factual one, it was a matter of opinion, which made it even more complicated to answer; tastes were subjective. Perry would have to think
“You….you’re looking for someone strong to lean on.”
“Not really. Two tries left.”
“Someone smart to change the world with?”
“That would be a nice bonus, but that’s not what I’m really after.”
Shit, that wasn’t going good at all for Perry - these were the two big things he thought he had going for him and neither of these worked. Either he played it safe with something cliche, or he could…
“My third answer’s gonna be longer. Don’t mind me.”
“But…What you’re truly looking for is someone that would listen to you ramble about the unfairness of the world for twenty minutes - not because you want to debate, but because you want to get it out of your chest, otherwise, you’re going to explode. Someone that will love you for your passion - not shame you.”
“You’re looking for someone that’s going to comfort you in the dead of winter, whenever you’re at your lowest - you never do well when the sunshine is gone, don’t you. You want someone whose eyes are gonna be bright, warm, so that you can forget it’s February and that you hate this goddamn month with every fiber of your being.”
“You want someone that will appreciate your duality, someone that let you be strong in the face of adversity, but will accept the fact you will hide your face in their shoulder to cry when the dogfish dies in a movie. Someone that’s not gonna mind the fact you start chores, but never finish them - that the rooms will always remain half-dusted and the laundry barely done.”
“You’re not looking specifically for someone strong, or someone smart, because you’re far from dumb and weak - you don’t need a bodyguard or a teacher. But, you’re looking for someone that will remind you that you are strong and smart when you’re not feeling so good, when the task at hand feels so huge. Someone that will remind you to not give up, one that’s gonna validate what you do when you’re right, but won’t be afraid to tell you to correct your course if you’re not.”
“Someone that’s going to tell you that they enjoy everything about you, the fact you never wear two socks of the same color, your singing-along when you hear a bop you like, even when you only know two lines from that song, your love for Camp Triggerfish and your hatred for wasabi. Who love that you smell like campfire and wildflowers when you’re happy, and like thunderstorms when you’re not”
“I don’t know if that’s what you’re looking for. But, that’s what I got to offer you.”
——————————————-
“Well no…”
Fuck
“…that’s not the answer I was looking for…”
Of course it wasn’t, but Perry had to try, sell himself again, at least. Maybe in three months from now, the idea will have forged itself in their mind. There is still the possibility that in December, they’d be more willing to listen, offer them an easier question.
Or, he could figure out the right answer.
Was worth trying.
“…however…”
They still lifted up their hand, slowly undoing the straps holding their mask on their face, removing it, and putting it on a table.
“…it doesn’t mean it wasn’t right.”
Seeing this as a sign of approval, Perry removed his own mask, looking in his former husband’s eyes for the first time in what had been ages. Goodness, his own eyes were welling up with tears, this was just so exciting, being with the one you never truly stopped loving, after all.
“I was more going for “just”, or “fair”, as the right answer, but fuck, that’s such a sweet answer you gave me, I can’t really turn that down, can I?”
———————-
“Angelo. I gotta ask you a question. You don’t got to answer it if you don’t want to. But…are you willing to let your dumb husband back in your life?”
“No.”
“My husband’s the smartest guy around; because if he was as dumb as he said, he wouldn’t be here tonight.”
Preliminary hearings were almost done; and he was ahead of schedule concerning his first report - noon was a good time to stop for the week.
“You’re calling it off early today, Commish” an intern said.
Oh, they haven’t known him for that long, but they were used to seeing him enter his office ar 7 in the morning, and leave far after they have; the Commission was a passion project, an opportunity for him to make things right.
He wasn’t a action hero like Aria or that Inkling girl with 3 IQ - his job wouldn’t be to defeat bad guys and get clout; it was about rebuilding, restructuring, organizing.
Doing it the Octarian way, with tons of paperwork and planification.
“I guess I am leaving early - I have something tonight, and I want to properly prepare myself for it.”
“As you say, Commish. See you Monday.”
“The one thing I didn’t miss about working for the octarian government is the amount of paperwork I gotta check on a daily basis.”
“My assistant just dropped me a report the size of the Valley’s phone book and I have to read all of this by Monday,”
blenderbuster:
“Yeeeaaaaahhh… honestly don’t know what you expected on that one, man.”
“Considering how secretiv agents usually are about things, I expected discretion.”
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
blenderbuster:
“Did you actually, explicitly tell her it was supposed to be kept secret from Eight?”
“No.”
“Goddamnit, I fucked up.”
freshesthero:
“OF COURSE I DIDN’T TELL HER ABOUT THE FOOD PARTY, YOU’RE THE ONE SHOUTING TO THE HEAVENS ABOUT IT!”
“FUCK”
freshesthero:
“SHE’S A SECRET AGENT TOO! WHY WOULD A SECRET AGENT WHOSE MISSION IS TO GUARD A SECRET AGENT NOT TELL THE OTHER SECRET AGENT THAT THEY ARE A SECRET AGENT!?!
“THE KEYWORD WAS SECRET, FOUR. SECRET AGENT. AS IN - SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULDN’T SAY AROUND PEOPLE EVEN IF THEY’RE ALSO SECRET AGENTS.”
“DID YOU MENTION THE FOOD PARTY TOO? GOD, AGENT ONE THIRD WOULD KILL ME IF YOU HAVE.”
“You told a highly-sociable inkling who can barely be considered ‘disguised’ when in uniform a secret… and expected it to be kept. Stunning.”
“I expected her to be able to keep a secret D:”
SNEEZES.
“YOU CAN’T OUT PEOPLE’S SUPER SECRET AGENT IDENTITIES, WHAT’S THE POINT OF BEING A SECRET AGENT IF YOU TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT.”
“AGENT FOUR!”
