Badly Placed Benches

Bench. bench. bencH.

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench blends into the background, escaping the notice of passerby. "If a bench is lonely and no one is around to sit on it, does it even exist?" it snarls in existentialist despair.

[badlyplacedbenches]

A child stops with her mother. "Look mommy, that bench has no cushions!" it squeals in cruel merriment. "It's impolite to point, dear," the mother chastises. They gallop away. A single tear rolls down the bench's leg.

[badlyplacedbenches]

The conjoined benches wheeze “Please sit on us. God, we are so lonely. Please.” A lone squirrel scurries over the table. “You tease!” one of the benches howls in a tortured croak.

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench realizes the futility of his advertising. "I need something to anchor me to this world," it mumbles.

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench gazes at the snowy tundra. “The whole world is a blank canvas, and I am the paint brush,” it snarls in rabid joy.

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench stares into the snowy abyss. “Life is hell,” it bellows in righteous fury.

[badlyplacedbenches]

The Adirondack brothers grimace unpleasantly at the university parking lot. "I wish I was a bench!" one screams hysterically. The others hum a Gregorian chant. Night falls. 

[badlyplacedbenches]

Lonely bench watches cars scream by, people walking. "No one ever stops," it pants hungrily. 

[mymadchesterlife]

I don’t want to be a passenger sitting on the bench not doing much, even in my older years. Frank Lampard 😂👍 #london #benchporn (presso St James’s Park)

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench gazes at tree. "Son?" it murmurs softly.

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench moans in despair. "Why will no one sit on my cushions," it gasps in desperation.

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench wistfully takes a drag from a cigarette. "Can I ever end this vicious cycle of self abuse" it sighs.

[badlyplacedbenches]

Bench forlornly gazes at brick wall, sheds single tear.