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Kiana Khansmith

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@badmuttbites
“nobody wants to work anymore” yeah because everyone wants to kill themselves
i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything
”I must be faking for attention” I say in complete isolation.
#drunk posting because I am drunk as fuck and it's wild. Bffs 21st birthday and he had 4 wine bottles. He drunk as fuck I'm drunk k as fuck and you know what? Thts a okay. It's our right to get drunk as fuck on his birthday. Technically it not his birthday anymore because it's 130am but its fine. Just know I'm trying my best. My mom fell off her chair earlier but it's fine she just a light widget. Just know I'm dr k enough for autoclrfect doesn't work anymonre. I've exited the qpp qppatleT 4 times idk were I am at this point
Weed ran out, started my fucking cycle with no supplies, and I have to deal with jr high kids before I get to go home
Oh it'd be so nice to just disappear and die in the middle of nowhere. Just drive off until I can't go no more do it whenever my journey stops.
I'm so tired all the damn time, I'm constantly driving my friend to and from work as well as myself so that means I get home at 12am from taking him home and wake up at 4:30am to take myself to work. I usually end up feeling paranoid and delirious by the end of the week ugh
Sometimes I wish I could just k my s and get it over with man. Like it's all bullshit it's all fucked we don't know if it'll ever get better. Just just want to be done with it.
Feeling great rn, I feel content and motivated to do stuff. Feeling pretty positive. I'm gonna go home and shower, eat, maybe clean up a bit. Idk just Feeling good 🤘
Me: I'm tired of being alive
Me: *random chest pain*
Me: Please lord not like this
Started the day feeling great, before my brain decided "fuck you" and now I want to put a bullet through my head. Idk why. It just kinda, happens sometimes.
The fucking. Episode
No! I can’t post consistently, I’m busy being passively suicidal, god…
It's all I can think about. Every idle moment is just me thinking about how much I just want to kms. Very tempted to use my last day off and drive to nowhere and do it.
I tell people, tell myself I want to get better. Yet when things start getting bad I never reach out. Despite my promises that I would, I never do.
Being passively suicidal is funny as fuck like yeah i don't plan on doing anything and knowing me i never will but the idea of a gun to my head sounds really fucking good right now.