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Me: this is the thIRD DAY IN A ROW IVE GOTTEN DRESSED AND ITS SUMMER I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS

Friend: you can sit?

Me, aggressively pointing at him: that is an excellent point

*trying to figure out which cord in the basement connects to which cable box upstairs*

Little bro: I wonder....

Me: (seeing him in the corner of my eye reaching for a cord)

Me: NO DON-

Little bro: *pulls*

Mom's cable box upstairs: *loud thud*

Brother: What do you think innocence tastes like?

Me: please dont eat a small toddler

Brother: well it doesn't have to be a toddler

In an argument about who would win in a fight

My sister: Sonic has way bigger dick energy in an honest 1v1 with bitch ass emeralds he'd win

Brother: yeah but shadow has the ~e d g e~

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