can you write a letter to baker from like 5 years ago explaining her current situation
you’re 19 now. you got into your dream college, just like we always planned. you graduated top of the class and now you’re having the time of your life at LSU. and you fell in love. you found it in the most unexpected place but it’s amazing. better than you ever imagined. just don’t be too scared when it comes around, okay?
i say that because, well… it’s hannah. you fall in love with hannah. and god, every time her fingertips trace along your skin it’s electrifying. every time you kiss her your lips tingle for hours after. i won’t lie to you, bake, it’s messy. you act on impulse one night at a party and you kiss her and the whole world falls at your feet - and just like that you were done for. you drive home from clay’s party one night with hannah, you spent half an hour stargazing and then left to make mac ‘n’ cheese and i’m pretty sure it’s while you’re driving down the moonlit road as the rain lightly tapped against the windscreen as hannah bopped her head and hummed along to strawberry swing that you realised it was something more. but the kiss almost ruins it. you’re scared and you’re ashamed. you do everything you can to stop feeling that way.. you even do something you regret and it breaks your heart because it’s something sacred. something that only felt right with hannah. you’re going to push her away and you’re gonna hurt her, but promise me you’ll make it up to her? because she deserves the world, and you need to give that to her. she’s brave and she protected you - she really, really loves you.
you have a bit of an accident - but maybe a bump to the head was all you needed. that teaches you for getting brave, huh? don’t forget to thank Ms. C. and never, ever delete her email to you. it’s important and part of what shaped you as a person.
you’re ready to accept yourself, and to allow yourself to love hannah. and it’s wonderful. be patient with people, won’t you? especially your parents. they love you and your happiness is important to them. but it’s a lot to take in. they’re really trying, i promise. it’s easier now - especially because they love hannah so much. han’s special, bake.
you’ll get to 17 and you’ll be terrified because kissing your best friend felt like coming home. and then you’ll get to 19 and be so in love with every last bit of her you’ll wonder why home ever scared you to begin with.
so now you’re 19. studying at LSU, you’ve made a ton of new friends, you’re acing your classes and you’re happy. you’re happy, bake. you were so scared and ashamed - so guilt ridden. and everything fell into place and you can’t remember the last time your heart ever felt so full - you don’t think it ever has. hannah is visiting from Emory and is due to arrive any minute and you’ll spend the weekend together, just like you do every month. long distance is hard, but she makes it so worth it. cherish her and love her with every fibre of your being because you’ll never find another girl like her. trust me.
you did it, bake. you found yourself and you fell in love with the most wonderful girl in the entire world - but most importantly, you learnt how to love yourself. you did it.
don’t waste a single second; cease every moment and love like it’s the last time you’ll ever taste her lips again. just love.
