all the stars are closer

selective multi muse. (mainly star wars and marvel characters)

[balancesoflight-blog]

xmenageriie‌:

🕷 — MICHELLE

A question like that should have provoked intense thought, but nothing came to mind. It was a simple question with only two answers — yes or no.

Well, one answer.

Peter knew what he wanted, and he hoped beyond hope that the question she posed meant she wanted the same thing. He didn’t kiss because it was a hobby or something he wanted to experience before he met someone serious. He laid his affections on her and placed his heart in her hands because she was the one he felt the most serious about. She was it. He was sure of it.

“Yes!” He had no reason to think. He didn’t hesitate. All that he felt was a rush of glee and relief. His own cowardice kept him from confessing to her first, but the fact that she said it first and was the one to push the boundaries was what made him admire her. “And I want to be your boyfriend.”

He shifted where he sat, grasped her hands tighter and brought them up. He nuzzled into her knuckles, eyes trained intently on hers. Normally, he was too awkward and anxious to look at her so intensely, but his heart was demanding it. She needed to see in his expression that he was serious.

“Y’know, I thought I was makin’ it kind of obvious that I liked you. But I’m starting to think it wasn’t that obvious.” Wanting to be around her constantly, kissing her, holding her hand and snickering at her jokes when no one else would. Those all felt like crystal clear signs to him, but the only thing that was clear to him now was how wrong he was.

It feels as if their entire friendship has been built up to this exact moment. The moment where they finally talk about what’s been going on about them -- the subject it feels like they’ve been dancing around for months. Michelle worries her lower lip between her teeth, running her tongue over -- the sting of the chapped skin under it as she tries to keep herself calm. She’s liked Peter Parker since she saw his dorky shirt in their freshman biology class, where he soon after proved he’s one of the smartest people, in Michelle’s mind, in their entire school -- hell, even maybe in New York City itself.  Her mother always tells her that she gets too serious about things, that she invests too much of herself -- and Michelle knows she’s right, but she also knows that since she’d met Peter, she hasn’t doubted her feelings for him. She’s just never been sure he’s felt the same way. Her eyes widen, hearing Peter’s response. He likes her too. He wants -- what Michelle wants; he wants them to be together. Her heart feels like it’s pounding a mile a minute against her ribcage, her hands trembling slightly -- mostly just from pure nerves now.  She can’t hold back the way her eyes sting with barely there tears, feeling the way he presses his face against her knuckles, unsure if this is real -- or if she’s dreaming. Michelle smiles a little, albeit shyly, before pressing a gentle kiss to Peter’s cheek before pulling back. There’s no part of her that doubts Peter’s real intentions for her now. Michelle laughs quietly, the sound soft from her parted lips. “Maybe you were. But I wasn’t -- I didn’t want to let myself hope too much if you did like me back,” Michelle tells him for a moment, pinching her lips together in thought before continuing, “I’ve liked you for a long time, Peter. Since -- God, since freshman year biology class,” she admits to him, her eyes tracing his features, trying to read his reaction to her confession now.

[balancesoflight-blog]

xmenageriie‌:

🕷 — MICHELLE

He carried that weight as best as he could, but she was one of the few reasons why it hadn’t crushed him. Her, Ned, Aunt May — whether or not they knew about his responsibilities, they did make it a point to remind him that he was still Peter. Like any other human-being, he needed time to unwind and be himself. No heroics, no following that spidey-sense for small crimes that the police could handle.

Peter wished he could thank Michelle for the support, but doing so might tip her off.

“I don’t get it, though. A kiss is a kiss, right? How can it be bad? I mean, it’s like pizza. Not all pizza is good, but it’s still pizza, y’know?” The logic of a young man that was slightly hungry and still mind-numbed by his crush kissing him was astounding. He was brilliant, and all he could think to do was compare the moment to eating pizza.

Eyes dart to her, a sparkle of relief brightening at his whole expression.

Parties had never been a strength of his. No matter how confident he was as Spider-Man, it never translated to his normal life. He didn’t want it to. People needed to see a stark contrast between his awkward, nerdy self and the quick, quip-throwing hero. So when she suggested they bail, he nodded.

“I’m game! I don’t even know who this party is being thrown by.” He felt a swell in his chest, but he had to squash it down because picking her up and swinging away wouldn’t give away who he was.

Mouth open, argument ready, Peter was forced to flounder. She was right; her waffles were in an entire league of their own. And now that he was thinking about it, it had been a while since he last had breakfast at her place. With his mind still hazy and his filter shaken loose, he let out a quiet laugh.

“Why don’t we just go to your place then?”

Peter will never know that Michelle keeps ‘tabs’ on Spider-Man, with things like alerts whenever a headline with the famed superhero hits the news outlets, or things like that. Her idea of Peter Parker being the masked hero has never been confirmed to her, but a part of her knows -- deep down -- who he is. But she doesn’t ask him about it, instead tries to not let herself worry too much, not let herself be terrified that one night things will get beyond his control, and he won’t come home. She won’t let her thoughts get that far. Michelle scrunches up her face, unable to hold back the quiet laughter that leaves her lips. She grips Peter’s hand gently, shaking her head as she looks at him. “You need to work on your analogies, Parker,” she tells him simply, though the amused smile is still on her lips. “Some people are just bad at kissing. Like it’s beyond their control or their help -- it’s something they’ll never get right. Some people can improve and some excel at it. So, not really like pizza,” she teases him gently. Michelle finds herself glad Peter nods when she suggests they leave, glad and grateful that Peter isn’t going to make her stick around here any longer than they have to be. “Just some guy I knew in my journalism class last year... he just used me to date my roommate,” she says with a small shrug. She smiles a little, nodding toward him when she hears him suggest they go to her house. “My mom’s got an overnight surgery, so she won’t be there to critique my waffle making skills...” Michelle says, tucking some of her curly hair behind her ear. “She think she’s better than me, but she’s not even close,” she adds. Her house is only about a five minute walk away, and by the time they round the corner Michelle still hasn’t let go of Peter’s hand. She’s nervous now, for some reason -- swallowing, her throat tight as she takes in a deep breath. What does she say? What could she say that wouldn’t make herself look like a complete idiot in front of Peter Parker? “Do you -- like blueberries in your waffles? I can’t remember,” Michelle asks, doing her very best to not make a face after she asks. Of all the questions, she thinks flatly to herself, leading Peter up her front porch and unlocking the front door. 

[balancesoflight-blog]

apparentheir‌:

ID. REY * ( @balancesoflight​ )

SECRET  -  KEEPING  ;  it  wasn’t  any  easier  in  college  ,  if  anything  it  was  becoming  so  much  more  difficult  given  that  the  subject  of  Alderaan  had  come  up  in  art  class  more  than  once  ,  it  was  a  country  rich  in  art  and  music.  Which  of  course  he  knew  ,  being  in  line  for  the  throne  there.  HIS  UNCLE  HAD  GIVEN  HIM  A  SYMPATHETIC  LOOK  OCCASIONALLY  ,  being  the  teacher  for  that  course.  Luke  had  the  normal  life  that  Ben  craved  ,  he  knows  it  wasn’t  as  if  he  could  escape  it.  Eventually  he’d  have  to  make  a  choice  ,  ascend  the  throne  or  abdicate.  The  aspiring  artist  tries  not  to  think  too  much  about  it  at  the  moment.  His  mother  was  content  with  running  things  ;  and  his  father  needed  him.

Being  a  prince  is  more  trouble  than  it’s  worth  ,  as  he’s  told  his  father  over  and  over  again  whenever  the  man  has  tried  to  convince  him  it  could  be  a  good  thing.  BEN  DOESN’T  WANT  PEOPLE  TO  TREAT  HIM  DIFFERENTLY.    He’d  already  gone  through  that  when  he’d  been  diagnosed  with  autism  ,  people  had  treated  him  like  he  needed  to  be  coddled.  Some  people  dreamed  of  being  royalty  ,  Ben  knew  it  would  only  make  his  life  harder.  He  was  the  tallest  person  on  his  course  ,  he  was  highly  introverted.  The  truth  was  he  didn’t  want  to  add  a  crown  to  that  equation.  EVEN  THOUGH  HE  KNOWS  HE  COULD  DO  GREAT  THINGS  WITH  THAT  POWER.  He  could  implement  new  laws,  ones  that  bettered  his  people. He  knows  that  he  should  tell  Rey  but  the  truth  is  every  time  he’s  tried  ,  the  words  have  failed  him.  IF  YOU  TELL  EVEN  ONE  PERSON  ;  someone  else  might  find  out  and  it  could  start  a  chain  reaction.  He  doesn’t  want  to  put  that  responsibility  on  her  shoulders.  It  had  been  easier  to  keep  it  a  secret.  Besides  ,  it  was  his  private  life.  HE  COULD  BE  TOO  HARD  ON  HIMSELF.  His  father  often  had  to  remind  him  that  nobody  was  entitled  to  know  everything  about  a  person.  No  matter  how  strong  the  trust  was.  He  cannot  help  but  feel  guilty  tho.  He’d  shared  everything  with  Rey  since  they  were  children.  She’d  spent  more  time  here  than  she  had  in  her  own  apartment.

They’d  spent  most  of  their  evenings  together  highschool  and  now  even  with  Rey  at  nursing  school  and  Ben  at  college.  SHE  KNOWS  HIS  FAMILIAR  HANDWRITING  ,  has  found  his  post  it  notes  more  often  than  not.  Even  now  he  was  still  writing  them  ,  littering  the  loft  with  them  so  his  father  would  remember.  It  wasn’t  that  Han  was  an  irresponsible  parent  ,  he  was  always  there  for  the  stuff  that  mattered  but  he  had  the  memory  of  a  goldfish  and  sometimes  it  was  just  easier  for  Ben  to  give  him  a  gentle  push  in  the  right  direction.      WHILST  REY  HAD  MET  HAN  ,  Ben  had  yet  to  introduce  her  to  his  mother.  Mostly  because  he  rarely  saw  her  &  also  because  he  didn’t  want  the  family  secret  to  get  out.  There  had  been  time  when  he’d  wondered  if  his  parents  would  get  back  together.  HE  REMEMBERS  ASKING  HIS  FATHER  A  FEW  YEARS  AGO  ;  back  when  they  were  getting  along  again.  Han  had  choked  on  a  mouthful  of  his  dinner  and  burst  into  laughter.  Ben  had  quickly  dropped  the  subject  &  vowed  there  and  then  to  do  all  he  could  to  make  sure  Rey  didn’t  meet  his  mother  ,  nor  his  grandmother.  It  was  better  if  she  just  didn’t  know.  He  didn’t  want  her  to  look  at  him  as  a  prince  ,  instead  of  her  friend,

Rey  has  not  had  the  easiest  life  ,  her  parents  were  nothing  short  of  unreliable.  Two  people  who  had  neglected  their  daughter  ,  rather  than  nourish  her  and  give  her  encouragement.  HAN  HAD  STEPPED  IN  OF  COURSE.  ‘Nobody  should  have  to  grow  up  like  that.’  He’d  told  Ben  and  Rey  in  his  gruff  voice.  He’d  understood  what  Rey’s  life  was  like  because  he’d  lived  it.  BEN  HAD  ALWAYS  TRIED  TO  MAKE  THINGS  EASIER  FOR  HER  ,  to  give  her  a  shoulder  whenever  she  needed  it.

WHEN  HE  OPENS  THE  DOOR  ,  THE  UNEXPECTED  HAPPENS.  She’s  holding  a  paper  and  his  entire  world  comes  crashing  down  ;  he  takes  it  from  her  ,  his  joyful  expression  disappearing.  His  face  is  pasted  all  over  it.  “DAD!!!”  Panic  mode  was  activated  ,  he’s  throwing  the  offending  article  onto  the  table.  Han  takes  one  look  at  it  and  seems  to  wake  up.  “I’ll  call  your  mother  ,  why  do  i  have  a  feeling  Breha  had  something  to  do  with  this.”  THE  MECHANIC  GRUMBLES  ,  reaching  for  his  cellphone.  Ben  turns  back  to  Rey  looking  as  if  he’d  rather  have  this  conversation  with  anyone  else.  “Come  sit  with  me  on  the  fire  escape?  Please?  I’ll  explain  everything.”  He  begs.

Ben’s always been something like a constant, like a foundation underneath Rey’s feet -- never faltering, never changing. She’s always known, since the first day she’d met him, that he was someone who would stand by he through anything -- and he has. Rey’s been there for Ben as well, it’s not as if she’s simply been using him for his gentle, good hearted nature towards her. She feels safe with Ben and with Han, who has had no issues letting Rey into his home. It was odd at first, having two people who weren’t her parents -- getting annoyed with anything she asked or said, or only asking her for something when they wanted her to pick up food. The only reason they’d paid for her to get her license was simply so she could be the one to pick up whatever they needed, though they never cared for much of her life beyond that.  She’s told Ben everything in her life, for the most part; of the struggles and the harder times, of the easier times -- watching movies with him and whatever show the two of them have been going through together, she’s always liked having him there, pressed against her side. Rey’s never found a good way to tell Ben she’s sure she’s in love with him, though she can’t be completely certain -- because she’s not sure if she’s ever been in love, but still. She’s more than likely in love with Ben, is what she tells herself. Which is why, seeing his name and face on the front of the newspaper left Rey’s hands trembling -- her lips quivering, her eyes frantically searching Ben’s face, trying to find an answer. This seems like such a large secret to keep, how has he kept it for long? Rey hates that she knows there’s a larger chance this article is true than not, because why else would they put Ben’s face on the cover? An obscure boy from the city? Rey feels sick. She feels sick because if it is true, Ben’s secret got exposed -- but also terrified because he never told her. She can hear Han’s disgruntled talking, more than likely unhappy with what Ben’s just presented him with -- but he doesn’t deny it, is Rey’s first thought. Han didn’t deny it, and neither did Ben. So it’s real. She’s going to lose Ben, isn’t she?  She can clearly see the way Ben’s frantic now, more than likely panicking as she watches him for a moment -- trying to gather herself together, trying to put herself somewhat back to form coherent sentences now. A part of her wants to run, to leave and not hear Ben’s side of the story, but Rey doesn’t let her legs take her away from him now. “Alright,” she says, her voice quiet and eyes wide -- still tracing Ben’s face, trying to put this altogether in her head. “Yeah, let’s -- go to the fire escape,” she says, stepping inside to follow after Ben now, still feeling a bit shocked, to say the least.

[osbcrned-aa-deactivated20200407]

    → HARRY OFFERS A THIN SMILE, IF ONLY TO CLEAR the awkwardness of the situation he’s been presented with. He doesn’t know what to say. He’s been suppressing all thoughts of Peter and of LAST YEAR since he’d been released from the hospital, forcing it beneath the many jails of memory that he’s locked himself in. Peter doesn’t feel like a PIECE of him anymore; but he did that to himself. Harry had ruined their friendship at least ten times over, and the fact that Peter is here at all is astounding to him. He shuffles his feet slightly & presses his fingertips against the top of Lilo’s head.

          – “ UM. THIS IS LILO. I’D TELL HER TO SAY HI TO YOU, BUT           SHE’S WORKING. ” –

    A seemingly-unnecessary detail, but it lets Harry exhale softly; DOGS FIX EVERYTHING, or so he’s been repeating as a mantra. He could feel Peter’s eyes on her, so he may as well make an introduction. He feels the husky press her nose up into his hand & he sighs again, stomach bottoming out into a slightly calmer state, before he speaks again in reply.

          – “ I- UM … THANKS, PETER. I’M … OKAY. ” –

    He’s not. It’s a SLIGHT LIE. He’s better than he’d been the last time he’d seen Peter, the last time he’d been in court or in a hospital, but that doesn’t MEAN MUCH. The last times, he’d been a MUTATION of a man, some creature that now lives inside the confines of his BRAIN. He can hear it, sometimes, especially when he’s alone, but also now that he sees PETER. It wants to taunt him. Harry doesn’t let it, instead swallowing thickly.

          – “ I- SORRY I SHOULD HAVE … CALLED … ” –

    He’d been scared to.

[balancesoflight-blog]

Peter can clearly see the way Harry’s lips curve into a barely-there smile, making the uncertainty of his even showing up here growing larger in his chest. Had he made a mistake? Should he have not come at all? Peter takes in a deep breath, trying to calm the way his heart feels like it’s hammering against his ribs, unsure if Harry can hear it in the silence that settles between them for a few moments. Peter pauses, his eyes trailing to where he can see Harry’s fingers touch the dog, Lilo, as he swallows. “Right, no, I -- get that,” Peter assures Harry with a small nod, looking over at her.  He doesn’t comment on the way she presses her nose against Harry’s hand, not making any movement to pet her. Peter pinches his lips together, hating that he’s put Harry in a position where he also feels uncomfortable now -- but they have to get through this to be able to talk to each other again, don’t they? To get past the awkwardness and try and be friends again? He glances back toward Harry, very clearly seeing he hasn’t been okay -- but Peter doesn’t think right now is the time to call Harry out on that right now. He knows better than to do that. Peter runs a hand through his hair, his face softening as he hears Harry’s next words. “No, I didn’t -- I hadn’t called you either, Harry. This is equally my fault, if not -- more so my fault,” he assures Harry, unsure of where to even start with all of this. “I wasn’t really -- I was scared you didn’t want to see me,” Peter admits, shrugging his shoulders, sheepish and quiet now.

[balancesoflight-blog]

hopefulaspires‌:

may is completely and utterly exhausted. she finished the day with a lost patient. the guilt ate away at her, but she always tried to ignore it. she tried to remind herself that it wasn’t her fault. that she couldn’t save everyone. but then again memories of the attack on New York flooded her mind and she’s reminded of the good that she can do. may had been injured in the New York attack. Her right arm and leg had been broken and she had been crushed. she was on desk duty (as she was left-handed) for weeks which if anyone knew her they would know that didn’t go over to well. 

Ben had been an officer, responding to the scene. he stayed by her until the ambulance came, listening to her orders not to move her head in order to avoid paralysis. it was moments like today that May was reminded of her husband. that she wished he was around but it was moments like today that she clung to peter with everything she had. 

when she got home from the hospital, she began to make her favorite dish. Bruschetta. she knew peter favored it too which was partly the reason she was making it. her feet move lightly around the kitchen, and she has half the dish made when she gets the message from Peter that he would be home late. May contents herself with eating along, staring at the spot opposite her where Ben had always sat. 

She’s getting a glass of water, about to head to bed when she hears Peters voice. Confusion fills her eyes as he enters into the kitchen. she didn’t see him come in the front door and–oh my god was he injured? bare feet make their way over to her nephew (and in many ways her son) and lead him to the kitchen table. 

“oh my god. Peter. What the hell happened? Who hurt you?” Who do I have to kill, she adds in her head. she runs to the get the industrial size first aid kit, slipping on a pair of gloves from her lab coat. “Take off your shirt. Right now. Let me see you. Your pants too. Do we need to go to the emergency room?” she knows she doesn’t have all the equipment here that she would need and his leg worries her. 

“Now Peter. Listen to me. Whatever you need to say can wait.”

Most of the time, Peter hates that he feels like a burden -- but he does. He was put in Aunt May and Uncle Ben’s lives after his parents died, and they raised Peter like they would have if they’d had their own children. And Peter’s grateful, always will be grateful, because he knows the time he’s had with May and Ben has been moments he wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.  When Aunt May is at work and Peter’s out on the streets in his suit, he feels as though he can see how alike they are -- the two of them (or three, if Uncle Ben was still around), though mainly through their passion and want to help people. In a hospital and an officer in the city, Peter’s trying to do his part and fulfill the legacy they both gave him.  He just wants to make them proud. Or, Aunt May proud now -- Peter thinks with a pang of guilt in his chest. He pauses, seeing her getting a glass of water and knowing she’s more than likely going to head off to bed, if it hadn’t of been for Peter intruding on what would’ve been her night alone. He hates that she’s alone for dinner now because he isn’t there. More guilt to add to his already growing pile, Peter thinks to himself. The worry in her voice is expected, Peter going along easily as she takes him over to the table in the kitchen. He hadn’t thought of an excuse, Peter realizes at her questioning -- he hadn’t come up with a reason why he looks the way he does. “I, um. Some guys they -- beat me up, as I was walking home,” Peter says, wincing -- not just from the pain, but because he’d just lied to Aunt May, something he never wants to do.  His eyes wander to the first aid kit, sucking in a sharp breath as he works to get off his shirt, shaking his head. “No, no emergency room --” Peter starts, looking up at Aunt May for a few, panicked moments. “I have to tell you this, I have to say it now or I never will --” Peter continues, his voice shaking as he doesn’t take off his pants, only because he doesn’t want his Aunt to see the extent of his injuries now.

[balancesoflight-blog]

so school is Kicking my Butt but to get some downtime from essay’s and studying i’m going to be posting some replies! i’m so sorry about the wait, i love you all

[balancesoflight-blog]

xmenageriie‌:

🕷 — MICHELLE

“Ned called me a wimp? Me? Yeah, well — did he ever tell you about the time he —— !!” Story time was promptly cancelled by a deep, pained groan when a particularly deep gouge needed to be cleaned out. His body would thank him later for having her pick out each and every granule of dirt, but all he could think at the moment was that this was utter torture. The alcohol didn’t help, and neither did squirming to alleviate the pain. 

He had to endure this for his sake, and for the sake of the woman tending to his wounds. Because regardless the sharp spikes in pain, he knew she would patch him up right.

“Yeah.  .  . Yeah, I know.” He nodded and exhaled sharply, letting the cold do its job. A hand pressed flat to the ice pack, moving it gradually from one spot to another. There were too many bruises, too my bumps and cuts and sprains for one person to mend, but he didn’t want anyone else laying their hands on him. Physical pain wasn’t the only kind he dealt with as Spider-Man, and there were so few that could help ease the other bouts of anguish he felt once the fight was over.

Brave.  .  . She thought he was brave.

Peter assumed that she didn’t understand just how brave he needed to be. The weight of a whole city rested on his shoulders some days, and no one but Stark and Ned knew. And Michelle had done a wonderful job of hiding that she knew, so he took the compliment with a grain of salt — how brave could he really be if he was so terrified of letting her know the truth?

He’s brave, however, when the atmosphere shifts. There was still scorching and aching pains, but the tension was palpable now. The hairs along his arms stood on end, and it wasn’t because of his spidey sense. A knot the size of his fist became lodged in his throat and prevented him from making any sound aside from the awkward little cough here and there.

It took a final, harder cough to shake the knot loose and give him back his voice.

“Yeah! I wouldn’t.  .  . I wouldn’t mind ‘cause, uh.  .  .” He breathed in, cheeks burning hot at the little touch of their noses. For a short second, his mind crashed. His body functioned despite everything from the neck up refusing to work.

All words seemed foreign to him, but he managed to blurt out the first thing that came to mind.

“My lip hurts.” Smooth.

Michelle pauses, wincing noticeably as she hears Peter’s loud sound of pain in response to her cleaning out his cut now. She doesn’t like that he’s in pain but even worse -- she hates that he’s in pain currently because she’s the reason for it; but she has to make sure his cuts are clean so they can heal, but she hates hearing the pained sounds coming from his lips. “I’m sorry,” she tells him gently, brushing some hair from his forehead again and looking at him now with a soft expression. “I know it hurts -- but you’ve got a lot of dirt and stuff in your cuts, Peter. What were you even doing?” she hopes that her asking him questions can try and get his mind off the pain, though right now Michelle doubts that. She’s terrified she’s not doing a good enough job of getting him back together, but Michelle is doing her best. Her laptop screen is now dark, her paper long forgotten and trying to help Peter now the only thought on her mind -- scanning his other cuts she’s already cleaned, taking in a deep breath. Any and all tactics she’s using tonight were learned from her mother, who has worked very hard to be where she is currently in the world of surgery. There’s so much over Peter’s chest alone that the ice pack surely can’t help it all, but Michelle at least has to try. Her face is still soft but also focused, leaning over to press a comforting kiss to his temple. She feels helpless in giving him comfort, unsure of how to do so when she’s the reason he’s in even more pain right now. “We don’t have enough ice packs for your bruises though,” Michelle points out, doing her best to tease him -- but all that comes out is a worried tone as she speaks. Perhaps her mentioning he was brave was a way to show Peter she knows his secret; the one he’s been -- quite badly -- been trying to hide from her for years since high school, but she knows it now. She doesn’t know what it feels like to put on a suit and mask and go out into the city at all hours of the day to save people, but Michelle knows it’s a kind of bravery she herself doesn’t possess, but Peter Parker does.  She wonders if he can hear how her heart is pounding against her ribcage. That after years of waiting for Peter, years of wondering and continually being unsure of what’s going on between them -- this is different. It feels as though something has shifted between them to something different, something on the verge of being more than friends. Michelle waits -- holding a nervous breath as she hears Peter’s coughs, worry evident on her face as she hears him finally speak after a few moments. Michelle swallows, feeling about as nervous as Peter sounds -- their noses brushing making her head feel as though it’s spinning now.  She’s kissed a few boys before, but not one that she’s felt so strongly for -- like she does for Peter. My lip hurts; Michelle finds herself smiling, because that was, without a doubt, the most Peter Parker thing he could’ve said in this moment. Michelle stops for a moment, knowing that once they kiss they can’t come back from this, but she’s been waiting for this moment for years. It’s merely a slight shift of her head that she kisses him, their face already close enough that she didn’t need to do much else. She presses carefully, trying not to hurt Peter any further than he already is -- but also kisses him deeply, unable to hold back and hide the feelings she has for him in a simple kiss. This was more than that. This wasn’t just some quick peck of their lips against one another, this was something with more emotion -- with Michelle running a gentle hand through Peter’s hair and waits for his reaction, worried and unsure of herself now.

[balancesoflight-blog]

tigresstm‌:

Mary Jane wasn’t generally a liar, though her internship in the world of journalism and media taught her just how to do it. Despite the fact she could see right through him, she knew everyone else just thought he was trying to look cool. Yet she knew there was something lingering, even if he wasn’t FULLY lying. She wouldn’t confront him about it, though eventually she wanted to find out the truth. ❛ Probably not, but it’s always worth the effort. ❜ She agreed bluntly with a shrug in return.

With a laugh she shakes her head, ❛ Actually, neither of those. I just happen to intern at one of the worst journalism outlets in New York. ❜ MJ retorts, her body visibly cringing at the thought of the Bugle. If it weren’t ran by a man like J. Jonah Jameson it probably wouldn’t be half bad. Though she wouldn’t give it too much credit. ❛ That’s my backup plan till I make it on Broadway. ❜ 

Her skepticism lingered though she sighed in defeat. ❛ Okay, okay … But don’t expect me to believe you all the time. ❜ If there was one thing Mary Jane valued in herself, it was her honesty, though she did lie sometimes, but very rarely. ❛ I get it, tech-y and science-y stuff. I’ll leave you to that because I don’t really know about it or care to learn it, ❜ She admitted dismissively, waving her hand to excuse it.

Removing her hand, she shrugs lightly, though a knowing grin sweeps her lips, ❛ No need to thank me for stating facts. ❜ Even with her nonchalant tone, Mary Jane knew fully well that it went deeper than just a peer appreciation. Hell, by now she was sure EVERYONE around them knew about her slight crush, though everyone but him. Not that he needed to know.

Her eyes light up briefly, ❛ Thank god, I’ve been wanting to try it out for a while. Starbucks is literally way too expensive anyways. Who pays five dollars for coffee? ❜ Her comment went right over her own head, considering she spent five dollars every day at the location for her own coffee. ❛ But really, Peter, thanks for this. I owe you one. ❜

The fact that everyone else saw Peter’s internship with Tony Stark simply as a means to ‘become popular’ meant that no one else was going to question it, which was in Peter’s advantage. Except when it comes to MJ, who has made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t believe Peter fully on his internship, the only one who has managed to look closer at his lies and started to unfold them. He looks over at her, rolling his eyes as he elbows her side gently in response. “You can tutor me in lying,” he jokes, smiling a little now. At her mention of the ‘worst’ journalism outlets, Peter makes a face. “You’re interning at the Bugle?” he asks, mainly because they write the worst articles on Spider-Man, and he isn’t exactly super pleased about the things they’ve said about the masked superhero. Peter’s face softens, nodding as he hears her mention her plan of getting onto Broadway. “You’ll -- you’ll be great, you know. Doing Broadway shoes, and stuff. Just -- don’t forget me when you’re famous, and all that,” he says, nodding toward her now. “Tech-y and science-y stuff?” Peter repeats, amusement clearly on his features as he laughs softly. “I can show you it sometime, the labs. I won’t explain science-y stuff to you, but it might be cool to see,” Peter offers, knowing full well Tony will be teasing him for it until the end of time. His cheeks are still coloured a noticeable shade of red, hearing MJ telling him she merely ‘states facts’ as he nods slowly in response. “Right, of course,” Peter jokes softly, clearing his throat. “I can’t argue with facts then, I guess.” When her eyes light up Peter tries to ignore the nerves in his stomach, because he’s just glad he was able to make her smile. “Yeah, it’s uh -- it’s no problem,” Peter assures her, following her along the sidewalk outside of the school. “Do you have your questions and stuff all ready?” he asks, already nervous at the prospect of being interviewed. But it was for MJ, and Peter knows how he feels about her -- so he also knew he wasn’t going to say no to her interviewing him.

[balancesoflight-blog]

raptorraised‌:

Spiderman:

Owen himself isn’t quite sure of whether or not he has a concussion but he is well enough to pause and catch the sudden change in the other’s voice. He gives the young man (well…as best as he can) an inquisitive look. “Making your voice deeper isn’t gonna convince me that you’re not young.” If anything it just proved him right. “You’re a kid and that’s fine. I didn’t say I didn’t trust you, age isn’t exactly something you can help.” 

“So you get what I’m saying then. The less people know, the less likely they are to get on your back about it.” A lot of those conversations he would end by just walking away or refusing to continue on with the subject. He didn’t want to be judged or questioned about it, was that so much to ask? “You get to have…this life and I’m assuming, some sort of normal life. Meanwhile, everywhere I go, if dinosaurs or the park come up, I’ve got no where to hide.” 

He shakes his head. “It’s one thing if people think I’m passionate. It’s another thing entirely if they think dinosaurs make up the whole of my life or my interests.” A beat. “Or they scold me for something they don’t understand or someone thing that blaming me for the whole thing will solve the problem—This isn’t really the time or the place to be discussing this.” 

A one note laugh leaves him and he rolls his eyes playfully. “Maybe you should take up journalism then, if you like askin’ em that much.” 

The question is quickly waved off. “I’m not giving you the lecture here and now, just come to the darn thing if you’re that interested.” He follows suit, quickly and silently as he can. Man, it’d be nice if he had some sort of means of protection or something…other than Spiderman of course, something he could use himself. He pretends to seriously consider the question for a moment. “Oh I don’t know, the scientist behind all of the dinosaur genetics? People who are seriously anti-dino? Anyone who was…at the auction where the animal were sold and either didn’t get one or we liberated it from?” 

Peter knows that’s partly why he wears the mask -- to try and hide he’s younger, and to try and keep his identity a secret. He knows that people would look at Spider-Man differently if they knew he was still in high school, but Peter wants Spider-Man to be taken seriously. He sighs, loudly, hearing Owen comment on his making his voice deeper. “Fine, just --” Peter holds his arms up in the air in silent defeat, “keep that to yourself, or whatever, alright?” Peter nods slowly, hearing Owen’s piece of the whole ordeal. “I mean, yeah, but -- it’s not like you can walk around with a mask. If people knew who I was without the mask -- I don’t think they’d really take Spider-Man as seriously, or whatever,” he says, though it’s a weak argument and he knows it. “My ‘normal’ life isn’t that normal, though. It’s kind of hard to balance this and -- everything else,” Peter admits after a moment. He’s right, though; they shouldn’t be discussing this here, so Peter doesn’t push Owen any further on the topic. Peter glances over toward him, humming quietly under the mask in considering. “I don’t know. I’m more -- into science, and stuff. But maybe journalism... I’d never considered it,” he admits after a moment. “Really? I’d get to go?” Peter asks, immediately excited at the prospect of hearing an entire talk from Owen about raptors and all his research now. Peter can distantly hear the sirens, but he and Owen are both out of sight now -- glad to be away from all the chaos and the noise on the street. At Owen’s answer Peter looks toward him, the concerned look and eyebrow raise in silent surprise on his face -- though Peter’s not sure what he expected in an answer from Owen now. “So you have... a few enemies, I guess,” Peter says flatly, unsure of where to take them now. “Where are you staying? I could probably find a way for us to get there,” Peter suggests, glancing down the street. 

[osbcrned-aa-deactivated20200407]

    → THE SILENCE HANGS HEAVY BETWEEN THEM, weighing heavier on Harry’s shoulders than anything else had as of late, but not quite FORCEFUL enough to make him turn away. He doesn’t want to, not REALLY. Harry is afraid of what Peter will say; he’s hurt his former friend HARSHLY in the wake of Oscorp’s spiral & his OWN. He never meant any of it- he hopes that Peter KNOWS THIS. But as he waits to hear his words, he realizes that the other isn’t here to be MALICIOUS; he, perhaps, missed Harry as much as Harry missed him. Or, he can hope so.

    His hands wring together awkwardly. He hasn’t spoken to many people other than doctors in months, & it feels as though he BARELY knows how to communicate anymore. He has so many things that he wants to say, but they lay stale on his tongue, drying the saliva like a bad taste in his mouth, & he is FROZEN. It almost seems like he’ll stay that way, until he blurts out, suddenly:

          – “ I- UM, COME IN … ” –

    Harryy pulls the door wider open to let Peter step inside. The house is almost exactly as it was before Harry left; with a few differences in place- there’s no liquor cabinet- less glass; things to protect both THE DOG & HIM. The thought of it makes the Osborn heir feel more like an infant than a man. A muscle in his neck twitches in irritation but he ignores it, refocusing.

    Why is he here ? The question echoes in Harry’s ears, similarly to how the voice of the GOBLIN does, & he finds himself on edge because of it. His teeth sink into the inside of his cheek. He stutters as he finds the words to speak his mind, finally, after a more-than extended silence.

          – “ I- IT’S- YEAH, WHAT, I … OVER A YEAR, NOW … ”  –

    His hands push forcefully into his pockets, fingertips finding the fabric to grab onto. Lilo nuzzles against his leg, & he exhales.

          – “ WHAT … BRINGS YOU HERE ? ” –

    I MISSED YOU, he wants to say.

[balancesoflight-blog]

There’s a lot of things they haven’t talked about -- and Peter can feel that, the time they haven’t seen each other makes it feel as though it’s been years since they’ve seen each other, when that isn’t the case; as if all the things that happened between them feel larger, all the -- Peter doesn’t let himself think on it too much. He exhales slowly, feeling nervous and out of place just standing in front of Harry’s now, as if he no longer fits in with Harry’s life.

Peter doesn’t say anything, not wanting to force Harry into a conversation if he doesn’t want too. He’s about to tell Harry he can go, if he wants him too -- but then Harry talks, breaking the silence and inviting Peter inside.

He follows in after Harry opens the door, glancing around for a few moments -- taking it all in as he runs a nervous hand through his hair, hating how he feels like he’s intruding on Harry’s life now -- unsure of himself, and unsure if he should even be here.

“Over a year, yeah,” Peter says in quiet agreement, clearing his throat awkwardly after a few moments. He still can’t believe it’s been that long since he’s seen Harry, knowing exactly why that was -- what all happened to bring them to this moment they’re currently in, and Peter hates it. He isn’t someone who likes to let things settle, he wants to fix them. But he isn’t sure how to fix this -- how to fix him and Harry.

Peter swallows, his eyes glancing over to where Lilo is against Harry’s leg -- gaze lingering for a moment before moving up to Harry’s face. “I, uh -- I wanted to see, how you were,” Peter starts, because that is true -- and he couldn’t sit around and wait for a few more months to see if he was going to be alright, Peter figured he should at least come and see Harry, to make sure he’s alright. “I just -- I was worried about you,” Peter says, because he figures it’s better if he’s honest with Harry about all of this.

[apparentheir-archived-deactivat]

@balancesoflight

    ROYALTY - NORMALITY. Harbouring a secret for this long takes a lot of practice , Ben likes to think he’s got it handled. He’d been fifteen when he’d found out he was the heir to a country he’d only ever visited during summer holidays. After his parents divorce when Ben was five , he’d moved to New York with his father. The reason for this arrangement had been unknown to him for years. He’d see his mother during the holiday’s , they’d often stay at his grandmothers chateau in France but would occasionally stay at a hotel in Alderaan during special occasions. HE’D BECOME ACCUSTOMED TO THIS. However when he’d turned fifteen his entire world had been turned upside down.     LIFE IS HARDLY EVER SIMPLE. You didn’t have to be a prince to figure that out but Ben had lived quite the normal life up until his fifteenth birthday. His father owned a garage and whilst money wasn’t always stable in their house they made it work. From an early age Ben had learned his father wasn’t the most put together person. SO HE’D STARTED LEAVING REMINDERS ON LITTLE POST IT NOTES ; TAKE OUT THE TRASH ! YOU HAVE THAT CAR TO WORK ON NEXT WEEK ! TEACHER PARENT CONFERENCE! , little stuff like that. Ben had become used to it, it was just the way things worked and there were times when he did miss his mother ; but it wasn’t as if they’d ever had the closest bond.     Ben was all Han had so the thought of leaving New York had never crossed his mind. High school had been hell for Ben and the added pressure of having to keep a massive secret had not helped. THERE HAD BEEN ONE SAVING GRACE , SHE WHO STILL DID NOT KNOW THE TRUTH. Or so he had thought. Rey. They’d grown up next door to each other. Hell , half the time he could swear she lived with them. His best friend , his confidant and someone he’d been in love with since the third grade ; okay so there were two secrets she wasn’t aware of. SHE’D MADE THINGS BEARABLE. 

    They were even now attending the same college together , close to the loft where Ben lived it was within walking distance. College was a different kind of hell. Ben was at least five years older than a lot of the students in his class. HE’D REQUIRED a little more help over the years , highschool being a hellish environment for him. Sometimes he felt like he was out of the loop , or even excluded because he wasn’t in the same age group. HE SPENT A LOT OF TIME WISHING HE WAS INVISIBLE. Again , Rey was his saving grace.    The sun has risen and he has three hours before class and so his schedule begins. Unknown to Ben his face is currently splashed all over the new york times. HE FEEDS CHEWBACCA , their cat , makes breakfast for his father who once again had passed out on the couch and then washes and dresses. IT WAS A FRIDAY ; his favourite day of the week as it meant two days without having to force himself through classes. He’s doing the dishes when the usual knock sounds throughout the loft. “I GOT IT!.” And maybe he yells just a little to startle his father who’s only now just waking up and beginning to eat his toast. A smirk plays upon his lips.

    Nothing could prepare him however , for what was waiting behind that door. It’s Rey , of course is it. Ten o’clock as always. It’s what she has in her hand that throws everything sideways. HE CATCHES A GLIMMER OF HIS OWN FACE , staring back at him.                                                                                “What the hell?.”

[balancesoflight-blog]

Rey’s never been late to class, and she isn’t about to change that about her now. Though Finn will always tease her she’s ‘trying too hard’ with her grades, but Rey is in her third year -- so it’s something he has to get used to by now. “It’s too early,” Finn mumbled when Rey woke him up at seven thirty -- having already been awake for an hour, trying to get him up when he made her promise she’d get him up before she left to meet Ben. “You wanted me to wake you up,” Rey tells him, putting a mug of homemade coffee on the table beside him before she went out the door. It’s a little before nine thirty when she leaves her apartment, needing to get up a little early and put a few finishing touches on her applications for internships at local hospitals. Being a medical student, Rey was finding, isn’t easy -- but she tells herself it’s all part of the process of getting to where she wants to be in her career as a surgeon. But she doesn’t focus on that too long, going into the coffee shop on her way to Ben’s -- ordering his usual, along with her own as the barista hands her a tray with three drinks on it, one for Han. Ever since Rey can remember -- Ben’s been there. Growing up, her parents weren’t around very often -- more likely than not at the local casino or bar, drinking and not coming home until the early hours of the morning, which is why Rey found being in Ben and Han’s house so comforting. They didn’t treat her like she was invisible, and she felt at ease with them -- but mostly with Ben, who didn’t treat Rey as if she was some sort of hinderance to him. For as long as she can remember, Ben’s been there. And Rey wouldn’t want anyone else in her life. Having him next door made it that much easier to come over whenever things were bad, when the days were long or the nights when she was home alone and Han would feed her dinner, the three of them sitting at the table and her eyes trailing to the post-it notes with Ben’s familiar handwriting on them for his father, reminders and the like. Ben hasn’t always had the easiest time -- but Rey’s been there for him, much like he’s been there for her over the years with her absent parents. They both were never in a state of judgement with each other, but more so a place of respect and friendship -- though it wasn’t until her last year of high school did Rey realize she might have feelings that are more than friendship. Ben’s in college now, Rey in medical school herself -- but Ben’s still in her life, and Rey still hasn’t told him how she feels about him. “You have to eventually, you know,” Finn always tells her whenever Ben leaves after coming over, and Rey hates that he’s right. What if she tells Ben she’s in love with him -- and she loses him and their friendship? Rey’s terrified of losing him, and equally as terrified he doesn’t feel the same way. She hears a few people talking loudly with one another in the coffee shop and it’s not until Rey sees what it is they’re talking about that she stops, her eyes widening. It’s a copy of the New York Times, which isn’t anything new -- Rey’s been reading the paper for as long as she can remember, but it’s the story on the front page that stops her in her tracks. It’s a picture of Ben -- clearly printed with the words ‘An Undercover Prince in New York: What You Need to Know’. Rey’s throat feels tight, blinking as her eyes scan the article. He’s a prince, Ben’s a prince. Her first question is: is this true? Followed by a second which as, did Ben know? Because if he knew -- that meant he hadn’t told her, which Rey knows hurts her more than it should. She makes her way to Ben’s apartment with Han, hearing his voice as he goes to answer the door. Rey pauses, and it’s mere seconds before Ben sees the newspaper in her hand as she takes a step inside the apartment. “Is it true?” Rey asks, handing him the article. Her voice isn’t sharp or angry -- she just wants to know the truth, from Ben, trying to keep her voice from shaking as she speaks now, her tone gentle now as she speaks, looking at him. “Are you -- are you a Prince, Ben?”

[wasomething-a-deactivated201904]

         “kind of early to be heading out to school, yeah?” dustin is not the kind of person that needs to be getting into other people’s business, because he’s got far too much of his own to deal with. he just can’t help it! peter parker is such a weird kid, and when you yourself are a weirdo, it’s kind of hard not to notice things like that. like being out around four in the morning (or, somewhere around there. he hadn’t had the chance to check a clock), when school didn’t actually start until eight. 

         there’s a small little shrug of his shoulders, sure that peter wouldn’t give an actual answer. dustin wouldn’t give one if he were to be asked, either. “you are kind of a nerd. just didn’t take you for this big of one.” // @balancesoflight ; liked this.

[balancesoflight-blog]

Peter’s lived next door to Dustin his entire life, and he can’t say he’s ever had more than a two minute conversation with him in all those years; not that Peter blames that on Dustin at all, they simply don’t run in the same social circles. Dustin has never shown any interesting in the same courses Peter takes or decathlon teams, so they don’t exactly see each other often aside from being neighbours. So when he heads out a little before seven in the morning Peter startles, hearing a voice as he turns around to see Dustin -- the weight of his Spider-Man suit in his backpack. “I, uh -- have some things to do before my chemistry lab is due today,” Peter lies, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. As the word nerd leaves Dustin’s lips Peter scrunches up his features, looking back at him. “Why are you out here so early?” he asks in return, not wanting to stay too long on the nerd comment himself. It’s not as if he can just outright tell Dustin he’s Spider-Man, and he needs to go out and make sure people are safe before he heads off to school. “There’s nothing wrong with nerds, either,” Peter adds, as if this helps his case -- when in reality it doesn’t at all.

[zedayacoleman]

[balancesoflight-blog]

@xmenageriie

[osbcrned-aa-deactivated20200407]

      { @balancesoflight​ }  //  PETER PARKER.

    → PETER IS THE LAST PERSON THAT HARRY expects to see when he opens his door.

    The soft knock is what rouses him; he’s half passed-out on his sofa, a bottle of water CRUSHED beneath his left thigh, a glass of scotch cradled carefully within the opposite hand. What’s a little day drinking between a man and his dog ? Lilo’s head lifts before Harry’s does; her eyes are trained towards the door, then flicker to him- he sighs heavily, but he knows he should get it. It could be someone important. Like a doctor, coming to tell him EVEN WORSE news. That wouldn’t be much of a surprise.

    Harry rubs his eyes as he pulls his sweater sleeves down, making his way to the door with the husky close at his heels. His hand on the knob isn’t hesitant- he isn’t expecting anyone special, nor does he have any FRIENDS; this is his thought, of course, before seeing PETER PARKER.

    His eyes blank in a stare that can only be described as ‘frozen and confused,’ & he doesn’t know how to REACT. His first feeling is a knot of immeasurable guilt lodged between his stomach and lungs, threatening to make him gag; his face PALES slightly, but it’s almost unnoticeable beneath the patches of damage his disease has already wrought. When he speaks, it’s instinctive; he STUTTERS.

          – “ HI, PETER. ” –

    It’s monotone- entirely TOO CASUAL for what he wants to say- all of the DISCARDED apologies & explanations he wants to give, but CANNOT. Not right now. Instead he stares blankly at his former friend, swallows tensely, & SPEAKS AGAIN. 

          – “ WHAT … WHAT’S UP ? ” –

[balancesoflight-blog]

Peter feels like he hasn’t properly had a moment to himself in weeks, but between the suit and work and trying to get a chance to see Harry, he’s feeling as though he’s being worn thin. Peter tries to catch his breath, making his way to where he knows Harry’s staying -- his heart pounding.  If they had seen each other more in the past few weeks -- Peter wouldn’t have even knocked, more than likely simply walking into the room to talk to Harry, but things aren’t... like that anymore, not how they used to be for the two of them.  Peter doesn’t say anything right away, instead seeing the surprise on Harry’s face as he pauses for a few moments, eyes tracing the familiar features -- knowing all of the tension and unspoken things between them are heavy now, weighted between them. He runs a hand through his hair, wondering and worrying if Harry’s going to tell him to leave -- tell Peter he doesn’t want to see him. “Hey, Harry,” Peter says after a moment, exhaling sharply -- partly from how long it took him to get here, swinging through the city and also at the nerves and uncertainty settling in his stomach. Peter chews his lower lip -- a nervous habit he’s had since he was a young boy, taking a careful step inside the door now. “I, uh --” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “came to see how you were doing,” he continues, the air between the two of them heavy with unsaid things. “I haven’t -- we haven’t -- it’s been a while, Harry,” Peter finally settles on saying, glancing over toward Lilo before his eyes trail back to Harry now.

[balancesoflight-blog]

raptorraised‌:

Parker:

Owen had been working on the design of what Peter had called a “shed” for days now. It was meant to be part tool shed, part workshop, part storage place for all the water related equipment he owned. Canoes, fishing gear, the whole nine. It was no where near done and this was just the bare bones of it too—But this was not his first rodeo. 

He’s already on edge as is, he doesn’t need someone breathing down his neck telling him what he’s doing wrong. The pencil that was in his hand is tossed aside in frustration and he throws his hands up exasperatedly. 

“I don’t need this.” He says in a huff. “I don’t. I really don’t. What, do you think I don’t know how to build a shed? This is not the first time I’ve done something like this, that’s for sure. It’s a blue print, it’s a guideline and I’m not done yet! I know how to build a roof so kindly step off.”  

Peter knows he’s overstepping, because he used to do it with Uncle Ben. Whenever he’d be frustrated -- looking over something from work in the kitchen, Peter could hear him mumbling to himself and tossing pencil’s and pen’s across the room all night long, much to Aunt May’s unhappiness of finding so many of them along the kitchen floor the next morning. Peter pauses, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches Owen throw the pencil in his hand and raise his arms, Peter silently braces himself for what he knows will be the angry rant that’s about to follow. Peter bites his lower lip -- trying to hold back a small, amused smile as he raises his hands, trying to show he isn’t going to say or do anything else. “I’m not doubting you, dude,” he tells Owen with a small shrug, “I’m just trying to help, you know?” Peter adds, taking a small step back from the table.

[balancesoflight-blog]

xmenageriie‌:

🕷 — MICHELLE

“Ah, come on, MJ. You could’a thought of something better than that.” The heels of his palms ground into his eyes, but it did nothing aside from alleviate some of the pressure behind his forehead. His mounting embarrassment lingered, as did the color in his cheeks — which, after hearing her say his name, doubled in intensity.

His hands pulled away with her prompting, but it took him more than a handful of seconds to muster up his bravado and look her square in the eyes. He expected to see that teasing smile and to hear her poke fun at how flustered he was, but he saw something so rare and so different than her usual snarkiness that it tossed aside the majority of his shame.

Peter didn’t want to be seen as the type that fooled around. He could bounce and swing from one point to another as Spider-Man, but he couldn’t do the same as Peter Parker when it came to women. It felt wrong; if anything, despite being who he was, he wanted commitment. He daydreamed about it, in fact. Not as often as some people, but every once and a while he would catch a glimpse of a couple sitting on their sofa while he swung by and wonder what it might be like to have that very sense of comfort, to have absolutely certainty that there was someone out there that loved him.

And when he did imagine it, he saw her.

To hear her stammer and sputter, not knowing how he might react to the possibility hurt — but only because he blamed himself for that. He wasn’t an expert at hiding how he felt. Trying to impress her during high school, sneaking longing glances at her whenever the two were able to meet between busy school hours and these quick-as-a-flash moments when their want for one another became too much and they had to kiss. Yet he still never said it aloud. He never told her that he liked her, and that was all thanks to his growing fear that saying so might endanger her.

But if it meant she wouldn’t doubt the chance, then he knew he had to say something to reassure her.

“No, hey —— Why wouldn’t I want to? I mean, you’re.  .  . you’re askin’ to be my girlfriend, right?” He paused and swallowed hard. “I’m not reading this wrong, am I? ‘Cause that’s gonna be real embarrassing. Like, way more embarrassing than what just happened.”

Michelle makes a face, glancing over toward Peter now as she takes in a deep breath. “I can’t lie to her, Peter. She knows everything -- I don’t know how how she does it, but she does, and you know she -- knows what was -- going on,” Michelle says, the embarrassment clear in her tone as she speaks now, pushing some hair behind her ear. She can feel the embarrassment between them still in the air, and she understands why. As Peter’s hands pull away Michelle holds them gently, playing with his fingers as she pinches her lips together. They’re swollen -- from kissing Peter for a few, long minutes as she feels the worry building inside of her, her chest tight with it as she tries to calm herself down -- anchoring herself in the feeling of Peter’s warm, familiar fingers. Michelle isn’t exactly someone who goes around kissing people just because she can. She’s always been wanting to be sure that they’re feeling the same way she is -- probably after watching her father leave her mother Michelle wants to make absolute sure they feel the same way she does. And with Peter -- Michelle can picture the two of them together so easily, so effortlessly intertwining their lives together with one another that she doesn’t even consider them to be anything casual, but she doesn’t know how Peter feels. A part of her has always allowed herself the smallest bit of hope, the tiniest idea that Peter could feel the same way she does. All throughout high school and well into their college years now, Michelle lets herself hope he feels the same way. Maybe it’s foolish, she doesn’t know, but she wants to let herself hope and think that the two of them could be a possibility. She listens to Peter, her hands shaking slightly now as she grips his hands gently in response, trying to keep herself steady. “I -- yeah,” she answers, forcing herself to look at him as she runs her tongue along her lower lip. “We’ve been -- I don’t know, we’ve been hanging out more and -- kissing -- a lot more, so I thought?” she pauses for a moment, trying to find the right words.  Peter had asked if Michelle was asking to be his girlfriend, but he didn’t confirm or deny if he wanted her to be save for the ‘why wouldn’t I want to be?’. “Do you want me to be your girlfriend?” Michelle finally gets the courage to ask, her eyes tracing Peter’s features in a worried panic, “because I want to be -- I want to be your girlfriend,” she confirms, exhaling slowly and waits for his response now.  She knows Peter’s life is... chaotic, most of the time, but Michelle wants the two of them to give this a chance, at least. See if they can make it work for the two of them.

[balancesoflight-blog]

hi friends! so i’m going away to disney with some of my friends starting tomorrow, so i’m not sure how much i’ll be on -- but if you want my discord and we’re mutuals, let me know and we can chat and plot, etc. love you all!