F1 is the perfect hyperfixation bc it has everything you could ever hyperfixate on, all in one: neurodivergent celebrities, statistics, complicated interpersonal relationships, rumours, eighty years of history, cool vehicles that go zoom, rivalry between teams you have to swear allegiance to, travel, homosexual tendencies, betrayal, data analysis, and fanfiction. what more could you even ask for??
@darkisms wanted to learn more about Artturi, so I’m guessing I’m sharing that with you all
• somewhere between 30 & 40
• finnish
• got his degree in California
• worked for the nfl, mostly the colts (that’s why Oscar got so huge)
• I’m 100% sure he was handpicked by Kim
• mark talked in a podcast about them: Artturi lives next door and he is as introvert as Oscar. Mark said sometimes they just communicate with gazes and one word sentences and that scares him
• he is single (I guess)
• he is a really really proud man (wearing Oscar’s cap, cheering for him in spa, THE handshake where Oscar went for him first, Artturi hugging the team and lifting them up when Oscar wins)
• so I’m guessing he is feeding a praise kink we didn’t know was there
• in general he seems to be really motivational (jogging with Osc etc)
• he is ALWAYS there? And I mean always. The Monaco sport thing last year, vacay in Australia, the bbq dumb from Austin last year - he basically committed his whole life to Oscar
• again .. living next door. For WHAT?
• he is specialised in lower limb mobility (think what you want about that)
oscar is kinda obsessed with lando's huge dick. it starts as just normal banter between lads, you know? everybody's going around slapping each other on the dick in the paddock. but oscar just can't shake the feeling of it from the back of his hand. it must feel so different, to go through life so well-endowed that it's absolutely impossible not to notice it. he just wants to know, for the sake of comparison, how it would feel in his palm. luckily, lando's not shy about it and is willing to satisfy oscar's curiosity. but secretly he's obsessed with oscar's small dick, too, though he's afraid oscar will be too embarrassed about it to return the favour of satisfying lando's curiosity.
(prompt inspired by the premise of @mitchmatchedsocks's get cocky which mitch generously allowed to apply to other fandoms too and i feel like you would've been the right fit for it considering the piercing fic and i know this ask game and prompts in general are meant to be shorter but i'm not so good with my words to make it succinct so i'm sorry if this is too excessive)
i wish you would write a fic where...
thank you for this! don't worry about it being a long prompt hehe, it's a fun idea and i'm always down for landick and lil oscock :) here's a drabble that's somehow 1.5k, enjoy
It's not that Oscar's gay. He's at least seventy per cent sure that he's not; he's had plenty of sex with women, and it's all been - well, mostly been good. Great, in some circumstances. And he's just never really seen men in that way, honestly - there was that one time at boarding school, but. That was nothing, really. Everyone was doing it.
It didn't mean anything.
But - he's willing to admit that it at least seems a little gay that he can't stop thinking about his teammates cock.
At first, he tries to tell himself that it's only natural. Human instinct; curiosity, if anything. It's no secret that Lando's packing something distinctly sizeable down there, and Oscar's never seen anything above seven inches. Not in real life, anyway - porn is something else altogether, but he doesn't really think that counts as real life.
It just makes sense, that he'd be interested to see it up close and personal, find out for himself exactly what that looks like. If it's as intimidating as he suspects it'll be.
If it's as hot as he thinks it might be.
And yeah, that's... that's less easy to explain away with the curiosity angle. That, and the fact that he's been thinking about how Lando's dick might look in his hand -
Well.
Oscar might be a little gay.
-------------------
Turns out, there's really no easy way to ask your teammate if you can look at his dick.
For once, there isn't even a Reddit thread that might help, and that tells Oscar everything he needs to know about his situation and how unique it is, really.
Lando's the one that brings it up, more perceptive than anyone ever wants to give him credit for. He's collapsed into the sofa in Oscar's drivers room in a position that can't possibly be good for his back, his spine a question mark and his shoulders curved upwards towards his face. Tapping away on his phone, fully immersed in whatever it is - or at least Oscar thinks he is, until Lando looks over the top of it, brow raised as he catches Oscar staring at him.
Fuck.
Oscar coughs awkwardly, scratching at the heat creeping up the side of his neck, looking away far too quickly to pretend he wasn't looking at all.
"Osc," Lando says lazily, waiting until Oscar looks at him again before he continues. He's smirking, the bastard. "What's going on with you? Been weird all weekend, mate."
Mate.
Oscar can't figure out whether that makes it better or not - being Lando's mate. Like, is it okay to want to see a mate's dick because you're mates? Or is it weirder?
He reckons it's probably pretty weird whichever way you slice it.
"Nothing, just," he feels himself flush, toes curling against the soles of his trainers. "Remember that ice bath, a few years back?"
And that really wasn't where he'd thought he was going. He sort of wants to crawl into a hole and die, especially from the incredulous expression Lando is wearing now; looking at Oscar like he's gone a bit mad.
He might've, actually.
"You said," Oscar can't seem to stop himself from barreling forward, even as every neuron in his body screams at him to stop. "Just - like, about losing inches. With the ice."
He knows he isn't making any sense, and his voice is coming out all strained and awkward, and it really would be the best for everyone involved if someone could come along and knock him out cold. Immediately.
"Right," Lando's clearly still confused, but there's a touch of amusement to it now. "My cock?"
There's a noise, strangled and almost like a moan and Oscar is mortified, suddenly, to realise that it came from him. He clears his throat, an awful attempt to cover it up that he knows Lando sees right through, from the way his smirk bleeds across his face, lazy and easy.
"You been thinking about my cock this whole time, Osc?" He tuts. "That's dirty."
Oscar shakes his head. "No, I - it's not like that."
Because he hasn't.
Only for the last like - two weeks or so. When he'd given Lando a taste of his own medicine, swiping at his dick in the paddock and feeling a lot more than he'd bargained for in the process.
Jesus. He realises, with a sinking feeling, that Lando's dick is pretty much the only thing he's thought about other than F1 for a fortnight, at least.
That's got to constitute as more than a little gay, right?
"If you want to see it," Lando's saying, drawing Oscar out of his mildly panicked thoughts for a moment. "You only have to ask."
"Well," Oscar tries to keep his voice level, all too aware of the tremor in it. His throat feels dry, devoid of any liquid, voice cracking down the middle. "Can I, then?"
it seems to take Lando by surprise even though he just said it, and Oscar feels that wave of anxiety cresting again, settling into every nook of his body. He holds his body tense, waiting for Lando to call him a freak, to tell him he was only joking, but -
"Yeah, alright," Lando blinks at him.
And Oscar can work with that.
"Gotta see if you were lying, haven't I? About the size."
A flimsy excuse, and one that he knows Lando sees right through. But Lando chuckles anyway, accepts it like he could possibly believe it, and then he's folding his body up and out of the sofa, large hands coming to his waistband.
Oscar doesn't realise he's been holding his breath until Lando's stepping out of his shorts - and of course he'd be going commando, Oscar wants to scream - and it leaves him in a ragged rush of air, so intense it's almost painful.
Even soft, Lando's dick is big.
It hangs between his legs, heavy and long and thick; rising from a thatch of neatly trimmed curls. It's as dark as the rest of Lando's golden body, and huh. Oscar didn't expect that, really, but he supposes it makes sense. The head is just poking down, pink and soft, and Oscar could almost swear that he can see Lando filling up right in front of him, like he's turned on by Oscar looking.
He shouldn't be surprised. Lando's always been an exhibitionist - Oscar just didn't know until now how far that went.
"Can I," he breathes, stepping closer, fingers flexing at his side. He bites his lip, thinks about leaving and running, but he's come this far, hasn't he? What's one more step? "Can I touch it?"
The breath Lando releases is half groan, and yeah, he's definitely turned on now. Oscar's mouth opens with a wet pop at the sight of Lando's hardening length, the way it gets bigger - it shouldn't be possible, he thinks wildly. It's already easily the biggest dick he's ever seen outside of porn.
And it's real. And here.
"Yeah," Lando sounds strained now, his jaw tight. "Go on, then."
It isn't that different from touching his own dick, really, except that Oscar can't feel it like that. He can barely get his hand around Lando, and he extends well past the loose curl of his fingers, up further than Oscar's palm can reach and - Oscar's always known he's got small hands, as far as men's hands go. But seeing it like this - Lando's cock only half covered, his fingers stretching around the girth of it.
"Fuck," Lando groans.
Oscar feels him pulse in his hand.
"Yeah," he agrees, feeling light-headed, eyes still trained down.
"What about you?" Lando says breathlessly.
When Oscar looks up, Lando gestures towards the front of Oscar's shorts, where he's just barely tenting the front of them and shit. He hadn't even realised how turned on he was, but it's clear - as clear as it can be, given. Well.
"This is fine," he says hurriedly, face hot. "We don't have to -"
"I want to," Lando curls his fingers around Oscar's waist, digits dipping just beneath the waistband of his shorts. Dangerous. Tempting. "Come on, show me."
It's too tempting. Oscar feels seconds away from giving in, but the truth - the embarrassment of it all - it's enough to have him leaning back, hand still firmly attached to Lando.
"I'm not -. It's -," he swallows, teeth digging into his lower lip, unable to meet Lando's gaze. "You're, like. A lot bigger."
Lando snorts, though it doesn't sound like he's laughing at Oscar, at least.
"Well, yeah, Osc, I usually am."
Fair.
Oscar sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. "A lot bigger than me, Lando."
There's quiet, a silence that stretches. He can't bring himself to open his eyes, not until he feels Lando's fingers tighten against his skin; his dick twitching drily against Oscar's palm.
A sound that could almost be a moan.
He cracks his eyes open, heart racing at the sight before him. Lando, looking at him with hunger in his eyes, like he's seeing Oscar for the first time, in a totally new light. Something almost predatory lingers in his gaze as he steps forward, completely unashamed in his nudity; his tongue flicking at the corner of his mouth, catching Oscar's attention mercilessly.
"Show me," Lando's voice sounds gruff, injected with an arousal he can't possibly fake. "I want to see."
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