Stardust

[banana-cha-cha]

Good day will come someday 🫂

[banana-cha-cha]

Will they disappear? The future that I imagine long, long ago Like the dreams I had every day Will it be forgotten? Like the earnest promise made on two little fingers

Things I loved, things that keep disappearing Will I eventually get used to it? I'm still the same But the gaze on me seems to have changed What should I do?

Don't worry Your world embraces you so strongly I know that Even if it seems like you're the same Little by little you're moving forward

You are so beautiful when you blink Searching for shining stars in the dark universe

At the steps I took after so many hesitations I'll remember the two hands that held me

[banana-cha-cha]

Even though we loved each other

It is time we say good bye

Even when we are under the same sky but different places

Please don’t forget me

[banana-cha-cha]

The opposite of love is not separation.

Its indifference.

[banana-cha-cha]

And someday after a year or two

Maybe then, I won’t be loving you

[banana-cha-cha]

If time passes, I could pretend all this didn’t happen

For a moment I was crazy and thought that could be

It was love, it was love

Looking at it now, I had loved

Words and actions that weren’t like myself

My heart that ran wild on its own

It was love, it was love

There was something more precious than myself

[banana-cha-cha]

Is it a bad ending for us two, gone astray?

[banana-cha-cha]

I guess I am not that strong of a person to just pretend nothing affects me. Every single thing affects me and it attacks my brain and it’s excruciating.

I need to take care of myself.

[banana-cha-cha]

너는 사람을 슬프게 하는거 왜 이렇게 좋아하니? 재밌니?재밌겠지 ㅋ 나는 늘 슬프고 그리워하고 너를 동경하고 있는데

너한테는 그거 다 재밌는거지?

[banana-cha-cha]

하이

오늘 뭐했어? 좋은 하루 보내길 바랄게

요즘은 별일 없지?

나도 뭐 그럭 저럭

다른게 아니고

그냥 네 생일 축하해주고 싶은거야

ㅎ

그럼! 기억하지

4년 동안 너만 좋아했는데 이건 기본이지 ㅎㅎ

생일 축하해

나이 들어서 별로 신나지 않겠네 그치?

근데 있잖아

이 세상에서는 너의 존재를 감사한 사람들 많을걸?

나도 포함이야

소중한 사람아

태어나서 너를 만나서 너랑 친하게 지내서 너를 사랑하게 되서

난 그 모든거 정말 감사한 일이야

넌 모르지?

모를거야 넌 바보 멍청이잖아 ㅋ

그러니까 내가 바라는 것은

이 날 만큼은 그 소중한 사람들 다 떠얼리며

감사한 마음으로 네 생일을 축하해줘

나는 아무것도 못하니까

이 글 남길게

“사랑”이라는 단어는 내가 너에게 느끼는 감정보다 훨씬 더 복잡할지도 모르지만 그냥 이걸로 만족해야 할 것 같아

사랑해

나도 너를 많이 아끼고

지금까지 내 마음을 이렇게 붙잡는 사람은 너 밖에 없어

너도 나처럼 너 자신을 아껴주길 바래

이 글을 쓰는 동안 너로 인해 내 마음이 시려 ㅠ 이거 안돼는데

그날 이후 매일이 너를 있어야 할 곳으로 돌아 오는 작은 발걸음으로 가득 차 있기를 바래

사랑해

사랑해

사랑해

그날은 몇번이나 말했지만 아직 부족할까… 매일 이런 고민을 한다

보고싶어

아직도 슬프지만 난 열심히 살게

아프지말고

다치지말고

성처 받지말고

행복하게 살아

늘 응원할게

앞으로는 좋은 모습만 보여줘

생일 축하해 사랑아 💚🍀

[banana-cha-cha]

I thought…

I thought…

I thought…

At this point idek why I am thinking about this thing anymore

Why can’t life just be simpler

Or why can’t we just have a button to erase unwanted feelings

[banana-cha-cha]

I decided that it is better this way but

Why is letting go of something that are not even mine at the first place so excruciating?

Doing something more than what I initially did will probably be a burden

But doing nothing at all is painful

I can only do what I do all the time

Holding it in 🙂

[banana-cha-cha]

If there is one song that can explain the whole thing on my current love life, it is this song.

Just promise me you’ll always be a friend, cause you are the only one

[banana-cha-cha]

I know

I know very well how it will turn out

And yet…

[banana-cha-cha]

I told you

I repeatedly told you

In silence

Where no one can hear me

But I finally gathered up all of my courage to increase the volume of my voice just a little bit

And hoping that you feel it

[banana-cha-cha]

People may say that what I am feeling right now is not what an adult should feel but I really don’t give a f because I am an adult and I want to feel what I want to feel

I am feeling so shitty and upset and hurt and sad and i don’t know I want to name all feelings that are the opposite of happy

I noticed that whenever I went out of home for days (be it with friends, family, or anyone except when I’m out for training when I was in college), I will be a sensitive little bitj and will bring the mood down. And I am trying to fix this bad habit of mine

But I don’t think I will be going out of home with other people for days in near future except when i don’t have any choice but to go (and with the chosen people that I’ve listed down)

I want to remind myself of this feeling so that I will not make a rash decision (again) in the future

I am feeling upset and sad that I cried a little when I am in the middle of one of the best historical exhibition that I’ve seen all my life. I don’t know if that was because I was empathizing with the people who saved our country back then but I kinda know that it was because of a mixed emotions. I am feeling extremely sad and upset when I got home that I bawl my eyes out after I prayed.

The words that I want to tell is that

같이 좀 가주지

같이 좀 재밌게 해주지

난 만만해서 그런거야?

진짜 나쁘다

속상하다 진짜

The conclusion is ^^ㅗ

[banana-cha-cha]

Hunter Prosper on Instagram: "Every stranger has a story, let’s start listening <3"

Hunter Prosper shared a post on Instagram: "Every stranger has a story, let’s start listening <3". Follow their account to see 160 posts.

I don’t know how to explain what I feel for this one person but I came across this reel earlier today and look what I found? The accurate explanation on my feelings. This hurts my heart so much. Hope I can tell this person soon because I do think that the pain from rejection is more bearable than the pain from regret