op loves to eat pussy @bannsi - Tumblr Blog

realised i have not posted anything here in months.... oh the developments and updates i have

feel like i need to dump the 30+ posts i have about him from my drafts into a post under a read more, get some perspective and insight, and then DELETE that bitch

#im spiralling and nobody is helping

bannsi

man i really do love just getting myself into Situations huh

bannsi

MAN I REALLY DO LOVE JUST GETTING MYSELF INTO SITUATIONS HUH

about to drop the most tragic group of pictures ever on yall but its taking me a while to build up to it

shitidol

#MEEEEEEEEE

is this a vibe or do i look insane honest answers only

#im talking about the way the bandana is

going for work drinks with people for the first time 😊

remembering what im like when i get drunk 😟

#gonna have to try soooo hard to be normal #if i fuck up ill just quit

bannsi

HAHAHAHA she sent me a voice note saying that im one of the most important people in her life and that shes glad weve gotten so close and i literally teared up like we really are in it now huh

bannsi

so anyway uhhh. shes getting married next month to someone who isnt me. so sorry past me but :/

#thats the update!#when i told my wrk bestie he was like 'you know what you have to do now'#'you have to get pregnant just to get back at her'#like he GETS ir

straight guy work bestie is back from his holiday so now its time to update him on every piece of gay drama ive had in my life in the past two and a half weeks

#gotta update yall later too #its a doozy!

posting this so i can look back in a few weeks and reevaluate the situation but. either there has been a massive shift inside me, or im manic. cannot make a realistic assessment yet but im sure my future self will be able to reflect and conclude accordingly.

#who can never be sure !

bannsi

first paycheck doesnt hit my account until the end of july, i only have 60euro to last me until then, AND my only pair of shoes just fell apart

bannsi

little update for you guys, im not getting paid until the END of AUGUST. have been eating next to nothing this month (a piece of bread for breakfast and then some plain couscous/rice for my other meal) thinking that i would be dining like a king in like two weeks but fuck it we ball i guess

#also thank you to anon if you see this but im all good with the shoes my friend gave me an old pair #dunno what im gonna do about rent but ill figure it out

i hate sitting at home alone because it takes maybe four hours before im spiralling because my brain just BOMBARDS me with the worst thoughts and feelings ever

#lately its been on a loop about how im unloveable and keeps playing back all the times people have told me that #and how ive never been loved and probably never will be #and how i cant show love because i dont know how #and all i want is for someone to hold me but that hasnt happened in many years and probably never will again #i wanna kms bro fr like i dont know how to carry on my whole life without ever being loved

first paycheck doesnt hit my account until the end of july, i only have 60euro to last me until then, AND my only pair of shoes just fell apart

#cant believe im gonna have to ask my friends to borrow SJOES for WORK this is so embarrassing #im so glad i took care of rent already but the six month back payment on my rent increase for this year kicked my ASS #i considered buying a cheap pair but I cannot find a pair here that i could afford that wouldnt necessitate starving myself for a large #portion of july #and my job is physical i need nutrients lmao #FUCK why couldnt they have waited one more month

in other life news im starting a new job in like two weeks! getting that sweet swedish salary

neolesbian

mcu fans when they leave a multiverse of popcorn for me to clean up

#when i worked in a cinema and after mcu films would have to wear gloves bc people would piss in the paper cups and shit in popcorn buckets #GOOD TIMES

i hate being aware of my issues and i think it makes them worse actually. at least when the thoughts i had about being unloveable were subconscious i was still getting some. now i am painfully aware of why i feel unloveable and have to sit with that knowledge while my hymen grows back. tragique.

#i am soooo lonely i am sooooooooo alone #need someone to care about me PLEASE

god i wish i wasnt so fucking suicidal right now because i know im not going to do anything about it but with that comes knowing that im just going to feel like this until i dont anymore. wanting to kill yourself and knowing you wont HORRIBLE combination would not wish it on anybody

#despair eating me up inside and im not even able to die about it GOD

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op loves to eat pussy