not real @banxnabrain - Tumblr Blog

banxnabrain

δεν με ενδιαφέρει η γνώμη σου και δεν θέλω να με θυμάσαι.

lharotto

do you actually not like reciving gifts or did you just grow up being told how expensive it was to raise you?

and now, anytime anyone spends any money on you,you fell guilty

a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

Parents will say something so devastating to you but will forget they ever said it. Meanwhile I can’t form emotional connections with anyone because of what she said to me

ashtonisrottting

it's so funny how not being loved by my mother gave me a murderous rage whilst not being loved by my father gave me a clingy ass and an amazing sense of humor

thoughts-of-a-caterpillar

Like my mother

I need to be beautiful like my mother.

She's the most beautiful woman to have ever lived. But no one knows that except me because no one else has the same wounds as her like I do which can carry the entire truth of her existence. No one else has cried when she cried, bled when she bled, died when she died.

No one else has inherited her rage.

No one else has inherited her grief.

No one else has inherited her bloodlust.

Except me

So I need to be beautiful like her too.

I'll paint my lips to hide the crimson stains of spitting my own blood.

I'll darken my eyes to hide the bruises from nights spent with mania instead of rest.

I'll pluck out every imperfection in my brow until it no longer furrows for men who do not deserve it.

I'll put kajal on my waterline so whoever makes me cry has to see me in all my horrifying anger.

I'll powder up my cheeks to hide the tears my father never dried and put lotion on the skin that holds the scars from wounds I was too young to heal.

Like my mother did.

Because I need to be beautiful like my mother.