DISSONANT WHISPERS.

my darling, the devil knows my name.

[bardicwine]

#bardicwine : a lesson of how to be resilient while also relying on others. taught to paultin seppa. put together by kit.

carrd can be found here. ( this is a wip; for indies ! )

psd by seraephic. art by ana-arlene.

* this is an affiliated account !

[bardicwine]

hi friends! unformatted post since im on mobile lol but to explain my absence: i've been having a hell of a lot of pain, and the doctors are thinking it's something to do with cysts on my ovaries. unfortunately, because they screwed me over on actually figuring out what it is, i won't get any sort of answer for another month. so that, on top of the stress of school, i haven't had the time or energy to be here.

i don't know if i'll take a break from the group or just go on a hiatus just yet. but i figured i should let yall know of my radio silence. mwah ❤️

[moonmemes]

sleepy headcanon questions

😌 Does your muse take naps?

🏃 What position does your muse usually sleep in? E.g. curled up on their side, on their stomach, etc.

😔 Is your muse prone to nightmares?

🧸 Do they sleep holding anything? E.g. a pillow, a stuffed toy, etc.

📻 Do they sleep in silence or do they listen to something to help them sleep? If so, what do they listen to?

✨ Does your muse often dream? Are there any themes to their dreams or are they random?

😪 Are they an active sleeper? Do they sleepwalk, talk in their sleep, etc.?

💤 Do they snore or talk in their sleep?

🐦 Are they a night owl or an early bird?

⏰ How many hours of sleep do they need?

⏲️ How many hours of sleep do they actually get on average a night?

💕 Are they a cuddly sleeper or do they prefer their own space?

🐗 Do they hog all the covers?

🥄 Are they the big spoon or little spoon?

🛀 What does their bedtime routine look like?

🛏️ Are they the type to fall asleep anywhere or can they only sleep in their own bed?

💊 Do they take anything to help them sleep?

🩳 What do they wear to bed? Do they wear anything?

🌜 Does your muse like sleeping? Are they reluctant to go to bed or do they look forward to it?

🦠 How often do they change their bedding?

😴Is your muse a heavy or light sleeper?

👿 Has your muse ever suffered from sleep paralysis?

🌠 Does your muse find meaning in their dreams? Do they try to interpret them?

🔢 How many pillows do they prefer?

💏 Do they sleep better alone or when someone's with them?

💡 Do they sleep with the lights on or off?

😩 Do they suffer from insomnia?

[telekinesis-mind-control-comics]

[notmorbid]

crime and punishment, pt. 3.

dialogue prompts from crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky.

i speak plainly because i consider it dishonest to deceive you.

i hope you will be happy.

you keep on laughing, and very inappropriately.

how crude you still are.

you have only one idea in your head.

you are always thinking of someone unpleasant.

everything which is of use to mankind is 'honorable'.

say straight out what you want.

you're leading up to something again.

you meant it, yesterday?

why do you frighten me like this?

there is no one so unhappy as you.

why didn't i know you before?

why didn't you come before?

i'll follow you to siberia.

i've been talking nonsense a long time.

i haven't talked to anyone for so long.

low ceilings and tiny rooms cramp the mind.

you turned away from god and god has smitten me.

i am just such a louse as all the rest.

we will suffer together, and together we will bear our cross.

if you should need me, call me and i'll come.

i won't bow down to anyone.

lay me down. let me die in peace.

how does it go? i've forgotten.

you look and you listen, but you don't seem to understand.

what all men need is fresh air, more than anything.

i've simply come to swear at you.

you've never been mad. never.

i'm convinced of the purity of your heart.

if it's all a secret, never mind.

were you listening at the door?

why don't you speak?

tobacco is bad for you.

your door was wide open.

don't you lock your door?

a hundred suspicions can't make a proof.

don't put too much faith in words.

fling yourself straight into life with no deliberation. don't be afraid.

perhaps god is saving you for something.

if you ran away, you would come back to yourself.

what are you so afraid of?

there's no denying that you're brave.

i'm not a gossip. i won't tell anyone.

live, and live long. you will be of use to others.

why are you so fond of me if i don't deserve it?

i am a beggarly, contemptible wretch.

there's no knowing who's a gentleman and who isn't.

the more revolting, the better.

mere existence is too little for me. i have always wanted more.

isn't everything, now, bound to be changed?

[cinememed]

₍ 🎞 ₎   annihilation  (2018)  rp  starters  ! featuring mature themes . some lines have been slightly adjusted for rp purposes .

some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough.

almost all of us self-destruct. in some way, in some part of our lives.

these aren't decisions, they're... impulses.

i thought i was a person. i had a life. and now i'm not so sure.

i love seeing the moon in daytime.

so weird you say that. i was about to make the exact same point.

you know he's listening right now, don't you?

okay. mistakes were made.

i keep looking for you, but you never seem to be around.

all work and no play. it’s not healthy.

i thought you were gone – gone forever.

i get really turned on when you patronize me. it's really hot.

you think i come out into the garden, pining, looking up at the sky?

are you kidding me? what do you think i do when you’re away?

i deserve a better explanation than… no explanation.

i remembered you. i remembered your face.

you probably feel dreadful. queasy. a nasty metal taste in the mouth.

so let’s cut the shit – i’m done answering questions. it’s your turn.

i can’t talk about that. you understand.

you still haven’t told me anything about what’s going on or what i’m doing here!

it's impressive to have escaped. to this point at least.

the chances are zero if i don’t even try.

it’s not simply a question of your motivation. there are processes to observe.

i was thinking we should bond or something. considering we’re travel buddies.

you get used to it. you have to accept it, because it’s there.

this is not something you do if your life is in perfect harmony.

i’m done sleeping for the night.

i’ll do it alone, if need be. you simply decide whether you’re coming with me.

you’re saying we get out by going deeper in?

my secret? is that not our secret?

none of this is possible. but it is what’s happening.

it doesn’t just hurt us, and kill us. it changes us.

it’s not exactly the first time i’ve been in your bed, or you in mine.

you know it’s not me you hate. it’s yourself.

you’re wrong. but you’re also not interested hearing in the truth.

i can’t survive these injuries. you know that.

it’s a terrible thought. to die frightened and in pain.

please. don’t ask me to do this.

i had to know what it was. what was waiting. i had to know.

it’s going to annihilate us. that’s what it is. that’s what’s waiting.

[cassiaslair]

from i prevail's album, trauma ( 2019 ). slightly modified to fit dialogue prompts. if it's in parentheses, feel free to omit it.

bow down.

get on your knees & bow down.

i come alive, i'll survive, take on anything.

so paint a target on my back, let 'em come to me.

i'm on another level that you'll never reach.

if you seek forgiveness, you'll get nothing from me.

you will never know, it's the price i pay.

look into my eyes, we are not the same.

i'm in control, & you'll know my name.

i gave my life, gave it everything.

the best of your best ain't good enough.

keep running your mouth, & i'ma call your bluff.

so... i had this dream, it meant everything, & i watched it come alive.

i let you in, underneath my skin, & i learned to love the lies.

now i lay awake & i contemplate... have i become what i hate?

would you go to war? would you die for it?

paranoid.

something isn't right, i feel it in my bones.

every time i look around, it follows me home.

i get so stressed out when my head gets loud.

all this emptiness inside, i can't fill the void in my mind.

sometimes i just wanna die (wish that i could tell you why).

is it all inside my head?

i just can't escape the noise.

i think i'm paranoid.

every time you leave.

all i ever wanted was to find someone.

holding it together is the hardest part.

every time you leave, i lose a little piece of me.

every time we speak, words don't do it justice.

it's just us from here.

finishing the puzzle is the hardest part.

everyday wishin' you could stay, 'cause our minds may change, but our hearts remain.

i can't believe you gotta go away again.

if you ever start to hesitate & you feel the weight, it starts to break.

we're not the same; know that this means everything to me.

no one said life gets in the way.

rise above it.

i've been patiently waiting, tying my stomach in knots.

i've been lost in the moment, going to war with my thoughts.

if you're feeling the pressure, the pressure's all that i got.

so if you think you're ready, i'm here to tell you you're not.

you're in over your head.

i'll be damned if i ever let you get me again.

i will stop at nothing 'cause i was made to rise above it.

one of these days, everyone will know (but for now i stand alone).

i count my enemies like trophies.

i've got nothing left to prove.

when i look at you, all i see are trophies.

i'm not afraid to put it all on the line (like it runs in my veins).

you cannot stop me, so don't even try.

breaking down.

i think... i think too much.

i'm a little bit paranoid.

i think i'm breaking (down).

maybe it's in my blood.

hate every single second, minute, hour, every day.

everybody's out to get you.

every time they ask me, i just tell 'em that i'm fine.

i try to hide my demons, but they only multiply.

everybody fucking hates you.

i say i'm feeling hopeless, but no one's listening.

i don't really like myself.

DOA.

on our knees, we pray as we waste away.

we dig our grave, dead on arrival.

i close my eyes & contemplate on why i chose to be great.

i find myself trying to escape from where i'm supposed to be safe.

maybe i should pray like i'm supposed to be saved.

sometimes i feel like getting even, but i choose to behave.

i'm mentally locked in a prison (& i need bail).

i wish i was more flourished. i wish i had more courage.

i wonder if it's all worth it (i wonder...).

dead is the land of the free.

am i not worth saving?

gasoline.

let's burn it fucking down.

back from the dead to tell you that i'm alive.

killed the old way (but i survived).

fuck the blueprint.

death or exile, you decide.

tell 'em all that i made my name.

now it's mine to send up in flames.

this right here is as far as you go.

this right here is where i lose control.

burn it all down, i don't give a fuck.

fuck what they say, fuck everything.

kill it all (kill everything).

nothing but red inside when i close my eyes.

break or bow down, you decide.

tell 'em all that you can't be saved.

tell 'em all that you dug this grave.

learn to live in this mess you made.

hurricane.

tell me i was never good enough.

remind me of the demons that i've been running from.

tell me who the hell you thought i was.

just blame it on the person, the person i've become.

lately, i don't give a fuck.

i can't be myself when i'm with anyone.

(&) maybe, i'm already gone.

i'll never be the same.

it hit me like a hurricane.

i don't know why i drown my mind (in everything they say).

it got the best of me.

tell me that i'm lost inside my mind.

i reach out, but it's pulling me under.

remind me i've been searching for something i won't find.

tell me i was never worth the time.

just blame it on the person you think i left behind.

look into my eyes.

believe me that the storm is coming.

let me be sad.

i'm holding back right now.

('cause) i'm numb to what's around.

i miss the life i used to have (with you right here).

now everything is turning grey.

i'm blacking out the shades for now.

let me be sad.

let me be sad, even for a little while. just a chance to catch my breath.

let me be sad, even for a little while, 'cause it's all that i have left.

can you see it in my eyes, i've been distant?

i can't tell if it's the end or the beginning.

i know i haven't been myself, i'll admit it.

i put up walls so if i burned any bridges, just know i'm doing everything i can to try & fix it (but knowing me i'll probably miss it).

these voices get so vicious.

feels like i'm ripping stitches.

i wish some days i could go back (before life changed, it was so fast).

that time is gone, & i know that (so please, let me be sad).

when all i see are memories, i don't wanna lose a thing.

low.

i'm so damn low.

i can't lie, i'm falling (the floor gave out again).

the walls are caving in.

i've got these voices in my head.

i don't know why i'm broken.

my world is sinking in.

they tell me that i'm not enough.

is it my time?

even when i'm high, i still feel low.

voices in my head won't leave me alone.

i keep falling.

i'm in over my head again.

i'm on my own, i know it.

i think i'm too far gone to save.

i can't let go. i'm holding, i feel it slip away.

the more they say, the more they cut.

i'm hanging by a thread (don't know if i let go).

i'm doing everything i can to fix the problem.

this is how it feels when you hit rock bottom.

deadweight.

i'm cutting out the deadweight.

let me take a second to get this through to you.

it's time you get put in the rearview.

cut ties, there's nothing left to your lies, i'm seeing right through.

let me lay it out so it's clear for you to see.

i'm done with the ones that don't believe.

i'm cutting out the ones who drag me down.

all this negativity weighing down on me.

admit it's so pathetic to think i'd carry you.

i'd rather watch all the lows you sink to.

now i can see what you're really all about.

turn your back & run your mouth.

i laugh at all the time you wasted.

you're bitter, i can fucking taste it.

so if you think that you can drag me down, it's gonna come back around.

keep it up, motherfucker (i'll cut you out).

i don't belong here.

'cause i don't belong here.

those days, it was all i wanted.

nowadays, it feels all the same.

used to stare at my bedroom ceiling wishing everything would change.

now it's hard when you're always searching for the life that you left behind.

time disappears, year after year.

how the hell did i get here?

i feel so far away.

minutes turn to hours & the hours into days.

i gave up everything.

you don't know what you got until you throw it all away.

looking back on the past, all the time i wasted...

i'm running from everyone that tells me that i'm fading out.

must be mistaken 'cause i don't feel anything.

you know i got this brain, it drives me insane.

some days i feel i can't take the pain.

i can't explain it 'cause i don't need anything.

[dxahli]

[brokeassgoing]

Judging by the smug look in his eyes, Badou figures this guy knows this is the worst situation, and that he is NOT helping. He knows it and he's reveling in it.

Instead of answering right away, Badou groans again, tears springing to his single eye.

"What the hell did I do in a past life....? Did I spill hot chocolate on an Emperor's dick or something?" It certainly has nothing to do with the current life of blackmail and whatnot, truly. This is not karma.

There's a considering sniffle.

"Do you know the song, the one that's like, mmm whatcha saaaay...that one?"

[bardicwine]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤno, you're just stuck with a bard that is annoying as fuck when he's bored, the voice quips, and paultin mutters a 'true that' under his breath. "i dunno, dude. awfully specific, though, so you probably did."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤpaultin is not letting badou rest easy today.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤthe request makes him tilt his head, though. he searches within his brain for it--that certainly sounds like a song he'd know, but... has he actually played it? who knows. ( no one does. even sobriety wouldn't know, man. he's got too many songs to know that right off the top of his head. )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤif only chris were here to make you roll, the voice now chides, which gave him an idea.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ"... possibly," paultin's visage is a little sheepish now as he admits that, and he backs up just a tiiiny bit--enough to give badou flailing room--as he holds the harmonica to his mouth. he warms up with a quick scale, then mentally makes an intelligence check.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ... you roll a 19. you finally remember the tune to the song; now make a performance check.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ... you roll a 12, but your performance mods add a 6. 18. you're able to play with little to no wrong intonations of the notes.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhe closes his eyes as he manages to play the song after some thinking. thankfully, the harmonica is loud enough to reverberate in the closet, so hopefully badou would be free of the bard soon enough.

[notpano-deactivated20170912]

[t-hy-lla]

[bardicwine]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤi wouldve waited to touch on sandra until it was like, valentines day, but then i remembered how impatient i am. so, here you go: information on paultin's dead wife! (yay!)

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤedit: i took so long on this that it is now way closer to valentines day. oops. it also ends abruptly bc i ran out of ideas for now lmao

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤshe was a human rogue that could have easily been mistaken for a fighter (probably because she did serve as a protector of a criminal organization for a little while, right before she had met paultin, but that's for later). she actually believed in lathander, but was more of a casual believer and would typically attend sermons once every month. she was about two inches taller than paultin and had long brown hair that was sometimes tied into a braid or a bun, depending on the day. she was also a year or so older than him.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤher and paultin had first met at a festival that was taking place in waterdeep. she was initially doing rounds as a voluntary guard, but had gotten pretty bored of it--until paultin caught her eye. he wasn't performing, exactly, but trying to barter with a vendor with his charm. when he succeeded, she wasted no time and had broken the ice. ( waterdeep was expensive, after all, and despite her class, she didn't want to steal from someone who was also struggling to make ends meet. )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤafter that, the two would bump into each other again at an inn that paultin was preparing to play for. he was hopping around, as it was cheaper to do that instead of settling down--sandra was simply staying at the same inn he was performing in, as she no longer had 'proper housing' after cutting ties with her previous job. they once again started talking, and soon enough, they were making plans to meet at that inn every few days to check on each other.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤevery few days turned into every night or late night after a while--about four months after they had initially started, to be specific. paultin started to think about settling a permanent spot to come back to in waterdeep, as his performances were doing well enough. not only that, but it'd make the check-ins easier to travel to. sandra offered to live with him to make payments easier (and also so she could stop living at inns), and paultin agreed. about a month and a half later, they're moving into a fixer-upper--and it's then that sandra thinks about their relationship. within that month, she asks him to be her boyfriend. ( he was hesitant at first, but after getting out of his own head, he agreed. )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤtheir relationship is pretty domestic, and for a while, they're content with how things are. they live comfortably, and sandra starts to shift away from working as a guard and more as a defense instructor for kids.

[memesomething]

Headcanon/Development Questions

If asked today, would your muse say they were happy? How long have they been happy?

Your muse has to share something that’s hard for them to talk about. What is the biggest thing they don’t want to say aloud/admit? What makes it hard for them to say it?

Name one line in the sand your muse has. Tell us one way someone can go ‘too far’.

Is conflict something to be avoided at all costs, or does it sometimes have to happen?

Would your muse use the word ‘brave’, about themselves? Should they?

What’s one of the bravest things your muse has done? Did they consider it brave?

Your muse is trying to calm down/unwind after a long, bad day in a hotel room/out of state, away from family and friends and most of their things. What do they do?

What does kindness look like, to your muse?

Does your muse think an action has to be intentional and malicious, to be cruel?

What’s something they’ve mildly been afraid of before? Not a huge trauma, something small?

Can they leave their work at the door (disconnect from ‘work mode’ and enter ‘home mode’) or do they carry it with them wherever they go?

The last thing your muse has been annoyed about?

What’s something your muse has done, in canon or in a thread, that just makes you Love ThemTM?

What does your muse like about [character name]?

What is their pain tolerance like - and if it’s high, how did it get to be that way?

Would they stop to help if someone needed help, in the street?

What’s something about the way your muse ‘helps’ that might be different from how someone else would help? What in particular about their style of ‘help’ is different/unusual? 

If their neighbour was sick and asked them to do some small household task, does your muse do the household task and leave or do they Offer More?

What’s a fail-safe gift for your muse?

Tell us about a small, passing relationship your muse has with someone in their everyday life. Are they on a first name basis with their barista? What about the busdriver?

If your muse was evicted from their home with no warning, today, where would they go? What would they do?

How important are apologies, to your muse? Do they have to be aloud?

Name something your muse regrets. 

Do they take hard decisions as a dare? Does your muse think “kill this person or you’re [letting bad thing happen]” is a dare (Do It Or You’re A Coward)? If they do think it’s a dare, do they do it? 

What’s something your muse isn’t proud of, about themselves?

[crownmemes]

Caring & Reassuring Sentences, Vol. 4

(Sentences from various sources for muses that care for each other. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"You know, what you did for me, nobody's ever done that for me before."

"You know, it's okay to be surprised sometimes."

"I just wish you'd tell me if there was something wrong."

"I hope you won't think any less of me for trying to help you."

"I must admit, I don't understand you."

"It's not where you start in this life, it's where you finish."

"Sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons."

"Let me try to talk to her."

"You're a damaged man, but you're a good man."

"Perhaps I could be of assistance?"

"I could never have done this without you."

"I could stay, if you'd like?"

"You're frightened because you can't understand it."

"For every problem, there is a solution."

"Everything I did, I did for you."

"I've been where you are. I know what you're going through."

"I've always suspected that you were a little more human than you let on."

"No one can guarantee the actions of another."

"Don't you give up. Don't you dare."

"Your secret's safe with me."

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually."

"We're all misled by our heart sometimes."

"No man lives without regrets."

"I'll be home this evening, if you need a sympathetic ear."

"Don't worry, your little secret's safe with me."

"You hide it, but you do have feelings."

"Think of me as a friend."

"I can take care of myself - you just never give me the chance!"

"Love is not a switch. You can't just turn it off."

"Yes, it matters. It matters to me."

[crownmemes]

Sad Sentences, Vol. 4

(Sad sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I'm really trying to do my best."

"I am so sick of people pushing me away for my safety."

"I just wish that I had someone that would be there for me and I could be there for him."

"Guilt is you knowing you've done something wrong. Shame is everyone knowing."

"I don't want everybody to hate me."

"All a man can count on is himself."

"Sometimes it's a gift not knowing the truth."

"I don't want to waste any more time before we take the next step."

"Hell is going to follow me wherever I go."

"The danger with facing your demons is that sometimes your demons win."

"We're all familiar with betrayal."

"Sometimes, I think I'm from a different planet."

"What I do, it's not who I am. It's just how I have to be."

"You never felt as I did. Never."

"I hate it when we argue."

"Some day I'll learn."

"I like my own company."

"You know what? I'm not talking about this right now."

"All I ever really wanted was for him to love me."

"I'm trying to make people like me. I want them to like me."

"I wanted to do the right thing, but I didn't want to do it alone."

"How am I even supposed to be in a relationship with you if you don't let me in?"

"I'm living my life, I just don't like it very much."

"I could never tell her I loved her..."

"I feel sorry for you because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to do."

"So this is it? You save my life and then break my heart?"

"Why are you crying?"

"I didn't ask for this 'honour', and I don't want it!"

"Apparently I need cheering up."

"I know what it's like to be alone."

"Sometimes making up for things only makes it worse."

"At a time like this, curiously, you begin to think of the things you regret or the things you might miss."

"I want to go home."

"They say there are some things better not remembered."

"I know I should be sad, and I am. Part of me is."

"Her absence touches me in ways I could not predict."

"I don't think you ever get over something like that. It becomes a part of who you are."

"Love is hell."

"I don't struggle with anger. I let anger win a long time ago."

"How can you bear to look at me after the way I deceived you?"

"I can't tell you all my secrets."

"Well, that was uniquely humiliating."

"Why are you so against me?"

"I'm just wondering what it was that took the life out of your face."

[bardicwine]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ"the moss is really kicking people's asses," paultin huffs as he leans against the wall of a temporarily closed business--he needed to alleviate the pain in his knees, if only for a moment. the whole evacuation thing required more standing than he had expected. "i'm not entirely sure if this is a magic thing or just... an invasive, 'normal' thing. can't really check."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤcan't do a lot of things here, a voice hissed, annoyed. he holds himself back from outwardly agreeing.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ"... you know if that fire thing's really working?" he pursed his lips, his head now turned towards charles. he'd love a reason to make molotov cocktails right now, if he's being honest. might as well use the merchandise for good if he can't sell it or drink it, you know?

@heroicvaliant liked for an event starter!

[bardicwine]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤboy oh boy its my favorite kind of event (putting my muse through the ringer) ! here's how he'll be faring :

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤinitially, he's going to make sure the taverns are cleared. kinda sucks for business now, but hey, he'd prefer if he had customers later on. and also, he can't be blamed for other people's recklessness if he's trying to stop it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhe might take part in helping other evacuations, especially with the money involved. there's enough zeroes for him to be interested.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhowever, given his exposure to it through patrons and just from volunteering, he's gonna eventually fall victim to it. idk how far just yet that's a thread problem

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤi also don't know how he'll think of it whether initially or during it. he may think he's just drunk. he may catch on and think this is some sort of ring of winter situation. again, a thread problem

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤi'm also 75% sure that if it affects residency at all it'll go for the coast first (esp since its a huge thing w the moon too), sooo . he's gonna be a lil messed up.