because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever
While battling a small bout of insomnia, Durbe reminisces on his past lives with Ryoga, as well as his current life with him.
Warnings: Post-Canon; mentioned canon character death
Pairing: Durbe/Ryoga Kamishiro
It's late, half past midnight, and Durbe can't sleep.
No nightmares plague him, nor do creaks or bumps in the night. He's warm and safe in his and Ryoga's shared bed, the latter of whom is snoring softly beside him. But for some unknown reason, sleep evades Durbe.
There's no need to toss or turn to get comfortable, he's got all the comfort he could ask for, sleeping on his side, his back to Ryoga's slow-rising chest, Ryoga's arm draped snugly around Durbe's waist, their legs tangled together. It's arguably the most comfortable he's going to get at this point, and yet he still is unable to succumb to a restful slumber.
Exhaling through his nose, Durbe slightly snuggles backwards, further into Ryoga's hold, his head nuzzling the pillow. His arm overlaps Ryoga's and Durbe's fingers fill the gaps in between Ryoga's, Durbe gently clutching Ryoga's hand as they lay there in bed. He tries again to simply close his eyes and allow sleep to overtake him, but after several minutes of nothing, he finds himself opening his eyes yet again, sighing as he looks down at their conjoined hands.
A tired smile comes to Durbe at the sight, his thumb brushing over the back of Ryoga's hand. When he hears Ryoga's snoring falter, he stops, not wanting to wake the ex-king. Ryoga hums a pleased sounding note, before shifting in his sleep, his arm and legs pulling away as he instead moves to lay with his back to Durbe's, his snoring beginning all over again.
The new position leaves Durbe free to move without the possibility of waking Ryoga - or so he assumes - as he takes the option to sit up in bed, looking over at Ryoga momentarily. He takes the time to gently lean over and tuck some hair behind Ryoga's ear, giving him the room to kiss his cheek before carefully sitting back up, reaching over to the nightstand for his glasses, and getting out of bed.
He walks to their apartment's kitchen, and turns on the light, squinting as his eyes adjust to the brightness. With a soft grunt of displeasure at the slight sting to his eyes the light brought, Durbe makes his way to a cabinet, reaching inside for his usual mug, and for a small pot, which he fills halfway with water. He places the pot on their small gas stove, heating the water as he then reaches into another cabinet for a small box filled with packets of Chamomile tea, each packet housing a single teabag.
As he waits for the water to come to a simmer, Durbe realizes how... domestic his life has become. The realization isn't a bad one, not in any way. He rather likes his life the way it is now. But it doesn't stop him from comparing now to the past, to his and Ryoga's first lives.
Their being a couple wasn't a new development in this third lifetime. No, they had been together since their first lives, when Ryoga was still the boy king Nasch and Durbe was but his knight, when their love was considered taboo due to their statuses. Nasch's council had made it clear: there was to be no romantic fraternization between King and Knight, especially a knight of an outside kingdom. But as time went on, the two had grown closer and closer, acting in secret on both the physical and emotional impulses of young teens in love.
It wasn't until when war washed upon the land's shores that their relationship suffered. The death of Merag and the stress of war forged Nasch into a hardened young man, one that Durbe had sometimes barely recognized. Nevertheless, the two stayed together as best they could, until death finally drove them apart.
Ironically, Death was what brought them back together, Don Thousand having handpicked their souls to serve him as his Barian Emperors, his Lords of the Dead. Even in this state of death-non-death, he and Nasch had found their way to each other once more, even if neither had the memory of their previous lives.
Maybe that's why it'd hurt so much when Nasch and Merag had gone missing. Maybe Durbe's body was reacting to losing them not once, but twice.
After finding them living as the young twins Ryoga and Rio Kamishiro, and after reinstating their memories as both the Barians Nasch and Merag as well as the young heirs Nasch and Merag, there had been no time to sit and reminisce about their pasts, not when there had been a war to win.
No, the time for that came after the war was over and Yuma and Astral had brought them back as humans, and Nasch-now-Ryoga had asked in private "What exactly are we?"
"Whatever we want to be." Durbe had replied, moments before Ryoga pulled him in for a hungry kiss, one that had left Durbe breathless and wanting more, like a man dying of thirst being given water for the first time in days. That was years ago. Now the duo were in their early 20s, living alone together in their shared apartment after having shared the Kamishiro mansion with all the other ex-Barians.
Smiling at the memory, Durbe looks over to the stove and cuts off the gas, his water having come to a gentle boil. As he filled his mug with water, Durbe began to repeatedly lift and lower the teabag he's acquired into the steaming water. He's been in the process of doing this several times now when a pair of arms wraps around him from behind, causing the ex-knight to jump slightly, thankfully not spilling any tea.
The voice belonging to the pair of arms then speaks up. "What're you doing up?" Ryoga's voice is thick and heavy with sleep, his breath warm against Durbe's neck. It sends a chill down Durbe's back, and he leans into Ryoga's hold.
"Couldn't sleep." Durbe replies, the steam from the mug of tea fogging his glasses up somewhat as he takes a small sip. "Thought tea would help."
Ryoga gives a shrug and a snort. "If you say so."
They stay like that for a few moments, Durbe sipping his tea and Ryoga holding Durbe from behind, before Durbe speaks.
Ryoga rests his chin on Durbe's shoulder, looking over the ex-knight's tired but pleased looking expression, before turning his head into the crook of Durbe's neck, murmuring an "I love you too" against the skin there. It sets Durbe's heart aflutter every time he hears it, the feeling never getting old.
He sets his half empty mug down on the counter, a hand lowering to take hold of one of Ryoga's, and places it over Durbe's own chest, over his heart, letting the two of them feel it beat. They're both quiet for a while, until Durbe speaks again.
"Three lifetimes with you is more than I expected, more than I ever deserved."
Durbe can feel Ryoga's reaction rather than see it. His body tenses, his breathing hitches, and as Ryoga begins to pull away, Durbe's worried he's about to get an earful, but is pleasantly surprised when he's pulled into a tight hug.
"What's with the mushy crap?" Ryoga sounds more awake now than he did moments ago, and with their bodies pressed together in a hug, Durbe can feel Ryoga's heart beating fast. "That tea's making you sappy."
Durbe chuckles and lets his hand run up and down Ryoga's back. "Maybe so, Ryoga. Maybe so." He expects the other male to let him go at that, but when he doesn't, Durbe gives a questioning hum, his hand ceasing its vertical motions. Its only when Ryoga speaks again that Durbe's heart melts, and his grip on Ryoga tightens.
"I can't imagine a life without you by my side."
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