Unwaivering
Kirishima can't help but find himself drawn to the blond currently hunched over, asleep at his bedside. He can't explain it, this magnet-like attraction to him, this innate sense of comfort, of familiarity that seems to pool in his stomach, flutter in his chest as he looks over the other man.
The presence of a horned woman with pink hair and skin sitting in the chair less than 3 feet away from his hospital bed also provides a sense of comfort to him, but not to the same strange extent the blond does.
If only he knew who either of them were.
Warnings: Aged-Up Characters; Pro-Hero Characters; Memory Loss; Blink-And-You-Miss-It Manga Spoilers; Pairing(s): Eijirou Kirishima/Katsuki Bakugo (KiriBaku) Word Count: 12,254 words.
Read it here on AO3! Commission Info!
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The solid, steady rhythm of some kind of beeping is what rouses him.
The sound's not sudden; Its as though he'd been floating in a black, inky void that muffled anything and everything, but the beeping had been patiently insistent. He wasn't sure when he'd registered it, or how long it'd been slowly rising in volume before he could no longer ignore it, but now that he was aware of it, he had to know what it was.
The second that desire for knowledge, that determination is cemented in his re-stabilizing consciousness, he feels heavy. There's a general acknowledgement of 'hurt', pretty much everywhere.
Before he brings himself to open his eyes, he can feel himself laying down, but not flat on his back. He's propped up slightly, in an angle that's an awkward compromise between sitting up and laying down. The plush comfort beneath him, behind him, as well as the warmth that carpets him from about his mid-chest down, is indicative of him being in a bed. Safe. Is he safe? He tries to bring himself to talk, to call out for someone, anyone, that could or would help him. Why wouldn't he be safe? Should he be safe? Was it normal to wonder if you were safe or not while waking up? No words leave him, though, a low, strained sounding groan being the only thing he could manage.
There's the sound of a sharp intake of air(a gasp, maybe?) from somewhere nearby, but he momentarily ignores it, moving what all of his body he can as he slowly re-acquaints himself with the familiarity of his joints, his muscles. That general sensation of 'hurt' now becomes more pronounced, more detailed, more specific in various areas of his body: the expanse of his chest, the length of his arms, though most notably is his head. He slowly tilts his head from left, to right, then back to its natural position, feeling his face contort in discomfort. He takes a deep inhale, and feels the ache in his chest expand as his lungs do. Reflexively, his fingers curl in on themselves and--
There's a warmth in his right hand, a presence of something foreign loosely wrapped around it.
Despite the surprising weight his eyelids seem to bear, he's able to open his eyes, looking down towards his right hand. As the world around him slowly comes into focus, he's able to make out that yes, he is on a bed, and yes, there is definitely something in his hand - specifically, another person's hand. Instinctively, he brushes his thumb along the back of this other hand. Though as his gaze travels along the arm connected to that hand, and the body connected to that arm, he stops, and takes in the sight of a blond man sitting in a chair placed directly next to his bed, hunched over in an uncomfortable looking manner. The blond's torso is resting awkwardly against the bed, and his head is turned in his direction; as though this mystery man fell asleep watching him.
There's a moment's hesitancy, a brief lapse in action as the thought of 'Who is this man?' relays itself in his head. However, before he can make any other move to interact with the blond, a voice cuts through the silence.
"Kiri?"
Tensing, he reluctantly tears his gaze away from the blond at his right side, to the owner of the voice coming from his left. He's greeted with the presence of a young woman with a pair of pale yellow-white horns in her poofy pink hair, the shade of which matched her skin. She was sitting in cushioned chair approximately three feet away from his bed, in a white and pink tye-dye crop top and black leggings. Their gazes lock, and in searching her eyes for some sort of explanation, she opens her mouth again, speaking softer this time.
"... Eijirou? Babe?"
He blinks at the tone of her words, the slight tremor in her voice. It sounded almost like she was... scared, maybe? Kiri... Eiji...rou? Lamely, he draws his gaze away from her, staring more at the floor by her feet. Why did that feel familiar? Kiri... Eijirou...
...Eijirou... Kiri...? There was something more; He could feel it. Kiri... Kiri... Kirishi... Kirishima...?
His eyes widened. Eijirou Kirishima.
Oh. Oh, that's right; That was his name, wasn't it?
It felt like something clicked into place at that, and Kirishima raised his left hand, his gaze going from its current spot on the floor, to his raised hand. He flexed his fingers, exhaling slowly as he did. Looking up, Kirishima finally took in his surroundings, and was made aware of the IV hooked up to his right arm, of the beeping that had woken him up in the first place coming from a machine that was monitoring his pulse, of a second bed in the room several feet behind the blond slumped by his side.
"I..." His throat feels raspy, the timbre of his voice soft and low, "Is this... a hospital?"
The pink woman nods, the move slow and hesitant. Her eyes glance towards his head before looking back into his eyes, and she takes a moment before speaking again. "Yeah, you..." She frowned slightly, her lower lip jutting out in a pout as she seemed to consider her next words carefully. "You've been here since about noon, yesterday." Kirishima glances around the room at that, eventually landing on an analog clock on a wall that read a little less than half past seven. The lack of light shining through the room's windows tipped him off to it more than likely being in the evening. The woman's voice draws him back to look at her. "What all do you remember?"
At that, Kirishima blinks, opening his mouth momentarily before slowly closing it upon realizing he couldn't recall... anything, really. A cold chill washes over him as he tenses, it briefly feeling like someone had frozen his insides. He didn't even remember his own name until just a moment ago... what the hell happened to him? He can only imagine the expression he's giving off, because he watches as the woman's own expression falls, her lips pressing together in a thin line as a small whimper(? whine?) escapes her.
He has the feeling of wanting to comfort her, something in him saying 'you don't like seeing her like this', and starts to stretch his left hand out as though he's trying to reach for her. She meets him halfway, turning the chair to face him directly, grabbing his one hand with both of hers.
"You don't remember anything, do you?" She asks, a sad laugh escaping her as her eyes begin to water. "You big doof, reaching over to try and make me feel better when you're the one in the hospital bed." She pulls one of her hands away to awkwardly dab at her eyelids with the back of her thumb. "You're gonna make me ruin my makeup."
Kirishima manages a weak smile and chuckle, giving the hand still holding his a gentle squeeze. The action reminds him that his right hand is also occupied by the hand of another, and he glances over to the blond again, chewing worriedly at his lower lip upon realizing that the blond was wearing a hospital gown, and that both his arms were wrapped in bandages. This guy was hurt too? Looking back to the woman, Kirishima speaks. "What happened to him?"
Another laugh leaves the woman, though this one sounds more... amused than sad. The sound is followed by a sniffle, and she shakes her head with a small smile on her face. "First you're worried about me, then you ask about what happened to Blasty? I mean, I know you, I get it, but c'mon. Kiri, babe, you're my best friend and I love you to death, but you could be a little selfish for once and ask about yourself, ya know?"
There's a beat of silence between them, Kirishima blinking before frowning confusedly. "Best friends?" He asks, his head cocking to the side slightly. "We're... best friends?"
A flicker of hurt passes through the woman's eyes at that, and there's an immediate feeling of guilt that sinks deep in Kirishima's gut. But the hurt is gone as quickly as it appeared, and she nods. "Yep!" She plasters on a big smile, giving his hand a tight squeeze. "The name's Mina Ashido. We've known each other since middle school, though we didn't really give our friendship the 'best friends' label until about our second year of high school." Her smile simmers down into something more playful, a giggle escaping her. "Honestly, Kami moped for like three minutes after finding out, and tried to save face by saying that Sero was his best friend, but you were quick to scoop him up in a hug and be like, 'Don't worry Denks, you guys are all my best friends!' but I had to add in that I had seniority and rank on him and Sero since I'd known you longer, and--"
A groan cuts Mina off, her and Kirishima looking over to the origin of the noise: the blond at Kirishima's bedside. The blond's expression scruntches uncomfortably, a small snort escaping him as he nuzzles his head against the arm its resting against, and the hand holding Kirishima's twitches.
"Yikes..." Mina whispers, seething slightly. "I should probably be a little quieter."
Kirishima doesn't look back at her yet, carefully looking over the blond and brushing his thumb against the back of his hand. "You said his name was... Blasty?"
Mina's silent for a second, which prompts Kirishima to look back at her. Her expression is sad again, though when she realizes he's looking at her, she's quick to force a smile. "Yes and no," she replies, letting go of Kirishima's hand as she fully sits back in her chair. "Blasty, Lord Explosion Murder, 'Kacchan' technically, if Kaminari's teasing or if you're Midoriya." A weak laugh leaves her as before she says, "I call him Boom Boom Bitch every once in a while, but that's cuz he calls me Bubble Gum Bitch." Her empty smile dies down, and hands are in her lap, her thumbs fiddling with themselves. "... None of that is... ringing any bells?"
There's something in her voice that makes the guilt rush back into Kirishima full force, pooling in his stomach, making his chest ache. His lips curl in on themselves as he forces himself to think, to focus on what he presumes are the blond's nicknames, to try and see if any inkling of his real name emerges for the empty expanse that was currently his lack of memories. But when he comes up with nothing, he looks away and shakes his head, feeling disappointed, like he's betrayed both Mina and the blond by not remembering.
He hears Mina give a soft hum, and a brief silence settles between them. Kirishima isn't sure how long it lasts; it could just be seconds, but it feels like an eternity. He feels frustrated, so frustrated, about this guilt, this disappointment, this upset that threatens to consume him, all because he can't remember this man's name - a man who's currently hunched over at his bedside, passed out, visibly injured, holding onto his hand like a lifeline. Even without his memories, Kirishima could tell this man was important to him in some way. Kirishima's jaw tenses, he closes his eyes and tries his damnedest to recall something, anything, subconsciously holding the blond's hand a little tighter and--
"Eijirou?"
At the sound of Mina's voice, Kirishima opens his eyes, and is caught off-guard by the sudden blur of his vision, by how hot his eyes were. His face feels wet. Shakily, Kirishima's left hand rises to feel his own face, a shuddering breath escaping him as he does so.
...Ah. He's crying.
He sniffles, rubbing at his eyes and cheeks with the back of his left hand, intent on wiping away his tears, on staunching them from flowing any further. Kirishima's too caught up in himself, in his effort to hide his tears (Don't be weak; Put on a strong front, a voice in the back of his head tells him. It's not unmanly to cry though; It's ok to be vulnerable, says an opposing voice. He's not sure which to listen to in this moment.) that he doesn't notice Mina getting up from her seat, the young woman moving to wrap her arms around him in a hug.
Its almost second-nature, the way Kirishima's left arm moves to hook around her back, his fingers grabbing at one of her shoulders as he turns to bury his head against her other shoulder. He can hear her attempting to stifle her own crying, can feel her trembling in his hold, and something nags at him in the back of his head. He's hugged her like this before, they've been in a familiar situation before. Both crying, both upset. Mortified. Abhorred. A feeling of loss. Loss at ...night? ...Midnight? Did something happen to them... late at night? He can't quite place it, can't quite explain it, and opts not to try and vocalize it, not wanting to make the woman - make Mina - cry more.
Mina leans her head against Kirishima's, and when he can feel her crying ease, she speaks.
"... Bakugo. His name is Katsuki Bakugo."
Something lights up within Kirishima at that, an eruption of warmth, of comfort, of emotion he's not sure he knows how to name upon hearing the name. It feels strong, it feels right, it feels like home. The name alone somehow manages to soothe the hurt, the ache he's feeling, and gives him the support he needs to find the strength to ease into a more collected state. His fingers curl into the fabric of her crop top, and he exhales deeply, his thumb brushing against the blond's-- against Bakugo's hand. He turns his head to look at their hands again, his cheek resting on Mina's shoulder.
The sight of their hands conjoined, along with the knowledge of Bakugo's name... Something else seems to click into place, and he's filled with a flurry of emotions. Worry. Apprehension. Fear. But at the same time, there's drive. There's insistence. There's the desire to protect. To help. To save. A rush of adrenaline. A time limit. One chance. An unknown voice: "It has to be you." His own voice, desperate: "Come on!" Katsuki's hand in his. Warmth. Overwhelming relief. Safe. He's safe. He's safe.
So why was he hurt now?
Fingers curl just a little tighter around Bakugo's hand, before Kirishima speaks. "What happened to him?" He asks for the second time now, his voice shaky. "What happened to me?"
Mina begins to pull away, and honestly Kirishima's hesitant to let her go, but says nothing, releasing his hold on her. She moves back only to pull her chair closer to his bed, and takes a seat. She reaches for his left hand, and he's quick to give it to her, giving her hand a supportive squeeze as she prepares to speak.
"Alot of this is probably going to sound foreign to you, so I'll try to make it as... easy to understand as I can." Mina says. Kirishima sees her jut her lower lip out in a small pout as she thinks, presumably to try and filter out anything that might confuse him. He gives her all the time she needs. "You and Bakugo, along with some other people, were on duty, working on some big case." Her thumb brushes against his hand. "I couldn't tell you much about it, because the agency I'm working at wasn't involved. But the agency you work at, and the agency Bakugo works at, were two that were involved."
"You were excited. You and Bakugo hadn't really teamed up on anything together since our last year at U.A-- the high school we all went to together." Mina smiled at that, the sight fond and gentle. "Not that you didn't like working together, it's just that the agencies you worked at had never teamed up before then."
"Agencies... Like, detectives?" Kirishima asked, regretting speaking up upon seeing Mina's soft expression falter.
She was silent for a moment, before working up that smile again and shaking her head. "No, Kiri. Um... Like heroes."
He blinks. Heroes? Him, a hero? He... he couldn't have been a hero, right? Heroes... Heroes had really cool and flashy quirks, and his own was...
What was his quirk again?
Kirishima frowns slightly, slowly pulling his gaze away from Mina as he tries to focus, tries to will some fragment of a memory to him that would tell him what his quirk was, but to no avail. Its frustrating, so frustrating, but he manages to exhale slowly through his nose, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again and looking to Mina. He does his best to keep his expression neutral, he doesn't want his anxiety and frustration to upset her. His gaze meets hers, and he nods affirmingly, a silent go ahead to continue.
Mina squeezes his hand comfortingly before continuing. "Like I said, I don't know the full details. But apparently you guys got a break in the case you were all working on, and had to do like, a covert sorta thing? You, Bakugo, and several other heroes infiltrated a building the villains were going to use to take civilian hostages, by dressing up as civilians yourselves and quietly telling the actual civilians to discreetly get out, which woulda left only heros dressed as civilians, and the villains. But something happened, I don't know what, and fighting broke out in the building. You and Bakugo went after one villain together, and apparently the room you guys ended up in had some kids hiding in there. You moved to protect them, but for whatever reason, you didn't activate your quirk in time, and were hurt pretty bad." Mina's visibly forcing herself to not cry at this point, doing all she can to presumably keep a positive face, but its failing and it tugs at Kirishima's heart.
"I don't know exactly how bad you were hurt, how... extensive your injuries were," Mina's hand is trembling in his now, her free hand dabbing at her eyes again, "but I overheard Bakugo talking with one of the doctors when I got here yesterday. Your skull had a really bad fracture, and there was something about your brain, bleeding or swelling or something, and--" She's half-sobbing at this point, clearly fighting to keep coherent. "They'd done what they could to stablize you on site after Bakugo had rushed you to the paramedics, and performed surgery when you got here and you were in there for so long and Bakugo was a mess and I was too but I'd never seen him like that, and oh god, you had us so scared Kiribabe, and-- and--!" Mina finally devolves into body-wracking sobs, the smile gone from her face as she attempts to stifle the noises leaving her. Kirishima's heart plummets into his stomach, and he holds her hand tight, the action being all he can do at this point but its not enough, she's crying, Eijirou, help her, do something, say something, anything. Help her like you helped those kids--
There's a slight pain in his head suddenly that causes Kirishima to wince, pulling his hand away from Mina's into hold his head, palm meeting an apparently bandage-covered temple. There's a chain of coughs. Small. Weak. Pitiful sounding. A whimper immediately follows, trailed by the soft 'shh!' of a child. Child? Children. There's kids in here. He turns his head, takes his eyes off the villain for a moment as an explosion sounds behind him, the sound of a struggle. His eyes quickly scan the area. There's a small leg sticking out near some rubble, black pants, a little red shoe. How did he miss it? How could he have missed it? His gaze trails up the leg, and he spots them: two kids, partially obscured by the debris of the building, one cradling the other - the smaller - in their lap, both children covered in soot and ash.
"Kiri?"
Mina's voice is faint, almost like it's floating away. She sounds scared. A sound escapes him, a grunt? A whine? It sounds far away too, but he doesn't focus on it; he can't focus on it. Not yet. Another explosion sounds behind him, followed by a crash. He hears someone - Katsuki? - cry out in pain. He turns his head. Katsuki's been thrown back first into some of the debris, crumpled awkwardly. Worry. Fear. Panic. Is he alright? It's Katsuki, of course he's alright, right? Get up. Please. Get up. The villain turns from Katsuki to look back at him. Their gaze drops towards the kids. There's a malicious look on their face, and no no nO-- He's moving fast. Is he faster than them? Should he activate his quirk now? No. He's slower when he's hardened; get to the kids first, then harden. Don't risk it. Civilians first. He's running. Adrenaline. Terror. Oh god please make it. He's sliding onto his knees, his body is hunched over awkwardly. Block the children from the villain. Leave enough room between you and the children so they don't get hurt by your quirk. Your quirk. Harden. Unbreakable. Harden!
"Kirishima?!"
His fingers are digging into his hair. He shakes head. Not yet. He can feel the ripple of hardening begin to sprout from the center of his back. Everything's in slow motion. He looks down. One of the kids is hurt, there's blood on their arm as the other kid cradles them. The bigger kid, the one holding the other, looks up at him. There's terror in those eyes. What to do, what to do, what to do? Be unbreakable. Unwaivering. His Hardening's made its way towards the front of his torso, his lower back, his shoulders, the base of his neck. He manages a smile at the older kid. It'll be ok, he wants to say. The words never form. Something makes contact with his back, but it's large, larger than he is. It slams into the entire expanse of his body, regardless of his Hardening's caught up with the rest of him or not. There's a pain in both his arms, at the back of his head, a sickly sounding crack deafened in his eardrums. Pain. Pain pain pain pain pain paIN-- The world is... on its side now? Why are the children sideways? The bigger one is speaking, crying. He can't hear their voice. Its muffled and muddy sounding, as is the villain's voice behind him, sounding rhythmic - perhaps laughter? His vision's starting to blur. Fight, fight, fight! Stay awake, protect the kids, stay aliv--
"Eijirou!"
Mina sounds terrified now, but Kirishima's hands both tighten their grip, there's something hot and wet on his face. He wants to say something, but he can't, not yet, Mina. The sound of an explosion booms behind him, but that too is muffled. The bigger kid lunges forward slightly, being careful with the smaller, using Kirishima's slumped body as a barrier between them and the pressure-filled impact of the explosion. Good. They need to stay safe. Several rounds of explosions burst one after another after another. The world's getting darker now. His body is tense, but he feels himself ebbing away. His surroundings start to fade, but he keeps his gaze on the children. They're trembling in front of him, clasping onto each other fearfully. He wants to move, wants to hold them and soothe their fear, but he can't bring himself to move his arms. Can't bring himself to shift closer somehow. Can't find it in him to even speak. The bigger kid's eyes fly open, and they move, looking past his body at something, before shimmying themself and the smaller child back some. The bigger kid starts crying, and Kirishima's gut sinks when he realizes he can no longer hear the muffled sounds of, or feel the residual force or heat of any explosions. The villain must be coming. Harden. Force it. Protect the kids! But nothing happens. The kids don't attempt to make a run for it. They look worriedly at him, before looking up again. There's a pair of warm hands moving him now, and-- PAIN. His eyes clamp shut as he fails to fight back the garbled noise that leaves him from being moved. He can't hear himself fully, he sounds so far away. There's something hot and wet falling onto him. He opens his eyes, but he doesn't see much. His vision's mostly gone, and all he can make out is a face. An angled face, expression contorted in worry and fear. There's blond hair matted to their forehead by sweat and ash, wide, wet red eyes looking frantically at him and-- oh. It's Katsuki. Katsuki's lips are moving; Katsuki's saying something. The urge to close his eyes is growing too strong to ignore though, the relief flooding his body from it being Katsuki and not the villain making his body feel heavy. He's tired, so very tired. He wants to say something though, to ease that look on Katsuki's face. He feels his mouth open to say something, but he can no longer hear what leaves his lips. He coughs, the action wet and gross, leaving the tangy taste of copper in his mouth. He feels Katsuki tense. Kirishima's sight is so far gone, no matter how hard he tries to force himself to see. He's barely able to make out the sight of Katsuki's lips move one more time. Faintly, he can hear what Katsuki's screaming. 'Eijirou'.
"Eijirou!"
Kirishima's eyes snap open at the familiar gruff voice, his head turning to look at those same red eyes he'd seen in his head just moments ago, a spark of something jolting through his chest as their gazes meet.
Bakugo's awake.
He's sitting up, his expression stern and steely, brows narrowed as he scowls (its a facade, he's terrified right now, one of the voices in the back of his head says, and this time, the other voice doesn't oppose.) and squeezes the hand holding Kirishima's. Its only then that Kirishima realizes he's got both his hands in a death grip, the hand in his hair, and the hand holding Bakugo's. Immediately, he lets go of both, the hand at his hair reaching down to cover his own mouth in abhorrent shock, the other trying to pull away from Bakugo's grip. But Bakugo doesn't let him.
"I'm sorry." Kirishima's voice sounds so small, small enough that for a moment, he doesn't even realize it's his voice, that he's the one who's speaking. He slowly becomes re-aware of his surroundings, the tunnel vision he'd had while recalling what he can only presume were his last moments before waking up here slowly dissipating. Mina's hands are on him, one at his shoulder, one at his mid-back. He's sitting fully upright now, uncurling from the ball-like position he'd been falling into while remembering. Mina looks terrified, she's standing at his bedside, the chair she'd been sitting on pushed away behind her. Kirishima looks from her, to Bakugo, from her, to Bakugo again, before biting his lower lip and lowering his head, eyes welling with tears. "I'm sorry." He repeats. He wants to comfort them, wants to give them what they want, the Eijirou Kirishima they knew, they Eijirou Kirishima they remembered. The Eijirou Kirishima he currently wasn't. "I'm so, so sorry."
He barely registers Bakugo's voice, demanding Mina ('Raccoon Eyes', he calls her) go get one of the doctors, barely registers the loss of warmth and comfort from her hands on him, barely registers the sound of his hospital room door closing. He's alone with Bakugo now, and there's so much he wants to ask, so much he wants to say but he doesn't know how to word any of it, and all that comes out through his crying is another weak, small, "I'm sorry."
Bakugo's free hand joins its twin in holding Kirishima's hand, the blond holding onto it like it's a lifeline. Kirishima feels Bakugo's hands trembling, watches as Bakugo lowers his own head, bringing their conjoined hands towards him. The second the back of Kirishima's right hands is pressed against Bakugo's lowered forehead, he sees the blond's shoulders tremble ever-so-slightly.
"Fucking hell..." Bakugo's voice is soft, slightly gravelly, his dual grip on Kirishima's right hand tightening. "Fucking hell, Eijirou."
There's something in his voice that tells Kirishima that other people would see this as Bakugo chiding Kirishima, being upset at him. Something tells him those other people would be wrong. That this isn't Bakugo being displeased with him.
Something tells him this is Bakugo relieved.
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An older doctor was quick to come in, Mina trailing behind her before being told to wait outside a short while later. When Kirishima questioned the doctor about making Mina leave, she gently informed him that she only wanted family in the room for just a moment, for patient confidentiality reasons. He didn't argue with her - she was the doctor, after all - but at her words, his eyes flickered over to Bakugo, who was still holding his hand, though the blond had shifted back into an upright position when the doctor and Mina had initially come in, only holding Kirishima's hand with just one of his own now, as opposed to both. If Mina was made to stay outside, shouldn't Bakugo have been made to do the same? Didn't Mina say Bakugo was his friend earlier?
...Now that he thought of it, Mina didn't really say what Bakugo was to him, did she? He recalled she didn't mention him during the 'best friend' conversation they had, but did mention some other people named Sero and Kaminari. Maybe Bakugo was a cousin of his?
The doctor - Dr. Higurashi, she'd introduced herself as - began slowly asking him some questions about his current state, doing various little physical tests on him as she did so: Was he currently in pain? If so, where? On a scale of one to ten, how would he rate his pain? Would he please try follow the light she was going to shine in his eyes? (His eyes are the color red, he learns, adding to his assumptions that Bakugo was probably related to him.) Would he please breathe in and out slowly as she checked his vitals? Could he wiggle his fingers? His toes?
After that was basic math questions, basic problem solving questions, all ranging from simple enough to do in a moment, to complex enough to make him wish he had a pen and paper to write his work out on. It wasn't until she began asking specific questions that Kirishima's anxiety began to creep back in.
"Can you tell me your name?" Dr. Higurashi asked as she stood at the foot of Kirishima's hospital bed, her voice as gentle as her expression.
Kirishima nodded, his hands settling in his lap. The doctor had asked Bakugo to give her and Kirishima a little room, so he was currently sitting upright in his chair, having scooted it back a little bit. Kirishima would have been lying if he said he didn't miss the comfort of Bakugo's hand in his. "My name is Eijirou Kirishima."
Dr. Higurashi smiled, nodding affirmatively. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kirishima." She gave a quick flick of her wrist against the clipboard she had been previously writing down his physical test results on, presumably checking something off. "Are there any other names or monikers, nickname or otherwise, that you can tell me about?"
Kirishima blinks at that, finding the question odd. "Ah, Mina called me Kiri, if that counts?" He purposefully leaves out the 'babe' and 'Kiribabe' she called him by, not out of embarrassment, but out of the assumption that those might be too personal to count.
From the corner of his peripheral, Kirishima can see Bakugo frown in a way that comes off to him as strange, but he doesn't speak up about it, instead watching as Dr. Higurashi nods and marks something down. "I see. What about your current age?"
Kirishima opened his mouth to speak, but faltered when he realized he couldn't remember how old he was. He swallowed harshly, biting down on his lower lip as he tried to think. Mina had mentioned something about him, her, and Bakugo all going to high school together, that Bakugo and him hadn't teamed up on anything since their last year there. He'd graduated, obviously, since he was apparently a pro hero. So how old was he?
"I'm..." He exhaled slowly, a shuddering breath that didn't relax him like he'd wanted it to. "I'm older than 18."
Dr. Higurashi gives a brief hum then, and when Kirishima says nothing further, she nods and scribbles something on her clipboard. "Ok. Can you tell me when your birthday is?"
He doesn't even know what today's date is. He doesn't even make the attempt this time in trying to force himself to remember, simply shaking his head. "... No, ma'am."
"Do you know if you have a quirk?" She sounds so kind, so patient. Kirishima's thankful that his assigned doctor isn't someone who'd be getting irritated with him or something for not remembering.
He nods at her words though, before closing his eyes, re-seeing the moments before he passed out in his mind's eye. "I do, it's like... defensive. My body becomes..." There's a word he wants to use, a word that played in his mind earlier, a word that felt synonymous with his quirk, felt right. "...Unbreakable."
"I see." Dr. Higurashi repeats, her nose scrunching slightly as she jots something down, before she asks him more questions. His address, his home town, the last meal he ate, the current season, what the day's date is, his previous schools, his current occupation. The last two are the only ones he's able to provide some semblance of an answer to: He went to U.A. for high school and was currently a pro hero. He doesn't hide that he only knows this because of his conversation with Mina, though. In response, Dr. Higurashi asks him what other schools he went to, and what agency he was associated with as a pro hero. He's unable to answer those.
Kirishima can see the doctor's calculating gaze as she jots down little notes that seem to vary in length, some being as quick as a flick of her wrist, to taking several seconds. Her tone has remained calm and friendly, however, something Kirishima's still thankful for. Her patience and understanding has been the only thing keeping him from completely losing it.
Of course it doesn't last long.
"Can you tell me your parents' names?"
He blinks at that. His... parents? His gaze becomes unseeing, his body seems to just stop as he completely draws a blank. If it wasn't for the beeping of the machine monitoring his heartrate, he'd have believed he'd flatlined in that moment, in realizing that not only has he haven't given a single thought to 'oh god, my parents, my family must be worried about me' in the entire time he's been awake, but that he also can't recall any family. Does he even have his parents in his life? Was he raised by a single parent? Were his parents or parent worried about him? Why weren't they here? Why--
Sound is muffled in his ears, almost like he's underwater, and it takes him a moment to focus again, on the dual sounds of Dr. Higurashi and Bakugo speaking to him. He blinks once, twice, before realizing he's trembling, breathing raggedly, curled in on himself again. Dr. Higurashi's hand is on one of his shoulders, her eyes locked onto him as she's trying to grab his attention. His gaze aligns with hers, and she nods, then begins counting, then breathing, counting, then breathing. Bakugo's stopped talking at this point, but Kirishima can feel the other male's hands on him, one on his back, the other on the opposite shoulder of Dr. Higurashi's hand. Kirishima finds himself leaning into Bakugo's touch, and shakily starts breathing in time with the doctor. They all stay like that for several moments, until Kirishima's breathing has evened out.
"Let's stop here," Dr. Higurashi murmurs soothingly, brushing her thumb against Kirishima's shoulder before pulling her hand away. "I'll give you some time to relax, and we can continue this tomorrow morning."
Bakugo's hand is currently rubbing small circles at Kirishima's back, and Kirishima's more than appreciative for the comfort. But he forces out a breath, closing his eyes for a moment before looking back up at Dr. Higurashi. "Wait," Kirishima pipes up, looking pleadingly at her. "Give me one more, please."
"Mr. Kirishima, I--"
"Please." Kirishima repeats. He chews on his lower lip as he sees the doctor contemplate granting him his plea. "We can stop after this last one, I just..." He exhales through his nose, looking down at his hands, which have sat settled in his lap. "...I just want to actually remember something on my own, not something I've been told by someone else."
Dr. Higurashi gave a small hum as she seemed to weigh her options, before closing her eyes and exhaling. "One final question for the night, Mr. Kirishima. Then we'll see how you're feeling tomorrow, alright?"
Kirishima gave a small smile, nodding in agreeance. "Yes, ma'am!"
There was a moment's pause in between them, Bakugo taking the time to pull away from Kirishima then and step back a couple paces, before Dr. Higurashi spoke again. "Can you tell me your current marital status?"
A pout forms on Kirishima's lips at the question, his brows furrowing in thought as he tries to force himself to remember once more. "I..." A frustrated groan escapes him as he curls his hands into fists, the action drawing his eye to his left hand. He relaxed his hands then, lifting his left up some. "I don't... think I'm married." He hated how unsure he sounded. "Its dumb, but I feel like if I was, even with my quirk and being a pro hero, I'd have a ring or something on me somewhere?" He opened and closed his hand twice for good measure, his pout morphing into a sad smile. "So yeah, I don't think I'm married." His mind wanders back to the memory of those kids, hurt and crying while he was slumped on the ground next to them, battered and broken. "Honestly? I'm probably single. I'm a pro hero, and I couldn't even reassure those kids that they'd be ok." A dry, humorless laugh left his lips. "Who'd want to be with someone... someone weak like me?"
He heard the garbled, strangled sounding noise coming from Bakugo in the corner of the room, looking over as the blond began to walk out of the room, an unreadable look on his face. A pang of disappointment tinged Kirishima's heart as he heard his room's door open, the faint sound of Mina's surprised-sounding voice questioning, "Blasty?" before the door closed. His chest felt tight, and he felt... guilty, almost.
But why 'guilty'?
Dr. Higurashi looked concerned as she glanced towards the door, her mouth opening for a brief moment before closing again, her gaze returning to Kirishima. "...Could you clarify that for me, Mr. Kirishima?"
It takes Kirishima a moment to respond, his gaze still trained on the door, as though he was trying to will Bakugo walking back in. But nonetheless, Kirishima looks to Dr. Higurashi, and asks, "Clarify what?"
"What kids do you say you failed to reassure?" She asks in response, trailing around from the foot of Kirishima's hospital bed to the side Mina had previously been on, taking the seat she had been in.
Kirishima blinked, before gasping slightly. "Oh! I recalled it earlier, before Mina got you. I think I remembered how I got here?"
And so Kirishima explained from as early as he could remember, from the sounds of the children coughing and whimpering in that room, to Bakugo calling out for him as he slipped into darkness. When questioned what triggered the memory, he further explained that Mina had been crying about how worried she and Bakugo were about him, about how scared she was, that his mind was racing because he wanted to comfort her, help her, and that she'd mentioned him helping some kids earlier in their conversation, that his mind kind of... compared the situations, to help her like he'd supposedly helped some kids, and that the memory just kind of clicked then.
"I don't remember what the villain looked like, what their quirk was." Kirishima supplies, continuing the rather long ramble that Dr. Higurashi has allowed him to go on. "And I can't describe what those kids fully looked like? I just remember the red shoe that caught my eye, their injuries, their tears..." He exhales to steady himself, decently surprised that he was able to prevent himself from tearing up at recalling it all. "And Bakugo... Mina said our agencies had us working together, that we'd work together at U.A., and I think we worked together well? But my attention was caught by those kids, and then I look back and he's knocked into some of the debris, and when I wake up here, he's in a hospital gown and bandages too? I..." Kirishima's unable to prevent his voice from cracking, the mental image of Bakugo's worried and fearful expression playing in his mind. "I think I made him cry...?" He uses the back of one of his hands to gently rub at one of his eyes, his gaze looking to the second hospital bed in the room that he'd noticed earlier, behind where Bakugo had previously been slumped next to him.
"What you've recalled does align with what Dynamight reported to both medical personnel and authorities," Came Dr. Higurashi's gentle voice, causing Kirishima to look back in her direction, watching as she flipped through a couple of pages on her clipboard, "as well as statements from both the children. Additionally, the arm wound you mentioned seeing on one of the children--"
"So those kids got out safe?" Kirishima interrupted, his eyes wide. There's also the lingering question of who 'Dynamight' was, but the mention of Dr. Higurashi having talked to those kids, having seen those kids, took forefront on his current priority list. "They made it to the hospital?"
The doctor nodded at that, relief flooding through Kirishima's system. "Yes, they did. That arm wound honestly looked worse than it actually was, and we were able to patch them up right away, as well as treating both children with oxygen to ensure their lungs were clear of the smoke and soot in the air." She placed a kind hand on Kirishima's shoulder then. "Please take comfort in the fact that you did good, Mr. Kirishima. You were a hero to those children, and were able to keep them safe."
A shaky breath left Kirishima at that, wiping his face down with one hand as he nodded. "I will. Thank you."
Dr. Higurashi pulled her hand away at that, her smile becoming slightly more stern as she looked back at her clipboard. "From this initial, simple, un-intrusive examination, it would appear you have post-traumatic amnesia, but due to the nature of your hero work, the stress your mind and body can both be constantly put under, as well as your known past traumas, I would be remiss if I didn't also consider dissociative amnesia as well. Post-traumatic amnesia is explanatory in and of itself, and is most common after significant head injury, like what you suffered through while fighting that villain. That being said, dissociative amnesia is linked to both traumatic and intensely stressful events. Be it being in combat from war or hero work, built up traumas, or abuse of any kind: mental, emotional, physical, sexual. Additionally, 'stress' doesn't inherently refer to physical stress. It could apply to stress in personal relationships, in your home life, financial stress, or even stress about your job. Being a hero isn't just public appearances and fights with villains, after all. You also have the internal workings of the Hero Association, be it paperwork, mentoring young work studies, or anything else few and far in between."
Placing her clipboard on her lap, Dr. Higurashi looked towards Kirishima once more. "Simply put, your memory loss could simply be the result of the blunt force trauma you received, or it could be the result of stress and traumas that have built up over time, and the blow to your head was simply the straw that broke the camel's back. However, the fact that you were able to recall all that information is promising regardless of the prognosis. And while I don't like that you recalled such information during a moment of emotional duress for your friend, its a hopeful sign that this likely isn't a permanent affliction for you." With an exhale, Dr. Higurashi stood from the chair, beginning to walk back towards the foot of Kirishima's hospital bed. "Tomorrow, we'll run a few more in-depth tests on you, and I'll go over your injuries in more detail with you then, so as not to overwhelm your right now. For now, I'll leave you to Mr. Bakugo and Ms. Ashido's company. Visiting hours are almost over for the night, so I wouldn't want to rob you of your time with Ms. Ashido." Leaning down slightly, she left the clipboard inside a small box at the foot of Kirishima's bed, before nodding. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me or ask of me before I send them in?"
Kirishima blinked as he processed her words, frowning slightly before nodding at her. "I... I think I remembered something else, something earlier, when Mina was talking with me. But... I don't think it relates to how I got here?"
The doctor's head tilted slightly at that. "Oh?"
"I remembered..." Kirishima's hands curled into gentle fists, a hum escaping him before he continued. "I remembered feeling worried? Anxious? But desperate. I can't fully remember where I was or when it was, but I could hear someone's voice. Then my own, yelling. Then the next thing I know, Bakugo's hand is in mine, and it's... relieving." His fists tighten then, wishing Bakugo was in the room to help fill in the missing gaps.
"Can you recall what all was said?"
He nods. "The voice I can't place simply said: 'It has to be you.' And then I hear myself yelling out: 'Come on.'"
There's no look of recognition on Dr. Higurashi's face, from what Kirishima can tell, simply intrigue as she pulls the clipboard up once more, beginning to write in it again. "Tell me, was there emotional duress that proceeded this flash of a memory too?"
"Kinda?" Kirishima sighs, one of his fists relaxing so that he could rub the back of his neck with that hand. "Bakugo was asleep, and Mina had been talking loud enough to kinda stir him? So she quieted down, and I'd asked what his name was, cuz she'd just called him 'Blasty' before. She seemed sad that I couldn't remember his name, couldn't remember him, so she listed off some nicknames he goes by, and when I couldn't remember, I guess I started crying out of frustration. She hugged me, and then told me his name, and then when I turned to look at him, I saw his hand holding mine and it... came to me."
Dr. Higurashi says nothing, simply nodding as she continues scribbling down notes on the clipboard. It makes Kirishima feel a little uneasy, honestly, but when she puts the clipboard back down, there's a fond smile on her face. "Thank you for sharing this information with me. It seems as though it wasn't emotional duress that helped you recall that, but rather the knowledge of his name and the sight of your hands conjoined. Unfortunately, I can't tell you what significance this fragment of memory holds for you, as it's presumably from a different case than the one that landed you in the hospital in the first place, or something that's happened in your personal, private life. While I would advise you taking it easy for tonight, and not trying to force yourself to remember too much at once for fear of the mental, emotional, and psychological repercussions it might have, perhaps maybe sharing that information with Mr. Bakugo himself might provide a little clarity for you."
Kirishima opens his mouth to reply, but closes it quickly upon realizing he doesn't exactly know what to say. Instead, he simply nods. "Yes ma'am. Thank you."
The doctor nods in response and turns to head out of the room, leaving Kirishima alone for the first time since waking up.
_____________________
The sound of his room's door opening causes Kirishima to open his eyes in response. He blinks the world back into focus, unsure of exactly at what point he'd drifted off, but the clock that had read half past seven when he'd woken up now reads a quarter past nine. A groan leaves him as he uses a hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes, pausing only when he sees Bakugo staring back at him, frozen mid-step, akin to a child that had been caught stealing out of the cookie jar.
A weird bundle of nerves begins to gather inside of Kirishima as he eyes lock onto Bakugo's, and he slowly lowers his hand from his face, looking directly at the blond. "...Hey."
Bakugo exhales, looking away from Kirishima's gaze then. "...Hey."
An awkward silence settles between them, before Bakugo relaxes somewhat, folding his arms, and glancing back to Kirishima, looking over him once. "...Sorry 'bout wakin' you up."
Kirishima blinks at that, before holding his hands up. "It's all good, man, no harm done." He watches as Bakugo's gaze shifts again, the blond looking over towards the other bed in the room, before looking towards the chair he'd previously been sitting in instead. A scoff leaves Bakugo before he moves to the seat, sitting by Kirishima's bedside once again. His arms are folded against his chest, and he props his feet up on the edge of Kirishima's bed, lowering his head somewhat, chin resting against his chest as his eyes close. Again, there's an awkward silence, causing Kirishima to chew on his lower lip slightly. "...You're not gonna fall asleep there, are you? That might not be good for your wounds, dude."
Bakugo opens an eye then. "...You want me to fuck off to bed?"
Tensing slightly at his words, Kirishima blanches a bit, and swallows. "I didn't say that!" His hands fly back up in surrender, trying to show he meant no ill will. "If you wanna sit here and like, talk or something, that's totally cool, dude! I just don't want you to fall asleep in a weird position and wake up in pain or something! That'd be really unmanly of me to just let you... do..." Kirishima falters then, blinking as he lowers his hands, a frown taking place on his lips as he looks down at them. Why had he defaulted to the word 'unmanly'? He could have said anything; 'Inconsiderate', 'Rude', 'Asshole-ish' even. So why 'Unmanly'?
And why did it come so naturally?
Upon realizing Bakugo hasn't said anything in this mini-freak out moment, Kirishima looks up from his hands over to the blond, whose red eyes are wide. There's a look akin to hope on Bakugo's face before he seems to register Kirishima is looking at him, and that look is quickly replaced by a strange type of hesitancy, an unease as Bakugo seems to think about what he wants to say next. However, nothing seems to come out.
Kirishima looks over Bakugo once, before looking at the clock. "...I guess visiting hours are over?" He asks, a sad smile tugging at his lips. "Dr. Higurashi said they'd be over soon." It'd explain why Mina hadn't come back yet, despite the doctor's attempt to give her more time before visiting hours ended.
"Would you rather Raccoon Eyes be here, instead?" Bakugo asks, causing Kirishima to look back at him. While the blond's words seemed harsh, there was something in his voice that sounded unsure, almost hesitant.
For a brief moment, he mentally compared navigating talking to Bakugo like navigating a minefield, an explosion waiting to go off. But while the strange association of 'explosion' and 'Bakugo' seemed to slot together smoothly in his head, he felt guilty about the comparison. Navigating a minefield was a task seen as treacherous, absolutely unpleasant in every way, shape, and form. That didn't feel like it fit with Bakugo at all. Maybe... a mouse in a maze instead? Mazes were a thought-inducing task, but there were no negative connotations to them, right? Minefields were about life or death; Mazes were about reaching a goal. Currently, Kirishima himself was the mouse, traversing conversation with Bakugo was the maze... so was feeling more at ease the cheese at the end of goal? Feeling more secure? There was something more there, something just out of grasp that he couldn't place.
"I mean, Mina was nice," He answers after taking a moment to remember that Bakugo had called Mina 'Raccoon Eyes' earlier, "and she's apparently my best friend? Or one of my best friends, but she claims seniority? But I don't think I'd rather her be here than you." Though to be honest with himself, Kirishima didn't like that Bakugo was hurt and in the hospital like he was. At the same time, he didn't really want to be alone either. "Why do you call her that anyway?"
Bakugo grunted, shifting in his seat slightly, crossing one leg over the other. "... Doc said you remembered the fight." It wasn't a question, Kirishima noted, but there was something about the way Bakugo said it that seemed almost like... like he was testing the waters?
"Kinda, yeah." Kirishima nodded, looking back down. "I don't remember everything; It picks up for me noticing those kids for the first time, hearing them and turning to look at them."
"...What's the last thing you remember?"
There's something in Bakugo's voice that Kirishima can't quite place, can't quite name. He would put thought into trying to decipher it, but he can't help the sudden tightness in his chest, the sudden influx of emotions he feels as he recalls the blond's frantic, tear-stained face in his mind's eye. The feeling of warm hands holding him, forcing Kirishima to look up at him. The immediate shift from fear and desperation at thinking the villain was coming for the kids, to unmitigated relief upon realizing it was Katsuki, Katsuki, not the villain.
Kirishima opens his mouth, intending to say something along the lines of 'Honestly? You, Bakugo.' but pauses when he replays those last moments in his head again. His brows furrow as he remembers the tumultuous typhoon of emotions as he thought the villain was approaching him and the children, how he initially wanted to fight against those hands on him, the way he was able to relax when he saw it was... Katsuki. How Katsuki's lips moved, how Katsuki's words were falling on deaf ears. How relieved he was it was Katsuki, not the villain. How he wanted to say or do something to ease the frantic look on Katsuki's face. How after he'd coughed up blood Katsuki tensed. His vision darkening as all he sees is Katsuki's lips moving. The world going silent after hearing Katsuki scream "Eijirou!".
His mind replays that fragment of a memory, again hears the stranger's voice say: "It has to be you." Again hears himself scream, desperate: "Come on!" He looks at Bakugo then, and there must be some kinda look on his face, because Bakugo is sitting up now, his feet pulled off the edge of Kirishima's bed, his head upright as he looks at Kirishima, his face trying to remain stoic, but there's a belying concern in his gaze.
"Eijirou?"
That sudden tightness in Kirishima's chest constricts further at Bakugo's voice, and he can't tear his gaze away from the blond. His hands are trembling. Why is it always 'Katsuki' in these memories, not 'Bakugo'? There's something there. Kirishima can't place it. Its right there, but its not. Whatever it is, it's wanting to burst out - but he doesn't know how to let it. Like an wild animal in a trap, it's fighting, thrashing against the confines, desperate, desperate, desperate.
"Ever since you met him," The stranger's voice is back, "You've built a solid relationship with Kacchan, as equals." Why does he inherently know the stranger's talking about Katsuki? "If it's you that calls to him... He'll listen!"
"Shit, Ei, I-- Fuck, I shouldn't have--"
Kirishima's body moves before he can think.
His arm is outstretched towards Bakugo, hand trembling violently. The desperation is still tempestuous inside him, the tears burning in his eyes. He wants the blond's hand in his, needs it. Why? There's significance behind it. But he can't place it. Come on.
Bakugo's hand unwaiveringly clasps onto his, gripping tight. There's no hesitancy, no trace of unsure emotions as he stares Kirishima down. His lips are drawn tight, but not in a way that denotes anger or irritation. But the blond's gaze is intense. It's like he's trying to get a message across without speaking, trying to project it from his mind into Kirishima's. Kirishima's gaze falters under the pressure, and he looks to their hands, reflexively tightening his grip on Bakugo.
And he sees it.
There's two people, each on one side of him. The cold is biting at his skin, the rushing wind amplifying the dropped temperature, but he doesn't care, he'd freeze a thousand times over if it meant saving Katsuki. He's in the air, along with the people hanging off his sides. He whips his head around, his gaze narrowing in on Katsuki, who looks like an ant from this perspective. But even with the distance, their gazes lock and he throws his arm out and screams, "Come on!". And Katsuki does. He's blasting through the air, aiming straight for him. His hand slams into his, and Katsuki breaks out into a grin Kirishima can only describe as feral, eyes wide a mix of fear and relief and amusement and trust. And Katsuki speaks through his smile, his voice clear, even above the rushing wind around them. "You idiot!"
The tears are trailing down Kirishima's face now, but he's composed enough to say, "You're safe." He looks up at Bakugo in time to see the blond's jaw tighten slightly, and nod in response.
"I'm safe." His voice is gruff, but soft. It's comforting. Red eyes never leave him as Bakugo repeats back, "You're safe."
Something about the way he says that causes Kirishima to inhale sharply, as little flashes play in his head. Katsuki's there with him. They're both younger. They're in a dorm. Neighbors? Late night. Shared beds. Curled up next to one another. His bed one night. "You're safe," He says. Nightmares. Katsuki's breathing erracticly. "I'm safe," Katsuki exhales. His bed another night. More nightmares. "You're safe." He says again. Katsuki reaches for his hand. "I'm safe," Katsuki replies. Katsuki's bed now. New nightmares. He's the one trembling this time, he's the one unable to breathe properly. "You made it, Eijirou. You helped Fat." Katsuki murmurs. Foreheads pressed together. "You're safe." The mental image of a flurry of punches, of a man in a yellow hoodie suffering. "You're safe." Reassurance. Fingers dig into the back of Katsuki's shirt. "I'm safe," he replies shakily. Katsuki shifts. They're reaching for each others' hands. "I'm safe."
"I..." Kirishima's voice trembles, and he swallows. "I'm... safe."
The reaction from them both is instant. For Bakugo, it's like the tension in his strings have snapped, and he finally allows himself to breathe, his shoulders slumping slightly, his eyes closing momentarily, but his hand never waivers in its grip of Kirishima's. For Kirishima, it feels as though a door has been opened, and Katsuki's waiting for him on the other side. Like a dam has burst, cracking under the pressure built up inside. His grip too, never waivers.
"I'm safe." Kirishima repeats again, reassurance and support and comfort and trust and an amalgamation of so many different feelings bubbling up from inside of him. It's almost overwhelming, the tears pouring down his face seemingly endless in their flow. "I'm safe, Katsuki."
He hears Bakugo mutter a soft 'fuck' under his breath, before the blond gets up from his chair, sliding into the hospital bed next to Kirishima, never letting go of his hand the entire time. Kirishima doesn't hesitate to slide to one side of the bed to give Bakugo some room, the two of them barely able to fit on the single bed together. Neither seems to mind though, as Bakugo gets under the covers, their bodies slotting next to each other damn near perfectly, and only once they've settled do they let go of each others' hands. Bakugo's quick to clutch onto the front of Kirishima's hospital gown, and press his head against his shoulder, and as Kirishima looks down, he notices the subtle shake of Bakugo's shoulders, notices the hushed sniffles, the attempts to steady his breathing. Kirishima wastes no time in wrapping his arms around the other male, rubbing one hand up and down his back reassuringly.
Bakugo seems to settle after a few moments, and unlike the awkward silences that happened previously, this one is far more tolerable, comfortable, almost.
Resting his chin atop Bakugo's head, Kirishima speaks. "...What are we, exactly?" His voice is gentle, and while his hand has ceased rubbing Bakugo's back, both his thumbs brush circles at his shoulder blades. "You're... important. I know that. You feel safe, comforting. Like home." Bakugo huffs a laugh, and Kirishima can feel the reverberations from the action under his hands. "But you're more than that, aren't you? Honestly, if you had asked me like, 10 minutes ago, I woulda said we were like, cousins or something, but--"
"Cousins?!" Bakugo rears his head back, and for a moment, Kirishima fears someone has switched out the Bakugo from moments ago with a demon or something with how angrily flabberghasted he looks. "Your dumb ass fucking thought we were cousins?!"
Kirishima raises his hands then, laughing awkwardly as Bakugo glares up at him. "Mina was talking to me about best friends, but mentioned some people named Sero and Kaminari, not you! She only mentioned you after! And the doctor only kicked out Mina when she said she only wanted family in the room! And we both have red eyes, apparently! I'm sorry, its not like--"
"Augh, shut up!" Bakugo groaned, leaning up to knock his forehead against Kirishima's. "Goddamnit, Eijirou, I'd ask you to remind me why I love your dumb ass, but you wouldn't know how to answer, would you?"
Love. Kirishima's eyes go wide at the spoken word, and that something inside of them that was wanting to get out - regardless of the semi-sated state it'd fallen into after the two curled up next to each other - feels like it'd finally been freed. Like a bird let loose from it's cage, Kirishima's heart fluttered in his chest, his mouth tearing into a wide, toothy grin.
Bakugo watches as the pieces seem to fall into place for Kirishima, and grins himself. "We're engaged, idiot. You fuckin' proposed to me several months ago, even though we agreed neither one of us would make any big purchases because we're trying to save for our own Hero Agency. But you went behind my back and surprised me, not lettin' me be the one to fuckin' propose because you're a sentimental bastard."
Kirishima can't help the way a warmth blooms in his chest, upon his face. He can't suppress the laugh that bubbles out of him, gently pressing his forehead against Bakugo's as the blond rolls his eyes with a smirk. "For all those angry sounding words, I'm guessing you weren't that upset," Kirishima manages to get out in between breaths of laughter, "since you apparently said yes."
With a 'tch!', Bakugo moved one of his hands to shove Kirishima's face away from him, though there was no real force behind the action, and he moreso just smooshed Kirishima's face than actually pushed him away. "Real snarky talk, comin' from someone who can't remember in the first place." There was a brief moment where Kirishima tensed at Bakugo's words, feeling guilty that the blond was right; That he couldn't remember proposing in the first place. He realized Bakugo must have noticed, because the hand that had been smooshing his face twitched, before pulling back some. "Fuck, Ei, I--"
A sad smile tugged at Kirishima's lips then, and he moved one of his hands from Bakugo's back to grab at the hand that Bakugo had been pulling away. He heard Bakugo's breath hitch as they hands slipped into one anothers' easily, and as Kirishima pulled them towards his lips, brushing his lips gently against Bakugo's knuckles. He looked up at Bakugo upon hearing the blond exhale, red eyes meeting red. "It's fine, Katsuki." Everytime he said the blond's name, it was like his heart would skip a beat. It felt good, felt right, felt so much more natural than simply 'Bakugo'. "You'll help me remember, won't you?"
Bakugo's eyes go wide at that, before his brows furrow and a look of fierce determination burns brightly in his expression. "What kind of fucking question is that?" He half-growls, before lowering their hands from Kirishima's face and quickly crashing their lips together. Kirishima's suprised at the action, but finds himself easily falling into it, as Bakugo secures his grip in Kirishima's, holding onto it like a lifeline, and moves his free hand to hold the back of Kirishima's neck. Kissing Bakugo is like saying the blond's given name; it feels right. Feels like home.
But Kirishima's quick to pick up on the desperation in the kiss, on an urgency, an insistency that begins to set a worried flame alight in his gut. He breaks the kiss and opens his eyes, slightly breathless as his gaze falls upon Bakugo's face.
Katsuki's crying.
Its not a body wracking sob like Kirishima himself had been letting out earlier, it's calm and silent, aside from the faint trembling Bakugo seems to be attempting to suppress and the small tears slowly making their way out of closed eyes. Kirishima's quick to let go of Bakugo's hand to instead cup the side of his face, his thumb brushing away the tears that fall near it. "Katsuki?"
Bakugo leans into the touch, but his lips curl in on themselves, and he shakes his head slightly. He breathes out of his nose, quiet for a few seconds before speaking. "... I thought I fuckin' lost you, Eijirou." His voice is soft, so goddamn soft. It's soft and vulnerable-sounding and shaky and everything in Kirishima's brain is saying is not very Katsuki. Bakugo's eyes open then, and Kirishima's stomach churns at the desperation that's hidden behind a forced mask of faux intimidation. "If you ever put me through the same hell that the past damn near 36 hours have been ever again, I'll fuckin' kill you myself, got it?"
Kirishima finds himself nodding, lips wobbling as he recalls the memory of Katsuki yelling out his name as he passed out in the blond's arms, of the tears the blond shed, the twisted, tense expression he wore. He recalls Mina's words about how badly he was injured, about how long he was in surgery, about how Katsuki was apparently a mess the whole time. How he'd apparently been unconscious for over 24 hours. Kirishima shifts then, the movement awkward as he pulls his other arm out from under Bakugo, but he's quick to place that hand on the other side of Bakugo's face. "Katsuki..." Kirishima leans in, presses their lips together gently for a brief moment before pulling away, though Bakugo's quick to chases after him, insistent on another peck of a kiss, and another, and another. Kirishima eventually pulls away though, if only slightly. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Every fucking time I'd close my eyes, I'd see you coughing up blood in my arms." Bakugo's eyes are closed again, his head shaking slightly from side to side as he spoke. "I'd see you pass out, you going fucking limp in my fucking arms, and--" He cuts himself off, brows furrowing as his nose scrunched. "I shoulda noticed those kids before then, shouldn'ta let that damn villain catch me off guard, shouldn'ta--"
"Katsuki--"
"They said you had a goddamn seizure in the operating room." Bakugo's breathing has become somewhat ragged by this point, and the hand of his that Kirishima had previously been holding moves up to grab one of Kirishima's wrists. "They said that if it wasn't for the fact that your hardening had at least managed to reach the base of your neck, then the impact mighta fuckin'--"
Bakugo's cut off by Kirishima's lips pressing against his, gentle in their empathetic insistence. Whatever words the blond was going to say died in his throat as he kissed Kirishima back, grip on his wrist tight. Upon feeling Kirishima's thumbs brush away at his gradually slowing tears, Bakugo pulled away, cursing softly under his breath, nudging his forehead against Kirishima's as he opens his eyes. "Eijirou, I--"
"Tell me tomorrow." Kirishima murmurs softly, shaking his head ever so slightly. "Dr. Higurashi said she'd tell me about my injuries and stuff tomorrow after a few more tests, so tell me then. For now..." He pulls his hands away then, using his arm to wrap back around Bakugo, hugging him close, "I just wanna lay here, holding you."
A huff of a laugh escapes Bakugo then, and he pulls his head away from Kirishima, slotting it instead snugly on Kirishima's shoulder, his temple pressing against Kirishima's neck. He stays silent though, a notion Kirishima doesn't argue or press against, and the two fall into an eased state, tangled up in each other. There's a brief thought in Kirishima's head of 'The hospital staff would probably prefer Katsuki be in his own bed', but 1) Kirishima doesn't want the blond to leave his arms, and 2) he figures should totally be fine since they're engaged, right?
One of Kirishima's hands moves upwards to the back of Bakugo's head, threading his fingers through the other male's hair. He hears a hum of contentment leave Bakugo, and smiles to himself, leaning the side of his head against the blond's. After a moment, Kirishima speaks. "... Hey, Katsuki?" A grunt of acknowledgement is all the response he gets from Bakugo, but its half-hearted, and Kirishima can't tell if Bakugo's even fully awake or not. Regardless, he continues. "If one good thing came out of this," he says with soft smile, "its that I get to fall in love with you all over again."
Bakugo tenses in Kirishima's hold, and pulls away from his spot to look at fiancé. There's a vibrant flush of color spread along his cheeks, all the way to the tips of his ears, and his expression is contorted into a flustered mess, though its apparent he's actively trying to keep it schooled and steely. Its enough to jar Kirishima just a slight bit, and he opens his mouth to say something, but Bakugo beats him to the punch.
"You absolute bastard." He says, the corners of his lips fighting against the urge to curl upwards in amusement. "You sentimental-ass motherfucker." He's visibly losing the fight, shaking his head as his body trembles, though whether its out of amusement or frustration, Kirishima can't fully tell. "You fucking--" Bakugo finally gives in to the urge to laugh, the sound soft and in the back of his throat. "I can't believe you."
Kirishima finds there's a bright smile tugging at his own lips, and soon he's laughing as well, the two of them tangled up in each other, in their own little bubble of comfort, if only for the time being.
"I can't believe I love your dumb ass." Bakugo groans through a smile, shaking his head before nuzzling back into his previous position, pressing a kiss to Kirishima's neck. Kirishima just laughs, and pulls the covers up on them a little more, snuggling up against both the bed and Bakugo. He wants to stay up longer, wants to spend more time talking with Katsuki, holding and feeling and experiencing Katsuki, wants to prolong the inevitablility of the morning's coming, of the solemn seriousness that's going to come with the beginning of his road to recovery.
But he knows one thing.
He trusts Katsuki to be there with him every step of the way. He trusts Katsuki to always have a hand out for him, to help him when he needs it. He might not have his memories, but there is one thing he's absolutely sure of. His trust... his faith in Katsuki? It's solid, it's steadfast, it's resolute.
It's unbreakable.
It's unwaivering.
