deadass

eric | 24 | anxiety

[barkbones-blog]

i remember veronica saying it sounded shallow though and honestly i agree because i dont know how to make an apology sound sincere without acknowledging that im a piece of shit and i cant say that without it coming off as guilt tripping. im sorry for that too i guess.

[barkbones-blog]

*sees that my reference for the rest of the shit i need to apologize for has been deleted* fuck

[barkbones-blog]

to be clear i turned 17 literally 15 minutes after the callout was posted

[chimichanguns-archive-blog]

i removed josh from skype months ago but iirc he had his skype saying he was like 19/20/21 or smth for a while because i remember being super fucking surprised when he said smth about being in high school and i went to look at his skype profile to see ifi t said anything and i was wondering how tf someone that old was still in high school like he didnt even tell me how old he is, i dont even actually know anything outside of him being in high school and allegedly being close to 18 so. yknow. the whole lying about his age thing

[barkbones-blog]

it was more me putting in a random date than me trying to lie but sorry about that too

[barkbones-blog]

new main is @hatebites

[barkbones-blog]

anyways im gonnna take a hiatus? maybe for a week or two but maybe longer idk. ill still log in a couple times a day to see if i need to talk about something but dont expect any of eric bc my muse for him is busted to hell rn

[barkbones-blog]

public apologies never sound sincere enough tto me but im here anyways because it really needs to be done.

im going to cover what i can without taking a thousand years to write this so im probably going to leave out specific instances but if you need me to address them separately i will i just want to get this down.

firstly im really. REALLY sorry to anyone whos felt that theyve been coerced or otherwise pressured into speaking to and interacting with me. communication is important to me and ive let that get ahead of other peoples comfort sometimes to keep my own anxiety at bay. whether ive meant to or not (because i do remember a couple instances of making efforts to get people talking to me) im sorry ive made anyone feel like theyve needed to talk to me after theyve made clear efforts to cut me off.

secondly but i hope most obviously, im sorry for not making my status as a minor readily available on my about pages for so many months. i recognize that i couldve gotten a lot of people in trouble by discussing nsfw topics and writing smut with them without their knowledge of my being a minor, and i shouldve learned from my mistake the first time someone had a minor breakdown over it. because. wow. yeah that was. fuck dude i wish i wouldve fixed that sooner.

i also need to apologize for shittalking about uh. i dont know if ill be able to @them but im gonna try. @purpl3hazze @irepyre a good many of the superhero timeline but most of the comments were a general swing to the timeline as a whole so just. everyone whos involved with that im sorry.

i also want to apologize to anyone whos ever avoided a mun because ive said they make me uncomfortable because of personal reasons because i assure you some of them are really cool people and im put off by someone even showing disinterest in me so its usually not even a problem with them so. yes theres that. and to the muns whove BEEN avoided because i said i was uncomfortable with you. the most prominent of which i remember being @meanrobin.

im certainly. and very loudly sorry to anyone whos felt coerced into writing or talking about smut with me. and im sorry to anyone whos tried to make it clear to me they were uncomfortable with the subject and i missed the hint or whatever else. (”whatever else” being @psychometrick i think because you told me you werent comfortable w that and i sent you an inappropriate joke that i shouldnt have i wont do that again.)

and im sorry to anyone who has complaints that ive forgotten about entirely due to my own shit memory and no one having reminded me. im sure there are some of you theres been a lot i think.

@winidead im so sorry that you were so afraid to tell me you werent ok with my behavior. you and lily were really good friends to me even through it and im sorry that i couldnt be a better one to you guys.

[barkbones-blog]

i need someone to read this for me before i post it

[barkbones-blog]

to be clear that  wasnt the Official Apology that was just an apology hold on im gonna start writing it

[barkbones-blog]

im not being flippant about making people uncomfortable. as someone with severe (social related) anxiety nothing hurts me more than knowing that people are not only uncomfortable with me but afraid to talk to me about why theyre uncomfortable with me. and im so fucking sorry ive given you reason to be afraid whether intentionally or not.

[barkbones-blog]

thats not even mentioning the misinfo on the original callout but ill make another post about that if i need to just let me apologize and let me work on it my own fucking self

[spaceheater]

Alright so this has been a long time coming. a callout post for @barkbones mun Josh

it’s kind of hard because josh is a minor so like. OOH! We don’t want to be the big mean adults picking on the kid or whatever but Josh has been told several times that his behavior is unacceptable and at this point this is pretty much what needs to be done?

Josh has, on several occasions

lied about his age in order to write smut with adults

harassed people into trying to talk to them after he’s been blocked (because they were clearly uncomfortable with talking with hm anymore)

starts way too much sexual shit with adults, who have made it clear they are uncomfortable with that, and have tried to coerce them into talking about smut with them

has consistently played the role of the victim when being called out on shitty behavior, refuses to acknowledge any wrong, and when he does it’s always a big pity party sort of thing

constantly vagueblogs 

tries to guilt trip people into not rping with others that he doesn’t like

if somebody calls him out on his Bad Behavior he immediately says he’s not comfortable with them at all, which is pretty shifty, rather than owning up to it

he’s a cis male who tends to over sexualize his own female muses, as well as other’s female muses? he’s also played a lot of wlw characters for what seems like, exclusively for the smut

so, yeah. tbh im writing this up because there’s plenty of other people who are scared to?? which is kind of fucked up? like, a lot of people have been having problems with this kid which is even more fucked up so like,, yeah. w/e lmao. i have pneumonia but feel free to hmu let’s go

[sightbind]

constant and overbearing art/attention grubbing, his?? bizarre attempts at coaching others on how to play their characters (situations where he’s beat them over the head with questions until they were essentially too discouraged to even continue rping them much less speak on potential ideas or headcanons), and!!!! the unabashed amount of shittalking he partakes in????? especially abt people he continues to rp with to this day like. he’ll take the time to assure everyone that he’s patched up all the holes and repaired every friendship but then:

[11/25/2015 10:27:07 PM] meat lord: ari sofstheshit said shes gonna apply [11/25/2015 10:28:19 PM] meat lord: im … ssorry but if she joins i might [11/25/2015 10:28:21 PM] meat lord: fade out [11/25/2015 10:28:38 PM] meat lord: she wants to put sofie in as a hufflepuff [11/25/2015 10:30:43 PM] meat lord: im sorry i am just [11/25/2015 10:31:06 PM] meat lord: not overly comfortable with aris muses and im already feeling unsteady in here u kno

—

[11/22/2015 9:35:15 PM] meat lord: harley asked me if she should apply again and i was like… h a ha… you should but man sorry the apps are closed…

—

[11/1/2015 11:14:42 PM] fuck clown: u might remember be from the debacle with the super hero timwline and possibly the incredible amount kf shit that harley talked about me

—

all of which was posted in a public timeline chat, all entirely unwarranted. the last one was literally his hand at an introduction

obviously you’re allowed to feel certain ways about people and their characters, i’d never think to suggest otherwise. but the fact that he. continues to rp and speak to said people he claims to be made uncomfortable by is. sort of nonsensical and incredibly two-faced

and honestly the only reason this isn’t swimming in notes is because of the sheer amount of followers josh has somehow managed to amass through both guilt-tripping and manipulation

no one’s telling him to leave the rping scene forever or whatever but his? unbelievable flippancy regarding very serious issues and people actively being afraid of both ic and ooc confrontation from him is so so so childish and unnecessary? people are genuinely afraid of you. you make people nervous and uncomfortable and anxious. don’t treat this entire situation as a joke. you don’t get a free pass for messing up like this because you’re a minor. it’s still fucked up

[barkbones-blog]

hi id like to address this 

i have been fully guillty of shittalking and of character coaching. it was bad. it was the same person too. i really didnt like the person at the time i was just being really shitty. ill cover that in an apology but what i want to talk about these excerpts

[11/25/2015 10:27:07 PM] meat lord: ari sofstheshit said shes gonna apply [11/25/2015 10:28:19 PM] meat lord: im … ssorry but if she joins i might [11/25/2015 10:28:21 PM] meat lord: fade out [11/25/2015 10:28:38 PM] meat lord: she wants to put sofie in as a hufflepuff [11/25/2015 10:30:43 PM] meat lord: im sorry i am just [11/25/2015 10:31:06 PM] meat lord: not overly comfortable with aris muses and im already feeling unsteady in here u kno

these are. really really old. months old. and genuinely expressing my discomfort with sofie (sofie specifically, ive never ever had a problem with ari shes only ever been anything but kind to me) and my opinion still hasnt changed i was really uncomfortable with sofie at that time because of a lot of recent events with garth and chansa but that really issnt something im goinng to get into here.

just as a side note id like 2 add that i have a screenshot of how mahina reacted to ari asking if she could add sofie to the timeline and it was literally just “PANIC(TM)”

[11/22/2015 9:35:15 PM] meat lord: harley asked me if she should apply again and i was like… h a ha… you should but man sorry the apps are closed…

what i would like to go into was that not letting harley into the timeline was a group decision. dont fucking pin this on me??? no one was willing to turn her down, so i volunteered because id been talking to her. i went about it wrong and should have just told her flat out but please dont make it look like i was just being an asshole for fun

[11/1/2015 11:14:42 PM] fuck clown: u might remember be from the debacle with the super hero timwline and possibly the incredible amount kf shit that harley talked about me

THIS was just in poor taste and i apologize for that too 

“honestly the only reason this isn’t swimming in notes is because of the sheer amount of followers josh has somehow managed to amass through both guilt-tripping and manipulation”

ive amassed followers because ive been roleplaying here for like 2 1/2 years not because of any manipulation or guilt tripping bc trust me i remember having ACTUALLY tried to manipulate and guilt trip people a longass time ago and all it did was make enemies for me so please dont insult me on top of calling me out because ill fucking call myself out i know what i did and im entirely ready to admit to it. 

this entire situation is most certainly not a fucking joke but hey curse me for not wanting to be reminded of all this 15 minutes before midnight on the night before my birthday.

ive never wanted a free pass. i STILL dont want a free pass. i want you guys to stop posting out of context quotes from me that make me look like a bad guy and accusing me of lying to people outright about my age, because ive already done enough shit that i still need to apologize publicly for without you tacking filler info onto it

[barkbones-blog]

i wouldnt purposely do tgat to anyone??? its bad enough that i forgot to tell them id really appreciate it if yiu didnt tell people i did it on purpose when ive told you so many times that it wasnt

[barkbones-blog]

what the fuck. ive never purposely witheld that i was underage. ive never outright lied to anyone about it either??. what the fuck afe you talking about. id @you but i cant on this browser but in what instance have i ever done either of those things

[spaceheater]

hi. i just want to point out that josh, with his current blogging situation has no way to access a rules page or even know it exists unless it's linked in someone's description and visible on their mobile theme OR it's directly linked to him (he literally uses the browser that pops up when you get a link on skype. he doesn't have the mobile app or any access to any other browser.) i just feel it should be taken into account. in the future he should Ask people about rules though

If he has access to both tumblr and skype on his phone then he can literally plug in the blog address and look at it on his mobile browser. It’s not that hard. I do it and i know others who do it all the time. not a valid excuse.

[barkbones-blog]

theres a block on my mobile browser and i dont have tumblr mobile the skype app is all i got dude

[skcb]

@barkbones halfassed but…..(ass) (ref)

[flexemojis]

@latulasuggestion @barkbones @windicksy

here are ur drawings for the sketch meme!!