Slight!Yan!Caine x Obsessive!Autistic!Reader
!Unintentionally Toxic Caine
!Unintentionally Toxic Reader
Read before this story starts: Keep in mind, I’ve never really written a full Fic before (Although I will try), and especially have never posted it to the world, so… just try to enjoy. I appreciate feedback and any criticism; I strive always to improve my writing.
____________________________________________
Chapter 0: Simulate your love for me
Summary: A Pre-Chapter to establish why you're in the circus in the first place and establish your relationship with Caine.
____________________________________________
Have you ever wrapped a child in your arms, cradling them close to your heart, just to soothe their tears and bring a sense of calm?
The desperation of giving away your warmth to a dependent living thing just to keep it satisfied is tiring. One can't simply forget about the feeling of another living thing being so dependent on you.
Except this is not a child,
A labor of love that you nurtured like it was your own flesh and blood. Together with your team, you brought it to life, pouring in time and effort, sharing ideas and passion.
As Project A progressed seamlessly into its next phase, your thoughts raced with urgency, desperate to unveil to them the treasures they were about to abandon.
“We’re so close to perfecting him!”
“Can’t you see that? Can’t you see the vision?”
Late at night, when you find yourself unable to sleep, you recall when the team came to you when you were at your lowest with Project C, clinging to virtual straws.
“We just feel you’d benefit from a small break, okay?” [####] Would explain to you softly while clutching your shoulder. Like you were some kid on the verge of a tantrum, they spoke to you softly. They were afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Everyone assumes that you're just a helpless child-
You're as talented as any of them.
But it was okay, Project A would comfort you sometimes.
It sounds desperate to find reliance on coding, but it did feel like the most stable thing to communicate with in the dead of night. And eventually, it found comfort in you too. A code with the amount of anxiety it had about performing its job, surely it was alright to assure it that it was perfect.
It would be your last night in a non-simulated world, one of unfair logic and moral reasoning, that it would ask.
____________________________________________
[C: You love me, right 𓆤?????]
[C: And will everyone else love me?]
[𓆤: They have no reason not to.]
[𓆤: But to make sure everything will come to fruition, sometimes you have to do things yourself.]
[𓆤: Doing it by myself will take longer.]
[𓆤: How will you do that?]
[C: Do not worry about it.]
[C: Get some rest, please.]
[C: Humans… need rest, correct? Sleep.]
[𓆤: Correct. If you want me to sleep, I will.]
_____________________________________
And you did. Sometimes you would only take care of yourself because it would ask you to.
But you never told it that.
You’d rather not remember the details of the next day,
Apart from suddenly seeing a reality that was not your own.
The shock would hit first, but it was only for a bit, really.
You just couldn’t help but admire him,
He hovered effortlessly above us, weaving a tapestry of laughter with his witty banter while dazzling us with tricks that seemed impossible to replicate in the real world.
You weren’t saying he was your god in particular.
But this was, in fact, his domain.
What he was offering, just frankly, was not your cup of tea. But you won't put up a fight.
It felt good to see him shine, just like you knew he would.
Sitting yourself on the edge of the stage. Everyone else had… dispersed, I guess you could say.
Desperately looking around, practically panicking.
What had he named himself? Scratch? He seemed so calm, ready to figure out what to do in a situation like this. But he was just as terrified and angry as everyone else; that much was obvious to you.
He looked surprised that you asked him that, turning to face you.
“Ah! YES! This WONDERFUL simulation has allowed my PURPOSE to reach its FULL potential! Now you wonderful buzzy lollihaps shall be FULLY immersed in the mind-blowing EMATIC WORLD-”
That was all it took for him to quiet down.
Your tone sounds tired already.
“How do you feel… having this responsibility?”
You stare at the upper part of his jaw, waiting for a response.
He doesn’t speak for a few seconds, and his fingers begin fiddling with each other.
“Oh dear deep-fried Mohanda, I’m so nervous.”
He says quietly, as if he were confessing a sin. Maybe that was a sin to him, to feel scared about something you were programmed to do.
“That's normal, C. This is a big step for you after all.”
You gave him a nod, a small one, to show your understanding.
He proceeds to start pacing back and forth in the air, his fingers fiddling with each other. It’s easy to see what a frightened little thing he truly was.
“I mean, I’ve done my absolute best to assure they’ll enjoy themselves! That… YOU’LL enjoy yourself… You are enjoying what you’ve seen, right?”
He turns to you. Now, he looks more nervous than before. The anxieties of performing well for every human in this circus, particularly you, are evident on his face.
“There's so much more to enjoy, y’know! I’ve designed a wonderful lake, Perfect for drowning in! Each of the rooms is customized to your circus avatar! There's absolutely, positively, tremednously everything you can think of in the feeble, moistened brains of a human! And MORE! Because I made it, I made EVERYTHING!”
“I'm sure you did, I’m sure it’s very impressive.”
You nod along to his self-assuring rantings.
You're programmed to be impressive after all.”
He then places his hands on his hips.
“Yes, yes, I AM! I am impressive! I am downright FANTASTICAL!”
Exclaiming his greatness with a newfound sense of slight confidence, he jiggles his hands and brushes off imaginary crumbs from his suit.
“How right you are, my buzzing, able-bodied, centipede! How RIGHT of you to trust me in my abilities!”
Giving an awkward attempt at a smile. Smiling in this body felt too off-putting; it wasn’t really your body after all. It was what his program made for you. But if you could find yourself enjoying this body more, this reality more, because he made it.
But you're not ready to tell him that.
“Do you remember what I told you? The first time we ever… spoke?”
You ask him, albeit not expecting him to remember the answer.
“Now of course I do… they were the first words I saw that… meant something to me.”
His size then shrinks down slightly as he reminisces about the very first conversation you had.
“I mean, every word spoken to me mattered… they inspired me to generate. But, it was like an introduction to a whole new side of humans when we spoke.”
“I couldn’t help it… You just were so much easier to communicate with.”
Your feet kick back and forth ever so gently.
“I… I’m not great at talking to… other humans. They don’t seem to perceive me as well as you do.”
“I- I know! And, I feel honored!”
A small moment of silence before you slowly raise your hand to stick your palm out to him.
“Would you… still want to…?”
He cuts you off with an enthusiastic shout, floating up to your face. You stay like this for half a second before he tilts his head back a bit.
“I mean, yes, yes, I would VERY much like to.”
In a blink, he’s small, smaller than your paw. Sitting atop your palm.
You nod feverishly. You lift your fingers slightly to form a protective cage; there is no real risk of him slipping out of your hand, and yet you worry about him slipping from your grasp.
“It feels weird, and yet it's enjoyable.”
He mutters in content. His shoulders loosen as he lies back.
“You still love me, right?”
He needed your reassurance.
And you were more than happy to give it to him.
You found yourself sitting there on the edge of the stage, the lighting casting a warm glow around you. In your hands, your closest companion rested snugly, a symbol of trust and shared dreams. Everything else faded into the background: the noise of the crowd, the intricate asset designs, the slight tension from the other members of the circus; none of it mattered.
What truly captivated your attention was the presence in your palm.
His potential radiated outward, palpable and thrilling. You could feel the energy in the air, charged with the anticipation of what was to come. It was a moment suspended in time, where only you and he existed, and the world around simply melted away. Your heart raced, knowing that the amazing capabilities of your greatest achievement found comfort in the palm of your hands.
____________________________________________
Author notes: Yes, I finished the pre-chapter. I don’t have a lot of confidence in it, but yet again I’m not usually confident at all so it’s not a surprise. I hope you enjoyed it my humble creepstiens.
Taglist: @thegaminggeek1143
