✿°•˚Barley˚•°✿

[barleyo]

｡˚⋆ʙᴀʀʟᴇʏ⋆˚｡ | 22 | ｡˚⋆ꜱʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ⋆˚｡ | ᴅᴅɴᴇ+ᴍᴅɴɪ

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©ᵇᵃʳˡᵉʸᵒ. ᴬˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿᵗ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃʳˡᵉʸᵒ ᵀᵘᵐᵇˡʳ ᵇˡᵒᵍ, ⁱⁿᶜˡᵘᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵒʳⁱᵍⁱⁿᵃˡ ʷᵒʳᵏˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ, ⁱˢ ᵖʳᵒᵗᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᶜᵒᵖʸʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ˡᵃʷ. ᵁⁿᵃᵘᵗʰᵒʳⁱᶻᵉᵈ ᵘˢᵉ ᵒʳ ʳᵉᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ⁱˢ ᵖʳᵒʰⁱᵇⁱᵗᵉᵈ.ᵖᶠᵖ ᵇʸ ᵏʳᵉᵐᶻᶻᶻᶻᶻᶻ

[barleyo]

this guy started at my job, he's so FUCKING CUUUTEEEE HES like adorable and he's shorter than me which I normally don't even like but I want to pick him up and run away with him.. I wanna kidnap this man..

[barleyo]

nevermind he's gay

[barleyo]

this guy started at my job, he's so FUCKING CUUUTEEEE HES like adorable and he's shorter than me which I normally don't even like but I want to pick him up and run away with him.. I wanna kidnap this man..

[barleyo]

FINALLY GOT A NEW PHONE 🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥🔥 it's literally been six years since I've gotten one

[barleyo]

it's my birthday :)

[barleyo]

hi so if you don’t mind me asking, is you writing incest your way to cope with something or you just like writing that

both actually. growing up, i was raped by my older cousin every time i was dropped off at his house, and was groomed a lot growing up with so much internet access so i was exposed to a lot of damaging material! i enjoy writing dark and taboo things to express my darker thoughts but also because the moral implication and horror of it is fun and interesting! so, yes the answer is both!

[barleyo]

porn brained deep literally brought me to tears thank u omfg ppl write him too soft and hes a FREAK!!!!!!! omfg thank you so mych (frm a deep selfshipper)

yes!!! literally nothing about that man is soft or sweet, he's a manipulative, salacious, horny freak weirdo and i love him for it!

[barleyo]

The Deep as your porn addicted boyfriend.

A/N: this has been on my mind all week... and deep isn't even my favorite character!! i hope this reaches some of his fans though. please enjoy!

Tags: headcanons, dub-con, overstim, p in v, coercion, oral (m receiving), slight watersports, choking and breathplay

Wordcount: 1k

Porn-brained Deep who refuses to ever use lube. 

He doesn't believe in it, thinks it's a crutch, that it's insulting. "We don't need that, babe. I can get you wet enough by myself," he would say, giving your clit a smack. He would spit all over your pussy, just like they do in the dirty films he loses himself in at night. 

When he finally aligns himself with your cunt and shoves his way in, he groans at the resistance. "Give it a second," he would say through clenched teeth, eyebrows pinching together. He fucks into you anyways, ignoring your pained whines. Once you adjust to his size and give up on trying to get him to stop, your body relaxes just a bit and your pussy forms a precious little creamy ring around his cock, slicking him up nice and good. "What'd I say, huh? Always getting wet for me."

Porn-brained Deep who grows obsessed with the idea of choking you during sex. 

The girls in the videos he watches love it, so he tries it without warning. At first, his hand just wraps around your throat enough to hold you in place, keeping you anchored against the bed while he pummels his cock into you. 

Unfortunately, he did zero actual research on safe breathplay and pushes down further on your throat, nearly crushing your windpipe. He sees the way you squirm and assumes it's because of how much you love it, so he adds his other hand, stupidly unaware of how strong he actually is. 

"Fuck, your face is getting so red, baby. Must really like this." He shoves his tongue into your breathless mouth, stealing what little bit of air you have left. "Didn't know you were such a freak."

Porn-brained Deep who is personally offended when you can't squirt for him. 

He takes it as a slight against him, as if he isn't fucking you well enough. He thinks squirting is just the female equivalent of ejaculating, so when you tell him you came but he didn't see you squirt, he thinks you're lying to save his feelings and he doesn't like that one bit.

He's folded your legs to your chest, pushing them the farthest they can go. One hand is planted on your lower belly, pushing down on where his cock is hitting, and the other is abusing your clit. "I'm not fucking pathetic, I don't need you to lie to me. I can make you cum whenever I want," he would say, mostly to himself, as you are a lost cause—nothing but a sobbing mess at this point. 

"Can't do it anymore," you managed to shriek, feeling your eighth orgasm creep down your spine. It's not enough for him. It's not real if he can't see it. "Please, no more! F—fuck!"

He clamps his hand over your mouth to shut you up and lifts your lower body up with his other hand. This angle lets him hit even deeper, abusing the spot that aches for him. He's also managing to hit your bladder, too, though, and with each thrust, little sprays of piss leak out of your sore cunt. 

"That's it," he would goad, pulling his dick out and smacking it against your sopping pussy. "You're gonna keep fuckin' squirting for me until I'm done. You've been holding out on me."

Porn-brained Deep who treats you like a doll.

He moves you in any position he wants, pulling and shoving you like you're weightless. If he wants you face down and ass up, then that's how he'll maneuver you. He rips your legs apart without a care, sliding himself between your thighs like it's his rightful place. 

"Take it," he would coo. "Every inch, now. Don't squeeze me out."

He's rooted behind you, gripping your hips hard enough to bruise, slamming into you at a murderous pace. When you try to catch your breath and lift your head, he smothers your face back into the pillow, using his foot on the back of your head. 

He degrades you physically and praises you verbally, giving you whiplash and keeping you dizzy, drenched, and dumb on his cock.

Porn-brained Deep who doesn't let you swallow his cum. 

When you blow him, he refuses to let you swallow. That's too clean, he wants you messy. 

Sometimes, he makes you slowly drool it out so he can watch it pool down your neck and chest. 

Sometimes, he wants you to blow bubbles with it, drooling over his balls and slicking them up with his own diluted cum. 

Sometimes, he kisses you right after and steals his own cum from your mouth, swishing it around with his saliva before spitting it back out onto your face with a dazed smirk. 

Most of the time, though, he takes hold of your hand, brings it to your own mouth, and tells you to spit. He lets go of your wrist and nods. You know exactly what to do.

You bring the messy hand to your cunt and smear it all over, coating your folds with his cum. 

"Don't forget—yeah, good," he would hum, watching you shove your cum covered fingers into your hole. "Good girl, that's right. Fuck it back inside."

Porn-brained Deep who forces you to watch videos with him.

"See that? Don't you wanna be a nasty girl just like her?"

Cum funnels, gangbangs, anal, double penetration, all of it. Anything sick, perverted, or icky is his holy grail. 

He slowly pets your pussy, mentally taking note of which scenes make your panties wetter and which ones make your clit throb under his touch. When a video of a woman tied up to the bed pops up, a vibrator assaulting her helpless cunt, he feels your pussy twitch. 

"Yeah?" He looks over at you, an eyebrow raised. "You like that?" He rubs you more purposefully, focusing on your swollen clit. 

"I guess my baby's getting to be just as gross as I am, huh?"

[barleyo]

gattouz... ugh fuck i need him...

[barleyo]

deep needs his own stillwell. homelander had madelyn to be his comfort, his momentary solace in the chaos of vought that he endured. deep doesn't have that, save for the obsession he has with homelander, himself. he needs his own sweet, comforting, guiding hand that knows when to be tender with him, just as madelyn always knew when to be softer with homelander. I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!

[barleyo]

girl if you don’t keep writing more of The Deep..

just read your latest one i’m obsessed- PLEASE do us service and write more

really? omg of course i'll write more! i honestly thought i wasn't good at writing for him tbh and that's why it was so short, i'm really bad at proper characterization, but i'm glad you liked it <33

[barleyo]

Rock the Boat, Poseidon.

The Deep X F! College Student! Reader

A/N: my first purely deep centered fic... i don't talk about him a lot but he is one of my favorites. hope you all enjoy, comments + reblogs are always appreciated!! <3

Tags: dub-con, age gap, p in v, coercion, intoxication, manipulation, drunk reader, prone bone, kinda sweet deep if you can look past all the rape-y stuff <33

Wordcount: 1.1k

Your friends fucking sucked.

You were, unfortunately, too blinded by your desire for on-campus friends to see it, despite the glaring red flags right in front of you. You were pregaming with them for a rager at your rival college, drunkenly navigating the streets with your group. 

When you passed the beach, they had convinced you to wait for them while they called a cab at the nearest payphone. They had waved off your concern by telling you that you were simply too drunk to walk any further. Inebriated beyond recognition, you agreed and walked down the boardwalk, hopping off the ledge to stand in the cold sand. They were only going to be gone for a few minutes, they said, promising to come back as soon as the taxi came. 

They had forgotten you. You realized it after thirty—or what your drunken brain perceived as thirty—minutes had passed. Realistically, you should have been angry, or at least afraid, but you were too drunk to truly care.

Besides, the waves looked beautiful at night. They crashed gently against the shore, just kissing the coast. Before you knew it, you had kicked your heels off and stood near the water, just letting the freezing water lap at your feet. Then you sat down, pulling your short dress up and hitching it around your waist to keep it from getting wet. 

You had never felt this calm before. Maybe it was just the cheap liquor in your system that had suppressed your nerves, helping you forget about finals coming up, but it was nice to not have to think so much. The sea was eerily calm too, the tide barely moving. You crawled a little further into the water, craving a better view. 

Clearly, a huge mistake, as the second you went deeper, the water lurched forward and trapped you under a wave. You instinctively gasped and inhaled enough water to nearly choke yourself. You tried to keep your head afloat, but your limbs were heavy and useless under the weight of the water, and so you sank deeper and deeper until you swore you were dying. When you felt darkness creep into your vision, you accepted your fate, slowly feeling your body give out on you.

Then, just as suddenly as you were doomed, you were saved. A strong pair of muscular arms wrapped around your torso and hoisted you above the water. You felt your body be placed against the sand, hair splaying behind you. 

“You alright, there?” a man asked, standing over you, blocking what little night the moon provided in the night. “The ocean nabbed you awfully quick.”

You blinked slowly and sat up. Water gushed out of your ears and soaked hair, which was less than ideal, but you were alive! You thought you were going to die and had prepared your final prayers, hoping they were good enough to land you in heaven. Thanks to your hero, who you couldn’t quite make out with how blurry your vision had gotten, you lived another day.

“Sorry, I—” you paused after wiping your eyes and looking back up. “Holy shit.” The Deep. A member of the illustrious Seven had just saved your life, and not only that, but he looked good even after doing it. His hair was perfectly wet and his suit clung to his muscles in the best way, fabric straining over every inch of him. “You’re The Deep, aren’t you? Oh my god, you saved my life—thank you so much!”

“Guilty as charged,” he said, flashing you a smile that showed his flawless teeth, “and no need to thank me. All in a day’s work, right?”

“You saved me,” you said through a soft cough, still feeling residual water trapped in your throat as you pushed yourself to your feet. “Of course I’ve gotta thank you!” You wrapped your arms around him and pressed an innocent kiss to his cheek. Too forward, perhaps, but you were tipsy and just happy to be alive. Who could blame you?

Deep chuckled softly, placing his hand on your lower back and rubbing a small circle against it. “Nah, it's a pleasure to save pretty girls like you.”

He got a whiff of the alcohol on your breath and felt his chest tighten. He was hoping to score out of this and you being in a malleable state would only make it easier. Having some random broad drift into the water was annoying at first, but when he caught the outline of your body in that tiny dress float up then sink further away, he knew he had to take his chance. 

Besides, you had already proved you were willing to show your appreciation physically. How much more grateful could you be? The idea went straight to his dick and made his suit’s crotch grow uncomfortably tight. 

“But…” he said, dropping his hands lower to grope your ass, practically reaching under your dress, “maybe we actually could find a way for you to pay me back."

“I bet you’re real popular with guys at school,” Deep said through gritted teeth, pressing your body deeper into the sand. He was so heavy, keeping you pinned under him with his larger frame, and his strokes were so mean. “Lucky me.”

Sex had never felt like this before, for sure. Guys on campus were never so vocal and they definitely weren’t as strong. The way Deep’s body felt against yours reminded you of how you felt under the water: unable to save yourself and sopping wet.

You felt him pull your hips up slightly, arching your back. That only made him hit deeper and when he found the spot that made you cry out the loudest, he abused it with a breathy laugh, caught between amusement and arousal. 

“Gentle,” you pleaded, barely audible. Your mouth was basically full of sand at this point, forced to moan with your face against the ground. “Can’t take anymore.”

Deep threaded his fingers through your hair and tilted your head to the side. “Sorry, babe, no can do. Feels too good, you know?” He gave you a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss as compensation and his cock twitched at the taste of your mouth. Your saliva was basically rum and he felt his own sort of high come as it trickled down his throat. “F—fuck.”

He was bullying your insides with each thrust, but he spoke so sweetly to you, and what little was left of your logical mind told you that you owed him this. Even if it hurt. At the very least, you knew you were going to cum any second now. That was more than guys at your school offered, most times. 

“You can go and tell every girl we fucked if you wanna.” He smacked the fat of your ass with a soft groan, eyes darkening at the red mark he left. “Make ‘em jealous that you got yourself some supe dick. Right, pretty girl?”

[barleyo]

can you explain your big brother a-train series more? is this like one separate universe from your other works and like what are you planning on doing with the series? pls update it!!!

hiii yes!!! i've been thinking about what to do with the series actually so basically: every big brother a-train fic i've written/ will write are in the same universe. you can see a lot of consistencies and callbacks to pre-established info in the "lore."

so in what i've dubbed the "brother's keeper universe" or bku, the main plot points are that reader is the youngest of reggie and nathan. as kids, while nate and reggie were best friends, reader and reggie were something entirely. they were weirdly co-dependent and reggie was always overly protective and concerned with her safety, big brother instincts on 100% when she was around. this was exalted after their dad died, with nathan becoming more of a father figure for reggie, and reggie doing the same for reader. as they got older, and reggie's control over his power got better, they only grew closer. reader became his #1 cheerleader, supporting him in every way possible. where nate was strict and lit a fire under reggie, reader was there to comfort, console, and be gentle with him when he needed it most.

when goes off to godolkin, he calls reader every single day, in pain at the idea of not seeing her face every day, of not being able to protect her always. he sends his leftover scholarship money to her so she can fix up the house a bit and more importantly, so she didn't have to work. he never wanted her to leave the house at all, even if it wasn't truly possible, he did everything he could to keep her cooped up when leaving wasn't necessary. then, when he joins the seven, he still calls but infrequently. hardly ever visits. the last strike for reader was when their mother died; the stress of working all her life and the anxiety she held for all of her children killed her, sending her into a massive heart attack. reggie covered the cost of the funeral but only stayed for a little bit during the service before literally speeding out for work.

their mother left reader the house and her wedding ring, knowing that reggie would provide the rest. reader was so lonely, living alone in her childhood home without any of her family around anymore. when she finally tells reggie to not come around anymore after him showing out, he realizes how shallow and selfish he's been. now, in present for my au, reggie has nothing but time for her. he comes over for dinner every couple of days and has cameras set up all around the house, monitoring her every second of every day. he lavishes her in gifts and house renovations, pays all the bills and her tuition.

and their relationship is super close. too close for comfort, actually. they keep everything salacious in the privacy of reader's house, as any public scandal could ruin reggie's career. speaking of his career, his relationship with reader starts to distract him from work and homelander notices quicklyyyy, leading to the events of "cost of business." as far as what I'm gonna do with the series uhmmmm I think reggie will find out about what happened at the gala and will try to hide. reader from homelander, but obviously it won't work and I'll just take it from there!

[barleyo]

i have a sneaking suspicion they're talking about me..

but also i am inclined to agree with them because not everyone rocks with dark fics like that, so where are all the other a-train writers? i suppose be the change you want to see in the world and write it yourself instead of complaining in the character tag about it (which is such a pet peeve of mine omg if it isn't fic, don't tag it as x reader)

[barleyo]

Cost of Business.

Big Brother! A-Train X Little Sister! Reader X Homelander

A/N: playing extremely loose with canon on this one because obviously the idea of a party where supes bring non-supe friends and family would compromise their secret identities.... just ignore that and enjoy!

Other Works in this AU: (1, 2, 3)

Tags: incest (brother-sister), rape/non-con, age gap (mid 30s reg, early 20s reader, 40s homelander), slight age regression, blood and canon typical violence, p in v, emotional manipulation

Wordcount: 2.6k

Once a year, Vought hosted the “Behind the Mask” Supes’ Ball. It was essentially a stunt made to make Supes seem more human to the public, and for what it was, it worked. A chance for the heroes of Vought International to dress up outside of their everyday costumes and mingle with other Supes. 

Most importantly, though, every hero was strongly urged to bring one non-Supe guest that was important to them outside of their professional life. Something about the optics of it. Bridging the gap between Supes and civilians, reminding the public that their heroes were “just like them.” 

To Reggie, it seemed unnecessary and dangerous.

Hundreds of superpowered freaks, who he could personally vouch for being heinous behind closed doors, along with cameras and paparazzi, surrounding his precious little sister? No, the idea of it made him uneasy. God forbid anyone tried to even speak to her–he would lose his mind. He had worked with these people long enough to know that not a single one of them was to be trusted, especially not around someone as vulnerable as you.

He had gotten away with skipping the ball for the past few years, from faking sick to going on last minute missions, but this year he couldn’t create an excuse quick enough to evade Ashley. She had managed to snatch him into her office one morning.

“You still haven’t turned in your guest form for BTM,” Ashley said. “What, did you lose it?”

Reggie clenched his jaw, feeling it tick. “I’m not going to that shit.”

She huffed an incredulous laugh, unimpressed, and looked over him. “Okay, well, despite that not being true, why do you think that’s the case?”

“I didn't go last year, and I'm not going now. That’s the end of it.”

“So, you’re going, whether you want to or not,” she said, eyebrows raising as she looked over a file. “The attendance rates say you haven’t gone since you were inducted into The Seven. Do you know how bad that looks for you?”

You were ecstatic when Reggie told you about the ball. You had never been to something so fancy—he had taken Nathan as his first and only guest years ago, which you tried not to still be upset about. You had been looking through your closet for the past thirty minutes while your big brother sat on the edge of your bed, looking less than excited about the whole ordeal. 

“What about this one, Reg?” you asked, holding out a black, sparkly scrap of a dress, barely long enough to cover your ass on a good day.

He winced, crossing his arm. “No, baby. Not that type of party.” He made himself a mental note to go through your wardrobe and burn a few things, starting with that dress.

“Hm.” 

You sifted through a few more dresses, but nothing seemed good enough. You weren’t exactly drowning in fancy ballgowns, as you really only went to school and back, but there had to be something hidden away. You looked back to ask big brother about another dress, but the look on his face caught your attention.

“Reggie?” you called, a small pout forming on your lips. “What’s wrong? Do you not want me to come with you?” Your poor, little heart almost snapped in half, wondering if he was wishing that he could take Nate again instead of you. “I won’t embarrass you in front of your fancy friends, I promise,” you said earnestly, flashing him your best smile, all teeth and soft eyes.

He sat up much straighter and cleared his throat, throwing his hands up defensively. “Nothing like that,” he said. “I just worry this thing won’t be as fun as you think it will be.”

He was lying through his teeth, but you didn't need to know that. Really, he was worried that being around Supes would traumatize you. Who knew what they would say to or around you?

Deep could very easily say something stupid while trying to put the move on you, which Reggie would, of course, kill him for.

Maeve might ignore you or make you feel unwelcome, which was the best case scenario, but still something he wouldn't want you to have to deal with.

The paparazzi was also a huge concern. Cameras all in your face—it just wouldn't work for him. 

Then, well, there was Homelander. He didn't want to think about him, actually. God only knew what that freak could do.

“Okay,” you said, mostly convinced. You pulled the final dress off of the hanger and held it in front of your body. “Anyways, what about this one?”

With one look at you, his anxieties seemed to slip away, melting like ice. It was perfect. A long, light blue gown, nearly the same color as his hero costume.

Reggie stood up from the bed and hummed in approval, pressing a warm kiss to your forehead. 

“I love it.”

At least Vought had the sense to keep the venue a secret from the general public, letting in only official reporters, Reggie thought as he held tightly onto your hand. From the drive there to the walk to the entrance, he had been throwing dozens of rules and guidelines for the night at you. 

Keep away from the cameras. 

Don’t talk to reporters.

Don’t stare at anyone for too long.

Don’t leave his side.

Don’t talk to anyone when you’re alone.

You knew he was just concerned for your safety and whatnot, but all of it was starting to make your head swim. 

At least now, with your head pressed against his chest, you could fall into a comfortable dependence. Being with Reggie was sort of like dancing, in a way. He led, you followed, and he spun you just enough to keep you giggling and your head dizzy.

“You look really nice tonight, baby,” he said earnestly, eyeing you, not in lust, but in genuine appreciation. 

“Mm,” you hummed, moving to press a kiss to his nose before stopping yourself. You were in public—you almost forgot you couldn’t do anything too suspicious. He had a reputation to uphold and you wanted to be the last person to cause him any trouble. Instead, you raised your hand, urging him to spin you.

“Alright, alright,” he said with a soft chuckle. He twirled you around twice, feeling a grin pull at the corner of his mouth at your excited squeal. “There you go, princess. Happy?”

“Always, Reg.”

You felt his hand hover over your hip before a loud crash rang out, followed by someone yelling for him.

“A-Train, bro,” Deep called, standing beside a giant mess of spilled champagne, glass, and ice, “little help here? Like, now, please?”

Reggie rolled his eyes in pure, unadulterated annoyance. “Just—wait here, I’ll be right back,” he said, giving your hand a final squeeze before walking over to the mess. “What the hell did you do?” he spat at Deep, beyond irritated. 

“I don’t know, man, it just kinda fell after I bumped into it,” he said with a shrug, kicking a shard of glass absentmindedly. 

“Yeah, fucking obviously.”

You took a seat at your table, only a few steps away from where Reggie left you. You sighed contentedly and let your eyes roam around the ballroom. Everyone seemed happy and surprisingly normal. You weren’t sure what your big brother had been worrying about, as everything had gone perfectly well! You initially had your own fears about feeling out of place, you were willing to admit, but you were having a great time. 

You took a few cheeky sips from your brother’s champagne flute, humming at how it bubbled in your mouth. You were careful to be extra sneaky, knowing Reggie wouldn’t be too happy if he caught you, but it was a special occasion and you figured you deserved a treat. On your third swallow, you felt a heavy hand take hold of your shoulder.

You gasped, nearly spilling the flute. You thought it was your brother, and went to explain yourself, but instead you saw a somewhat familiar face.

“Hello there,” he cooed, leaning down a bit, using every bit of his manufactured charisma. 

 “Oh!” You placed the flute down and tipped your head up, suddenly feeling very awkward. “Hello,” you said, clearing your throat. You wanted to make the best impression you could, not wanting to make your big brother look bad by association. “You must be Mr. Homelander, right?”

“That’s right,” he said. “Who are you here with tonight?”

You couldn’t help but notice how he showed his teeth when he spoke, almost like a growling predator, making sure both fangs were visible with each word. You wiped it off and answered, not wanting to look impolite. 

“Reggie,” you said before shaking your head to correct yourself, “or, I mean, A-Train. I’m his sister.”

He let out a soft gasp, pretending like that piece of information was news to him. He knew everything he needed to know about you and your brother. Everything. “Oh, he talks about you all the time.” A lie. “Are you two having fun?”

You nodded, slowly starting to feel more comfortable with the idle conversation, even though you had promised Reggie not to talk to anyone alone. “Yes, sir. I’ve never been to such a nice party, and everyone looks so nice,” you said, gesturing to the other guests.

The ring on your finger caught his attention. He had his theory on where it came from, especially with the digging he had done on A-Train and you. Christ, though, the thing was huge. Mr. ‘I’m-Fucking-My-Sister’ certainly spared no expense. He was surprised your little finger could support a rock that big.

“That’s a beauty,” he said, raising his eyebrows for a second as he watched you pull your hand back. “Married?”

With a pause, you shook your head again. “No, uhm, it was a gift from my brother.” You held your bejeweled finger self-consciously, twisting the ring around a bit. Should you have said that? It wasn’t inherently wrong, right? Just a gift, no big deal.

“That’s nice.” He silently reached out for your hand to examine it closer. That dirty dog, he really went and did it. Marked his little secret with a diamond crested taboo. This must have been why A-Train’s performance was slipping. Too focused on a tawdry affair with his own blood to focus on how bad his fuck-ups were making the rest of The Seven look. “He must really love you, huh?”

“I guess so,” you said, offering him a nervous smile. 

“Where is he anyways?” Homelander kept hold of your hand, gently pulling you out of your chair. “What do you say we find him?”

You hesitated for a moment. Reggie had told you to stay put and to not speak to anyone in his absence. You would be breaking two of his rules if you followed this man, but… you felt strangely safe with Homelander. He had been nothing but polite and curious despite being a tad intimidating at first. You hummed and let him guide you through the ballroom. 

After all, he was America’s sweetheart, wasn’t he? 

Your big brother was right.

He was always right, you should have realized that by now. Every rule he set forth for you was for your own good, you should have never went against his wishes. Even as children, all he ever did was protect you and try to teach you right from wrong. He drilled into you the evilness of others, how not everyone could be trusted, and that he was there to save you from trouble. 

If you had just listened to him, if you had stayed at the table, or better yet, stayed on the dancefloor, none of this would have happened. If this was your karma, you felt that it was far too harsh. 

You should have figured it out when Homelander led you to the back of the venue, pulling you outside into the alley. Stupidly, you thought that maybe he brought you outside because your brother had slipped out for some air. That could not have been further from the truth.

Even when Homelander pushed you against the brickwall, you were unsure of what was happening. Did you do something wrong?

When he lifted you up and undid his belt, the pieces slowly started to click. Then, when he shoved his full length into your poor pussy, you figured it out. 

The kind mask he had slipped on earlier faded immediately. With your legs wrapped around his torso, he pounded into you with a flat expression. Eerily silent, too. The only sound that you could make out was the leakage from the venue’s speakers and your own fearful cries. 

He had torn you—not badly, but enough to bleed. It stung, but at least it helped ease the friction. He wasn’t quite as big as Reggie was, but the lack of preparation, paired with how long it had been since you and Reggie played together, made the stretch quite a struggle. 

“No,” you wailed, gripping onto his shoulder with what little strength you had. “Please, stop it. Please, you can’t do this.”

He clicked his tongue and spat aimlessly at your cunt, giving you something to work with while he continued to fuck deep into your guts. “I can do whatever I want.” 

He wasn’t completely mean about it—this wasn't even about you. You seemed like a good girl, but casualties were bound to occur. He had a point to prove, you were just the means to show it. To be transparent, this was a matter of convenience. He had other plans for A-Train, himself, but you were readily available and not half-bad looking, so he took the opportunity. 

You sobbed again, this time feeling your tummy tighten and pulse. You wanted to shrink yourself down and throw yourself away, horribly embarrassed. You knew you were only meant to do that with your big brother: you had broken yet another rule. 

Homelander pushed into you with one final, rough thrust and came deep inside. As if nothing had happened at all, he placed you back on the floor and yanked your panties back up, keeping his seed trapped in you. He adjusted his pants and whistled lowly, giving your shoulder a squeeze before leaning in, whispering into your ear.

“Tell your brother to get his shit together.” 

He pulled away slowly and pressed a kiss to your forehead, just like Reggie always did. This, though, was different. It was gentle and chaste, yes, but it felt like someone had burned you where his malicious lips had been. 

“See you, sweetheart.”

You stumbled back into the venue a few moments later after stewing in what had just happened to you. You could barely walk and you were sure you looked at absolute mess, what with your dress torn and your makeup smeared. 

You finally found Reggie. He was sitting at the table, hands clutched on his lap, feet tapping against the floor. You felt instant guilt rush over you; he was worried sick and it was all your fault.

“Over here,” he called, his seat scraping against the floor as he stood and ran over to you. “Where were you? Are you okay?”

You kept your eyes trained to the ground, refusing to let him see your tears. You spoke through a soft gag, sickened by the whole night. “I ripped my dress. Can we please just go home?”

Reggie looked over your appearance and felt a wave of dread pass through his body. 

“Yeah,” he said, hooking his arm through yours. “Of course, baby. ‘Course.”

[barleyo]

okay, redone chart... expect so much lore dumping for my yume soon, i'm working on some backstory now...

[barleyo]

okay, now i've figured out my relationship charts throughout their lore together!!! it's still a little messy because i haven't fully decided the details of the story, but i've got the basics down!!! this is completely for my own records, ik nobody gaf but I GAF!!! I GIVE SO MANY Fs!!!! :3

so, this is before the kidnapping of homelander, in which my sona assists her father, oh-father, in operating the democratic church of america. she is absolutely smitten by homelander, which, isn't everybody? but she is strange about it. whenever he visits the church or meets with oh-father, she slinks into the shadows and observes. they rarely speak, and when they do, john is very easily able to tell she has a crush on him, which annoys him more than anything. he's dealt with enough immature fangirls for a lifetime, so he just keeps his distance and ignores, which is a little difficult, as oh-father wants her to inherit the church and take over for him in a few years because he wants to settle down with ashley, so slowly, she and john are forced to have more and more meetings. and maybe just maybe oh-father knows about her crush—he's a dad, what can he say?—and gives them more time together than completely necessary.

my sona's relationship with characters besides john aren't very important, but just for developments sake i'll mention them briefly. she and annie have been best friends for as long as annie has been around the church. they had a tight bond, especially as oh-father cared for annie almost like a second daughter and feels confident in her ability to be a slightly older role model for my sona, his daughter. of course things complicate as the story continues, but in the beginning, they are thick as thieves.

sona hasn't really gotten much interaction with the seven besides annie and john for obvious reasons, but just based on hearsay and gossip annie spills to her, she isn't the biggest fan of deep and stands pretty neutrally with a-train. as far as stillwell, she has never met her as she died years ago, but in finding out the past "relationship" she had with john, she grows extremely jealous and projects onto stillwell's image, even though she's long dead. she imagines they would be absolute enemies, had madelynn still been alive. in saying this, my au rejects the existence of the homelander and starlight PR relationship, as that would easily ruin her and annie's friendship.

with the boys, she's pretty unknown before the kidnapping. butcher only really knows her because she's got powers, though weaker than the average supe, and because she's related to oh-father. that and the slight buzz about her training to take over the church is enough for him to keep an eye on her, but not enough to be worrisome.

now, during the kidnapping is a strange time for everyone involved, simply because it's so fucking insane.

playing fast and loose with canon here, i think the best thing i can do is extend belief and just chock it up to my sona having a lapse in reality when she does it. her powers are somewhat similar to her father's, though weaker, both relating to voice usage. she has the power to briefly control minds in short bursts, but she has to continue to speak to the victim to keep her hold on them and it only works on one person at a time—but as she trains, she learns she can get to three people with enough effort. the moment she pauses for more than a quick second, the hold snaps, though. 

very rarely does she use her abilities, as she's embarrassed of how weak they are compared to her father's and the supes' she works around. a few people assume she is just a normal person because of how little she utilizes her abilities; even her risen durability, hearing, and strength are slight compared to a normal supe. 

so, in a meeting with homelander, she starts normally, going over the rebaptisms and psalms the church has planned for the next few weeks, and as john grows bored with her, she strikes. 

"because 'raise him up' did so well, my father I figures—come with me, come with me, come with me," she says quickly, watching as the consciousness slips from his body. she knows she has to move quick, so she throws the documents she has out of her hands and makes a run for the church's basement. she locks him in a giant cage, à la joe goldberg, and finally takes a breath. 

now, obviously, homelander can easily break, burn, or tear through any confinement, but when he snaps back to consciousness and sees what she's done, he's unsure of what happened and is nearly amused by what she's done. 

"jesus," he says, bending the metal of his cage, "what is wrong with you, woman? you just don't give up. truly, what do you think you did here?"

he still thinks she odd, but nobody has ever dared try to do something like this to him, and he admires what a little freak she is for trying. he scoops her up by the back of her shirt and carries her back up the stairs, grumbling to himself with a slight smirk about how he 'always gets the crazy ones,' before physically handing her body to oh-father who just sighs. 

after the kidnapping, john takes a few weeks to avoid her and really think about what the fuck happened, and he tries to be angry or creeped out, but he's just so enamored with how, despite the stupidity of her plan, she really tried it. and it does a little something for his ego to know she's obsessed enough with him to risk her life like that.

her lets her it and gives into her little crush, finding that he really doesn't mind her all too much. the longer the spend together, seeing how invested she is in her work and crafting his image, he slowly falls for her too. does he still think she's a little freak? yes. does he want to rattle her brain out of her skull most days? yes. does he actually do it? no. does he want to leave her side? fuck no. she becomes a safe space for him, coddles him just how he likes and praises him genuinely, not overly done and fake like most people. she rides for him like nobody else does, and that does cause a lot of tensions between her and annie because who ever her man hates, she hates tenfold.

he gives it a year, maybe two before taking her seriously. she sticks beside him during his attempt to take over the world and, later, his failure. before he cements his plan to ascend fully to godhood, he "proposes" by referring to her as his wife during a mostly average sermon; reestablishing himself as the only true power, the one true god, and the only prophet that the world shall follow.

she stood behind him in rapt attention, always supporting him and standing nearby—his perfect rock, the only person he could trust now. he goes on to talk about reliance and blind trust, how the nation must remain dependent and loyal to him for their own safety, but slowly derails...

"of course, i, with my endless power, could do it all alone, but i choose not to," he said. "behind me is the most honest, devout, obedient woman the world has to offer, and you all should strive to be just as she is. you know her, you've seen her work—my wife, everyone!"

and of course, she is stunned but also too excited for words. she adores the fact that there is no real proposal, as she sees it as john simply knowing they belong together: it's the validation she needs, him having no doubt.

once their relationship is cemented, my sona's idea of madelynn finally dies, as she no longer feels like she's competing with her. 

her relationship with john is as strong as ever, and she learns more about ryan. although they don't meet until john is depowered, which is an entire other story, she grows attached to the idea of now technically being a mother, though is slightly jealous that she was not able to give john his first child. ryan has only really heard about her from second-hand accounts from butcher and a few online clips from the church's services, but he figures anyone who can make his father genuinely happy can't be too bad, though maybe a little crazy in their own right. 

i'm writing so much self-indulgent for my eyes only fanfiction of this au, i won't post because I'm basically ignoring canon entirely but i suggest everybody do the same because it is SO fun!!

[barleyo]

keep your shitty rape and incest fantasies out of the selfship tags, you ugly cunt.

so what's interesting actually is that selfshippers fall under the umbrella of proship, so be angry all you'd like but we're basically brothers-in-arms, love! and to think the very show my yume comes from has those exact themes present throughout the entire show is ironic, no?