Dameon: Next question. You’re into Bruno.
Charlie: That’s not a question.
Dameon: So you agree it’s a fact?
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@barlieslove
Dameon: Next question. You’re into Bruno.
Charlie: That’s not a question.
Dameon: So you agree it’s a fact?
Charlie to Bruno: Please stop announcing that you are fine everyday. We’ve seen it, we want you 🙄
Bruno: It’s always who’s the prettiest person in the world, not how’s the prettiest person in the world.
Charlie: How ARE you, Bruno?
Bruno, flustered: Oh-
Charlie: Bruno is so cute.
Carson: Uh, he threatened to kill us and has almost done so several times.
Charlie: I said cute, not harmless.
Bruno: I want to wake up with you for the rest of my life.
Charlie: I wake up at 6 am.
Bruno:
Bruno: I want to go to sleep with you for the rest of my life.
Bruno: A year ago today, I married my best friend.
Bruno: Charlie and Mari are still mad, but Dameon and I were drunk and thought it was hilarious.
should i post lil details n facts/headcanons (but like actually canon cuz im the funne author) about the scouts & mari and jo? @barlieandthescouts
Bruno: I don’t need gasoline to start a fire. All I need are these two hands and lack of adult supervision.
*playing Minecraft*
Charlie: where are you?
Dameon, stuck in a two-block deep hole in a cave, sobbing: i don’t fucking know
At Summer Camp:
*sneaking into Charlie’s cabin*
Dameon: how are we gonna get in?
Bruno: don’t worry, i’ve got the keys
Bruno: *smashes window*
Dameon: If I died, how much would you miss me?
Carson: Bold of you to assume death could get you out of this friendship
Charlie: Bruno is really cute
Mari: Aw, you don’t have to be jealous, Charlie! You’re cute as well!
Charlie: I’m not being jealous
Charlie: I’m being gay
Dameon: You give me premature ventricular contractions
Mari: What?
Charlie: You make his heart skip a beat
Dameon: I ate a piece of candy off of Charlie’s science project, how long do you think I have?
Bruno: Ten
Dameon: Ten what? Minutes? I feel like he won’t notice for a bit-
Bruno: Nine
Dameon: I wish you could block people in real life
Charlie: Restraining order
Bruno: Murder
Charlie Gardener High School Headcanons Also I Don’t Know How To Spell So Ignore The Typos And Misspellings
One of the smartest kids in school
Usually skips out on lunch and eats a PB&J in the back of the lunchroom to avoid getting made fun of
When Bruno found out, he joined Charlie three days of every week
Charlie was flustered at first but slowly got used to Bruno hanging around
They’ve gotten shushed by the librarians quite a few times
Charlie’s part of the student council
Hes the treasurer because he’s good at math and budgeting
He figures he wasn’t popular enough to be elected president
He prefers his role as treasurer anyway
He’s also captain of the debate team
He’s very good at arguing
Like, scarily good
No one should have the power to be as persuasive as Charlie is
Once the new teacher picked a fight with Charlie
Charlie won
His favourite class is Science
He breezes through it, because logic and data is his best friend
His favourite is chemistry, how everything has its place and has controlled change
He gets an A+ in science, math, and english
He gets an A in all his other classes
People would think he obsessed over his grades, but he doesnt really give a fuck
He really just wants to learn more stuff
And he knows he gets honour role anyway, so he doesnt pay much attention to them
He plays piano sometimes
Not that often, though, just occasionally, but if he put his mind to it he could become a prodigy
He’s won first place in every science fair, except for one
He is pissed that he didnt win the 7th grade science fair
A freaking volcano won, which he thinks is very uncreative
He doesnt usually put his tropheys and ribbons on his shelves and walls
Most of his ribbons and tropheys are stashed away in a box at the bottom of his closet
One day while Bruno is over studying (more like slacking off, really) he finds the box and brushes off the dusk before proudly displaying the tropheys in Charlies room
Charlie attempts to put them away again, but Bruno won’t let him
Theyve sat on his desk untouched since
Charlie grins when he sees them now
Hes constantly fidgeting around with his wristwatch
c o n s t a n t l y
bored?? fidgets with watch. nervous?? fidgets with watch. Focused?? fidgets with watch. Literally always fidgets with his watch.
Dislikes gym class
Dislikes the locker room more
Always wears matching socks
His sock drawer is organized and he cant remember ever wearing mismatched socks
His shirts are neatly folded for the most part
His desk is messy organized
To anyone else, it would look messy
But to Charlie everything is in its place and he can find his papers and his stuff easily
On his bookshelf he has a few neat trinkets among all of his books
He has a seashell from the only family trip hes been on, he has a candle he burns when hes really stressed over something, and he has a few rocks that are special to him among other things
His favourite trinket is a small wooden giraffe that Bruno carved for him
He had run up between classes, given it to him, then ran off
When Charlie has a big academic event or is doing something that makes him nervous, he keeps the giraffe in his pocket as a good luck charm
Makes his younger brother a brown paper bag lunch every morning
Has been close friends with Mari since grade school
She’s the first one that he came out to as gay
And vice versa
They talk about boys together sometimes
And life
Theyll sit on the beanbags in Mari’s treehouse and talk for hours sometimes
Theyve only ever had one argument
Theyll go to Pup N Taco all the time together
Some people think that the two of them are lowkey dating (theyre not)
They kind of have the friendship that Simon and Leah have (from Love Simon and Leah Off Beat books)
Charlie isnt the best at baking
He’s got cooking down like an ace
But baking is dififcult
He doesnt get where he goes wrong- baking is like science
Measuring the ingredients and mixing it and following the steps perfectly-
But no matter what he does he just doesnt understand baking
Bruno is an ace at baking, although he would never admit it
Bruno has tried countless times to show Charlie how to bake, but Charlie is hopeless
Charlie enjoys giving up and sitting at the counter and watching as Bruno bakes
He tells Mari all about Bruno when they talk, and Mari smiles, knowing what Charlie doesnt
Until he meets Bruno, Mari is the only one who he will let call him anything other than Charlie
Mari’s nickname for him is “Periwinkle”
Because in the first grade when the teacher asked everyones favourite colours, while all the other kids said simple things like “blue” and “red” and “pink”, Charlie said “periwinkle”
When Mari got a car, she picked up Charlie and his brother most days on the way to school so that they dont have to wait in the cold for the bus
Charlie often spends his free study period in the library, getting his homework done so that he can work on his own projects at home
Once Bruno lent Charlie one of his leather jackets
He wore it up until the moment he gave it back
Bruno said he could keep it, to Charlies delight
When he cant sleep, Charlie wraps up in Brunos old leather jacket
these were all trash but i hope you liked them
this never fails to make me smile
Dameon: Hey Mari, I don’t like your last name.
Mari: Neither do I.
Dameon:
Dameon: That’s not what you were supposed to say-