Oh you’ll know you love her. You’ll know when she’s driving and looks side-eyes at you when you’re staring. You’ll know when you’re ordering and she pulls out her money faster than you. You’ll know when she uses her little girl voice to tell you she doesn’t feel like doing whatever she’s been bugging you to do for a week. You’ll know when she absent-mindedly puts her arm at your waist to direct you where to walk in a crowd. You’ll know when she agrees with your parents about some stupid conversation you always disagree on. You’ll know when she is far away and losing hope. You’ll know when it’s 3am and she feels better off alone. You’ll know when she comes back home, but her kisses are quick and your feet are still on the ground. You’ll know when you try to move on, but she begs you to stay, but you can’t anymore because nothing is the same. You’ll know when you realize you don’t give a fuck about the new arms around you. You’ll know when you carelessly throw those 3 words out because you are trying to fucking feel. You’ll know when you beg for her to come back, but she is ready to move on because nothing would be the same. You’ll know when you spend 2 months crying yourself to sleep and you have to have someone on skype with you. You’ll know when alcohol and drugs no longer numb you. You’ll know when you’re in bed with someone new every night of the fucking week trying to fucking feel alive by hurting them. You’ll know when you wake up one day and decide you want to be happy. You’ll know when you accept that things just weren’t meant to be and maybe later they will. You’ll know when you learn to smile on your own again. You’ll know when you are reading a new book and her name is the name of a character. You’ll know you love her even when you no longer want her. You’ll know you’ll always love her though.
jbbartram-illu
origamiaround
