The Bastard L

(She/her) Non-messiah lesbian raccoon Comic Sans Enthusiast™ Researcher of highly unnecessary topics eyeless_bigshot on ao3

[bastard-eyeless-bigshot]

I like to call this pinned post: The Bastard L’s Archive

See below for organized research, fic, food posts, and editing inquiries as I reblog a lot of whimsical nonsense in between

A bastard’s fic posting:

- Burned out, but it still glows

Bastardous Fic Research:

- Flambae research documentation

- Flambae metabolic fire conversion

- recommended fire extinguishers

- Flambae endocrine system & ignition

- Flambae genital temperatures

- subsection body temp of sperm / egg

- confirmation of fertilization probability

- Flambae eyebrow burn temperature

- Flambae nipple piercing temperature safety

- Flambae vs 10,000 bees

- Wound research

- Robert’s back scar

- Technology

- Motherboard heat testing

- Mini Mecha Man Project

Chefbae posts

- Chicken Korma

- Shakshuka

- Kimchi jjigae

- Asian pear tea

- Robert’s Depression Meals: Peanut Noodles

- Flamsister new mom support

- Lemon Blueberry Cheesecake

- Skirt steak with chimichurri

Fanfic editing inquiries:

If you want any help with editing your fanfic send me an ask and we can talk about what you’d like me to look at. I do not accept money for fanfic editing so if you try to offer it I will be rejecting it, I edit for the love of the game

Please have your list of tags in the ask as there are some topics I will decline to edit. There’s some fic content that is not my business to read, therefore not my business to edit

#myfriendcats

- Daisy

- Zosia & Geniu

- Minnie

- Birdie, my lord and savior

- Wednesday

#mytreasures

- invisiblazer

- Flambae fire extinguisher art

- Flambae vs the eyeless archivist

- Additional Flambae ragebaiting by local raccoon

- even MORE Flambae ragebait -> pt 3

- The paint incident

- my messiah status (apparently)

- additional dispatch edits

- a sunny raccoon -> pt 2!

- they want you as their new messiah

- a dapper raccoon

- a mustelid raccoon

- pocket messiah

[sunnyfrenchfries]

A thought, I had a thought, I spired by the currently Floridian weather we're having in LA.

July bears down on the city, making the asphalt melt more than usual. It's only the beginning of the month but weather doesn't care. Scorches all in its wake.

Robert is miserable in his hot box of an apartment, the AC perpetually broken, no matter how many times he tries to fix it. He gets invited to a 4th of July barbecue by the team and shows up with a box of beers and a melon under his arms, Beef pulling at the leash and almost making him drop it all.

Saved at the last minute by two tan arms effortlessly grabbing both the beers and the melon before they drop, getting them to safety. Like the hero he is.

The night is fun, loud, messy, and just a little lonely.

Robert takes in his team, his heroes, the people that make up his new family, eyes pointedly trying not to linger on one figure in particular. They fail. Everytime, like a firework in the sky, he draws Roberts attention without even trying. A laugh, a move, a flip of the hair, a lick of flame fired off into the air. Robert is like a moth being drawn to a beautiful disastrous light. It can and will burn him if he gets too close. Has before. But never before has he craved it like he craves now.

Dusk settles over them, distant explosions increasing in numbers as the la neighborhoods start their festivities. Their yard is no different and soon fire light the sky. Colorful, explosive, the brightest they could get.

And yet the only thing that Roberts eyes track, shamed for their greed but relentless, is the figure that dances in-between the exploding fire in the sky.

He watches as an ifrit flickers between colorful blasts, setting off his own flames and almost diving into the celestial Frey. He didn't know he could do that.

When the fireworks run out, and the flamester lands next to him, breathless, sweaty, and so so alive, you would have to pry Roberts eyes off of him.

"What's up, BobBob? Did you enjoy the fireworks? " weren't they beautiful? Prism got them all the way from TJ!"

"Yeah. They were beautiful. I love them" mutters Robert, staring at the other head on.

They both know he doesn't mean the pyrotechnics

[droggibecher]

Y2K FLAMBAE

New prompt and god! I am proud of this one!🔥🔥🔥

[eiiegeia]

you could say they crushed those party games

[y00bi]

#flambirthdayweek day 2 - ⋆｡°✩ Y2Kbae ⋆｡°✩

[crispmbee455]

Diva n the unc she befriend

[batt3r11]

its britney bitch

[sunnyfrenchfries]

Dispatch, the Movie

Hmmmmmm

🤔

My mind is making another AU!

Pyrotechnic Chad, stage name Flambae and legacy stunt coordinator Robert Robertson III. They're working together for a movie that SDN studios is putting together, with the famous Mandy Blazer as the director. It's gonna be her Oscar pitch so it has to be perfect. The issue is that her producer, Mr. Phenomaman (he's Greek), has spiraled into a depressive episode due to their break and production has stalled. With the tensions building high, can a stunt coordinator make his team of arrogant actors pull it together and make sure that all the fights, explosions, and drowning scenes go off without a hitch? Or will they crash and burn like their hopes for an Oscar and any professional credibility?

I don't know shit about production process, but I'm bamboozling the idea that the stunt coordinator is in charge of making sure all the stunts and explosions are controlled and choreographed correctly. So you got Robert as an overworked professional, trying to wrangle together diva performer Prism, leading man who's too afraid to shine Waterboy, pyrotechnic Flambae who just wants to see the world burn on his own terms, and doesn't care about actor safety, their antagonist Victor, who hates the fact that he has to be in a green screen mock up suit for most of the movie, fight coordinator in legal trouble Punch Up, camerawoman extraordinaire, able to get a shot from any dimension Malevola, dance and fight coordinator Coupe, composer Golem who wants to make sure the explosions go off exactly in time with his crescendo, and finally, the brattiest PA this side of the Mississippi, Visi.

[itsflambaebitch]

I just hand painted 14 tiny fuego glasses for a set of DnD dice inspired by you. Whatchu think? :>

Looks sick. I’m not into nerd shit like that normally but when you’re done with it send a pic ❤️‍🔥

[taosdungeon]

Chill bro no one is taking him from you

[flamberttext]

Based on this…

[itsflambaebitch]

CAUGHT IN Y2K...

Bitch did you dress me up as fucking KANYE?????

[bastard-eyeless-bigshot]

🗣️OLD MICRO-CASSETTE PLAYER ACQUIRED TO BE DISASSEMBLED‼️

WEEKEND PLANS ACHIEVED

[64mpg]

probably feels good as fuck to retain imformation

[mistermachoman]

"are you okay?" absolutely not but i'd rather kill everyone in the room than talk about it

[tonwap]

Damn it I did this to avoid coloring before coloring the next comic! Now THIS needs to be colored.

[cinnamonspiderrrrrrrr]

in order to truly get rid of misogyny in fandoms we need to treat girl characters the same way we treat guy characters. Say you’d hit her with your car. Say you want to see her crying and trying and failing to keep her emotions hidden. Say you want her to get worse. Say you want to chew on her like a squeaky toy. For feminism