EXPECTATIONS
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“All here in this man who tried to offer me the very best he had. I climb onto the bed and wrap my arms around him. Oh Stephen, oh my love, and he lets me take him. Awkwardly we hold onto each other then, tight. His skin and bones showing the other side of love we’ve arrived at. Not hate. I see it now, and so clearly tonight, that the opposite of love is despair.”
The Lesser Bohemians - Eimear McBride
“More! More! they complain and I lay, am laid down. Still, I have laid on beds before. Who objects? Answer – No one. No one in here ever does to a speed quick kiss from two drink thick mouths. Sure ye’re nice lads. Decent lads. Nestled in my neck. What are ye at? Well, what would you like? To be dead no that’s not right. Twine me round. More kisses perhaps?”
The Lesser Bohemians - Eimear McBride
“I hadn’t initially considered “why” as an actual question but, as the exchange dragged on, I turned it over in my mind. Wasn’t it that thing related to self-worth? ... Yes, that was it: you were supposed to remember that you were better than him. But why were you supposed to be better than him?” “I just don’t,” I said, and I heard my voice break.”
Either/Or - Elif Batuman
“I lean towards you. Marriage has affected the laws of gravity. We will now revolve around each other. You will exert gravity on me, and I will exert gravity on you. We are one another’s moons. You are holding onto my feet with both hands, as if otherwise you might fall right off the bed. I think I might float up and hit the ceiling, splat, if you let go. Please don’t let go.”
Miss Kansas on Judgement Day - Kelly Link
“If you want something and can’t have it, want something else. Want what you deserve. You’ll probably get it.”
Malibu - Ottessa Moshfegh
“The loved one suffers. All loved ones suffer. Love is not enough to prevent this. Love is not enough. Love is enough. The thing that you wished for. Was this it?”
The Lesson - Kelly Link
“I felt my face contort with sorrow. I would never again climb into Mesut’s white Opel, we would never drive around the phallogocentric columns in which Byzantine people had hidden, we wouldn’t drink astringent wine on that roof, or go to the hotel and have sex for hours. Was that what was so painful: that nobody had ever come so close to me—nobody had ever seen me, and come right up to me, and kept going, and looked into my eyes so seriously, with so little fear?”
Either/Or - Elif Batuman
“But I knew I was being childish and unrealistic, and Svetlana was right. Love wasn’t a slumber party with your best friend. Love was dangerous, violent, with an element of something repulsive; attraction had a permeable border with repulsion. Love had death in it, and madness. To try to escape those things was immature and anti-novelistic.”
Either/Or - Elif Batuman
“Ivan had said things like that: “maybe we never really understood each other, maybe we never had a real conversation.” I thought this was absurd. But his viewpoint invalidated mine. If one person thought it was a conversation, and the other person thought it wasn’t a conversation, the second person was right.”
Either/Or - Elif Batuman
“For the first five or six days I didn’t suffer at all, carried along by the change of scene and the sense of a progression. This was the next step in the story. Ivan was in Tokyo and I was here. It was like when two characters in a movie went to two different places. Then something changed. My life no longer seemed like a movie to me. Ivan was still in the movie, but had left me behind. Nothing extraordinary was happening anymore, or would ever happen again.”
The Idiot - Elif Batuman
“Ivan, Ivan. He got up in the morning, put on some clothes he got from somewhere, drank his orange juice, and went out into the world of chalkboards and motorcycles. He could be really arrogant sometimes. His jeans were always too short, and he thought clowns had something complicated to teach us about human fallibility. And still no waking moment went by that I didn’t think of him—he was in the background of everything I thought. My own perceptions were no longer enough to constitute the physical world for me. Every sound, every syllable that reached me, I wanted to filter through his consciousness.”
The Idiot - Elif Batuman
“I’m supposed to be really hurt by your last email. And you’re supposed to be really pissed off. You’re not supposed to be making small talk.” I knew “small talk” was a phrase he had learned from me. And I knew he was right—I was supposed to be mad. But I felt so happy to see him. It was impossible to hide how happy I felt, and even if it had been possible, I wouldn’t have wanted to.”
The Idiot - Elif Batuman
“Even though I had a deep conviction that I was good at writing, and that in some way I already was a writer, this conviction was completely independent of my having ever written anything, or being able to imagine ever writing anything, that I thought anyone would like to read.”
The Idiot - Elif Batuman
“199. For to wish to forget how much you loved someone—and then, to actually forget—can feel, at times, like the slaughter of a beautiful bird who chose, by nothing short of grace, to make a habitat of your heart.”
Bluets - Maggie Nelson
“I forgot I was driving. The street was replaced by the most vivid memories of the past or by bitter fantasies, and often I dented fenders, or braked at the last moment, but angrily, as if reality were inappropriate and had intervened to destroy a conjured world that was the only one that at that moment counted for me.”
The Days of Abandonment - Elena Ferrante
“No one mourns a young woman's life; no folklore or songs celebrate it. It doesn't exist. A useless time.”
A Frozen Woman - Annie Ernaux
“These things happened to me so that I might recount them. Maybe the true purpose of my life is for my body, my sensations and my thoughts to become writing, in other words, something intelligible and universal, causing my existence to merge into the lives and heads of other people.”
Happening - Annie Ernaux