Evacuation
hold on this is the third time I’m dying over thai post but
TWITTER FOR TEXAS INSTRUMENTS CALCULATOR Ti-84???????? JASON 😭
$LAYYYTER
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Evacuation
hold on this is the third time I’m dying over thai post but
TWITTER FOR TEXAS INSTRUMENTS CALCULATOR Ti-84???????? JASON 😭
god this movie was so amazing
Damian Wayne is pretty.
This is something that Dick, Jason, and Tim have learned to accept and begrudgingly deal with the consequences of.
Damian was bound to be attractive, what with having Bruce Wayne as a father and Talia al Ghul as a mother; there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he was going to grow up beautifully. And he did.
Long were the days of people cooing over him and telling him, 'Oh my God, you look so much like your father when he was your age.' By the time Damian hit 14 is when he really started to grow into his looks. The older he got, the more obvious it became who he took after.
Damian had inherited a lot from his mother, be it her laugh, her strength, or her flair for the dramatics (though if you were to ask her, she'd say he got it from Bruce). He had also inherited her slight and lean frame along with her height—an even 5'8". His green eyes are a given; however, the long lashes that framed them came from his father, along with his nose and eyebrows. The rest of him was all Talia, which made him look rather soft and delicate, something he was surprisingly never insecure about. He knew his strengths and what he was capable of, and if he happened to look like his mother, then so be it; she's a beautiful woman, and he's honored to have her resemblance.
Now, back to his brothers and how this affects them.
When one is pretty, one gets attention; however, not all of it is good attention. Because Damian has never really taken his looks into consideration, he is completely unaware of the effect he has on people.
This leaves Dick, Jason, and Tim having to deal with the weirdos and creeps trying to get too close to their baby brother.
worth it
Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.
Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.
He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.
Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.
But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.
Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.
Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.
So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?
Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.
Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.
Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.
Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.
Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.
Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.
But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?
Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.
Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.
So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.
Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.
At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.
The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.
Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.
All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.
Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.
But by GOD is he trying.
This has definitely already been done by now but I don't care I'm excited for this movie
Not the two girls in front of me at the campus center talking about Jesus and I'm behind them writing the smuttiest piece of fanfic I've ever written yet. 🥴🥴🥴
Sorry I've been MIA for a while but I just saw this trash ass take on Twitter and I have to share it. Imagine thinking "The Batman" (2022) was bad purely because you as the viewer, didn't understand Riddler's motivation. Like....
Baby girl, just say you didn't watch the movie or that higher level critical thinking just isn't in your repertoire because why would you embarrass yourself like that 😭
Okay, so I've made a batboys in their Hogwarts houses thing before and I have to go back to it since I've recently seen a thing that tried to put Damian in Hufflepuff because of his loyalty to his animals. Which don't get me wrong, that's great, but it doesn't necessarily mean that Damian belongs in the Hufflepuff house. The houses are, or at least should be, based on what the person values. This is why, despite whatever everyone else believes about Jason belonging in literally every other house due to his recklessness, his smarts, or his conniving, I believe he is a Hufflepuff. He's loyal beyond belief. Jason is loyal to the outsiders, he's loyal to Gotham, and he's loyal to his family, and he's loyal to what he values. Like the best example I can think of right away is Under The Red Hood movie, the 2010 one. He straight up tells Bruce that he forgives him for not saving him from the explosion. But he doesn't understand and can't forgive Bruce for leaving the Joker alive. This is such a good example of loyalty. He truly believes that if Bruce was as loyal to him as he was to Bruce, then Bruce would have killed the Joker and believes he should have. Because Jason would have killed the Joker if he Killed Batman (which is a path you can take in the 2020 interactive movie). Jason views loyalty as making a commitment to put that person above everything else (in their father-son proxy relationship) in the end. It's why he's so upset about Bruce not killing Joker. He doesn't quite get that not everyone views loyalty the way he does and his take on Loyalty is not shared by Bruce. This might be long-winded and not the best explained, and I know there are other examples, but I mean, he belongs in Hufflepuff. He's just so God Damn loyal.
Wally: Is
Wally: Is that my sweatshirt??
Kon: oh. haha yeah, i guess it is. do you want it back?
Wally: i mean its fine, i have a million but,,,, why do you have my sweatshirt?
Kon: well you see, Tim is probably the biggest Clothes Thief on the planet, and he steals my clothes all the time but i he’s tiny and none of his clothes fit me so when i steal something back its almost always an article of clothing that he stole from someone else which is the only reason he owns something large enough for me to wear. i stole this hoodie from Tim, who stole it from Dick, who I’m assuming stole it from you.
Wally: and you don’t find that strange?
Kon: no. Bro, you’re my boyfriend-in-law.
Wally:
Kon:
Roy: *walks in wearing a shirt that obviously belongs to Kon*
Wally: Roy, that is Literally Kon’s shirt
Roy: no biggie, we’re boyfriends-in-law so its cool
Wally:
Kon:
Roy:
Wally: WH-
for @faiasakura who said “Jason buys these to sit in at the batcave”
Dick: My brother officially turned 10 yesterday and because I was in Bloodhaven I couldn't see him. So, I called instead to sing happy birthday and when I was done he said "Tt gay" and hung up on me.
Other Police Officer: Is that the same brother that put his burned hand on your heart because "it was so nice and cold"
Dick: Nah that was Jason.
Other Police Officer: How many siblings do you have??
Dick: Legally, emotionally, or physically?
Without saying the actual name what are the batfam's majors
Dick: Technically that's murder but it depends on what state you're in
Jason: Mercutio is gay and Homer never existed
Tim: For the last time stop asking me to take your stupid engagement pictures for free
Damian: My semester portfolio is due in 8 hours and I haven't started. Time to play Animal Crossing
Duke: I don't really know what a black hole is but neither do you
Cullen: I've been titrating for 6 hours. My eyes burn despite my safety goggles. Time and space have lost all meaning. I just wanted to make Splenda
Stephanie: OOOH FREUD YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO DIG UP YOUR CORPSE AND PUMMEL YOUR FUCKING FACE IN
Cassandra: Is it a rock or a bone? Let's lick it and see
Barbara: Don't ask me I just copied and pasted from Stack Overflow
Harper: That's a nice bridge you got there. It'd be a shame if someone added some trusses
Carrie: Gender is a scam invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms
Kate: Let's just ban the entire government
Alfred: In the wise words of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: kiss my ass
Selina: One of these turns blue in the dark, one of these makes delicious yogurt, and one of these will trigger the next global pandemic
Bruce: I'm not a Republican and I wish corporate America a fiery downfall but it's easy money and I'm dead inside
Victor: Did you know Batman had contingency plans for every hero in the world?
Dick: …Yeah, I helped with some and have my own.
Teen Titans: WHAT!?
-
Roy: I can’t believe both Bruce and Dick have contingency plans for us heroes, talk about mistrust, right Jay.
Jason: …
Outlaws: YOU DICK!
-
Bart: I just heard Batman, Nightwing and Red Hood has contingency plans for all of us. Tim you gotta tell them that’s not right.
Tim: But I have the same plans and some extra if the first don’t work.
Young Justice: WHAT!?
-
Birds of Prey: I’m glad you’re not part of Batman’s inner circle Oracle, turns out they have contingency plans for all of us. How can we trust someone who doesn’t trust us.
Oracle: But you trust me.
BoP: ARE YOU KIDDING US!?
-
Jon: So you have plans I guess?
Damian: To take you all down? Of course, doesn’t everybody?
They all got batburgers after