I Am Sarcastic And Work In Retail. Try Me

Just one anxiety-filled sarcastic nutcase trying to survive.

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re a villain who finally managed to defeat the hero once and for all. For a time, you’re happy, but you grow bored and create a hero who goes insane. Now you have to stop them, what do you do?

[batcrazykat]

So....Megamind?

[curiouslystrongmintsblog]

Detroit: Become Human as John Mulaney Quotes

(Someone recently did a post like this when this post was still in the works, and if you happen to be the person who created that post please feel free to message me and ask me to take this post down if you want. I have chosen different quotes though so I didn’t completely copy that person’s post, sorry)

—

Connor:

Markus:

Kara:

Alice:

Hank:

Elijah Kamski:

Chloe:

North:

[batcrazykat]

I do not recommend retail for anyone and my anxiety agrees

[batcrazykat]

Filling out taxes is like playing with a create your own adventure book. If line 42 is less that line 78, go to line 74 and visit the wizard. If not, skip to line 84 and go to hell with all these numbers

[batcrazykat]

After pooling all my data,

Working in retail has taught me that most of the time the worst customers in the world are the middle-aged white fuckers who think they can get anything handed to them if they yell at you for three minutes then demand a manager.

[batcrazykat]

As a twenty year old virgin I have a strong urge to try out sex, but as an aromantic with social anxiety and a total of four friends it ain’t gonna happen.

[batcrazykat]

Missing:

One dose of sanity. 

If found, tell that little bitch good riddance.

[batcrazykat]

The horrible thing about Rick and Morty is that literally EVERY THEORY is both canon and yet wrong at the same fucking time!

[batcrazykat]

Grocery Outlet, Bargain MURDER

Cause it's cheaper here than anywhere else

[srsfunny]

Wash Your Hands Please

[batcrazykat]

Me:*is worried cause hasn't had period in over a month

Period: Hey bitch!

Me: Go the fuck away.

[batcrazykat]

I love pets when they get all close and comfy and snuggle into your side but in the back of your head you're just waiting for them to do the thing they always fucking do: Look you in the eye and sneeze.

[chief0keefe]

IM SCREAMING

[chief0keefe]

IT CAME FULL CIRCLE IM HOLLERIN

[chief0keefe]

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER

[chief0keefe]

IS HE GOING TO BE DRAFTED NEXT???!!!??

[championofmediocrities]

This is so sweet and pure. Lol.

[mooserattler]

I’m crying. I’m also rooting for the Blues now.

[fanboy-trav-deactivated20190424]

@kvnbksa have you seen the updates?

[chief0keefe]

more updates

[batcrazykat]

Attention all shoppers:

Yes, we do know where the bathrooms are. No, you must show your ID to buy the beer. Yes, you DO have to pay for bags. And no, we cannot get somebody to open another line. Just wait your turn. 

Sincerely, 

That b***h watching you waste your money while you complain that we’re doing a bad job and are slow. 

[batcrazykat]

Why is it that moms always complain that you only say one word answers to them but you ask them a question and get the same damn treatment back?

[batcrazykat]

Today I found out there's a small hole in the backyard fence. How do I know? Because my German Shorthair Pointer found it and decided to explore my neighbor's backyard

[betsyschuylers]

SORRY BUT YOUR PASSWORD MUST CONTAIN ONE NUMBER, ONE CAPITAL LETTER, THE COW AS WHITE AS MILK, THE CAPE AS RED AS BLOOD, THE HAIR AS YELLOW AS CORN, AND THE SLIPPER AS PURE AS GOLD

[batcrazykat]

well the password was raised to be charming, not sincere