Erebus

Eric

[batserebus]

Stack: My sister-in-law is pregnant. can't wait to find out if im going to be an aunt or an uncle

Smoke: That's not how this works.

Stack: Pretty sure it is.

[batserebus]

Sammie: Stack, do you have any fears?

Stack: Yes. What if something dope happens and I'm not there to see it?

[batserebus]

Sammie: If Stack and I were drowning, who would you save?

Smoke: You can't swim?

Sammie: It's a hypothetical question, Smoke. Who would you save?

Smoke: My time and effort.

[batserebus]

Sammie: Remmick, I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

Remmick: And for punching me in the face?

Sammie: No. You deserved that.

[batserebus]

Sammie: Why are Stack and Mary sitting back to back?

Smoke: They had a fight.

Sammie: Why are they holding hands?

Smoke: They get sad when they fight.

[batserebus]

Stack, after being saved by Smoke: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Smoke: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away.

Stack: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.

[batserebus]

Pearline: Why does Stack get to pick the movie?

Stack: Because I'm family member of the week and family member of the week gets to pick the movie.

Sammie: But you're family member of the week, every week.

Stack: So?

Sammie: And you pick family member of the week.

Stack: Are you accusing me of nepotism?

[batserebus]

Smoke: Remmick makes me so angry so quickly. It's remarkable.

Remmick: I literally only said 6 words.

Smoke: Yet here I am, boiling with hate.

[batserebus]

Stack: That's one of my biggest fears.

Sammie: What is?

Stack: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut.

Sammie: You would eat yourself?

Stack: I wouldn't even question it.

[batserebus]

Stack, to Sammie: Please, picking locks is my specialty.

Stack: *throws a brick through the window*

Stack: Okay, let's go.

[batserebus]

Smoke: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Remmick: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Smoke: It fucking sucks.

Remmick: That's not constructive criticism.

[batserebus]

Sammie: I'm immune to mean and hurtful words because my friends say nice things to me every day and their love protects me.

Remmick: I'm immune to mean and hurtful words because my friends say mean things to me so I'm prepared.

[batserebus]

I was rewatching The Good Place and was wondering why Tahani and Michael didn’t have soulmates while Eleanor, Chidi, Jason, and Janet had them. I realized that Tahani didn’t need a soulmate because her arc is her realizing that she doesn’t need anyone to define her own happiness. Michael’s arc is about his redemption from being selfish and evil to a good person who cares about his friends.

[batserebus]

(Kevin and Sophie skipping stones on lake.)

Sophie: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Kevin, whispering: Take that you fucking lake.

[batserebus]

Eliot: Hardison, I like this guy.

Hardison: Ask him to watch a movie.

Eliot: Wanna go to the movies this weekend?

Hardison: No, I meant ask him.

Eliot: Just did.

Hardison: What did he say?

EIiot: You tell me. I like you, dumbass.

[batserebus]

Parker: I spy with my little eye something that starts with S.

Hardison: Sunshine?

Parker: No.

Eliot: She’s talking about Nate and Sophie.

Hardison: Sexual tension?

[batserebus]

Eliot: Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Sophie: You’re literally making flower crowns for Parker and Hardison as we speak.

Eliot, pointing a rose stem threateningly: You’re on thin fucking ice.