find me now at @viridiesa !!!

viv | she/her | i've moved :))

[batshitbarnes]

▬masterlist

the complete masterlist of all fanfiction on this blog.

- 🌿 I AM NO LONGER AT THIS LOCATION, check me out at @viridiesa if you want to see more from me. 🌿

{last updated; 15/4/22.}

characters are in alphabetically order, if a character has more than ten separate works i will create a separate post for them linking in this one. all works are labelled in this masterlist with reader pronouns, what genre of fanfic it is, trigger warnings if necessary (actual piece will also have them on the post very clearly), and the date it was published :)

aleksander morozova ▪ grishaverse

❝ are you upset with me? ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, mild fluff; {29/5/21}

❝ i’ll give you everything. ❞ - TW: TOXIC RELATIONSHIP !!! ⟶ gn!reader, angst(?); {14/8/21}

❝ romantic headcanons. ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, fluff headcanons; {8/12/21}

❝ ruling ravka headcanons. ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, headcanons; {28/12/21}

❝ forever. ❞ ⟶ f!reader, bittersweet angst; {19/1/22}

anakin skywalker ▪ star wars

❝ something for a moment. ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, bittersweet fluff; {18/9/21}

billy russo ▪ the punisher

❝ sneak. ❞ - TW: TOXIC BEHAVIOURS !!! ⟶ f!reader, mild; {7/1/22}

bucky barnes ▪ mcu

❝ let me help. ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, soft angst; {11/5/21}

james norrington ▪ potc

❝ i'll be right here. ❞ ⟶ f!reader, mild fluff; {6/1/22}

legolas greenleaf ▪ tolkien

❝ serene. ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, fluff drabble; {21/9/21}

❝ affection headcanons. ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, fluff headcanons; {12/10/21}

leonard mccoy ▪ star trek

❝ next to you. ❞ ⟶ f!reader, fluff oneshot; {15/4/22}

morgana pendragon ▪ merlin bbc

❝ sweet sunshine. ❞ ⟶ f!reader, fluff oneshot; {7/4/22}

will turner ▪ potc

❝ callouses. ❞ ⟶ gn!reader, fluff drabble; {4/12/21}

[batshitbarnes]

💌 Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌 🥰

ahhhh thank you kara! i hope you're doing well :DD also right back at you, you've left such an impact on me and my writing <3

[batshitbarnes]

hey viv! dropping by to say hello. hope you have been well <3

hi kara! I have been very well thank you (just got back from Multiverse of Madness w my bestie ✋😩, idek if ur into marvel but I had a very nice time) it's honestly so nice to hear from you, I hope you're doing well too <3

[batshitbarnes]

▬❝ next to you. ❞

summary: after paying Leonard a visit in his quarters the unexpected happens. you're put into a twenty-four-hour quarantine and well... there's only one bed ⟶ {leonard "bones" mccoy x f!reader}

warnings: quarantine (not covid related but just in case), swearing

requested by @karasong !!! thank you so much, I hope you enjoy :)

🌿: "you are worthy of yourself :)"

find more of my work here // masterlist !!!

ONESHOT. ⇾ 4103 WORDS

For the first time in weeks, yours and Leonard’s schedules had aligned. He’d come from a particular uneventful six-hour shift while you’d just spent the last hour and a half trying to scrap some sort of alien saliva off a turbo lift. You could’ve easily conked out moments after your shower but you were determined to spend some much needed time with one of the only people on the starship that didn’t try to make small talk about the gravitational mass of Jupiter’s moons. Leonard had rolled his eyes when he found you already sitting at the table in his quarters when he got there.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” he grumbled. 

“Oh boo,” you said, waving away his ‘greeting’, “you know you’re happy to see me.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.” You might have once taken offence to the lack of humour in his voice but years of knowing him told you it was all just friendly banter.

He walked past you to the counter nearby and put down his PADD and personal med-kit. You swivelled on your chair to look at him. “You and I haven’t had a chance to sit down in ages, what’s new Doctor McCoy?” you asked, “Anything exciting going on?”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “Y’know how it is. Someone gets a cold, then there are twenty of them snivelling and sniffing in my office. Normal broken bits n pieces. Couple o’ concussions, few dislocated shoulders.”

“Boring. I heard the Captain brought a new STI on board from that last planet we visited, you gotta tell me if that’s true?”

He reached into his cupboards for two glasses, propping them up on the counter one by one as he searched for a drink. “Why? You ‘fraid you got it from him?” He looked up at you for a moment with a raised brow. 

You laughed. “Not in a million years. He’s not my type anyway.”

“Oh yeah,” Leonard said, popping the lid out of the scotch he’d found. He refrained from looking at you as he spoke. “Why, what is your type?”

Oh, c’mon, you stupid man. “Oh, I don’t know. Someone important I suppose.”

He chuckled at that, his deep throaty chuckle. “Captain not important enough for you, sweetheart.” You ran your finger along the edge of the table.

“Course not, I only settle for Admirals,” you said, sticking your nose up.

“Right, right,” he said as he brought your two glasses over, sliding into the seat across from you. You wriggled back around so you were facing him again as he took a sip, sighing as he did so.

“Judge me all you want but last I heard you were flirting with alien princesses. Who’s got high standards now, huh?” 

“God, don’t tell me Jim’s been spreading that one,” he groaned. You smiled at him.

“Oh, you bet your ass he has. I do wonder what you said that made her turn blue,” you teased as he put his head in his hands. 

“Jim asked me to flatter her, said it was customary, all I said was she looked nice nuthin’ more.”

“Oh ho ho, really? I heard she got a “positively stunning and majestic” as well as a bit of “most beautiful being you’d ever seen”,” you said, poking him in the arm. A tinge of red flashed into his ears as he waved you off him.

The grumpy old doctor was one of your closest friends on board the Enterprise and off it. Being in his company like this was always so easy. Even in those moments where you caught yourself staring a little too long at his jawline or his toned arms. You’d admitted to yourself (and Uhura) long ago that you’d noticed his attractiveness but it felt wrong to even consider that you thought of him more than just being pretty. He really was a brilliant friend and you didn’t want that to change. Plus all friends had a flirty side to their banter, right?

“What’s it like for you at the moment?” Leonard asked, “Down in engineering.”

“Tiring,” you sighed, “I almost prefer it when something big needs doing. All the basic maintenance has me running all over the ship. Did you know that there are four thousand, two hundred and ninety-four coolant pipes that run off the main compartment? I scanned a hundred and thirty-seven of them before I found the one I needed to fix.”

“Damn.” That pretty much summed it up in your opinion.

“God, I can’t wait for shore leave next month. Haven’t had enough sleep since the last one.”

Leonard frowned. “The hell are you doin’ sitting around here then? You should be asleep right about now.”

“If I did that then I wouldn’t be able to see my favourite blue shirt, would I?”

“Your favourite, huh? What’d Pointy Ears do to piss you off now?” 

Now you were frowning. “Spock?” you laughed in disbelief, “Why would Spock be my favourite?”

“Ain’t the two of you buddies?”

“Yeah, but I like you way more.” It honestly startled you that Leonard didn’t know that. “Everyone knows that, even Spock.”

“Well then,” he said, lifting his glass up again, “Good for me.” 

“What did you think you were to me?” you asked, almost offended that you hadn’t expressed how much you cared properly.

“I dunno,” he said, taking a swig of scotch before looking up at you, “Guess not anyone worth missing sleep for.”

“Seriously?” Maybe you were taking this a bit personally but you felt like you’d failed. He wasn’t your best, best friend but he was definitely way up there; way above almost everyone else on this ship.

“Yeah, ain’t a big deal,” he said brushing it off, “Pleasant surprise in fact.”

You were gonna open your mouth to say something else but your attention was drawn elsewhere when the door to Leonard’s quarters began to flash with a red light and the Captain’s voice suddenly burst over the intercom.

“Apologies for the interruption people, but I must inform you that the Medbay level and the two above and below it are now in a twenty-four-hour quarantine,” Kirk sighed before continuing and you could just imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke, “Ensign Nurzik believed someone had caught a deadly and highly contagious Hirogen virus which has now been identified as what I’m gonna call the Common Cold.”

You dropped your head into your hands. Godammit.

“Unfortunately there is no way to undo the quarantine as maintenance on that system is currently being completed. All individuals currently quarantined in their quarters or other rooms on the levels previously identified will need to report to the bridge as soon as this message is done so we can make sure your work is completed while you’re unavailable. We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Please feel free to contact HR for assistance while you’re confined to your quarters. Kirk out.”

With a click, you were in silence. The door continued to flash red and for a moment you just sat there in shock.

“When we get outta here imma smack that idiot that hit the quarantine button,” Leonard said. You laughed weakly in agreement. 

You couldn’t believe it. You were stuck in here for the next twenty-four hours. A whole day. You had things to do, a nap to take, a monitor to hit with a wrench till it turned on again. This had really thrown a big fat metaphorical spanner in the works.

“Jesus Christ, a common cold,” he continued, “How thick d’ya have to be? 

“Ugh,” you groaned, “This is fucking rich.”

“You didn’t by any chance bring a pack of cards with ya?” he asked. You shook your head.

Of course, your luck was this bad. Not only were you stuck but since you’d invaded his quarters, you were stuck with Leonard. Sure, he might be one of the few people you’d pick to be stranded on a deserted island with but he hadn’t exactly had any say in you sharing his - less than spacious - quarters for the next day. 

“Ya hungry?” he said as he got up, making his way over to the replicator. 

“Not particularly but I could go for some chocolate cake.”

He snorted at that. For a man with award-winning complaining skills, he was far less grumbly than he should be. 

“Comin’ right up.” 

Less than a minute later, he was sliding a plate towards you as he put his own down as well. Grabbing the fork placed beside the slice of cake you chuckled to yourself as you noticed what he had. “Victoria sponge, why am I not surprised?”

“‘Cos you know I got good taste, that’s why,” he said, shoving a forkful into his mouth. 

“Very true.” Digging into your own cake you nodded in agreement. “Very true indeed.” His lips twisted into a slight smile. 

The cake was good. So good that you finished long before Leonard who was savouring every bite. You’d licked your fork clean and were looking at your empty plate in defeat. 

“Self-restraint. That’s what you need,” Leonard said. He still had just under half of his slice left.

“Whatever,” you grumbled, “Just because you eat tiny-ass bites.” He didn’t bother replying, just smiled as he ate.

The familiar sound of a communicator beeping made you look up. Leonard tapped the device on his chest. “McCoy.”

“Hey Bones,” Kirk’s voice said through the device, “Are you in your quarters right now, cause you haven’t reported to the bridge yet and Nurse Chapel tells me you’re not in Med.”

“Shit,” Leonard muttered. You’d both completely forgotten to let anyone know that you were out of action. “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry ‘bout that, Jim. Completely slipped my mind.”

“Well, we got that all sorted out, I’ll leave you to your day of isolation.”

Leonard was about to reply when you smacked the table lightly and pointed at yourself. 

“Oh yeah, wait, uh. Y/N is in here too. Might as well save her from making another call.”

“Is she now?” Funny how perfectly you could imagine the captain’s expression just by his words. “‘Completely slipped my mind’? Really Bones? Sure you weren’t just preoccupied?”

You raised your eyebrows at the man across from you who was clearly avoiding your eyes. “Hilarious, Jim, really. Anything I can do for you, or will that be all?” he asked dryly.

“I mean, I would be very interested to know what Y/N’s doing there, unless of course-”

“Bye Jim.” He closed the call hurriedly. “You’d think they’d have chosen less of a dickhead to captain this place.”

“Hmm,” you agreed, “Dickhead maybe, but I would be very interested to know what he was talking about, or rather why?”

“Ha, ha, ha,” he replied without a shred of humour, “You’re just as bad as him, y’know that?”

“I’m honoured you think so highly of me.”

Rolling his eyes hard, he got up from the table and headed in the direction of the bathroom door. 

“Whatcha doing?” you asked, slightly miffed by his sudden movement.

“Having a shower. Might as well not stew in this uniform if we’re stuck in here.”

“Oh, okay.” You could help but felt a flushed. Leonard McCoy was comfortable having a shower with you alone in his quarters. It wasn’t anything at all, in fact, you figured most anyone else on the ship would be comfortable in the same situation but it was different. Everything was different with him. 

The sound of the shower came through the wall after a moment. He’d gotten undressed real fast, you thought before you caught yourself. Not that it mattered, it was fine, why were you thinking about that?

Slumped forward in your chair you fantasised about that nap you’d been planning on. Oh, to crawl into your own bed and snuggle into the covers and fall asleep. A cosy cocoon of bliss. If you could teleport that’s where you’d be. Head falling down onto your folded forearms you groaned aloud before whispering a soft profanity. For the first time, you felt confident describing yourself as vexed.

“Hey.”

You shot up - and awake you quickly realised - at the hand on your back and the soft greeting. Sleep had really snuck up on you there. 

Leonard stood beside you looking down at you with an amused smile. His dark hair was still damp and his towel was around his neck. He’d traded his uniform for simple pyjamas as well. They looked nice.

“Sorry, I guess I was just-” you started, quickly interrupted by a jaw-splitting yawn.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he said, “But I gotta say a table ain’t the best place to go to sleep.” You hummed at that, feeling a dull ache in your shoulders and neck. “I already changed the sheets so why don’t you go get some shut-eye in an actual bed, huh?”

“What about you then? Where are you gonna sleep?” you asked. You knew Leonard well enough to know despite his near-constant complaining he’d be happy to give up his comfort for someone else - except maybe not Kirk but that was out of spite.

“The floor’s not that bad,” he said with a laugh though you knew he wasn’t joking.

“You seriously think I’m gonna let you sleep on the floor after I came in here uninvited? I didn’t think you were that thick, Dr McCoy,” you said, folding your arms.

“I ain’t tired.” 

“Well, I am and as I just proved this table isn’t that bad so you take your bed and I’ll stay where I am, thank you very much.”

He shook his head. “Can’t let you do that. We both know how hard you’ve been working, you deserve a decent sleep.”

“Guess we’re stuck at a standstill,” you said, putting your hands up.

“Well then, guess we should be mature adults about this.”

“Absolutely,” you agreed, “Paper scissors rock?”

The look he gave you reminded you of a disapproving teacher you’d had at the Academy. “It’s called sharing,” he said, not entertaining your idea for a moment, “I trust you enough not to steal the covers.”

“Oh.”

“Unless that’s gonna make you uncomfortable.” He didn’t seem to have considered that possibility till then.

“Not at all.” Uh oh, that was too quick.

“I’m taking the right side of the bed an’ you can borrow a sleep shirt if you need,” he told you before heading through to his bedroom. It didn’t feel right to go after him instantly so you sat there for a bit, heart beating faster. 

The shirt you were wearing was clean but it wasn't fit for sleeping you knew that. Not breathable enough and the fabric was kinda scratchy if you were honest. However, the thought of borrowing one of Leonard’s shirts gave you a different breathing issue. He said you could borrow it. He said it was fine. It’s just a shirt.

When you walked into his room, Leonard was standing in front of his mirror, pulling a comb through his hair. A single pale blue shirt sat folded on the left corner of the bed.

“Thank you,” you said softly, reaching for it, “Mind if I use the bathroom?”

“Go ahead,” he said, not sparing you a glance, “Use whatever. ‘Cept my toothbrush obviously.” If your stomach wasn’t a whirlpool of nerves you’d have shot back something about ‘your plans being ruined’ but instead, you were willing yourself to chill out.

Once the door to the ensuite had slid shut you shook out the shirt. Just a shirt, just a shirt, you repeated to yourself again and again. Belief was a powerful thing and if you could just persuade yourself that he was your friend being friendly everything would be okay.

Stripping your own to fall on the floor you pulled the sleep shirt on. No matter how rudely anxious you were, you had to admit that this shirt was a hundred times better than yours. The fabric was so soft and in itself made you ready to pass out. It didn’t take you much longer to finish up after using the toilet and quickly swishing around a mouthful of water. You felt a little bad for not brushing twice a day but these were dire times after all.

Leonard was already in bed when you emerged, a book in his hands as he leaned against the headboard, the covers up by his hips, his pillow to the side of him. “Alright with you if I read for a bit,” he asked, looking up at you.

“Nope, go ahead. I’m probably gonna be out as soon as I get comfy,” you said. Trying to be as natural as possible you lifted up the covers on your side and climbed in. There was about half a metre between the two of you, thank the heavens. Still, you couldn’t stop being horribly aware that if you reached out right now you would be able to touch him.

Part of you was tempted to. Was tempted to cross that line, I mean who knows when another opportunity would arise and you’d already had Spock calculate that there was a 52.7 per cent chance he liked you like that. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t risk the other 47.3 per cent chance of losing your friend. And so you’d lie there, back to him, in his shirt and his sheets letting sleep take you away. 

You had been right though. You went to sleep almost straight away, something Leonard was both impressed and disappointed by. He didn’t spend much time reading once you were out. Too busy casting you a cautious glance every couple of seconds just to make sure you were still there.

Something about having you asleep next to him made him ache. Your rhythmic breathing was disturbingly calming and he couldn’t stop himself from realising that this was the first time he’d slept next to a woman in years. God, he mentally cursed himself for that train of thought. You were Starfleet, you were prepared to do the necessary no matter if you were comfortable or not, but this was different. You looked at ease wrapped in his sheets less than arm’s reach away. He figured there had to be a certain amount of trust for you to look so peaceful.

You were one of the few people he really clicked with and he certainly hoped you felt similarly. The two of you really hadn’t had a chance to spend time together for a while and it might not have gone as planned, but he was still glad you’d come over. He wouldn’t admit it but was almost a little grateful for the quarantine. It may be a big ol’ inconvenience for you but he enjoyed didn’t mind this arrangement. That made him feel guilty for not hating it.

But then it was the shirt. Ever so slightly too big, with extra material at the shoulders, it made him hot around the collar so to speak. He felt a tiny bit smug seeing you wearing it.

Feeling worse and worse about where his thoughts were sneaking off too, he set his book down and wriggled down into the bed, careful not to disturb you. He was a bit relieved by the darkness that took over after he hit the switch nearby. You were of course asleep so none the wiser but the red tinge that had settled on his cheeks made him a little self-conscious.

“Night, sweetheart,” he breathed.

You were deliciously warm when you came to. Utterly encompassed by the covers and Leonard. 

Oh. Fuck.

The sudden realisation that you were holding onto the hand on the arm that was draped over your middle made you want to scream. Luckily the self-control you had was in full effect. His chest was pressed flush against your back, one of his ankles hooked around yours. Now you were warm. 

Leonard McCoy was spooning you. Your Leonard McCoy. Tall, dark-haired, sarcastic, Doctor Hot-Ass, Leonard McCoy. This was the stuff of late-night wistful thinking. Oh, Lord, you were in deep. 

Should you wait until he wakes up? No, no, that would be weird. But trying to pry yourself from his muscular arm seemed a little too challenging, not to mention the fact that you sorta didn’t want to leave. If you could stay like that you wouldn’t ever leave.

Then his arm curled around you a little tighter and you stopped breathing. He wiggled a bit and you were certain he was going to wake up. Hearing the tiny gasp he managed to stifle a moment later you realised he was. You waited a second before speaking. 

“Are we both pretending to be asleep now?”

“Not anymore,” he said softly, “‘Morning.” The way he said it made it sound like he’d bitten off a sweetheart at the end.

“Good Morning,” you said, focusing on keeping your breathing steady.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” you said, “I uh…” 

“Yeah?” he said, hanging onto every word.

“Nothing.” Liar.

“Okay.” Every second of silence felt like it was burning you up.

He hadn’t removed his arm yet which you figured was a plus but it also meant you weren’t sure if you could move your hand.

“This okay with you?” he sounded… nervous? That wasn’t a trait you’d ever considered him to possess and hearing it now, like that. Well, shit.

“Yeah.” Your voice felt small, smaller than ever before. “You?”

“You gonna smack me if I say something sarcastic?”

“Never,” you replied, with a small smile.

“Well, then, I gotta say it’s not the worst situation I ever been in.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you said.

“Anything for you sweetheart.”

You twisted to roll to face him, switching the hand you had on his arm to keep it in place. He was so close to you that you couldn’t help but inhale deeply. You decided that he looked well-rested and if everything fell apart at least you could be grateful for that.

“I ever tell you how pretty you are?” he asked, the harshness of his morning drawl made you feel a bit hot.

“Not that I recall, why?” you said, playing along.

“‘Cause you are fuckin’ stunning.”

“When did you become such a flirt, mmm, Doc?”

“When did you join the Enterprise?” he shot back, with a sly smirk. 

“Smooth.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

“We just gonna stay here?” you asked, starting to draw little circles on the back of his hand.

“Why you got somewhere to be?”

“Not for the next-” You lifted your head slightly to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table behind him. “-Thirteen hours.”

“Given I ain’t got nowhere to be I’m just fine staying here,” he said.

“Okay.” 

The suddenness of it hadn’t really hit you yet, the only thing that was in the forefront of your mind was- 

“What do we do now?”

He frowned. “Didn’t we just agree to stay here?

“I mean after the next thirteen hours are over. Is this getting left here or..?” You didn’t dare finish that thought for fear of jinxing it.

“I mean… we should probably figure out what it would actually mean but if it’s alright with you, I’m perfectly okay with it hanging around.” His eyes were gorgeous so up close like this. 

“I really like you, Leonard,” you confessed. He smiled.

“Thought you only went for admirals?”

You smacked his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

“I really like you too if it’s any consolation. And this, being next to you, ain’t half bad,” he said, playing with the fabric of your shirt.

“Don’t tell Jim,” you said, “At least not for a week or something.”

“That smarmy bastard? Wasn’t planning on it,” he reassured you, “I ain’t looking forward to his gleeful ‘I told you so’ smile.”

You laughed. You weren’t particularly fond of the Captain being proved right in most cases but this could very well be an exception.

“I tell you, we’ll be hearing about it in his best man speech,” he continued.

“Best man speech?” you teased, your heart beating fast at the fact he’d just said that. He also seemed to realise the gravity of it and his ears went brilliant red.

“I didn’t mean- like, y’know what I-” he spluttered out.

“It’s okay, Leonard. I don’t… I don’t mind.” Seeing the sincerity on your face had him calming instantly. He leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I do really like you,” he said.

“I really like you too.”

⭑ ⟵ ★ ⟶ ⭑

a/n: not me just now realising i'm a simp for the "both are pining but are oblivious" trope, this shit is sO good hhhhh anyways - hope you enjoyed this! send me some feedback or a suggestion of what you wanna see from me either via my ask box or private messages :))

[lieutenantn]

"both are pining but are oblivious"

is my new favorite trope 💙🔥👀

[batshitbarnes]

it is ELITE and I am obsessed with it

[batshitbarnes]

▬❝ next to you. ❞

summary: after paying Leonard a visit in his quarters the unexpected happens. you're put into a twenty-four-hour quarantine and well... there's only one bed ⟶ {leonard "bones" mccoy x f!reader}

warnings: quarantine (not covid related but just in case), swearing

requested by @karasong !!! thank you so much, I hope you enjoy :)

🌿: "you are worthy of yourself :)"

find more of my work here // masterlist !!!

ONESHOT. ⇾ 4103 WORDS

For the first time in weeks, yours and Leonard’s schedules had aligned. He’d come from a particular uneventful six-hour shift while you’d just spent the last hour and a half trying to scrap some sort of alien saliva off a turbo lift. You could’ve easily conked out moments after your shower but you were determined to spend some much needed time with one of the only people on the starship that didn’t try to make small talk about the gravitational mass of Jupiter’s moons. Leonard had rolled his eyes when he found you already sitting at the table in his quarters when he got there.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” he grumbled. 

“Oh boo,” you said, waving away his ‘greeting’, “you know you’re happy to see me.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.” You might have once taken offence to the lack of humour in his voice but years of knowing him told you it was all just friendly banter.

He walked past you to the counter nearby and put down his PADD and personal med-kit. You swivelled on your chair to look at him. “You and I haven’t had a chance to sit down in ages, what’s new Doctor McCoy?” you asked, “Anything exciting going on?”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “Y’know how it is. Someone gets a cold, then there are twenty of them snivelling and sniffing in my office. Normal broken bits n pieces. Couple o’ concussions, few dislocated shoulders.”

“Boring. I heard the Captain brought a new STI on board from that last planet we visited, you gotta tell me if that’s true?”

He reached into his cupboards for two glasses, propping them up on the counter one by one as he searched for a drink. “Why? You ‘fraid you got it from him?” He looked up at you for a moment with a raised brow. 

You laughed. “Not in a million years. He’s not my type anyway.”

“Oh yeah,” Leonard said, popping the lid out of the scotch he’d found. He refrained from looking at you as he spoke. “Why, what is your type?”

Oh, c’mon, you stupid man. “Oh, I don’t know. Someone important I suppose.”

He chuckled at that, his deep throaty chuckle. “Captain not important enough for you, sweetheart.” You ran your finger along the edge of the table.

“Course not, I only settle for Admirals,” you said, sticking your nose up.

“Right, right,” he said as he brought your two glasses over, sliding into the seat across from you. You wriggled back around so you were facing him again as he took a sip, sighing as he did so.

“Judge me all you want but last I heard you were flirting with alien princesses. Who’s got high standards now, huh?” 

“God, don’t tell me Jim’s been spreading that one,” he groaned. You smiled at him.

“Oh, you bet your ass he has. I do wonder what you said that made her turn blue,” you teased as he put his head in his hands. 

“Jim asked me to flatter her, said it was customary, all I said was she looked nice nuthin’ more.”

“Oh ho ho, really? I heard she got a “positively stunning and majestic” as well as a bit of “most beautiful being you’d ever seen”,” you said, poking him in the arm. A tinge of red flashed into his ears as he waved you off him.

The grumpy old doctor was one of your closest friends on board the Enterprise and off it. Being in his company like this was always so easy. Even in those moments where you caught yourself staring a little too long at his jawline or his toned arms. You’d admitted to yourself (and Uhura) long ago that you’d noticed his attractiveness but it felt wrong to even consider that you thought of him more than just being pretty. He really was a brilliant friend and you didn’t want that to change. Plus all friends had a flirty side to their banter, right?

“What’s it like for you at the moment?” Leonard asked, “Down in engineering.”

“Tiring,” you sighed, “I almost prefer it when something big needs doing. All the basic maintenance has me running all over the ship. Did you know that there are four thousand, two hundred and ninety-four coolant pipes that run off the main compartment? I scanned a hundred and thirty-seven of them before I found the one I needed to fix.”

“Damn.” That pretty much summed it up in your opinion.

“God, I can’t wait for shore leave next month. Haven’t had enough sleep since the last one.”

Leonard frowned. “The hell are you doin’ sitting around here then? You should be asleep right about now.”

“If I did that then I wouldn’t be able to see my favourite blue shirt, would I?”

“Your favourite, huh? What’d Pointy Ears do to piss you off now?” 

Now you were frowning. “Spock?” you laughed in disbelief, “Why would Spock be my favourite?”

“Ain’t the two of you buddies?”

“Yeah, but I like you way more.” It honestly startled you that Leonard didn’t know that. “Everyone knows that, even Spock.”

“Well then,” he said, lifting his glass up again, “Good for me.” 

“What did you think you were to me?” you asked, almost offended that you hadn’t expressed how much you cared properly.

“I dunno,” he said, taking a swig of scotch before looking up at you, “Guess not anyone worth missing sleep for.”

“Seriously?” Maybe you were taking this a bit personally but you felt like you’d failed. He wasn’t your best, best friend but he was definitely way up there; way above almost everyone else on this ship.

“Yeah, ain’t a big deal,” he said brushing it off, “Pleasant surprise in fact.”

You were gonna open your mouth to say something else but your attention was drawn elsewhere when the door to Leonard’s quarters began to flash with a red light and the Captain’s voice suddenly burst over the intercom.

“Apologies for the interruption people, but I must inform you that the Medbay level and the two above and below it are now in a twenty-four-hour quarantine,” Kirk sighed before continuing and you could just imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke, “Ensign Nurzik believed someone had caught a deadly and highly contagious Hirogen virus which has now been identified as what I’m gonna call the Common Cold.”

You dropped your head into your hands. Godammit.

“Unfortunately there is no way to undo the quarantine as maintenance on that system is currently being completed. All individuals currently quarantined in their quarters or other rooms on the levels previously identified will need to report to the bridge as soon as this message is done so we can make sure your work is completed while you’re unavailable. We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Please feel free to contact HR for assistance while you’re confined to your quarters. Kirk out.”

With a click, you were in silence. The door continued to flash red and for a moment you just sat there in shock.

“When we get outta here imma smack that idiot that hit the quarantine button,” Leonard said. You laughed weakly in agreement. 

You couldn’t believe it. You were stuck in here for the next twenty-four hours. A whole day. You had things to do, a nap to take, a monitor to hit with a wrench till it turned on again. This had really thrown a big fat metaphorical spanner in the works.

“Jesus Christ, a common cold,” he continued, “How thick d’ya have to be? 

“Ugh,” you groaned, “This is fucking rich.”

“You didn’t by any chance bring a pack of cards with ya?” he asked. You shook your head.

Of course, your luck was this bad. Not only were you stuck but since you’d invaded his quarters, you were stuck with Leonard. Sure, he might be one of the few people you’d pick to be stranded on a deserted island with but he hadn’t exactly had any say in you sharing his - less than spacious - quarters for the next day. 

“Ya hungry?” he said as he got up, making his way over to the replicator. 

“Not particularly but I could go for some chocolate cake.”

He snorted at that. For a man with award-winning complaining skills, he was far less grumbly than he should be. 

“Comin’ right up.” 

Less than a minute later, he was sliding a plate towards you as he put his own down as well. Grabbing the fork placed beside the slice of cake you chuckled to yourself as you noticed what he had. “Victoria sponge, why am I not surprised?”

“‘Cos you know I got good taste, that’s why,” he said, shoving a forkful into his mouth. 

“Very true.” Digging into your own cake you nodded in agreement. “Very true indeed.” His lips twisted into a slight smile. 

The cake was good. So good that you finished long before Leonard who was savouring every bite. You’d licked your fork clean and were looking at your empty plate in defeat. 

“Self-restraint. That’s what you need,” Leonard said. He still had just under half of his slice left.

“Whatever,” you grumbled, “Just because you eat tiny-ass bites.” He didn’t bother replying, just smiled as he ate.

The familiar sound of a communicator beeping made you look up. Leonard tapped the device on his chest. “McCoy.”

“Hey Bones,” Kirk’s voice said through the device, “Are you in your quarters right now, cause you haven’t reported to the bridge yet and Nurse Chapel tells me you’re not in Med.”

“Shit,” Leonard muttered. You’d both completely forgotten to let anyone know that you were out of action. “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry ‘bout that, Jim. Completely slipped my mind.”

“Well, we got that all sorted out, I’ll leave you to your day of isolation.”

Leonard was about to reply when you smacked the table lightly and pointed at yourself. 

“Oh yeah, wait, uh. Y/N is in here too. Might as well save her from making another call.”

“Is she now?” Funny how perfectly you could imagine the captain’s expression just by his words. “‘Completely slipped my mind’? Really Bones? Sure you weren’t just preoccupied?”

You raised your eyebrows at the man across from you who was clearly avoiding your eyes. “Hilarious, Jim, really. Anything I can do for you, or will that be all?” he asked dryly.

“I mean, I would be very interested to know what Y/N’s doing there, unless of course-”

“Bye Jim.” He closed the call hurriedly. “You’d think they’d have chosen less of a dickhead to captain this place.”

“Hmm,” you agreed, “Dickhead maybe, but I would be very interested to know what he was talking about, or rather why?”

“Ha, ha, ha,” he replied without a shred of humour, “You’re just as bad as him, y’know that?”

“I’m honoured you think so highly of me.”

Rolling his eyes hard, he got up from the table and headed in the direction of the bathroom door. 

“Whatcha doing?” you asked, slightly miffed by his sudden movement.

“Having a shower. Might as well not stew in this uniform if we’re stuck in here.”

“Oh, okay.” You could help but felt a flushed. Leonard McCoy was comfortable having a shower with you alone in his quarters. It wasn’t anything at all, in fact, you figured most anyone else on the ship would be comfortable in the same situation but it was different. Everything was different with him. 

The sound of the shower came through the wall after a moment. He’d gotten undressed real fast, you thought before you caught yourself. Not that it mattered, it was fine, why were you thinking about that?

Slumped forward in your chair you fantasised about that nap you’d been planning on. Oh, to crawl into your own bed and snuggle into the covers and fall asleep. A cosy cocoon of bliss. If you could teleport that’s where you’d be. Head falling down onto your folded forearms you groaned aloud before whispering a soft profanity. For the first time, you felt confident describing yourself as vexed.

“Hey.”

You shot up - and awake you quickly realised - at the hand on your back and the soft greeting. Sleep had really snuck up on you there. 

Leonard stood beside you looking down at you with an amused smile. His dark hair was still damp and his towel was around his neck. He’d traded his uniform for simple pyjamas as well. They looked nice.

“Sorry, I guess I was just-” you started, quickly interrupted by a jaw-splitting yawn.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he said, “But I gotta say a table ain’t the best place to go to sleep.” You hummed at that, feeling a dull ache in your shoulders and neck. “I already changed the sheets so why don’t you go get some shut-eye in an actual bed, huh?”

“What about you then? Where are you gonna sleep?” you asked. You knew Leonard well enough to know despite his near-constant complaining he’d be happy to give up his comfort for someone else - except maybe not Kirk but that was out of spite.

“The floor’s not that bad,” he said with a laugh though you knew he wasn’t joking.

“You seriously think I’m gonna let you sleep on the floor after I came in here uninvited? I didn’t think you were that thick, Dr McCoy,” you said, folding your arms.

“I ain’t tired.” 

“Well, I am and as I just proved this table isn’t that bad so you take your bed and I’ll stay where I am, thank you very much.”

He shook his head. “Can’t let you do that. We both know how hard you’ve been working, you deserve a decent sleep.”

“Guess we’re stuck at a standstill,” you said, putting your hands up.

“Well then, guess we should be mature adults about this.”

“Absolutely,” you agreed, “Paper scissors rock?”

The look he gave you reminded you of a disapproving teacher you’d had at the Academy. “It’s called sharing,” he said, not entertaining your idea for a moment, “I trust you enough not to steal the covers.”

“Oh.”

“Unless that’s gonna make you uncomfortable.” He didn’t seem to have considered that possibility till then.

“Not at all.” Uh oh, that was too quick.

“I’m taking the right side of the bed an’ you can borrow a sleep shirt if you need,” he told you before heading through to his bedroom. It didn’t feel right to go after him instantly so you sat there for a bit, heart beating faster. 

The shirt you were wearing was clean but it wasn't fit for sleeping you knew that. Not breathable enough and the fabric was kinda scratchy if you were honest. However, the thought of borrowing one of Leonard’s shirts gave you a different breathing issue. He said you could borrow it. He said it was fine. It’s just a shirt.

When you walked into his room, Leonard was standing in front of his mirror, pulling a comb through his hair. A single pale blue shirt sat folded on the left corner of the bed.

“Thank you,” you said softly, reaching for it, “Mind if I use the bathroom?”

“Go ahead,” he said, not sparing you a glance, “Use whatever. ‘Cept my toothbrush obviously.” If your stomach wasn’t a whirlpool of nerves you’d have shot back something about ‘your plans being ruined’ but instead, you were willing yourself to chill out.

Once the door to the ensuite had slid shut you shook out the shirt. Just a shirt, just a shirt, you repeated to yourself again and again. Belief was a powerful thing and if you could just persuade yourself that he was your friend being friendly everything would be okay.

Stripping your own to fall on the floor you pulled the sleep shirt on. No matter how rudely anxious you were, you had to admit that this shirt was a hundred times better than yours. The fabric was so soft and in itself made you ready to pass out. It didn’t take you much longer to finish up after using the toilet and quickly swishing around a mouthful of water. You felt a little bad for not brushing twice a day but these were dire times after all.

Leonard was already in bed when you emerged, a book in his hands as he leaned against the headboard, the covers up by his hips, his pillow to the side of him. “Alright with you if I read for a bit,” he asked, looking up at you.

“Nope, go ahead. I’m probably gonna be out as soon as I get comfy,” you said. Trying to be as natural as possible you lifted up the covers on your side and climbed in. There was about half a metre between the two of you, thank the heavens. Still, you couldn’t stop being horribly aware that if you reached out right now you would be able to touch him.

Part of you was tempted to. Was tempted to cross that line, I mean who knows when another opportunity would arise and you’d already had Spock calculate that there was a 52.7 per cent chance he liked you like that. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t risk the other 47.3 per cent chance of losing your friend. And so you’d lie there, back to him, in his shirt and his sheets letting sleep take you away. 

You had been right though. You went to sleep almost straight away, something Leonard was both impressed and disappointed by. He didn’t spend much time reading once you were out. Too busy casting you a cautious glance every couple of seconds just to make sure you were still there.

Something about having you asleep next to him made him ache. Your rhythmic breathing was disturbingly calming and he couldn’t stop himself from realising that this was the first time he’d slept next to a woman in years. God, he mentally cursed himself for that train of thought. You were Starfleet, you were prepared to do the necessary no matter if you were comfortable or not, but this was different. You looked at ease wrapped in his sheets less than arm’s reach away. He figured there had to be a certain amount of trust for you to look so peaceful.

You were one of the few people he really clicked with and he certainly hoped you felt similarly. The two of you really hadn’t had a chance to spend time together for a while and it might not have gone as planned, but he was still glad you’d come over. He wouldn’t admit it but was almost a little grateful for the quarantine. It may be a big ol’ inconvenience for you but he enjoyed didn’t mind this arrangement. That made him feel guilty for not hating it.

But then it was the shirt. Ever so slightly too big, with extra material at the shoulders, it made him hot around the collar so to speak. He felt a tiny bit smug seeing you wearing it.

Feeling worse and worse about where his thoughts were sneaking off too, he set his book down and wriggled down into the bed, careful not to disturb you. He was a bit relieved by the darkness that took over after he hit the switch nearby. You were of course asleep so none the wiser but the red tinge that had settled on his cheeks made him a little self-conscious.

“Night, sweetheart,” he breathed.

You were deliciously warm when you came to. Utterly encompassed by the covers and Leonard. 

Oh. Fuck.

The sudden realisation that you were holding onto the hand on the arm that was draped over your middle made you want to scream. Luckily the self-control you had was in full effect. His chest was pressed flush against your back, one of his ankles hooked around yours. Now you were warm. 

Leonard McCoy was spooning you. Your Leonard McCoy. Tall, dark-haired, sarcastic, Doctor Hot-Ass, Leonard McCoy. This was the stuff of late-night wistful thinking. Oh, Lord, you were in deep. 

Should you wait until he wakes up? No, no, that would be weird. But trying to pry yourself from his muscular arm seemed a little too challenging, not to mention the fact that you sorta didn’t want to leave. If you could stay like that you wouldn’t ever leave.

Then his arm curled around you a little tighter and you stopped breathing. He wiggled a bit and you were certain he was going to wake up. Hearing the tiny gasp he managed to stifle a moment later you realised he was. You waited a second before speaking. 

“Are we both pretending to be asleep now?”

“Not anymore,” he said softly, “‘Morning.” The way he said it made it sound like he’d bitten off a sweetheart at the end.

“Good Morning,” you said, focusing on keeping your breathing steady.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” you said, “I uh…” 

“Yeah?” he said, hanging onto every word.

“Nothing.” Liar.

“Okay.” Every second of silence felt like it was burning you up.

He hadn’t removed his arm yet which you figured was a plus but it also meant you weren’t sure if you could move your hand.

“This okay with you?” he sounded… nervous? That wasn’t a trait you’d ever considered him to possess and hearing it now, like that. Well, shit.

“Yeah.” Your voice felt small, smaller than ever before. “You?”

“You gonna smack me if I say something sarcastic?”

“Never,” you replied, with a small smile.

“Well, then, I gotta say it’s not the worst situation I ever been in.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you said.

“Anything for you sweetheart.”

You twisted to roll to face him, switching the hand you had on his arm to keep it in place. He was so close to you that you couldn’t help but inhale deeply. You decided that he looked well-rested and if everything fell apart at least you could be grateful for that.

“I ever tell you how pretty you are?” he asked, the harshness of his morning drawl made you feel a bit hot.

“Not that I recall, why?” you said, playing along.

“‘Cause you are fuckin’ stunning.”

“When did you become such a flirt, mmm, Doc?”

“When did you join the Enterprise?” he shot back, with a sly smirk. 

“Smooth.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

“We just gonna stay here?” you asked, starting to draw little circles on the back of his hand.

“Why you got somewhere to be?”

“Not for the next-” You lifted your head slightly to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table behind him. “-Thirteen hours.”

“Given I ain’t got nowhere to be I’m just fine staying here,” he said.

“Okay.” 

The suddenness of it hadn’t really hit you yet, the only thing that was in the forefront of your mind was- 

“What do we do now?”

He frowned. “Didn’t we just agree to stay here?

“I mean after the next thirteen hours are over. Is this getting left here or..?” You didn’t dare finish that thought for fear of jinxing it.

“I mean… we should probably figure out what it would actually mean but if it’s alright with you, I’m perfectly okay with it hanging around.” His eyes were gorgeous so up close like this. 

“I really like you, Leonard,” you confessed. He smiled.

“Thought you only went for admirals?”

You smacked his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

“I really like you too if it’s any consolation. And this, being next to you, ain’t half bad,” he said, playing with the fabric of your shirt.

“Don’t tell Jim,” you said, “At least not for a week or something.”

“That smarmy bastard? Wasn’t planning on it,” he reassured you, “I ain’t looking forward to his gleeful ‘I told you so’ smile.”

You laughed. You weren’t particularly fond of the Captain being proved right in most cases but this could very well be an exception.

“I tell you, we’ll be hearing about it in his best man speech,” he continued.

“Best man speech?” you teased, your heart beating fast at the fact he’d just said that. He also seemed to realise the gravity of it and his ears went brilliant red.

“I didn’t mean- like, y’know what I-” he spluttered out.

“It’s okay, Leonard. I don’t… I don’t mind.” Seeing the sincerity on your face had him calming instantly. He leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I do really like you,” he said.

“I really like you too.”

⭑ ⟵ ★ ⟶ ⭑

a/n: not me just now realising i'm a simp for the "both are pining but are oblivious" trope, this shit is sO good hhhhh anyways - hope you enjoyed this! send me some feedback or a suggestion of what you wanna see from me either via my ask box or private messages :))

[karasong]

VIV VIV VIV VIV this is so fantastic!! you’re new to this lil’ segment on my blog but after reading that masterpiece, i think you’ll be seeing a lot more of:

~KARA’S FIC REVIEW~

[in the theme of ✨Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated✨]

where i try to recreate all my emotions, reactions, and thoughts from reading a fic for the first time.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT.

the first thing i must say is how much i adore the banter between leonard and the reader. it’s so natural, so fun. it makes me already feel like life-long (or starfleet-long) friends with him. it just really makes my heart GLAD

also bless your heart for making the reader from engineering. not only does that align with my specific daydream but it’s refreshing to finally be a reader that isn’t a blue shirt (in terms of leonard mccoy x reader fics)

the italic thoughts!!! i love them!!!

pov anytime leonard calls “me” sweetheart:

never wanted to be an alien princess more than when he flirted with one. like yeah i’m actually royalty leonard aha what-

BLUSHING !! LEONARD !! RIGHTS !!

oh i must say too - having the something goes wrong with the enterprise concept i requested to you be a shipwide quarantine is genius. genius i say!!

THE KIRK SEGMENT. THE KIRK SEGMENT!! i heckin’ love hearing the mischievous teasing of one friend to the other - especially when the person in question is right there!! - and everything about that was great. “Sure you weren’t just preoccupied?” HAHA. FANTASTIC!

is it possible to become the physical embodiment of an emoji? because as soon as i read that leonard was going to take a shower (and me completely being on the same wavelength as the reader’s thoughts of oh dear maker above he feels comfortable enough to be naked on the other side of that door while i’m here) i can tell ya i literally looked like this 😳

must assure you that i was disappointed in myself for that one and absolutely not of your brilliant writing

catch me screaming

oh my gosh and how you gave us his inner monologue about that as well???? i might faint.

i wanna 🧍🏻‍♀️ i wanna comb his hair. side thought but very important

If your stomach wasn’t a whirlpool of nerves you’d have shot back something about ‘your plans being ruined’ but instead, you were willing yourself to chill out.

heckin’ love that part.

LEONARD. READING. A. BOOK. IN. BED. BRINGS. OUT. THE. DOMESTIC. HOUSEWIFE. IN. ME. ugHh i wish i was married to this man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now i immediately hit copy when i read the below paragraph because - i don’t know - it just jumped out at me. i think partly because ha ha spock was teasing the reader (in that sort of vulcan assurance kind of way), but also partly because having the reader make this sort of estimate in their head is just the kind of yearning i crave for in fics. so well done for this paragraph!!

...who knows when another opportunity would arise and you’d already had Spock calculate that there was a 52.7 per cent chance he liked you like that. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t risk the other 47.3 per cent chance of losing your friend.

chefs kiss.

AND “...he couldn’t stop himself from realising that this was the first time he’d slept next to a woman in years.” bro my heart hurts

“Night, sweetheart,” he breathed.

NOT TO MENTION my screams when! waking! up! to! leonard’s! arm! draped! over! your! middle! AND CHEST FLUSH TO THE BACK. look i can do it alright - i can act normal when reading a fanfic of my beautiful leonard mccoy at night under my bedsheets (that’s a lie) ........

DOCTOR HOT-ASS. YOU’RE RIGHT.

i mean i could honestly quote the entire finish of this fic because all of that? the way you hear leonard suck a breath in at the realisation of holding the reader. the cautious “Are we both pretending to be asleep now?”. the way he almost says “sweetheart.” the way he’s so nervous, asking if it’s ok. that’s all so brilliant and i love the build-up.

also this is my favourite italic thought by far: “Nothing.” Liar.

“I ever tell you how pretty you are?” he asked, the harshness of his morning drawl made you feel a bit hot.

and oh boy was i right about being in danger because of THIS:

“I tell you, we’ll be hearing about it in his best man speech,” he continued.

I WAS. I WAS FACE-FIRST IN MY PILLOW. I WAS OVER THE MOON. I WAS LIKE THIS IS THE HEIGHT OF LUXURY. everyone STEP ASIDE i have a HUSBAND.

my goodness gracious. i seriously love this fic and you did such a fantastic job of my very sleep deprived request. literally so happy to know that you love leonard too and that you write for him. aaaaAAAAA

thank you for writing this!! i honestly do not mind waiting (and also i did completely forget that i requested this - cheers to my delirious, tired brain for sending you an ask in the first place 🥂) and it’s written so well, the dialogue was absolutely fantastic, and my heart was doing the macarena.

now i am going to reblog this to my other two blogs because i will not be getting over this for a while.

once again THANK YOU, VIV! 💖

[batshitbarnes]

when i tell you this made my entire year. kara you wonderful person gosh darn i am FLOORED. as soon as i was finished reading this review i immediately screamed to my friends abt this cos it was the best thing ever to see. NOT TO MENTION you picked up on all MY favourite moments. and the memes 💀💀💀 i am deceased that was the best thing ever (also i swooned for leonard the entire time i was writing it and to know that someone else feels similarly about that man is so fricking nice). thank you so much for this, i genuinely cannot express how much it means to me so thank you thank you thank ;-;

[batshitbarnes]

omg hello could i please request a leonard mccoy oneshot with fem!reader where something goes wrong with the enterprise whilst the reader is in leonard's room and uh oh they're gonna be stuck there all night and there's only one bed,,,,,,, cute/fluffy or however you'd like to write it. i'm just excited you write for bones! <33

hopefully that makes sense, i'm a little sleep deprived atm lol hope you're having a good day :)

hi hi hi !!! ik it's been ages since you requested but ahhh thank you so much ! i absolutely loved writing for bones and this was such a good concept, i really hope you like what i wrote and pls know i did not mean for it too take this long omg. this was genuinely so much fun and i hope you're having a great day and or night rn :)) thank you again and you'll find it posted here !!!

[batshitbarnes]

▬❝ next to you. ❞

summary: after paying Leonard a visit in his quarters the unexpected happens. you're put into a twenty-four-hour quarantine and well... there's only one bed ⟶ {leonard "bones" mccoy x f!reader}

warnings: quarantine (not covid related but just in case), swearing

requested by @karasong !!! thank you so much, I hope you enjoy :)

🌿: "you are worthy of yourself :)"

find more of my work here // masterlist !!!

ONESHOT. ⇾ 4103 WORDS

For the first time in weeks, yours and Leonard’s schedules had aligned. He’d come from a particular uneventful six-hour shift while you’d just spent the last hour and a half trying to scrap some sort of alien saliva off a turbo lift. You could’ve easily conked out moments after your shower but you were determined to spend some much needed time with one of the only people on the starship that didn’t try to make small talk about the gravitational mass of Jupiter’s moons. Leonard had rolled his eyes when he found you already sitting at the table in his quarters when he got there.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” he grumbled. 

“Oh boo,” you said, waving away his ‘greeting’, “you know you’re happy to see me.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.” You might have once taken offence to the lack of humour in his voice but years of knowing him told you it was all just friendly banter.

He walked past you to the counter nearby and put down his PADD and personal med-kit. You swivelled on your chair to look at him. “You and I haven’t had a chance to sit down in ages, what’s new Doctor McCoy?” you asked, “Anything exciting going on?”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “Y’know how it is. Someone gets a cold, then there are twenty of them snivelling and sniffing in my office. Normal broken bits n pieces. Couple o’ concussions, few dislocated shoulders.”

“Boring. I heard the Captain brought a new STI on board from that last planet we visited, you gotta tell me if that’s true?”

He reached into his cupboards for two glasses, propping them up on the counter one by one as he searched for a drink. “Why? You ‘fraid you got it from him?” He looked up at you for a moment with a raised brow. 

You laughed. “Not in a million years. He’s not my type anyway.”

“Oh yeah,” Leonard said, popping the lid out of the scotch he’d found. He refrained from looking at you as he spoke. “Why, what is your type?”

Oh, c’mon, you stupid man. “Oh, I don’t know. Someone important I suppose.”

He chuckled at that, his deep throaty chuckle. “Captain not important enough for you, sweetheart.” You ran your finger along the edge of the table.

“Course not, I only settle for Admirals,” you said, sticking your nose up.

“Right, right,” he said as he brought your two glasses over, sliding into the seat across from you. You wriggled back around so you were facing him again as he took a sip, sighing as he did so.

“Judge me all you want but last I heard you were flirting with alien princesses. Who’s got high standards now, huh?” 

“God, don’t tell me Jim’s been spreading that one,” he groaned. You smiled at him.

“Oh, you bet your ass he has. I do wonder what you said that made her turn blue,” you teased as he put his head in his hands. 

“Jim asked me to flatter her, said it was customary, all I said was she looked nice nuthin’ more.”

“Oh ho ho, really? I heard she got a “positively stunning and majestic” as well as a bit of “most beautiful being you’d ever seen”,” you said, poking him in the arm. A tinge of red flashed into his ears as he waved you off him.

The grumpy old doctor was one of your closest friends on board the Enterprise and off it. Being in his company like this was always so easy. Even in those moments where you caught yourself staring a little too long at his jawline or his toned arms. You’d admitted to yourself (and Uhura) long ago that you’d noticed his attractiveness but it felt wrong to even consider that you thought of him more than just being pretty. He really was a brilliant friend and you didn’t want that to change. Plus all friends had a flirty side to their banter, right?

“What’s it like for you at the moment?” Leonard asked, “Down in engineering.”

“Tiring,” you sighed, “I almost prefer it when something big needs doing. All the basic maintenance has me running all over the ship. Did you know that there are four thousand, two hundred and ninety-four coolant pipes that run off the main compartment? I scanned a hundred and thirty-seven of them before I found the one I needed to fix.”

“Damn.” That pretty much summed it up in your opinion.

“God, I can’t wait for shore leave next month. Haven’t had enough sleep since the last one.”

Leonard frowned. “The hell are you doin’ sitting around here then? You should be asleep right about now.”

“If I did that then I wouldn’t be able to see my favourite blue shirt, would I?”

“Your favourite, huh? What’d Pointy Ears do to piss you off now?” 

Now you were frowning. “Spock?” you laughed in disbelief, “Why would Spock be my favourite?”

“Ain’t the two of you buddies?”

“Yeah, but I like you way more.” It honestly startled you that Leonard didn’t know that. “Everyone knows that, even Spock.”

“Well then,” he said, lifting his glass up again, “Good for me.” 

“What did you think you were to me?” you asked, almost offended that you hadn’t expressed how much you cared properly.

“I dunno,” he said, taking a swig of scotch before looking up at you, “Guess not anyone worth missing sleep for.”

“Seriously?” Maybe you were taking this a bit personally but you felt like you’d failed. He wasn’t your best, best friend but he was definitely way up there; way above almost everyone else on this ship.

“Yeah, ain’t a big deal,” he said brushing it off, “Pleasant surprise in fact.”

You were gonna open your mouth to say something else but your attention was drawn elsewhere when the door to Leonard’s quarters began to flash with a red light and the Captain’s voice suddenly burst over the intercom.

“Apologies for the interruption people, but I must inform you that the Medbay level and the two above and below it are now in a twenty-four-hour quarantine,” Kirk sighed before continuing and you could just imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke, “Ensign Nurzik believed someone had caught a deadly and highly contagious Hirogen virus which has now been identified as what I’m gonna call the Common Cold.”

You dropped your head into your hands. Godammit.

“Unfortunately there is no way to undo the quarantine as maintenance on that system is currently being completed. All individuals currently quarantined in their quarters or other rooms on the levels previously identified will need to report to the bridge as soon as this message is done so we can make sure your work is completed while you’re unavailable. We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Please feel free to contact HR for assistance while you’re confined to your quarters. Kirk out.”

With a click, you were in silence. The door continued to flash red and for a moment you just sat there in shock.

“When we get outta here imma smack that idiot that hit the quarantine button,” Leonard said. You laughed weakly in agreement. 

You couldn’t believe it. You were stuck in here for the next twenty-four hours. A whole day. You had things to do, a nap to take, a monitor to hit with a wrench till it turned on again. This had really thrown a big fat metaphorical spanner in the works.

“Jesus Christ, a common cold,” he continued, “How thick d’ya have to be? 

“Ugh,” you groaned, “This is fucking rich.”

“You didn’t by any chance bring a pack of cards with ya?” he asked. You shook your head.

Of course, your luck was this bad. Not only were you stuck but since you’d invaded his quarters, you were stuck with Leonard. Sure, he might be one of the few people you’d pick to be stranded on a deserted island with but he hadn’t exactly had any say in you sharing his - less than spacious - quarters for the next day. 

“Ya hungry?” he said as he got up, making his way over to the replicator. 

“Not particularly but I could go for some chocolate cake.”

He snorted at that. For a man with award-winning complaining skills, he was far less grumbly than he should be. 

“Comin’ right up.” 

Less than a minute later, he was sliding a plate towards you as he put his own down as well. Grabbing the fork placed beside the slice of cake you chuckled to yourself as you noticed what he had. “Victoria sponge, why am I not surprised?”

“‘Cos you know I got good taste, that’s why,” he said, shoving a forkful into his mouth. 

“Very true.” Digging into your own cake you nodded in agreement. “Very true indeed.” His lips twisted into a slight smile. 

The cake was good. So good that you finished long before Leonard who was savouring every bite. You’d licked your fork clean and were looking at your empty plate in defeat. 

“Self-restraint. That’s what you need,” Leonard said. He still had just under half of his slice left.

“Whatever,” you grumbled, “Just because you eat tiny-ass bites.” He didn’t bother replying, just smiled as he ate.

The familiar sound of a communicator beeping made you look up. Leonard tapped the device on his chest. “McCoy.”

“Hey Bones,” Kirk’s voice said through the device, “Are you in your quarters right now, cause you haven’t reported to the bridge yet and Nurse Chapel tells me you’re not in Med.”

“Shit,” Leonard muttered. You’d both completely forgotten to let anyone know that you were out of action. “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry ‘bout that, Jim. Completely slipped my mind.”

“Well, we got that all sorted out, I’ll leave you to your day of isolation.”

Leonard was about to reply when you smacked the table lightly and pointed at yourself. 

“Oh yeah, wait, uh. Y/N is in here too. Might as well save her from making another call.”

“Is she now?” Funny how perfectly you could imagine the captain’s expression just by his words. “‘Completely slipped my mind’? Really Bones? Sure you weren’t just preoccupied?”

You raised your eyebrows at the man across from you who was clearly avoiding your eyes. “Hilarious, Jim, really. Anything I can do for you, or will that be all?” he asked dryly.

“I mean, I would be very interested to know what Y/N’s doing there, unless of course-”

“Bye Jim.” He closed the call hurriedly. “You’d think they’d have chosen less of a dickhead to captain this place.”

“Hmm,” you agreed, “Dickhead maybe, but I would be very interested to know what he was talking about, or rather why?”

“Ha, ha, ha,” he replied without a shred of humour, “You’re just as bad as him, y’know that?”

“I’m honoured you think so highly of me.”

Rolling his eyes hard, he got up from the table and headed in the direction of the bathroom door. 

“Whatcha doing?” you asked, slightly miffed by his sudden movement.

“Having a shower. Might as well not stew in this uniform if we’re stuck in here.”

“Oh, okay.” You could help but felt a flushed. Leonard McCoy was comfortable having a shower with you alone in his quarters. It wasn’t anything at all, in fact, you figured most anyone else on the ship would be comfortable in the same situation but it was different. Everything was different with him. 

The sound of the shower came through the wall after a moment. He’d gotten undressed real fast, you thought before you caught yourself. Not that it mattered, it was fine, why were you thinking about that?

Slumped forward in your chair you fantasised about that nap you’d been planning on. Oh, to crawl into your own bed and snuggle into the covers and fall asleep. A cosy cocoon of bliss. If you could teleport that’s where you’d be. Head falling down onto your folded forearms you groaned aloud before whispering a soft profanity. For the first time, you felt confident describing yourself as vexed.

“Hey.”

You shot up - and awake you quickly realised - at the hand on your back and the soft greeting. Sleep had really snuck up on you there. 

Leonard stood beside you looking down at you with an amused smile. His dark hair was still damp and his towel was around his neck. He’d traded his uniform for simple pyjamas as well. They looked nice.

“Sorry, I guess I was just-” you started, quickly interrupted by a jaw-splitting yawn.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he said, “But I gotta say a table ain’t the best place to go to sleep.” You hummed at that, feeling a dull ache in your shoulders and neck. “I already changed the sheets so why don’t you go get some shut-eye in an actual bed, huh?”

“What about you then? Where are you gonna sleep?” you asked. You knew Leonard well enough to know despite his near-constant complaining he’d be happy to give up his comfort for someone else - except maybe not Kirk but that was out of spite.

“The floor’s not that bad,” he said with a laugh though you knew he wasn’t joking.

“You seriously think I’m gonna let you sleep on the floor after I came in here uninvited? I didn’t think you were that thick, Dr McCoy,” you said, folding your arms.

“I ain’t tired.” 

“Well, I am and as I just proved this table isn’t that bad so you take your bed and I’ll stay where I am, thank you very much.”

He shook his head. “Can’t let you do that. We both know how hard you’ve been working, you deserve a decent sleep.”

“Guess we’re stuck at a standstill,” you said, putting your hands up.

“Well then, guess we should be mature adults about this.”

“Absolutely,” you agreed, “Paper scissors rock?”

The look he gave you reminded you of a disapproving teacher you’d had at the Academy. “It’s called sharing,” he said, not entertaining your idea for a moment, “I trust you enough not to steal the covers.”

“Oh.”

“Unless that’s gonna make you uncomfortable.” He didn’t seem to have considered that possibility till then.

“Not at all.” Uh oh, that was too quick.

“I’m taking the right side of the bed an’ you can borrow a sleep shirt if you need,” he told you before heading through to his bedroom. It didn’t feel right to go after him instantly so you sat there for a bit, heart beating faster. 

The shirt you were wearing was clean but it wasn't fit for sleeping you knew that. Not breathable enough and the fabric was kinda scratchy if you were honest. However, the thought of borrowing one of Leonard’s shirts gave you a different breathing issue. He said you could borrow it. He said it was fine. It’s just a shirt.

When you walked into his room, Leonard was standing in front of his mirror, pulling a comb through his hair. A single pale blue shirt sat folded on the left corner of the bed.

“Thank you,” you said softly, reaching for it, “Mind if I use the bathroom?”

“Go ahead,” he said, not sparing you a glance, “Use whatever. ‘Cept my toothbrush obviously.” If your stomach wasn’t a whirlpool of nerves you’d have shot back something about ‘your plans being ruined’ but instead, you were willing yourself to chill out.

Once the door to the ensuite had slid shut you shook out the shirt. Just a shirt, just a shirt, you repeated to yourself again and again. Belief was a powerful thing and if you could just persuade yourself that he was your friend being friendly everything would be okay.

Stripping your own to fall on the floor you pulled the sleep shirt on. No matter how rudely anxious you were, you had to admit that this shirt was a hundred times better than yours. The fabric was so soft and in itself made you ready to pass out. It didn’t take you much longer to finish up after using the toilet and quickly swishing around a mouthful of water. You felt a little bad for not brushing twice a day but these were dire times after all.

Leonard was already in bed when you emerged, a book in his hands as he leaned against the headboard, the covers up by his hips, his pillow to the side of him. “Alright with you if I read for a bit,” he asked, looking up at you.

“Nope, go ahead. I’m probably gonna be out as soon as I get comfy,” you said. Trying to be as natural as possible you lifted up the covers on your side and climbed in. There was about half a metre between the two of you, thank the heavens. Still, you couldn’t stop being horribly aware that if you reached out right now you would be able to touch him.

Part of you was tempted to. Was tempted to cross that line, I mean who knows when another opportunity would arise and you’d already had Spock calculate that there was a 52.7 per cent chance he liked you like that. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t risk the other 47.3 per cent chance of losing your friend. And so you’d lie there, back to him, in his shirt and his sheets letting sleep take you away. 

You had been right though. You went to sleep almost straight away, something Leonard was both impressed and disappointed by. He didn’t spend much time reading once you were out. Too busy casting you a cautious glance every couple of seconds just to make sure you were still there.

Something about having you asleep next to him made him ache. Your rhythmic breathing was disturbingly calming and he couldn’t stop himself from realising that this was the first time he’d slept next to a woman in years. God, he mentally cursed himself for that train of thought. You were Starfleet, you were prepared to do the necessary no matter if you were comfortable or not, but this was different. You looked at ease wrapped in his sheets less than arm’s reach away. He figured there had to be a certain amount of trust for you to look so peaceful.

You were one of the few people he really clicked with and he certainly hoped you felt similarly. The two of you really hadn’t had a chance to spend time together for a while and it might not have gone as planned, but he was still glad you’d come over. He wouldn’t admit it but was almost a little grateful for the quarantine. It may be a big ol’ inconvenience for you but he enjoyed didn’t mind this arrangement. That made him feel guilty for not hating it.

But then it was the shirt. Ever so slightly too big, with extra material at the shoulders, it made him hot around the collar so to speak. He felt a tiny bit smug seeing you wearing it.

Feeling worse and worse about where his thoughts were sneaking off too, he set his book down and wriggled down into the bed, careful not to disturb you. He was a bit relieved by the darkness that took over after he hit the switch nearby. You were of course asleep so none the wiser but the red tinge that had settled on his cheeks made him a little self-conscious.

“Night, sweetheart,” he breathed.

You were deliciously warm when you came to. Utterly encompassed by the covers and Leonard. 

Oh. Fuck.

The sudden realisation that you were holding onto the hand on the arm that was draped over your middle made you want to scream. Luckily the self-control you had was in full effect. His chest was pressed flush against your back, one of his ankles hooked around yours. Now you were warm. 

Leonard McCoy was spooning you. Your Leonard McCoy. Tall, dark-haired, sarcastic, Doctor Hot-Ass, Leonard McCoy. This was the stuff of late-night wistful thinking. Oh, Lord, you were in deep. 

Should you wait until he wakes up? No, no, that would be weird. But trying to pry yourself from his muscular arm seemed a little too challenging, not to mention the fact that you sorta didn’t want to leave. If you could stay like that you wouldn’t ever leave.

Then his arm curled around you a little tighter and you stopped breathing. He wiggled a bit and you were certain he was going to wake up. Hearing the tiny gasp he managed to stifle a moment later you realised he was. You waited a second before speaking. 

“Are we both pretending to be asleep now?”

“Not anymore,” he said softly, “‘Morning.” The way he said it made it sound like he’d bitten off a sweetheart at the end.

“Good Morning,” you said, focusing on keeping your breathing steady.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” you said, “I uh…” 

“Yeah?” he said, hanging onto every word.

“Nothing.” Liar.

“Okay.” Every second of silence felt like it was burning you up.

He hadn’t removed his arm yet which you figured was a plus but it also meant you weren’t sure if you could move your hand.

“This okay with you?” he sounded… nervous? That wasn’t a trait you’d ever considered him to possess and hearing it now, like that. Well, shit.

“Yeah.” Your voice felt small, smaller than ever before. “You?”

“You gonna smack me if I say something sarcastic?”

“Never,” you replied, with a small smile.

“Well, then, I gotta say it’s not the worst situation I ever been in.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you said.

“Anything for you sweetheart.”

You twisted to roll to face him, switching the hand you had on his arm to keep it in place. He was so close to you that you couldn’t help but inhale deeply. You decided that he looked well-rested and if everything fell apart at least you could be grateful for that.

“I ever tell you how pretty you are?” he asked, the harshness of his morning drawl made you feel a bit hot.

“Not that I recall, why?” you said, playing along.

“‘Cause you are fuckin’ stunning.”

“When did you become such a flirt, mmm, Doc?”

“When did you join the Enterprise?” he shot back, with a sly smirk. 

“Smooth.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

“We just gonna stay here?” you asked, starting to draw little circles on the back of his hand.

“Why you got somewhere to be?”

“Not for the next-” You lifted your head slightly to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table behind him. “-Thirteen hours.”

“Given I ain’t got nowhere to be I’m just fine staying here,” he said.

“Okay.” 

The suddenness of it hadn’t really hit you yet, the only thing that was in the forefront of your mind was- 

“What do we do now?”

He frowned. “Didn’t we just agree to stay here?

“I mean after the next thirteen hours are over. Is this getting left here or..?” You didn’t dare finish that thought for fear of jinxing it.

“I mean… we should probably figure out what it would actually mean but if it’s alright with you, I’m perfectly okay with it hanging around.” His eyes were gorgeous so up close like this. 

“I really like you, Leonard,” you confessed. He smiled.

“Thought you only went for admirals?”

You smacked his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

“I really like you too if it’s any consolation. And this, being next to you, ain’t half bad,” he said, playing with the fabric of your shirt.

“Don’t tell Jim,” you said, “At least not for a week or something.”

“That smarmy bastard? Wasn’t planning on it,” he reassured you, “I ain’t looking forward to his gleeful ‘I told you so’ smile.”

You laughed. You weren’t particularly fond of the Captain being proved right in most cases but this could very well be an exception.

“I tell you, we’ll be hearing about it in his best man speech,” he continued.

“Best man speech?” you teased, your heart beating fast at the fact he’d just said that. He also seemed to realise the gravity of it and his ears went brilliant red.

“I didn’t mean- like, y’know what I-” he spluttered out.

“It’s okay, Leonard. I don’t… I don’t mind.” Seeing the sincerity on your face had him calming instantly. He leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I do really like you,” he said.

“I really like you too.”

⭑ ⟵ ★ ⟶ ⭑

a/n: not me just now realising i'm a simp for the "both are pining but are oblivious" trope, this shit is sO good hhhhh anyways - hope you enjoyed this! send me some feedback or a suggestion of what you wanna see from me either via my ask box or private messages :))

[batshitbarnes]

Hey! Could you write something with Morgana Pendragon from BBC Merlin with an oblivious and sunshiny personality fem reader????? I love your writing, and would love to see how you interpret something like this. Thank you for even just reading this 🥰🥰

thank you so much for requesting and ur compliment, it means sm to me <3 i had a great time writing it even if it took ages since I first got this request, it was super cool to explore Morgana and this prompt was so cute, my heart ;-; find it posted here !!!

[batshitbarnes]

▬❝ sweet sunshine. ❞

summary: spending an afternoon picking flowers with Morgana ⟶ {morgana pendragon x f!reader}

warnings: none :))

first time writing for our queen requested by anonymous !!! thank you :)

🌿: "closure is something you give yourself"

find more of my work here // masterlist !!!

ONESHOT. ⇾ 887 WORDS

It was nice to get out of the castle every now and again. The constant movement of people got rather overwhelming and the occasional escape was very welcome. Morgana was aware of her fortune in terms of her status and lifestyle but being the King’s doting ward got tiresome. That’s half of the reason she was so thankful you’d demanded an afternoon in the nearest meadow.

The sound of birds and wind in the trees made for a very welcome change to Camelot’s cacophony. Walking through the knee high grass and flowers Morgana approached you. Crouching down, you’d stopped to pick some columbine. A nice addition to the basket tucked into your left elbow.

“This ought to spruce up dear old Lady Daven’s chambers, I think,” you said, standing as Morgana came to a stop beside you.

“I’m sure she’ll be delighted,” Morgana replied, smiling at you softly. The grin you shot back was the other half of why she was so grateful for this outing.

Back at Camelot the two of you never really got to have any real alone time. Always accompanied by a knight or a pair of handmaidens, it would be months between moments like this one. Now, out here, she revelled in getting a tiny bit of peace with you. You’d gone there with a handful of palace guards for safety, of course, but they stood far away across the field with the horses.

As a nobleman's daughter, yours and Morgana’s worlds collided often, and over the years you’d become quite close. It had started with sneaking out into the city to check out the market, finding common ground in your status and the lack of freedom. Though it wasn’t long before you were dragging her into the library to spend the morning every now and again or she was knocking on your door to join you for your evening meal. The days like today where you could waste time together were the best. But Morgana would never consider them a waste. What second in your company could ever be a waste?

“Ooo, wait this one matches your dress!” you exclaimed, looping your arm through Morgana’s to hurry to a flower a few metres away. You picked it and held it up for her to see. The deep purple of it did indeed match her dress, almost perfectly in fact. The idea that you’d noticed that from a distance made her cheeks redden slightly.

“Here,” you said, dropping your basket carefully, “Let me put it in your hair.”

She was about to protest out of sheer shock but you were very delicately brushing her hair behind her ear and poking the flower’s stalk into position. Morgana could just see the purple petals in her peripheral vision. You beamed at her, very proud of your handiwork.

“It’s only enhanced how pretty you looked already, My Lady.” Her heart always pounded a bit faster when you called her that.

She was convinced you had no clue how you made her feel and that managed to make it worse. You were clueless to the way she looked at you, the way she lit up when you entered a room. Morgana was strong and brave and resilient and hopelessly into you. She prized your affection more than water and the more she received the more addicted she was. Every time you grabbed her hand or pulled her into an embrace she prayed that she hadn’t died and gone to heaven. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t tried telling you how she felt. At some point or another she’d decided to start sending out hints, subtle at first but then more obvious as they went unnoticed. It seemed like the only thing left to do was literally spell it out for you and yet you still didn’t know.

“I don’t think there are enough flowers in the world to measure up to your beauty,” she replied. She noticed how you blinked a bit faster and how you swallowed quickly but chalked it up to a coincidence.

“Oh please,” you said, “Carry on down that road and my head’ll grow to be bigger than the crown prince’s.” That made Morgana laugh - a sound you’d die to hear.

“Impossible, impossible. That will always be the one thing Arthur will have you beat on.”

“One thing? I don’t you’ve ever seen me near a sword. I’d suggest he’s better than quite a few more things.”

“Oh, pish. I can teach you how to fight and you’ll be besting Arthur in no time,” she replied, looking across the grass with her free hand up to shield her from the sun.

You stopped where you stood, halting her as well given you were still connected. “You’d teach me to fight?”

“Of course, we could even get you your own sword.”

“Ha, I’m sure I’ll be a terrible student but I suppose it would be worth it to be taught by you, ‘Gana.”

“You wouldn’t be terrible and even if you are that just means more time spent together.” Please take the hint. Please. Please. Please.

“True. Okay then, if you’ll have me I’d be honoured.”

“Happily, my sweet sunshine,” she said affectionately. If only Morgana knew how being called that made you feel.

If only she knew how you looked at her.

⭑ ⟵ ★ ⟶ ⭑

a/n: this may have taken a while but it's finally here! hope you enjoyed this! send me some feedback or a suggestion of what you wanna see from me either via my ask box or private messages :))

[foreverforeverhs]

some of you, upon looking at my tumblr, may assume that my only personality trait is loving ben barnes. and yes, yes you are correct

[batshitbarnes]

▬❝ sneak. ❞

summary: it's not about control or power for Billy, he just wants to trust you and know you better⟶ {billy russo x f!reader}

warnings: stalker-ish behaviour, breaking and entering, manipulation, overall toxic creepiness, vague mentions of sexual relationship (no detail)

🌿: "you are worth of love and respect, especially from yourself xx"

find more of my work here // masterlist !!!

ONESHOT. ⇾ 1417 WORDS

Billy knew it wasn’t right but he didn’t exactly have the greatest track record. He told himself it was just a precaution. A necessary precaution to a healthy relationship, not that that’s what the two of you had. His moral compass might be a bit battered but Billy was smart. He’d been hurt in the past and had learnt. Learnt that you can never be too careful when it comes down to the small details.

The lock clicked open before him and he snapped his head around to make sure there was no one nearby. He’d already confirmed there wouldn’t be but he knew better than to be wholly confident. Removing his pick, the door fell open with a distinct creak making him cringe lightly. Stepping into the room with as little noise as possible he closed the door behind himself. Reaching out with a gloved hand he flicked the light switch on.

The room illuminated itself and the only word Billy could think to describe it as was quaint. It was small, much smaller than his living room, and it had two odd armchairs. Both looked second-hand. Interesting. In the centre of the room atop a positively hideous old-fashioned rug was a glass coffee table. The only thing in the room he could truly appreciate. It wasn’t that you had bad taste, just seemingly a lack of it.

Careful to not move anything too much he hovered over the table bending down to look at the notepad thrown there beside a women’s magazine. A phone number he didn’t recognise was scrawled onto the exposed page. Fishing out his phone he took a photo, he’d look into it later. He’d already been through your phone the last time you’d spent the night at a hotel. Just judging by the decor he figured he’d already found a possible reason why you hadn’t invited him back to your place.

It was honestly strange how uncoordinated your apartment was in contrast to your clothing. Every time he’d seen you, you’d looked like you’d dropped straight outta a fashion magazine (much like the one he’d just seen on your table he thought). Not to mention, he’d never even seen you not wearing a matching set.

Making his way into the kitchen, flashlight shining ahead of him, he moved to the cupboards. Opening them and every drawer, he methodically searched for anything suspicious. Coming up clear he felt no relief. There were plenty of other places a person could hide something in a place like this. You had a regular assortment of glassware, crockery and cutlery. The modern countertop and appliances make your armchairs stick out even more. Why he was getting so stuck on it he wasn’t sure but he knew well enough to trust his instincts.

Shutting the final drawer he gave the room one final sweep before opening the door into your bedroom. A king-sized bed was against the left wall with a desk opposite it. You obviously weren’t lacking the space to let him stay over then, he thought. Getting down on the floor he flicked up the edge of your duvet to check under the bed. Nothing. No box of mementos, no stray socks, not even a hair tie. It wasn’t exactly a turn on but knowing you had a certain level of cleanliness made him all the more interested in you.

Returning to his feet he did a quick search of your pillows, again nothing. Then he moved to your desk. The drawer in it would hopefully give him something. Nobody was without guilty pleasures or secrets and finding neither only meant they were well hidden.

Opening it softly, he was pleased to find a decent collection of receipts, papers and a handful of notebooks. Sifting through them he frowned. The receipts were all ordinary things, the grocery store, a video for hire, drinks at a local bar. The papers were all work emails from your office job and basic documents and forms. Nothing personal to his irritation. It honestly seemed that you were nothing but an empty shell judging by your desk. Flipping through the notebooks he found ‘to do’ lists and maths equations. Until the last one.

A simple brown cover with a piece of elastic around it keeping it together. The date in the top right hand corner of the first page along with the ‘I’ statement immediately alerted him to the fact that this was a diary or journal of some kind. The first entry was you complaining about some bitch named Clarence; whoever that was. Flicking through, his eyes picking up the occasional detail about the latest piece of shit inconveniencing you or the day you spent at the park, he found himself at the current month. So far there was nothing incriminating or suspicious even if what he was reading was highly personal and no doubt things you’d intended to take to your grave.

Then there it was. His name. Now that was interesting. You’d written about him. Reading with his full attention now he felt lighter with every sentence. The way you described him it was a fucking ego boost. Even to yourself you were raving about how gorgeous and strong and intimidating he was. His smooth sauve attitude, the way he walked his confidence. Shit it made him feel some type of way to know this was how you thought of him. Oh, this was priceless. They were nothing more than casual lovers but the words you’d put together told him a different want.

‘There was this moment, in the middle of the night, I’d gotten up to get some water and when I came back he wrapped his arms around me like he’d never let go if he could and I’ve never felt safer.’

Looking up from the page he suddenly realised what he could do with this information. Anyone else would’ve thought it sick and twisted what he was about to do but not Billy. No, no, he saw your words and realised with soothing calmness that you wanted him. You didn’t even really know him and you wanted him.

His phone rang a couple of times before he heard your familiar, “Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, clearing his throat as he moved into your bathroom to stare at himself in the mirror, “Just wanted to call and uh, see how you’re doing.”

“Well, I’m at work.” He wouldn’t be in your apartment if you weren’t. “So I’m okay I guess. Can I help you with something? Did you lose something?” you asked.

“Nah, nothing like that, I just…” he paused for a moment scratching at his stubble, “... wanted to hear your voice, I guess.”

“Really?’ You sounded genuinely surprised and he grinned to himself. “That’s sweet of you, did something… happen?”

Look at you being all caring. “I uh, I just got back from a tough mission, high risk target that sorta deal, y’know,” he said. He opened one of your bathroom cupboards, dropping down into a squat to analyse their contents. “One of those days.”

“Oh god, are you alright? Are you hurt?” The concern in your voice made him feel all warm inside.

“No, no, I’m alright, just tired,” he continued, “I’m gonna turn in for the night but I just wanted to say hi. Sorry if I interrupted anything, I’ll let you get back to your work now.”

“That’s okay, Billy,” you said softly, “Nice to hear from you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” he chuckled, “Have a nice night. I’ll talk to you another time.”

“Yeah, talk to you later.” You paused and he could very well imagine you hesitating before you continued. “Sleep well.”

“Thanks. See-ya.”

“Bye, Billy.”

Taking the phone away from his ear he hit the end button and let out a sigh. One phone call, all it took, just one phone call and you were as good as at his beck and call.

He snapped a quick photo of the diary entries about him for later before making sure things were back where he’d found them. There could be no trace that he’d ever been there because if you ever found out he was screwed, till then this little visit had been highly beneficial.

Just as he was reaching for the door handle to leave his phone vibrated slightly in his pocket. Pulling it out again he smiled at the message on the screen.

Night night, Billy. Stay safe. Sweet dreams xx

⭑ ⟵ ★ ⟶ ⭑

a/n: just finished season 1 of the punisher oh lord billy is a terrible person i am going to h3ll for this shit. he's too hot for my own good i mean serious stop casting ben barnes as manipulative assholes he's too good at it. i've been reading billy fanfic for months tho lmao, i am goneeeee - hope you enjoyed this :))

[carpe-katta]

Omggg manipulative, toxic Billy at his finest 😍 he might think he has the upper hand now but what if he's the one who falls harder in the future 👀

[batshitbarnes]

wait but like... what if? 👀👀👀

[batshitbarnes]

▬❝ forever. ❞

summary: time has taken it's toll on you and even though Aleksander is closer than ever in securing your future every minute only deepens the the wound ⟶ {the darkling x f!reader}

warnings: mild swearing, manipulation

i have serious ben barnes brainrot atm god damn

🌿: "be proud of yourself, for all the big and little things :))"

find more of my work here // masterlist !!!

ONESHOT. ⇾ 3280 WORDS

Aleksander had hundreds of secrets. Time and shadow helped him keep them. Layer upon layer they built up, even he had the lost knowledge of some. Some were too treacherous to name, others so long ignored they could never be shared, but some were burning, hot and heavy. Those ones crushed him with their weight, they chased him and scorched his heels as he ran from them. But then there was you. The worst secret. The hardest to keep.

You were the secret he held closest to his heart. The centuries had passed not quick enough and every waking moment some part of his mind begged him to spill you. He’d long been waiting for a victory, the victory, where he could finally tell the world about you. Soon, so soon, he thought.

“Everyone looks so nice,” Alina whispered as she clung to his arm. Smiling down at her, Aleksander reassured himself that his patience would be rewarded. The Sun Summoner was growing stronger by the day and he had faith that the Stag would be found any day now. Then he’d have his happy ending. He’d have you.

“It’s a special occasion,” he said, leading her through the throng of people in the wide corridor, “Not everyday they get to see my Sun Summoner at work.” If not for what she’d help him accomplish he might have felt bad as she blushed. Something so simple as a ‘my’ had her falling harder and harder for him. How unfortunate that she was only means to an end.

“Oh, look at Genya.” He looked up to see the redhead across the room. Alina waved at her and received one in return. The Tailor did look beautiful but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. Not to mention her beauty secrets weren’t exactly well kept. “And Y/N, over there with Fedyor.”

Now that got his attention. No matter how good at self-control he got, Aleksander still snapped his head around at any mention of you. You indeed stood beside the Heartrender. The two of you laughed and a stab of regret and anger stabbed at Aleksander’s insides. And you did look good. Very good.

“They both look lovely,” he breathed. Alina’s hand felt like pure sin on his arm at that moment. “Though you look divine, Miss Starkov.”

“Thank you,” she said, “You look very handsome.”

He smiled at that, tearing his eyes off you and back to her. He’d not come this far for everything to be in vain. He would not be a victim of simple lust.

Leading Alina around the party, he grew numb to the pleasantries he exchanged with visiting nobles and officials. There’d be none of this domestic nonsense when Ravka was under his rule. Alina seemed perfectly happy to chatter with everyone. Clearly, she was enjoying this new influx of attention.

She didn’t notice how the non-grisha looked down on her or patronised her in every second sentence. Every interaction was filled with arrogance and the way they condescended her made his blood boil. How they think themselves better than her, she was a God compared to them and for them to see her as a pawn, another mindless soldier, was insulting on so many levels. He had been minimised and belittled by non-grisha with faux power for centuries and the longer he tolerated it, the more he had to fight his desire to lash out.

“Watch yourself, Inferni scum!” Both Aleksander and Alina turned at the loud exclamation. Across the room a woman in a beautifully hand stitched gown was standing before you. The glass in her hand was now almost fully empty with the rest of its contents splashed down the front of her gown.

“While I apologise for not seeing you, it was you who bumped into me,” you replied coldly, “Might I suggest you watch yourself next time.”

“Lies,” the woman hissed, “it must be a common trait for you hotheaded fools. My brother was assaulted by one of you and that liar spun the same story. How dare you blame me? Dirty witch.” Everyone in the nearby vicinity quietened, the Grisha amongst them stiffening in discomfort and anger. What had previously been a polite (but reluctant) smile on your face fell into a look of disgust.

“If he’s anything like you, maybe he deserved it,” you snarled back. There was no gasp of horror from the woman, no withdrawal.

“I am the King’s guest here you pathetic, arrogant wench, talk to me like that again and I’ll make sure he has your head.” If he knew it wouldn’t have blown everything up he cared about, Aleksander would’ve had that woman’s tongue in an instant. He wasn’t entirely sure when he’d left Alina’s side but he made his way over to you with great haste.

“I’m not even a little afraid of you, you old hag.”

“Y/N,” Aleksander hissed once he was beside the two of you, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” He could hear the fury in his own voice but he didn’t care at all. You looked up at him and blanched. Guilt spread across your features instantly and you only held his deadly stare for a second before looking down in shame.

Pushing the anger down, he turned to the other woman. “I would like to apologise in every way I can for my soldier’s behaviour and language. You are His Royal Highness’ guest and the disrespect you have been shown is unforgivable. I promise this will never happen again and there will be consequences.” He turned to you as he spoke then, making sure you’d heard him clearly. “The Second Army is not represented by this behaviour and this individual's actions are not and never will be tolerated.”

Whether it was his words or simply his natural intimidation, the lady opposite you simply stuck her nose up before waving him away. Taking the moment before it ended, Aleksander grabbed you by the elbow and began dragging you towards the nearest exit. As he did he looked up, catching Alina’s eyes who looked highly concerned. He did his best to offer her a reassuring look before pulling you down the closest off-shooting corridor.

The moment you were out of earshot of anyone you pulled your elbow out of his grip as he snarled in your ear; “War room, now.” It didn’t take long to get there but every step had the rage spreading further through him.

He hadn’t even shut the door fully before you started at him. “What do you even want me to say? Sorry for standing up for myself? Or sorry for embarrassing you?”

When the lock clicked shut behind him, he turned, fists clenched. You stood over by the large planning table in a defensive stance. Arms folded, chin held up high so you looked at him down your nose, feet shoulder width apart.

“I want you to apologise for drawing attention to yourself.” His anger made his hands shake but his words remained just as steady. “I want you to be sorry for getting yourself into unnecessary conflict.”

“I didn’t do anything,” you exclaimed, clearly offended by his assertion that you were to blame, “That woman bumped into me. Not my problem she doesn’t like Inferni.”

“You could have apologised and kept your mouth shut,” he said, “You could’ve diffused the situation and kept your head down!”

“Clearly I don’t need to when you’re there to do it for me,” you sneered back bitterly.

“I wouldn’t have needed to if you hadn’t escalated the situation. Instead I look like a fool because of you,” he snapped. God, you were being so infuriating right now he had no idea how to get through to you.

You laughed. “So it is about me embarrassing you? That’s rich,” you said, arms falling to your sides, “Fine. Whatever. I’m sorry I didn’t want to just bend over and let some tasteless bitch walk over me and that I made you look bad. Truly, I am. I should’ve thought about how much it would affect your precious reputation before I opened my fat mouth.”

“Exactly!” he shouted. How were you not seeing this, not seeing the bigger picture? “You should have because my reputation is the only reason either of us is still alive to have this conversation right now!”

“This isn’t a conversation, this is just you telling me how wrong I am.”

“For good reason,” he snapped, “One wrong move and we lose everything, don’t you understand that?”

“I understand that being the King’s lap dog is hard on you but forcing me down to your level isn’t going to make you feel better.”

“It’s not…” He ran his hands down his face as he groaned in frustration. “It’s not about that. You know it isn’t about that. I am keeping this facade together so that you and I can have a future together. What part of that do you not understand?”

“The part where you don’t even spare me a second glance anymore,” you confessed softly. He frowned, not from anger or hurt but confusion. You paused for a moment before continuing. “You used to never be able to take your eyes off me, you used to drink in the sight of me every chance you got and now there’s nothing. Not even the occasional moment of eye contact.”

“That’s not true.”

“But it is.” Your eyes started to glisten with water and he so desperately wanted to run over and kiss your every ache and worry away. “It’s like you avoid looking at me. At first I thought it might be because it was so hard to look at something you can’t have but.. I don’t think it’s that at all.”

“Then what do you think it is, hmm?” He didn’t want it to come out so cruelly but he couldn’t help it. You were questioning him, his love, his commitment. His reaction was only natural.

“I think it's shame. I think you’re too ashamed to look me in the eye.”

He didn’t even try to stop the incredulous expression appear on his face.

“Don’t give me that look,” you continued, “I think whatever sick, twisted game you are playing with her makes you ashamed to look at me. I don’t know what you think you feel for her but I think you hate me a little bit for it.”

Aleksander smiled. Of course. You were jealous of Alina. He didn’t blame you, she was a pretty, young, powerful woman but did you really think he’d choose her over you?

“Oh, my love,” he breathed, pleased to have found the root of the issue, “if our young Sun Summoner has been on your mind, all you had to do was ask and I would have gladly reassured you that no one, especially not her, will ever topple your throne in my heart.”

“It’s not about Alina,” you said exasperated at how he wasn’t understanding, “it’s about… it’s about you and me and how this is our longest conversation in two years.” That he regretted. That hurt. He wanted to spend every waking moment by your side and to have it limited so drastically was criminal.

“We can’t afford that risk,” he admitted with great disappointment, “I will not put our entire future in the hands of anyone else for the sake of a few moments of honesty.”

“But you’ll put it in the hands of a teenager based on what? Faith?”

“Alina is nothing more than a pawn.”

“Yet you look at her like she is everything!” You were bitter and angry but he felt no guilt.

“I look at her like a man dying of thirst looks at water,” he bit back, “she may yet be our saviour but do not make the mistake of thinking she is my salvation.”

That shut you up. Instead of responding you turned away, blinking quickly in an attempt to stop yourself from crying. Aleksander let out a breath, his shoulders slumping. He turned his head away to stare without interest at a map nearby. Looking at you felt like a slap to the face.

“I’m just so tired of it, Aleks,” you whispered hoarsely, “I’m so tired. Of waiting, of pretending. Of… of acting like everything’s fine.”

“Then we must both be glad it is coming to an end.”

“What if it isn’t?” you asked, looking at him with a frown, “What if you fail? What if Alina fails? What if you don’t find the Stag? How long am I supposed to wait, Aleksander?”

Forever if you have to.

He doesn’t say it, can’t, wouldn’t dare. You’d never forgive him if he did, that he’s sure of.

“We won’t fail. The Stag will be found soon enough and then our wait is over,” he said coolly, allowing out a bit of his own anger at the situation. It wasn’t just you suffering, why wouldn’t you see that? You think he wanted to parade Alina around like a saint as if she could ever measure up to you?

He’d made just as many sacrifices as you had. But, if it gave you piece of mind to blame him then so be it. You could hate him right now for all he cared because once the dust cleared he’d be right beside you just as promised. He would be all you'd have and you’d be more than grateful for him.

“But I can’t even talk to you without putting our lives in jeopardy, that’s not okay and I can’t keep living like this,” you said.

“We don’t have a choice anymore.”

“But… but I don’t even know you, Aleks. And I have a feeling you don’t know me a fraction as well as you used to.”

Now that was simply incorrect. It might not have included the countless afternoons snooping through your room while you were out training or the asking his most trusted soldiers about who your friends were and what you’d been talking about recently but he did everything in his power shy of following you around in an attempt to stay connected to you. It may seem an abuse of power to some but in the scheme of things he figured it was more respectful and thoughtful than picking on you for the sake of any interaction.

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t change anything,” he said, wringing his right hand out.

“Doesn’t it?” You asked, “Because… this doesn’t feel like love anymore.”

That was a blow right to his heart. He hadn’t moved much at all during the conversation but now he came right up to you. Reaching out with both of his hands he cupped your cheeks gently. You looked up at him and after one slow blink the tears began down your face only to be wiped away by his thumbs.

“Why are you fighting so hard for this to be over?” he asked softly, leaning down to rest his forehead on yours, your noses touching slightly.

“Because we’ve been fighting time and losing,” you breathed, “And I’ve been holding on so tight I can’t let go on my own. But if you don’t… I think it’s gonna kill me, Aleksander.”

Shutting his eyes tight, he took a deep breath. Moving slowly he pressed a kiss to your cheek and then one to your forehead before bringing you to his chest and wrapping his arms around you.

“We can’t lose forever,” he whispered. Aleksander was never going to stop until he won. He would take what he deserved by any means necessary and he was prepared to be patient. But he would not lose you. He refused. “You are everything and I know you are exhausted so let me do this for us, let me make Ravka ours. I just need the Stag and then I am yours for all eternity. No King, no biting your tongue, no Sun Summoner, no holding on for your life. Just you and I.”

“Promise?” you asked, reaching forward to grab the front of his kefta for stability, your face still pressed against his chest as he held you. You felt much safer than you had in years there in his hold.

“I promise. On every moment from now until the end of time.” He lifted you away from you so he could hold you at arms reach. Your tears had dried on your cheeks and while your eyes still held their pain the anger in these had dissipated. You held his gaze for the longest minute of his life. Once it was over he reached up to hold your neck in his hands and pulled you back to him, only this time once you were close enough he bent down and kissed you.

It had been so long since that had last happened and you couldn’t help how you immediately pulled him by the kefta closer, desperate for the intimacy the last century had been lacking. He still smelt the same, tasted the same. Earth and pine needles and magic, the kind that you felt in your soul. Even if you forgot everything else about him you were sure that scent would last longer than eternity.

He was so deprived of you that every sense of decency and intelligence left him momentarily and he was kissing you hard and fast and with enthusiasm reserved only for you. Who knew when he’d next get the chance to have you all to himself like this so he’d be damned if he was going to waste it. He couldn’t help himself and he grabbed at your legs to lift you up only to have you pull away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, trying not to be annoyed that you’d interrupted the moment. You looked defeated, out of breath as well but you’d deflated more than before.

“Nothing,” you whispered sadly, “Nothing's wrong, I just- you should get back to the party or someone’s going to come looking for you.”

He looked at you curiously before sighing in resignation. “Of course, you’re right.”

“Gotta keep up appearances, right?”

He nodded. “I love you,” he said briefly, knowing you knew how much there was to back that statement up.

“I love you too,” you said, reaching out to fix his collar a bit and smooth the crinkles where you’d been gripping his kefta. He took your hands in his one last time before he left you there. He pressed a kiss to each knuckle before lowering them to your sides gently.

“Do not fret, sweet one, good things come to those who wait.”

And then he was slipping back out the now unlocked door. Back to the party to make nice as the hours ticked by and forever began again. Knowing better than to return after him you figured you’d head to bed after a nice hot bath. But for a few minutes you just stood in the room, content to be in his space a while longer.

Then came a knock at the door. Not wanting to seem suspicious you answered. “General Kirigan isn’t here right now.”

The door opened to reveal two men - clearly non-grisha. Their First Army uniforms looked worse for wear and the younger one of them looked properly tired.

“Are you here to see the General too?” the older man asked.

You shook your head. “No, I was just leaving him something.” Holding up a nearby envelope you pretended you’d just dropped it off.

“Right,” the man replied, “If it’s not too much trouble and you see him soon, would you be so kind as to tell him this tracker here’s found his Stag.”

⭑ ⟵ ★ ⟶ ⭑

a/n: i really thought writing something ben barnes would help get him outta my brain it did notttttt ;-; hope you enjoyed this! send me some feedback or a suggestion of what you wanna see from me either via my ask box or private messages :))

[s-r-reads]

I ABSOLUTELY loved this one there's so much longing between these two it melted my heart, you wrote them so well!!

[batshitbarnes]

actually crying 😭 thank you so much!

[libraryofloveletters]

Hi hi congrats on 2.1k!! Can I request prompt #27 “who do I need to hurt?” with Billy Russo? Thank you for celebrating with us!!🎉🎉

thank you for being here!! means a lot to me 💕

celebration post // prompt 27: “who do I need to hurt?”

----

The house was quiet, the only sounds coming from inside your head- the little voices bringing up all the horrible things you’ve been through as you laid in bed. Billy was home but he was downstairs in his office going over some stuff for Anvil. You knew when he got up but he just assumed you were sleeping seeing that you didn’t react when he kissed your head. 

The memories go back as far as high school. Freshmen year and the girls are horrendous, mean and unwelcoming to you. They treated you like an outsider for all 4 years. Things did get sort of better in college but only for a bit then it was back to the same shit. 

Instead of letting the tears fall, you push away the feelings and pull yourself out of bed. Quietly making your way to the kitchen, you pour yourself a glass of water. The clock on the wall read 2:47am as you leant against the counter. You can hear Billy typing away in his office through the opened door. This sudden wave of sadness washes over you, the tears that were once threatening to fall have now spilled down your cheeks. 

It wasn't until he heard the sniffling that he realized that you were awake and downstairs. Billy got up, making his way to the kitchen to see you wiping away tears. “Honey?” he calls, causing you to look up. Your eyes were red and puffy, your hair a mess for rolling around in bed and his t-shirt hanging off your body. You looked so small and fragile and he hated it - the y/n he knew was loud and happy, bold and loving. Something was wrong. 

“Baby, what’s wrong? Who do I need to hurt?” he asks, hands cupping your cheeks as his eyes study your face. You shake your head, your hand wrapping around one of his wrists as you nuzzle into the palm of his warm hand. “It’s nothing. I'm fine, Billy” you give him a soft smile. Instead of prying, Billy pulls you in for a hug, wrapping his arms around you before kissing the top of your head. 

[batshitbarnes]

so sweet

[folklorelupin-deactivated202211]

𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐦 (𝐬.𝐛)

pairing: marauders era!sirius black x fem!ravenclaw!reader; slight bit of marauders era! remus lupin x reader; wolfstar (this is not a love triangle though, do not worry)

description: at the dawn of the first wizarding war, y/n finds herself obsessed with sirius black, and must balance her future plans and established beliefs and morals with the toxic love budding between herself and the famed marauder, as the world crashes down around them.

in other words: an obsessive interest is sparked between y/n and sirius black, creating a passionate, though toxic love story.

word count: 28.2k

warnings: strong language, heavy cigarette & alcohol use, toxic relationship, a little bit on the more risque side (no full fledged smut), SO MUCH SELF-LOATHING, mentions of stalking, allusions to domestic abuse (the domestic abuse references are absolutely not in relation to y/n and sirius’s relationship, i would never ever EVER write something like that), she/her pronouns used for y/n, strong themes of nihilism, religious themes, gore (y/n just very vividly describes certain scenarios), mentions of suicide, war, death, quite a bit of weed, codependency, vomit/nausea mentions, just generally pretty dark in tone. i feel like this is just one massive existential crisis. also, likely some american terminology i accidentally let slip, and i apologize for that.

a/n: this is my first time ever writing a fic this long, so my apologies if this kind of sucks, i promise i’ll get better over time!! also, this is just a generally dark, depressing fic, i will not lie. please be cautious. please, PLEASE be aware that i am writing them both as flawed people. also, i am very sorry about how long this is, i truly do not know why or how i ended up writing this much. it doesn’t have a very fulfilling ending, and i’m sorry about that.

a/n CONTINUED god i never stop talking: i went way too in depth with this lol. i’ll definitely discuss some of the little things i’ve woven into the story later, but i wanted to have this vibe of reader and sirius having SO MANY escape routes and getaway cars from each other along the way, but them ignoring the possibilities every time.

In the bitter, perhaps 75% complete Autumn breeze, she knew. Sat on the grass, curled up on plaid blue sheets, or taking steps so achingly slow that her heels experienced their own sort of lock-jaw; she knew. Could she have possibly not known? Oh fuck, is her knowledge of any validity? Perhaps any thought revolving around a man should be withheld from being considered anything of substance, but fuck, did she feel something.

Keep reading

[batshitbarnes]

I don’t normally reblog fanfiction on this blog but I am going to make an exception for this post.

This is the most beautiful piece of fanfiction or (honestly) just general writing I might have ever read. The sheer intensity of the emotions it made me feel and the way I couldn’t help but cling to every sentence may never leave me. I adore this with my whole being and it made me cry. The characterisation was so beautiful and deliberate and it made me feel so close to Sirius and Remus and Y/N. The way the story flowed and the consistent use of theme and wordplay and metaphor was brilliant. The dialogue felt so natural and the way it added to the story was phenomenal. I loved this with my whole heart. Every bit of pain and sorrow felt so real and the moments of joy had me grinning.

This was beautiful. It was elegant. This is art and the best art makes you feel something and I’m feeling a lot right now. This piece of work made my day/week/month. I just… I love it.

[batshitbarnes]

i want everyone in the entire world to read this holy shit

[folklorelupin-deactivated202211]

𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐦 (𝐬.𝐛)

pairing: marauders era!sirius black x fem!ravenclaw!reader; slight bit of marauders era! remus lupin x reader; wolfstar (this is not a love triangle though, do not worry)

description: at the dawn of the first wizarding war, y/n finds herself obsessed with sirius black, and must balance her future plans and established beliefs and morals with the toxic love budding between herself and the famed marauder, as the world crashes down around them.

in other words: an obsessive interest is sparked between y/n and sirius black, creating a passionate, though toxic love story.

word count: 28.2k

warnings: strong language, heavy cigarette & alcohol use, toxic relationship, a little bit on the more risque side (no full fledged smut), SO MUCH SELF-LOATHING, mentions of stalking, allusions to domestic abuse (the domestic abuse references are absolutely not in relation to y/n and sirius’s relationship, i would never ever EVER write something like that), she/her pronouns used for y/n, strong themes of nihilism, religious themes, gore (y/n just very vividly describes certain scenarios), mentions of suicide, war, death, quite a bit of weed, codependency, vomit/nausea mentions, just generally pretty dark in tone. i feel like this is just one massive existential crisis. also, likely some american terminology i accidentally let slip, and i apologize for that.

a/n: this is my first time ever writing a fic this long, so my apologies if this kind of sucks, i promise i’ll get better over time!! also, this is just a generally dark, depressing fic, i will not lie. please be cautious. please, PLEASE be aware that i am writing them both as flawed people. also, i am very sorry about how long this is, i truly do not know why or how i ended up writing this much. it doesn’t have a very fulfilling ending, and i’m sorry about that.

a/n CONTINUED god i never stop talking: i went way too in depth with this lol. i’ll definitely discuss some of the little things i’ve woven into the story later, but i wanted to have this vibe of reader and sirius having SO MANY escape routes and getaway cars from each other along the way, but them ignoring the possibilities every time.

In the bitter, perhaps 75% complete Autumn breeze, she knew. Sat on the grass, curled up on plaid blue sheets, or taking steps so achingly slow that her heels experienced their own sort of lock-jaw; she knew. Could she have possibly not known? Oh fuck, is her knowledge of any validity? Perhaps any thought revolving around a man should be withheld from being considered anything of substance, but fuck, did she feel something.

Keep reading

[batshitbarnes]

I don't normally reblog fanfiction on this blog but I am going to make an exception for this post.

This is the most beautiful piece of fanfiction or (honestly) just general writing I might have ever read. The sheer intensity of the emotions it made me feel and the way I couldn't help but cling to every sentence may never leave me. I adore this with my whole being and it made me cry. The characterisation was so beautiful and deliberate and it made me feel so close to Sirius and Remus and Y/N. The way the story flowed and the consistent use of theme and wordplay and metaphor was brilliant. The dialogue felt so natural and the way it added to the story was phenomenal. I loved this with my whole heart. Every bit of pain and sorrow felt so real and the moments of joy had me grinning.

This was beautiful. It was elegant. This is art and the best art makes you feel something and I'm feeling a lot right now. This piece of work made my day/week/month. I just... I love it.

[batshitbarnes]

i am such a fool. i thought writing sum bin bons would help get my brain back on track so i can finish these half-finished requests sitting in my google docs, boy was i wrong 😭 screaming crying

[batshitbarnes]

▬❝ forever. ❞

summary: time has taken it's toll on you and even though Aleksander is closer than ever in securing your future every minute only deepens the the wound ⟶ {the darkling x f!reader}

warnings: mild swearing, manipulation

i have serious ben barnes brainrot atm god damn

🌿: "be proud of yourself, for all the big and little things :))"

find more of my work here // masterlist !!!

ONESHOT. ⇾ 3280 WORDS

Aleksander had hundreds of secrets. Time and shadow helped him keep them. Layer upon layer they built up, even he had the lost knowledge of some. Some were too treacherous to name, others so long ignored they could never be shared, but some were burning, hot and heavy. Those ones crushed him with their weight, they chased him and scorched his heels as he ran from them. But then there was you. The worst secret. The hardest to keep.

You were the secret he held closest to his heart. The centuries had passed not quick enough and every waking moment some part of his mind begged him to spill you. He’d long been waiting for a victory, the victory, where he could finally tell the world about you. Soon, so soon, he thought.

“Everyone looks so nice,” Alina whispered as she clung to his arm. Smiling down at her, Aleksander reassured himself that his patience would be rewarded. The Sun Summoner was growing stronger by the day and he had faith that the Stag would be found any day now. Then he’d have his happy ending. He’d have you.

“It’s a special occasion,” he said, leading her through the throng of people in the wide corridor, “Not everyday they get to see my Sun Summoner at work.” If not for what she’d help him accomplish he might have felt bad as she blushed. Something so simple as a ‘my’ had her falling harder and harder for him. How unfortunate that she was only means to an end.

“Oh, look at Genya.” He looked up to see the redhead across the room. Alina waved at her and received one in return. The Tailor did look beautiful but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. Not to mention her beauty secrets weren’t exactly well kept. “And Y/N, over there with Fedyor.”

Now that got his attention. No matter how good at self-control he got, Aleksander still snapped his head around at any mention of you. You indeed stood beside the Heartrender. The two of you laughed and a stab of regret and anger stabbed at Aleksander’s insides. And you did look good. Very good.

“They both look lovely,” he breathed. Alina’s hand felt like pure sin on his arm at that moment. “Though you look divine, Miss Starkov.”

“Thank you,” she said, “You look very handsome.”

He smiled at that, tearing his eyes off you and back to her. He’d not come this far for everything to be in vain. He would not be a victim of simple lust.

Leading Alina around the party, he grew numb to the pleasantries he exchanged with visiting nobles and officials. There’d be none of this domestic nonsense when Ravka was under his rule. Alina seemed perfectly happy to chatter with everyone. Clearly, she was enjoying this new influx of attention.

She didn’t notice how the non-grisha looked down on her or patronised her in every second sentence. Every interaction was filled with arrogance and the way they condescended her made his blood boil. How they think themselves better than her, she was a God compared to them and for them to see her as a pawn, another mindless soldier, was insulting on so many levels. He had been minimised and belittled by non-grisha with faux power for centuries and the longer he tolerated it, the more he had to fight his desire to lash out.

“Watch yourself, Inferni scum!” Both Aleksander and Alina turned at the loud exclamation. Across the room a woman in a beautifully hand stitched gown was standing before you. The glass in her hand was now almost fully empty with the rest of its contents splashed down the front of her gown.

“While I apologise for not seeing you, it was you who bumped into me,” you replied coldly, “Might I suggest you watch yourself next time.”

“Lies,” the woman hissed, “it must be a common trait for you hotheaded fools. My brother was assaulted by one of you and that liar spun the same story. How dare you blame me? Dirty witch.” Everyone in the nearby vicinity quietened, the Grisha amongst them stiffening in discomfort and anger. What had previously been a polite (but reluctant) smile on your face fell into a look of disgust.

“If he’s anything like you, maybe he deserved it,” you snarled back. There was no gasp of horror from the woman, no withdrawal.

“I am the King’s guest here you pathetic, arrogant wench, talk to me like that again and I’ll make sure he has your head.” If he knew it wouldn’t have blown everything up he cared about, Aleksander would’ve had that woman’s tongue in an instant. He wasn’t entirely sure when he’d left Alina’s side but he made his way over to you with great haste.

“I’m not even a little afraid of you, you old hag.”

“Y/N,” Aleksander hissed once he was beside the two of you, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” He could hear the fury in his own voice but he didn’t care at all. You looked up at him and blanched. Guilt spread across your features instantly and you only held his deadly stare for a second before looking down in shame.

Pushing the anger down, he turned to the other woman. “I would like to apologise in every way I can for my soldier’s behaviour and language. You are His Royal Highness’ guest and the disrespect you have been shown is unforgivable. I promise this will never happen again and there will be consequences.” He turned to you as he spoke then, making sure you’d heard him clearly. “The Second Army is not represented by this behaviour and this individual's actions are not and never will be tolerated.”

Whether it was his words or simply his natural intimidation, the lady opposite you simply stuck her nose up before waving him away. Taking the moment before it ended, Aleksander grabbed you by the elbow and began dragging you towards the nearest exit. As he did he looked up, catching Alina’s eyes who looked highly concerned. He did his best to offer her a reassuring look before pulling you down the closest off-shooting corridor.

The moment you were out of earshot of anyone you pulled your elbow out of his grip as he snarled in your ear; “War room, now.” It didn’t take long to get there but every step had the rage spreading further through him.

He hadn’t even shut the door fully before you started at him. “What do you even want me to say? Sorry for standing up for myself? Or sorry for embarrassing you?”

When the lock clicked shut behind him, he turned, fists clenched. You stood over by the large planning table in a defensive stance. Arms folded, chin held up high so you looked at him down your nose, feet shoulder width apart.

“I want you to apologise for drawing attention to yourself.” His anger made his hands shake but his words remained just as steady. “I want you to be sorry for getting yourself into unnecessary conflict.”

“I didn’t do anything,” you exclaimed, clearly offended by his assertion that you were to blame, “That woman bumped into me. Not my problem she doesn’t like Inferni.”

“You could have apologised and kept your mouth shut,” he said, “You could’ve diffused the situation and kept your head down!”

“Clearly I don’t need to when you’re there to do it for me,” you sneered back bitterly.

“I wouldn’t have needed to if you hadn’t escalated the situation. Instead I look like a fool because of you,” he snapped. God, you were being so infuriating right now he had no idea how to get through to you.

You laughed. “So it is about me embarrassing you? That’s rich,” you said, arms falling to your sides, “Fine. Whatever. I’m sorry I didn’t want to just bend over and let some tasteless bitch walk over me and that I made you look bad. Truly, I am. I should’ve thought about how much it would affect your precious reputation before I opened my fat mouth.”

“Exactly!” he shouted. How were you not seeing this, not seeing the bigger picture? “You should have because my reputation is the only reason either of us is still alive to have this conversation right now!”

“This isn’t a conversation, this is just you telling me how wrong I am.”

“For good reason,” he snapped, “One wrong move and we lose everything, don’t you understand that?”

“I understand that being the King’s lap dog is hard on you but forcing me down to your level isn’t going to make you feel better.”

“It’s not…” He ran his hands down his face as he groaned in frustration. “It’s not about that. You know it isn’t about that. I am keeping this facade together so that you and I can have a future together. What part of that do you not understand?”

“The part where you don’t even spare me a second glance anymore,” you confessed softly. He frowned, not from anger or hurt but confusion. You paused for a moment before continuing. “You used to never be able to take your eyes off me, you used to drink in the sight of me every chance you got and now there’s nothing. Not even the occasional moment of eye contact.”

“That’s not true.”

“But it is.” Your eyes started to glisten with water and he so desperately wanted to run over and kiss your every ache and worry away. “It’s like you avoid looking at me. At first I thought it might be because it was so hard to look at something you can’t have but.. I don’t think it’s that at all.”

“Then what do you think it is, hmm?” He didn’t want it to come out so cruelly but he couldn’t help it. You were questioning him, his love, his commitment. His reaction was only natural.

“I think it's shame. I think you’re too ashamed to look me in the eye.”

He didn’t even try to stop the incredulous expression appear on his face.

“Don’t give me that look,” you continued, “I think whatever sick, twisted game you are playing with her makes you ashamed to look at me. I don’t know what you think you feel for her but I think you hate me a little bit for it.”

Aleksander smiled. Of course. You were jealous of Alina. He didn’t blame you, she was a pretty, young, powerful woman but did you really think he’d choose her over you?

“Oh, my love,” he breathed, pleased to have found the root of the issue, “if our young Sun Summoner has been on your mind, all you had to do was ask and I would have gladly reassured you that no one, especially not her, will ever topple your throne in my heart.”

“It’s not about Alina,” you said exasperated at how he wasn’t understanding, “it’s about… it’s about you and me and how this is our longest conversation in two years.” That he regretted. That hurt. He wanted to spend every waking moment by your side and to have it limited so drastically was criminal.

“We can’t afford that risk,” he admitted with great disappointment, “I will not put our entire future in the hands of anyone else for the sake of a few moments of honesty.”

“But you’ll put it in the hands of a teenager based on what? Faith?”

“Alina is nothing more than a pawn.”

“Yet you look at her like she is everything!” You were bitter and angry but he felt no guilt.

“I look at her like a man dying of thirst looks at water,” he bit back, “she may yet be our saviour but do not make the mistake of thinking she is my salvation.”

That shut you up. Instead of responding you turned away, blinking quickly in an attempt to stop yourself from crying. Aleksander let out a breath, his shoulders slumping. He turned his head away to stare without interest at a map nearby. Looking at you felt like a slap to the face.

“I’m just so tired of it, Aleks,” you whispered hoarsely, “I’m so tired. Of waiting, of pretending. Of… of acting like everything’s fine.”

“Then we must both be glad it is coming to an end.”

“What if it isn’t?” you asked, looking at him with a frown, “What if you fail? What if Alina fails? What if you don’t find the Stag? How long am I supposed to wait, Aleksander?”

Forever if you have to.

He doesn’t say it, can’t, wouldn’t dare. You’d never forgive him if he did, that he’s sure of.

“We won’t fail. The Stag will be found soon enough and then our wait is over,” he said coolly, allowing out a bit of his own anger at the situation. It wasn’t just you suffering, why wouldn’t you see that? You think he wanted to parade Alina around like a saint as if she could ever measure up to you?

He’d made just as many sacrifices as you had. But, if it gave you piece of mind to blame him then so be it. You could hate him right now for all he cared because once the dust cleared he’d be right beside you just as promised. He would be all you'd have and you’d be more than grateful for him.

“But I can’t even talk to you without putting our lives in jeopardy, that’s not okay and I can’t keep living like this,” you said.

“We don’t have a choice anymore.”

“But… but I don’t even know you, Aleks. And I have a feeling you don’t know me a fraction as well as you used to.”

Now that was simply incorrect. It might not have included the countless afternoons snooping through your room while you were out training or the asking his most trusted soldiers about who your friends were and what you’d been talking about recently but he did everything in his power shy of following you around in an attempt to stay connected to you. It may seem an abuse of power to some but in the scheme of things he figured it was more respectful and thoughtful than picking on you for the sake of any interaction.

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t change anything,” he said, wringing his right hand out.

“Doesn’t it?” You asked, “Because… this doesn’t feel like love anymore.”

That was a blow right to his heart. He hadn’t moved much at all during the conversation but now he came right up to you. Reaching out with both of his hands he cupped your cheeks gently. You looked up at him and after one slow blink the tears began down your face only to be wiped away by his thumbs.

“Why are you fighting so hard for this to be over?” he asked softly, leaning down to rest his forehead on yours, your noses touching slightly.

“Because we’ve been fighting time and losing,” you breathed, “And I’ve been holding on so tight I can’t let go on my own. But if you don’t… I think it’s gonna kill me, Aleksander.”

Shutting his eyes tight, he took a deep breath. Moving slowly he pressed a kiss to your cheek and then one to your forehead before bringing you to his chest and wrapping his arms around you.

“We can’t lose forever,” he whispered. Aleksander was never going to stop until he won. He would take what he deserved by any means necessary and he was prepared to be patient. But he would not lose you. He refused. “You are everything and I know you are exhausted so let me do this for us, let me make Ravka ours. I just need the Stag and then I am yours for all eternity. No King, no biting your tongue, no Sun Summoner, no holding on for your life. Just you and I.”

“Promise?” you asked, reaching forward to grab the front of his kefta for stability, your face still pressed against his chest as he held you. You felt much safer than you had in years there in his hold.

“I promise. On every moment from now until the end of time.” He lifted you away from you so he could hold you at arms reach. Your tears had dried on your cheeks and while your eyes still held their pain the anger in these had dissipated. You held his gaze for the longest minute of his life. Once it was over he reached up to hold your neck in his hands and pulled you back to him, only this time once you were close enough he bent down and kissed you.

It had been so long since that had last happened and you couldn’t help how you immediately pulled him by the kefta closer, desperate for the intimacy the last century had been lacking. He still smelt the same, tasted the same. Earth and pine needles and magic, the kind that you felt in your soul. Even if you forgot everything else about him you were sure that scent would last longer than eternity.

He was so deprived of you that every sense of decency and intelligence left him momentarily and he was kissing you hard and fast and with enthusiasm reserved only for you. Who knew when he’d next get the chance to have you all to himself like this so he’d be damned if he was going to waste it. He couldn’t help himself and he grabbed at your legs to lift you up only to have you pull away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, trying not to be annoyed that you’d interrupted the moment. You looked defeated, out of breath as well but you’d deflated more than before.

“Nothing,” you whispered sadly, “Nothing's wrong, I just- you should get back to the party or someone’s going to come looking for you.”

He looked at you curiously before sighing in resignation. “Of course, you’re right.”

“Gotta keep up appearances, right?”

He nodded. “I love you,” he said briefly, knowing you knew how much there was to back that statement up.

“I love you too,” you said, reaching out to fix his collar a bit and smooth the crinkles where you’d been gripping his kefta. He took your hands in his one last time before he left you there. He pressed a kiss to each knuckle before lowering them to your sides gently.

“Do not fret, sweet one, good things come to those who wait.”

And then he was slipping back out the now unlocked door. Back to the party to make nice as the hours ticked by and forever began again. Knowing better than to return after him you figured you’d head to bed after a nice hot bath. But for a few minutes you just stood in the room, content to be in his space a while longer.

Then came a knock at the door. Not wanting to seem suspicious you answered. “General Kirigan isn’t here right now.”

The door opened to reveal two men - clearly non-grisha. Their First Army uniforms looked worse for wear and the younger one of them looked properly tired.

“Are you here to see the General too?” the older man asked.

You shook your head. “No, I was just leaving him something.” Holding up a nearby envelope you pretended you’d just dropped it off.

“Right,” the man replied, “If it’s not too much trouble and you see him soon, would you be so kind as to tell him this tracker here’s found his Stag.”

⭑ ⟵ ★ ⟶ ⭑

a/n: i really thought writing something ben barnes would help get him outta my brain it did notttttt ;-; hope you enjoyed this! send me some feedback or a suggestion of what you wanna see from me either via my ask box or private messages :))