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[of-aurora]

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

[bigbuffcheetohpuff97-deactivate]

ive never hit reblog so fast

[project-savvy-deactivated201903]

Neither have I

[thehighpriestofreverseracism]

It works too! tried it myself

[lookatmeenoww-deactivated201301]

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

[danisontnonfire]

why is it that not more than 1/20 of Tumblr haven’t reblogged this

[breezyfreezy9]

45 Things A Girl Wants But Won't Ask For-

1. Touch her waist. 2. Actually talk to her.  3. Share secrets with her.  4. Give her your jacket.  5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?  6. Hug her.  7. Hold her.  8. Laugh with her.  9. Invite her somewhere.  10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING ..  11. Smile with her.  12. Take pictures with her.  13. Pull her onto your lap.  14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.  15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?  16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.  17. Kiss her unexpectedly.  18. Hug her from behind around the waist.  19. Tell her she’s beautiful.  20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.  21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.  22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it. 

23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her. 24. Make her feel loved.  25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..  26. Don’t lie to her.  27. DON’T cheat on her.  28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.  29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.  30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.  31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.  32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.  33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).  34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly. 35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..  36. When people diss her, stand up for her.  37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.  38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.  39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.  40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED. 

41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.  42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.  43. Take her for long walks at night.  44. Always remind her how much you love her.  45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.

[flowering-kitten]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM

dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room. You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a patrol unit is. Share this to save a life!!! Dispatchers are trained to ask specific yes or no questions..dont hang up!

[only1600kids]

*gets penalty* “that’s bullshit” *watches replay* “.. yeah okay”

[reademmaduh]

This is flawless. I can’t stop watching.

[martinidog-deactivated20181219]

Every hockey player ever sent to the penalty box

[finehoney]

im so ready to be in a relationship so whenever the universe is ready hmu with a keeper

[finehoney]

i posted this yesterday then today this cute boy held my hand and now he is sending me memes

[librarydvd]

Reblog for love

[dykespeare-deactivated20181228]

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

[kyloreybans-deactivated20160107]

I scrolled passed then I felt guilty

[brianttran-deactivated20120224]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

[ovod0se]

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

[whatgracelikes-deactivated20190]

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

[ameriagrae]

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

[larryismyhallelujah-blog]

goddamn it

[lollie-pond-deactivated20150728]

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

[steampoweredplayer]

Koop

[twirliest]

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

[nathanvj]

1.4 almost ps not risking it

[queenprotein-deactivated2016012]

Fuck this post

[i-likethesummer-rain]

2.5 million notes I hate myself

[froot-lupul]

I reblogged this twice now

[insidethe99-blog]

I’m so sorry this isn’t b99 related and this isn’t real but I can’t not skip this I’m sorry

[mayannaise-hart-deactivated2021]

Not taking a fucking chance

[lethamber]

Sorry, guys, but Im not taking a chance

[celestialkeyprincess]

No chances… She’s out… And she must be protected.

[bitchwithwifivevo]

How dare you

[riarkling]

Whatcha doin to me Farkle!

[chillyclarke-deactivated2018010]

i can’t risk it

sorry babes my moms just my favorite person ever

[prettylittleliarsfan901-deactiv]

Sorry I can’t risk it

[missprincessdancingsunshine]

Fuck sorry guys  I love my mom

[incoherentlyblogging]

Omg I hate these things but I am paranoid. So sorry guys.

[feels-ships-lunars]

2.8 million notes

CANT RISK IT

[trapbvby]

Sorry guys

[desolves]

sorry 😩

[mexicanthighs-deactivated201605]

IM NOT RISKING IT

[gorillattacks-deactivated201703]

I did, my mom is STILL DEAD. Works.

[faggottt]

3.3 million notes GURLLLLLL

[alwaysinfandomhell]

JD: I guarantee you, twenty years from now, I’ll be Veronica’s second husband.

H.M.: What happened to her first husband?

JD: Nothing she can prove.

[catpacks-deactivated20240223]

[confessionsofacarefreeblackman]

YES!!!!!!!!! I FOUND IT< Funniest vid EVER

[eligahn-deactivated20131014]

Yoooo..lol

[jenn-n-juiice-deactivated201602]

LMFAO 

[itsthelesbiana]

lmfaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo why did i laugh so loud 

[adsjkcourt]

LMFAO “causeee im a gummiee bearrrr”  ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ .

[tay-the-creator]

I almost peed on myself omfg😭😭💀💀💀

[tranquillust]

I think about this video so much

[voluptuous-lady-with-freckles]

Lmaooooooo

[dmvkidcudi]

Yo this shit gets me every time. I’m so glad somebody found this and put it in here

[yuricema-deactivated20230814]

[queenofsimplicity]

I’ve been searching everywhere for this video 😩

[elisasayshella]

😂😂😂😭

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

the head swivel im cryingggg

[sweetbabyraee]

I watch this every time it comes on my dash 😊

[takeiteasieryo-deactivated20170]

I’m honestly the guy driving. Not having it to “This is my jam!”

[mzsexxycurvydaqueenkattz]

I ❤ THIS VIDEO ESPECIALLY WHEN HIS HEAD SWIVEL😂😂 MY FAVORITE & THE SONG MY FAVORITE TOO.

[eternalmikaelson]

Prompt List of Sarcasm

“Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.” 

“Define normal.” 

“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 

“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 

“And you wonder why you’re still single.” 

“Remind me to kill you. Please.” 

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.” 

“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 

“Were you dropped on your head?” 

“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 

“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 

“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 

“If I survive, can I go home?” 

“My middle finger salutes you.” 

“This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.” 

“I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.” 

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 

“Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.” 

“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 

“Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 

“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 

“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 

“I need therapy after this.” 

“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 

“I’m not weird. I am limited edition.” 

“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 

“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 

“If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.” 

“You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 

“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 

“I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 

“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 

“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 

“Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!” 

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 

“You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.” 

“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 

“The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” 

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 

“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 

“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 

“Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.” 

“You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.” 

“What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.” 

“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 

“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 

“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 

“This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.” 

“A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” 

“Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.” 

“I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.” 

“You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 

“What you call insanity, I call inspiration.” 

“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 

“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 

“I like you. You’re different.” 

“You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.” 

“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 

“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 

“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 

“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 

“I care so little, I almost passed out.” 

“Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 

“You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” 

“The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 

“You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 

“How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.” 

“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 

“Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.” 

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.” 

“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 

“Have fun being deal.” “I will.” 

“Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 

“It’s called thinking. Go with it.” 

“I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.” 

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 

“I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.” 

“The girl is strange no question.” 

“Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.” 

“I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 

“You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.” 

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

“I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.” 

“I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.” 

“If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

“I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.” 

“Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.” 

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” 

“You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?” 

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.” 

“My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 

“I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 

“My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 

“She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” 

“And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 

“Such big evil in such a little thing.” 

“Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?” 

“What does not kill you will likely try again.” 

“Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.” 

“And hello to you too… little homewrecker.” 

“I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.” 

“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 

“What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

“In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.” 

“I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.” 

“Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.” 

“This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” 

Request [x] Masterlist [x]

[too-old-to-be-em0]

Can we just take a minute to really appreciate how brave Dan was? Opening up to people you’re close to about your mental health can be terrifying and he just put a video out there knowing millions of people will see it. He could have been vague but he really went into detail about his personal experiences which could help a lot of his audience particularly young people who don’t fully understand what they’re going through. To know that even someone who is successful and has millions of fans is experiencing the same horrible thing as you is a real reminder mental health can affect anyone. When Dan talked about making a video on mental health I never expected he would be this raw or go into such personal detail and I think he should really be applauded for doing so as it’s such a difficult issue to talk about.

[allsonargent]

Scott McCall + favorite quotes [20/?]

[zen-like-deactivated20160905]

[jesuisuneetoile]

THIS IS MARRIAGE!!

Thats right!

Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.

He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”

Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.

[wtfhistory]

LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.

In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.

Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.

Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT. 

Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.

FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.

[justin-john-deactivated20181027]

^^ I throughly enjoyed the history lesson dashed with the colorful adjectives.

[7seasplace-deactivated20180320]

I mean, he knew she was Cersei… lol

[ohdiogenes]

And the women were trained the exact same way as men were. As children they were equals ; they were not allowed to wear clothing until a certain age and at that point they were sent away to a training camp until they were 18. It was only the men who were sent into the wilderness for an extra two years to ensure their strength for battle. 

Plus the women could marry whomever they pleased and the men weren’t allowed to live with the women in their house until she said so. And they were tough in Sparta but also all about family. To have male offspring was good luck, to have female offspring was an honour. 

This part of the movie was true; King Leonidas really did kill a man because he insulted his wife and he always ensured that he had his wife’s approval. And while Leonidas was away in battle she did rule Sparta on her own. 

Sparta knew what was up. 

[tillythemenace]

#Hiccstrid

[saintdollyparton]

As a historian I can confirm all of this is totally true and amazingly badass.

It’s also worthy of note that people like to romanticize Athens because of its democracy whereas Sparta was a hardened monarchy. But Athens was nowhere near as open for women as Sparta was.

[musashi]

thoughts on the friendzone

when i was 5 years old my best friend was a boy named kyle who didn’t know how to knock on doors so he made dinosaur noises outside my window to wake me up in the summer until i demonstrated how to ball his fists and slam them against my doors.  we collected caterpillars in my trailer park and built them houses while we traded pokemon cards.  he wasn’t the only one.  there was ben, and mitch, and noah—but kyle’s the only one who hurt me, because when he tried to kiss me and i asked him why, he told me “because you’re a girl and i’m a boy, shouldn’t we like each other?”

i missed him so much and i wondered why he couldn’t just be my friend like he always was

in the first grade there was rich and joseph and i got sent to detention with them almost every day with a smile on my face.  we built block towers and sang to my teacher’s lion king soundtracks when she’d turn the lights off during lunch time.  one day they got in a fist fight over me at recess, and i wondered why they felt they needed to share my friendship, like it was something they owned.

in the second grade zach and i played yu gi oh under our desks during free time and i got moved for talking to him constantly.  everyone in the class would tease him and i for talking, asking when we were going to date already, asking him if he’d kissed me, and he stopped being my friend.

when i was 11 i met a chubby boy with the name of a colour who wore puffy vests and unwashed t-shirts, with greasy hair and bright blue eyes and a smile that hid hurt behind it.  people didn’t like him because he was silly, but i liked him, because i was also silly.  he became my friend the day he bought me 5 giant roses and asked me to be his girlfriend, and i politely declined but promised him i’d be his best friend because i’d always wanted a best guy friend that stuck around. we burnt our feet on the concrete during the summer and walked home with the sunset silhouetting us.  he talked often about how he loved me, but never blamed me for being me, even though he refused to move on. that boy dyed his hair jet black and sat on the end of my bed playing songs to me on guitar, and all that pent up rage from before didn’t show until the first time he slapped me across the face and called me a dumb cunt.

in the 7th grade there was a boy named ryan who sat next to me on the bus and talked to me about manga.  he’d ask me personal invasive questions but i didn’t mind because it was attention and i liked attention.  i was dating another guitarist with curly brown hair, one who was much more kind-tempered than the other, and ryan mentioned how much of an asshole he was every day.  i wondered, why, why does he think the love of my life is an asshole?  but whenever i asked him, he just told me, “girls only date assholes.  there’s no room for nice guys like me.”

i wondered, if he was so nice, why did he say such mean things?

he never stopped with me, taking me to movies, hanging out with me, you know.  being friendly.  i thought we were friends.  but then, how many times had i thought that before?

how many times had i bonded with a boy, thought they got me, only for them to ask me if i wanted to make out?

how come when i told ryan i was coming out as a lesbian, he stopped being my friend, and said “damnit, the one girl i really want to pound into a mattress, and she’s only interested in chicks!”

there was a boy my junior year who stayed up all night with me until the sun rose, talking about life, past loves, hopes, dreams.  beneath a million twinkling stars spanning forever, he brushed long brown hair out of his eyes and listened to me talk about the history that made me. then he asked me if i’d ever consider dating a guy, and complained about how he’d never get laid.

when i told him no a couple hundred times, he found new girls to listen to.

i would sit on the couch and play zelda with dakota, and he’d talk about all my favourite games with me.  he was the closest thing to support i had, and the letters and poems he wrote me were always so kind and friendly.  but he’d put his arms around me on the couch, and no matter how many times i told him i was uncomfortable, he’d still come over every day and do it.

“don’t you know how it feels to love someone and not have them love you back?  don’t you know what it feels like to be friendzoned?”

when i meet guys who talk about the friendzone, who talk about the girls who don’t give “nice guys” like them i chance, i always want to just say

when i was 10 years old i met a girl whose brown hair fell across her shoulders and whos eyes sparkled when the sunlight hit them, whose voice was like velvet and whose scent was like mountain smoke, who made me dizzier than a fly climbing a sugar hill.  and i’m 18 years old, and i still love her, and she knows, and she doesn’t love me.

but my first thoughts upon hearing her rejection were not “what a bitch,” were not “she just wants a douchebag and not a nice girl like me!” were not “im going to keep pushing her until she dates me,”

they were

“she is the best friend i have ever had, and i am the best she’s ever had, and i would hate to take that away from her.”

so before you play the victim, mr. Nice Guy, before you angrily throw your fedora on the ground and blame the girl you claim to adore so much:

put yourself in the shoes of a girl who thought she made a wonderful friend, only to find out that he just wanted her for sex.  that he just wanted her for a relationship.  a girl who was just an object to win, a prize.  a girl who’s trust you’ve just shattered.

maybe she friendzoned you.  but you girlfriendzoned her, first.

[nyahchatnoir]

I am clapping for this, you just can’t see it.

[howellaboutphil-blog]

okay honestly wow I’m oh my god just

[the-bowl888]

GIRLFRIENDZONED!! OH MY GOD YES