is it okay?

[bax-status-checker]

warning this is my vent blog

posts will be tagged with trigger warnings tho

@stagefrightbaxter is main

it/he

current bax status:

well

mains types of statuses: (idrk if I’ll use them too often but they’ll be sorted by color)

stable - basically the neutral. I do not want to hurt myself but I’m not perfect

well - i love myself and have no desire to harm myself!

why - i want to hurt myself but am fine except for maybe one thing

unstable - a mix of bad and stable. not quite bad but not quite stable. May be struggling with something but can manage

eh - a mix of stable and well. I’ve been worse and I don’t rlly wanna hurt myself at all

bad - im fucked

[bax-status-checker]

I was going to send a gif of a wolf because :3 (and wolf's influence) but this was on the front gif page and I couldn't bear to lose it. Hi, glad you're doing well ^^

"If they didn't want you to bury your head, why did they invent sand?" ?????

IM CRINE… yes hello friend I am good!!

[bax-status-checker]

glad ur feeling a little better from last night^_^

i feel great man!!, i could do anything…even jack my jelly

[bax-status-checker]

r u doing okay now?

yeah!

[bax-status-checker]

dont be scared. i get that you realize some things you did were bad but it does not make you unworthy or anything and it doesn't mean that everyone will hate you. Feel better soon and we're here for you

okay thanks

[stagefrightbaxter]

thanks every1 for reassurance ing me I feel a bit better and will not harm myself

[bax-status-checker]

i hope with all my heart you’re ok and im so sorry you’re going through so much

I feel a bit better bow

[bax-status-checker]

look into e6

what’s that I can’t search anything rn SCREENTIME limit

[bax-status-checker]

People fuck up a lot and they might fuck up again but that does not mean you arent deserving of love. regardless of things you have done, no one is undeserving of love. no one. You’re extremely brave taking accountability and realizing you did something wrong. it’s a quality many don’t possess. there will always be people to love you and look out for you when you’re unable to do it for yourself. Please do not do anything harmful to yourself there are so many people who care for you. no one is perfect and i know you must feel horrible and im just a stranger anon who’s words won’t make much of a difference but i still care. so do many others. there are people who can help you, who you can trust. you don’t have to fix yourself or anything, but remember there are people who love every bit of you no matter what, and if you want help you are allowed to accept it. you are worthy of everything. <333

but something wants me to be irredeemable. something wants everyone to leave. im scared

[bax-status-checker]

why are you gonna be sick are you okay

6 is back we were doing so good. hes crazy he always does this he tries to make everyone hate us

[bax-status-checker]

oh its six. he’s back. oh my gods no i thought he went dormant noonononnoononono

[bax-status-checker]

im gonna be sick.

[bax-status-checker]

oh its six. he’s back. oh my gods no i thought he went dormant noonononnoononono

[bax-status-checker]

youre not a bad person because of this. I don't know how to explain my exact definition of a bad person but you wouldn't fit that definition because your aren't a bad person. It's okay to feel this way, to think this way. It's okay. Your not a bad person because of this. You should sleep. I'm pretty sure sleep will kinda reset your emotions and sleep is just good. If you need you can also read something. You are not a bad person and even if I don't know you in real life I still will think that until you do something that makes you one.(Sorry if this isn't comforting. :[)

hey anon. im curious why do you think that i think im a bad person? /genq

[creaturethatwouldratherreadfluff]

i was trying to say that you weren't a bad person.... Did I mess up my phrasing(?) somewhere?

[bax-status-checker]

no im just curious

[creaturethatwouldratherreadfluff]

??? I think I'm not quite understanding what your saying... uh idk what to say... Don't believe I said you were a bad person ever. If I implied it I didn't mean to...

[bax-status-checker]

oh soz i meant why do you think that I, MYSELF believe that. sorry for the confusion

[creaturethatwouldratherreadfluff]

oh! Uh I mean you were saying that uh earlier. That's why I thought you thought that

[bax-status-checker]

i hurt people for fun. ive tried to drown someone before

[bax-status-checker]

youre not a bad person because of this. I don't know how to explain my exact definition of a bad person but you wouldn't fit that definition because your aren't a bad person. It's okay to feel this way, to think this way. It's okay. Your not a bad person because of this. You should sleep. I'm pretty sure sleep will kinda reset your emotions and sleep is just good. If you need you can also read something. You are not a bad person and even if I don't know you in real life I still will think that until you do something that makes you one.(Sorry if this isn't comforting. :[)

hey anon. im curious why do you think that i think im a bad person? /genq

[creaturethatwouldratherreadfluff]

i was trying to say that you weren't a bad person.... Did I mess up my phrasing(?) somewhere?

[bax-status-checker]

no im just curious

[creaturethatwouldratherreadfluff]

??? I think I'm not quite understanding what your saying... uh idk what to say... Don't believe I said you were a bad person ever. If I implied it I didn't mean to...

[bax-status-checker]

oh soz i meant why do you think that I, MYSELF believe that. sorry for the confusion

[bax-status-checker]

youre not a bad person because of this. I don't know how to explain my exact definition of a bad person but you wouldn't fit that definition because your aren't a bad person. It's okay to feel this way, to think this way. It's okay. Your not a bad person because of this. You should sleep. I'm pretty sure sleep will kinda reset your emotions and sleep is just good. If you need you can also read something. You are not a bad person and even if I don't know you in real life I still will think that until you do something that makes you one.(Sorry if this isn't comforting. :[)

hey anon. im curious why do you think that i think im a bad person? /genq

[creaturethatwouldratherreadfluff]

i was trying to say that you weren't a bad person.... Did I mess up my phrasing(?) somewhere?

[bax-status-checker]

no im just curious

[bax-status-checker]

i dunno the context really but even if you're a "bad person", i still believe you have to be a little kind to yourself. it's normal to fuck up and have that feel like it defines you but it doesn't, and it doesn't mean you aren't worthy of love🫂🫂

i tried to drown someone. because i thought it was funny. does that sound like someone deserving of love?

[bax-status-checker]

youre not a bad person because of this. I don't know how to explain my exact definition of a bad person but you wouldn't fit that definition because your aren't a bad person. It's okay to feel this way, to think this way. It's okay. Your not a bad person because of this. You should sleep. I'm pretty sure sleep will kinda reset your emotions and sleep is just good. If you need you can also read something. You are not a bad person and even if I don't know you in real life I still will think that until you do something that makes you one.(Sorry if this isn't comforting. :[)

hey anon. im curious why do you think that i think im a bad person? /genq