Crossroads: the third meeting | Joel Miller x Reader
Summary: The third and final of your and Joel’s agreed-upon three meetings. But will you have another bargain to make?
Rating: E for Explicit
Tags: demon!Joel. not an age gap fic. We are pretty much in afab!reader territory now bc SMUT: public sex but Joel’s powers keep you from being visible; sex but like, extra-hot sex bc of Joel’s powers (although he’s not actually tempting you); I make shit up about demonic bargains
Words: 9,591
Note: it’s hAPPENINGGGGGGG. Okay, everyone calm down. Wow, it feels like it’s been so long since I posted a fic I forgot how I do this lmao. Anyway. Me, finishing a fic in the year of our lord 2026??? WE ARE SO BACK. This is the concluding chapter of Crossroads! I’m literally so proud to have finished this, and so grateful for anybody still here reading :') Enjoy!
Crossroads | Moodboard | Masterlist
It was the holiday weekend, and even Joel’s bulk couldn’t move him through the twilight crowds any faster. The streets were thronged with drunken revelers. The weather was balmy, and warmth prickled beneath Joel’s collar. The temperature was just shy of too warm- it was promising, electric, like the air before a storm, only there were no clouds in sight. Only a sherbet-colored sunset spiraling down to the horizon, night rippling in its wake.
The bouncers at the Chameleon didn’t quite see him. Joel bypassed the line and slipped between them, and then the dull roar of chatter and laughter and clinking glasses surrounded him. He made a slow circuit of the bar, but didn’t see anyone he recognized. His chest tightened. What if you weren’t here? What if your plans changed?
Joel scowled, and snatched a tall glass from a passing waitress’s tray. A duplicate appeared in its stead. The stolen contents he downed there and then, a taste he recognized too late leaving a sickly-sweet burn in his throat. Joel coughed; just his fucking luck to get a long island iced tea.
He stole a shorter glass on his way toward the back, and was rewarded with something much more palatable. Before the entrance to the club half of the place, Joel lingered. The dark hall loomed like an open maw, ready to swallow him whole. The humans didn’t seem to feel what Joel did; they passed him happily in both directions.
The ones entering the club had a frenetic energy about them- they were jittery and excited, anticipating whatever lay ahead. The ones leaving, despite their breathless exhilaration and the sweat gleaming on their skin, seemed…sated. Whatever they’d done or found inside had left them satisfied in a way that Joel yearned for.
The hall was dim, and a shade too narrow for its purpose- currying tipsy partygoers back and forth between bar and club. Especially since, despite the signs requesting them not to, numerous people paused on the way, wisps of gossip or pep talks catching his ear as he edged past. Joel held the leash on his irritation with gritted teeth.
And then he was through.
Loud, bass-heavy music pulsed around him. Layers of shimmery decoration and colored lights criss-crossed the ceiling. To his right, standing tables surrounded the bar. Ahead, roving lights lured partygoers down sloped, curving paths to a sunken dance floor.
Joel could sense you. You were somewhere in the crowd, amongst the shifting, swaying bodies. The heat under Joel’s collar prickled with sweat, blooming down the back of his neck. The drinks he’d stolen swirled in his gut and in his head.
He kept his distance from the crowd, making his way around it, hiding behind the thick, treelike pillars that seemed to serve as decoration. Their neon graffiti job wasn’t very subtle, though, and neither was his towering figure. Human desires caught caught and clung to him like cobwebs. Joel politely turned away an invitation to dance, and shook off the rest of the whispers clamoring for his attention.
There you were.
Joel’s breath caught. The crowd parted in a surging wave, and there you were, shining like a star, your head thrown back in laughter. The fringy layers of your top whirled with your movements, side to side, flaring, swaying. You were a radiant blur- or was that just Joel’s vision?
The nearest pillar was cold beneath his hands, but Joel was grateful. Mortal desires hazed the air, thick enough to make his head spin, his gut clench. His presence wasn’t helping. His aura only amplified it, made the uninhibited humans even more so. As he watched, your friends urged you into the arms of another, a man dancing nearby. You seemed happy enough, chest to chest with this generically handsome mortal, but- were you?
Joel shouldn’t interfere. And he wouldn’t, he just…had to check. He reached out with his power.
Desire smoked from you like a song. It hit Joel hard. Irresistible, alluring. Your desires sang like this for him?
Joel listened closer. No- it wasn’t that random man you wanted, but someone. You wanted bare skin and open mouths and to lose yourself in a give and take of pleasure. This guy was a stand-in, nothing more. Not even that, to judge by what happened next: as the club music changed, you stepped away from him, nodding in farewell and returning to your friends. Your smile brightened then, a warmer, truer chord threading through your song.
The desires of all of the unrestrained humans in the club harmonized in a heady, seductive chorus, thumping in his blood- but they were all background. Yours was the only song Joel was tuned into.
He shouldn’t get any closer. Neither of you would be able to deny that this was your third meeting, and then what would you do? What he’d talked about with Tess….Joel didn’t have the answers he needed yet.
He turned away, blinking colored lights out of his eyes. But the crowd was closer than he realized. Again it parted, splitting as if at Moses’s command. Your attention shot through the gap and struck him like lightning.
For a brief moment, your song went silent with shock. Then it blazed forth again, stronger and surer, everything you’d been feeling for your dance partner transmuted into one very specific desire that blazed through his every cell. Joel closed his eyes. But he couldn’t un-feel his power, hooking into both his desires and yours, linking them together in a dangerous feedback loop.
“Joel? What are you doing here?”
When he opened his eyes, you stood before him. Your brow was furrowed, but your smile was authentic. Your posture was loose and open.
“I was just leavin’. Didn’t mean to interrupt your night.” Joel turned away.
Your hand on his arm was as sudden as a brand. The song of your desire crooned all the more sweetly, burrowing under his skin, and Joel gritted his teeth.
“You’re not. Do you wanna stay? Dance or talk or whatever? They have decent whiskey here, I checked.” Your smile was so goddamn genuine it [pierced like too-bright sunlight].
He shook you off, avoiding your gaze. “I can’t.”
“Wh- is something wrong?”
Joel was used to being able to stride away from problems like this, taking full advantage of his physique or his power. But here- the damn flashing lights blindsiding him, people continuously stumbling into his path, and you, your anxious calls following him- Joel made it only as far as the back wall before he was forced to face you.
You nearly slammed into him. “What the hell, Joel, why are you running away from me?”
“You weren’t meant to see me.” The words came out bitten down and harsh, and Joel hated himself for it.
“Okay, well I have. But if you didn’t want to hang out right now, you could just say so.”
“That’s not- how it works.” Didn’t you understand? Didn’t you remember? Demon, deal, meetings. His anger was out of proportion and wasn’t truly at you, but he couldn’t stop it.
“That’s not how what works? Communication??” You didn’t comprehend his anger, but you matched it, your voice rising in volume. Your expression was bewildered and defensive.
“It’s not how any of this is supposed to work!” Joel slammed his fist into the wall. Pain burst in his knuckles, jagged and demanding, and he hissed.
You gasped. “Joel!” You grabbed his hand, running cool fingers over the knuckles. The flesh was mottled red and white, the pain an insistent pulse as his body rang the alarm for bruises that were sure to develop.
Joel breathed in the pain. It was sharp but satisfying, a distraction from the desires blaring at him from all directions. Mostly. As you gently traced his sore fingers, the song that he was trying escape reached him again. A new layer of concern overlaid the melody, but the desire was still there, like the deep currents of the ocean, constant despite the storms raging overhead.
“Leave it.” Joel withdrew his hand, shaking it loose as if to dispel the ache. He turned for the door again.
You seized him by the arm. “No! Joel, wait. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Fury flared within him. “What’s wrong? I can hear you, kitten. That’s what’s wrong.”
Confusion knit your brow. “What?”
Joel spun, coming closer and closer, boxing you in until your back hit the wall. He planted one hand beside your head. Slowly, deliberately, he said, “I can hear you.” His gaze lowered, dripping down like liquid, drop by drop, over every curve and contour of your body.
--
Joel loomed over you, the whole height and breadth of him blocking out everything else. The colored strobes, the pounding music, the surrounding crowd…all of it faded into background. The light in his eyes ensnared you, sharp and glinting as shards of glass.
Pinned, stunned by the blatant path those eyes carved down your body, it took you a moment to understand his meaning. Fear and excitement made your heart race.
You lifted your chin, holding his burning gaze. “And?”
“And?” His earlier anger still smoldered.
“And, what do you hear? What do I want?” Your mocking tone wasn’t helpful, but it was out of your control- entirely a reaction to his temper.
“What you want,” Joel said, “is a bad idea.” His eyes were molten gold. Churning, warning.
Maybe it was the drinks, but you said, recklessly, “And what about you, Joel? What do you want?”
His jaw ground from side to side. “What I want,” Joel growled, “is an even worse idea.”
He pushed closer, both arms bracketing you. His knee shoved in between your thighs. If this was him trying to prove it, he was doing a terrible job; who he might have been trying to prove it to, you had no idea.
Your body was alight at every plane of contact. The smell of him- woodsmoke and sweat and whiskey- swirled in your head. You held his gaze. “Prove it.”
Joel’s golden eyes blazing was the last thing you saw before your mouths collided. Your faces, your noses, as he surged into you, one hand on your face, the other around your waist. You tasted whiskey on his tongue. Joel groaned furiously, like a tree about to fall.
You touched him with voracity, your hands devouring him. His body was as solid as it looked, warm through his thin shirt. His chest heaved with fast, ragged breaths. You wound your arms tight around him, claiming this kiss, claiming him.
His lips met yours again, and again, and again.
All too suddenly they left, to be replaced by the sensation of the button on your shorts opening. You gasped, your eyes flying open. The zipper lowered next. Joel’s touch was hot and rough against your belly, and then his bruise-knuckled hand slid into your panties.
Your body arched into his touch. Desire and panic tangled in your chest. “Joel!” you choked out. “People-!”
Joel scoffed. “They won’t see anything I don’t want ‘em to.”
Your vision tilted, narrowed: Joel, one arm braced by your head, his wide shoulders blocking out the world. Joel, nostrils flared, his lips parting in time with your mouth falling open. Joel, his fingers delving into your sex as if they’d done it a thousand times before.
His hand moved with an easy confidence. He found the slickness he sought- and then he found more, like he’d tripped a switch (which he had, more or less, the moment you saw him). Joel uttered a sound: rough and breathy, almost stunned.
When you opened your eyes, Joel looked as wrecked as you felt. A harsh edge seemed to melt from his expression. You wrapped an arm around his neck and yanked him into another kiss, but there was more care in it this time; a deeper, curious sensuality.
Joel sank one finger into you, and your mouth fell slack. The corners of his mustache bristled upward. His fingers continued to move, finding a shape, a rhythm. You moaned as quietly as you could, panting into Joel’s mouth.
His breath gusted against your face. “This what you want, kitten?”
“Fuck, Joel- yes.” Your voice came out high and strained and pleading.
Joel pressed two fingers into you, and the sensation, the fullness, was fucking incredible. Your fingers dug into his shoulder. He kept going, nestling the meat of his palm against your clit, and the situation became dire very quickly.
“Joel- Joel-” Desperate, strangled whimpers.
“No one but me can hear you, honey. Come on.”
Joel’s fingers undulated inside you. His golden eyes remained the only light, scouring your face, intent on his mission. Wrapped in his arms, in his promise of safety, in his smell…you let go.
You fell apart on his hand, shuddering and crying out as you came. Joel’s body remained unyielding, a rock to which you moored yourself- the only thing that kept you upright as pleasure liquefied your bones.
When your eyes opened again, they found a look of fierce satisfaction on Joel’s face. You looked away, heat filling your cheeks, blushing as if his fingers weren’t literally still inside you. The light in his eyes shuttered then, his face twisting as if it had only just now hit him what he’d done.
He eased his fingers out of you. There was a stutter of a moment as his hand wavered- and then, with a furtive look, Joel brought it to his mouth, sucking your arousal off his fingers. Heat surged within you anew. Joel flexed his hand, surveying the knuckles, where the flesh had darkened to a sullen red.
Joel lowered his arm, guilt (and something else?) flickering across his face. You stared at each other in the settling stillness. As your thundering pulse slowed, your environment filtered back in; you glanced around surreptitiously, checking that truly no one heard you.
Joel made to disentangle himself from you. “I told you this was a bad idea.”
“No, Joel, wait.”
He stopped, uncertainty in the lines around his eyes. “I get that you think this is a bad idea. I wasn’t expecting this either, okay, but- I was serious before. What do you want?”
Joel regarded you silently for a long minute. “What do I want?” He shook his head. “I want a lot of things, honey. I want one of them fancy coffee filters from the place we went. I want an original Gibson Songwriter, and time to play it. But mostly…I want to leave this damn club and have this conversation somewhere I can actually hear.” He scowled at the club at large, looking so disgruntled that you couldn’t help but laugh, your body shaking and tears pricking your lashes.
Joel’s mouth curved up ever so slightly. His eyes had gentled to a warm honey gold. “Can I take you somewhere else, kitten?”
Red and purple lights stroked his silver hair, making him look all the more otherworldly. Your legs were still wobbly; you couldn’t imagine wanting to go anywhere.
You looked up at him. “Take me home?”
Something flickered across his face, there and gone before you could name it. Then mischief flashed in his eyes. “You got it.” Joel stepped closer, folding you tightly into his arms, and you squeaked. He husked in your ear: “Hold on.”
There was a feeling of pressure like a great hand around your middle. A whiff of brimstone teased your nose. You stiffened, clinging to him to with both hands-
And then it stopped. Your surrounds were dark and still, the air unscented by human desire and sweat. You breathed it in, your body struggling to comprehend the abrupt change.
Joel released you carefully, gently, and you stumbled backward a step, landing on the arm of your couch. You stared at him. His lips twitched. “I told ya to hold on.”
In the total silence, your body was suddenly the loudest thing. The way you sat called attention to the sensitivity between your legs, the slick, tingling throb that was still very present. Your back was still imprinted with the flat, hard wall, your front with the phantom warmth of Joel’s body pressing against yours.
Joel seemed to have the same realization as you shifted, mindful of the tenderness. He took a step back. “Kitten,” he started, “I didn’t bring you home to…continue anything. I said we should talk, and I meant it.”
You looked away. Talking was the last thing on your mind. But you were more clear-headed now, enough to curb your reckless impulses. “I know, Joel. And I know we should talk, but like…can we do it tomorrow? You can stay here if you want, and we could go to breakfast again. On the couch, I meant. You could stay.” Your words stumbled, flustered as you were.
After a long moment, Joel relented. “All right. But only if we go back to that diner from before. Been dreamin’ about that Hungry Man Special.” His eyes went a little foggy as they drifted into the distance.
Breathless with relief, you laughed. You hurried through your nighttime routine in the apartment’s only bathroom. You lingered in the hall once finished, as Joel approached to take his turn.
You looked toward your bedroom door. “Sure you don’t want to sleep on the beanbag again?” you teased.
Joel snorted. “Real sure. That thing was hell on my back.” He glared past you to the offending cushion.
You laughed, and the tension eased. A step backward brought you into the doorway. “Well…good night, Joel.”
“Night, kitten.” In the dark hall, between the light of his bed and yours, Joel’s eyes were luminous. Beacons, calling to you in the night. They remained on you as you took another step back to shut the door, leaving it cracked your customary few inches, and then turned away.
In pajamas and in bed, you twitched and shifted restlessly. Your mind wouldn’t turn off, occupied as it was by the demon in your living room. By the ache between your legs, the place where you were still slick and longing for more. You sprawled on your back, stroking your inner thigh thoughtfully, your lip between your teeth.
Riled though you still were, you almost didn’t want to touch yourself. What you wanted was for Joel to be touching you. For his hands, wide and rough and sure, to be the ones to bring you relief.
Dwelling on what you wanted brought your thoughts back to Joel’s powers. Could he hear you all the way in here, stewing in your desire for him? Was there even a point in hiding away anymore? You wanted him, and he knew. And he wanted you. The evening’s earlier events had proven that.
You flung back the covers. There was no point in hiding. Even if Joel was afraid for some reason, you weren’t.
You marched across the room, yanked open the door- and stopped dead in your tracks.
Joel stood before you like a mirror image. His hand was raised to knock. You inhaled sharply, the butterflies in your stomach ballooning in intensity.
Joel looked like you felt: hungry, afraid, resolved. His eyes glimmered like coins, heads or tails hanging on this split-second moment-
then you were back in each other’s grasp, bodies colliding, mouths fused. You stumbled backward with Joel following, conjoined like magnets. You fell against the bed still entwined, shimmying to a horizontal position while grappling for dominance.
“‘M sorry- about before-” Joel mumbled, panting, between kisses. “I was angry- but not with you- shouldn’ta done that- in a club-” He sounded disgruntled again for some reason, but all you knew was that he should not be sorry.
“Don’t apologize.” Your head dropped back as he mouthed at your neck. “I wanted it.”
Joel made a sound that you would have said was disagreement, but conversation fell away when he tugged at the wide neckline of your shirt. He pressed teeth and tongue to every new inch of skin he bared, following the sounds of your enjoyment.
His hand was wide and hot on your belly. “Can I take this off, kitten?”
He was on you again as soon as your top hit the floor, his greater weight giving him an edge. Your hands nestled in his silver-gray hair. The locks were pleasingly coarse, perfectly grippable, the curls wrapping around your fingers as if begging you to hold them.
“Joel!” Your moan cut through the darkness- sudden, loud, and prolonged by his mouth on your nipple. His beard prickled the sensitive skin.
His teeth flashed in the dark. “Should’ve been like this.” His voice was muffled but smug, as rolled your other nipple between his fingers and you threw your head back, overwhelmed.
Moonlight cascaded through the open window, filming everything in grayscale, but neither of you had trouble seeing. You tugged at the hem of his shirt. “You too.”
Joel seemed to hesitate for a second. But he obliged, tossing his shirt with yours on the floor, baring more of himself to you than ever before. The lack of outer layer didn’t make him any less broad; the strength visible in his arms and chest made your mouth water.
He settled over you, and at the first touch of his skin on yours, Joel moaned. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing hard. You tried to put all the lust and admiration you were feeling into your touch.
“Joel.” You wanted to soothe him. Instead, Joel kissed you with such fervor your head spun. He was all around you, so much of him you couldn’t tell where he ended and you began.
You scrabbled for the button of his jeans, and it seemed to bring him back to himself. He batted your hands away. His yellow eyes glared like warning lights, before lowering to your chest, his mouth searing an unwavering path downward. Between your breasts, over your belly button. His tongue drew a hot, wet line along the band of your sleep shorts, and you felt like you might vibrate out of your skin. Fresh dampness soaked your cunt.
“Can I take these off, kitten?” Those eyes, between your legs, in his stupid gorgeous face. His wide, strong shoulders keeping your knees apart. You were so tightly wound you’d never think Joel had made you come barely an hour before.
“Yes.”
Kneeling between your legs, Joel drank in the sight of you lying bare before him. Your hands fisted in the sheets. Arousal coiled in your gut as you focused on your desire, projecting every wanton, lascivious thought you’ve ever had about Joel directly at him.
Joel bowed forward with a groan. “Jesus, kitten. You tryin’ta kill me? I can hear you loud and clear.” His mouth met the inside of your knee, kissing hot and messy up to ever more sensitive skin.
Your mouth curved; you met his gaze with a breathless, impish grin. “Just making sure.”
His eyes narrowed to golden slivers, amusement and challenge clashing. He lowered his head, slowly, deliberately, until your grin dissolved; until his breath puffed over your aching sex. Your breath came fast and shallow.
Joel flattened his tongue against you, and you were undone. You held nothing back from him: your cries and moans spilled into the night. Your body writhed and thrashed until he pinned you down, holding you to his mouth without respite. Joel moaned into you, eagerly and methodically taking you apart.
When you came, it was hot and wet and easy, the tether snapping like it was keyed to his touch. It roared through you, leaving you boneless and pushing Joel’s head away
“Fuck, Joel.” Your chest was heaving. You gulped down air, throwing an arm across your eyes.
“Thought that’s what you wanted, kitten.” His smug grin was audible, and your own mouth curled in response.
“Shut up.” You looked at him again, and the sight of him, bare-chested and full of masculine satisfaction, eyes crinkled in affection…You jerked your chin at him in command. “Take those off and come here.”
Joel remained smirking as he stood. “Yes, boss.”
And when his jeans dropped, revealing the thickness of him, hips and thighs and…everything…he was still smirking faintly, because you were staring.
He climbed back up between your knees. “Joel…” You were still hungry for him, despite both your releases, and your whimper came out slightly bewildered.
His golden eyes glinted, and you remembered. His powers.
God, no wonder your desire was so powerful. Joel’s powers made you feel your wants acutely, and right now, you wanted him, and had no reason to deny yourself.
Joel’s hand skated down your thigh, bringing you back to yourself. When his fingers slid into you, you moaned. The fact that they slipped in so easily was almost as erotic as the sensation itself. “Joel, please.”
“Gotta make sure you’re ready for me, honey.” There was no more smugness in him, only pure intent as he watched you carefully. Joel added a third finger and you keened. Your entire body trembled with want.
Finally, he made his way on top of you again. Joel lowered his mouth to yours. “I know, kitten,” he murmured, and he now sounded as frayed as you felt. The harsh rasp of his breath in his throat made it clear that your feelings were mirrored.
You felt high, like you were soaring on endorphins as all of Joel’s bare skin pressed into yours. Every single one of his many and well-proportioned square inches strained to be closer to you, hot and alive and everywhere, and speaking of square inches- a line of rigid, velvet fire pressed against your hip, and your mouth fell open.
“You sure you want to keep goin’, honey?” Joel’s question was tender and clear-headed despite that his powers must be drowning him in your desire.
He’d misunderstood your reaction. The thought of being stretched out by that, filled up with so much of him- “Yes, Joel.” It was a breathless plea as you angled your hips to him.
Joel entered you inch by slow, careful inch. His broad frame trembled, and you clung to him as your eyes rolled back in your head.
“Joel- Joel-” you whimpered.
“I know, kitten, I know. God damn,” Joel swore. When you could finally open your eyes, he looked agonized, and your brow furrowed.
You brought a hand to his face and gently guided his mouth to yours. His movements slowed, his tremors stabilizing, and despite the sensation of being unmade, bursting at the seams with desire, you felt calmer, centered.
Joel rested his forehead against yours. He ground his hips into you, lightly, experimentally- like he was savoring it- and you bit down on a moan.
A ghost of a chuckle, and his motions became more deliberate. You made a helpless, gritted-teeth sound.
“Good, kitten?” Joel’s lips brushed your cheek, your jaw.
You managed a sort of scoff. “You tell me.” For you had no doubt he was still tuned into your desire.
His grin was a flash of teeth. “Good. If I’m damning you, I better make it worth it, huh?”
A question rose on your lips, but then Joel started fucking you, really fucking you, and your mouth fell slack. Long, deep strokes, drawing nearly all the way out of you before plunging in again. His mouth and his hands moved, ensuring you were overwhelmed by pleasure on every front. And everywhere his eyes, golden, warm as his touch, like you were being smothered in honey.
Joel burrowed into your desire until it filled his every sense, until he could taste it. Your high- the high of getting what you so badly wanted while also wanting it to never end- was a unique and sought-after euphoria for his kind. He understood why some of them indulged to the point of mythologization- how else could the concept of incubi have arisen? If he wasn’t careful he could glut himself on you, become addicted, ruined for all other highs.
Joel’s hips seemed to move of their own accord, utterly mindless to anything that wasn’t your cries of pleasure or the internal pulse he was tuned into. He moved with force, guttural sounds that he hardly recognized forced out with every breath. He wondered, in a moment of electric delirium, how sex as a human could compare to this.
Your headboard was hitting the wall in a damning rhythm; you weren't feeling quite so cavalier about your open window now. A microscopic corner of your mind bleated concern, but as Joel continued to drive into you it was entirely drowned out by bliss, every thrust a deluge of pleasure.
Pressure was rising up inside you fast. You squeezed, wrapping your legs around his hips, and Joel grunted in appreciation. He wrapped an arm around your knee and held it there, keeping you pressed open for him, and you arched into it.
“Joel- fuck-” His name came out as a sob.
“Tell me, kitten.” His breath gusted hot and damp against your cheek. “Wanna hear you say how good it is.”
Pleasure, spiraling ever-tighter. “So good, Joel,” you babbled mindlessly. “Fucking- ah- better than I imagined-”
Joel snarled. Sudden and desperate, his hips slammed into you faster, harder, and splayed beneath him as you were, taking all of that wantwantwant-
You burst. You all but screamed as you came, a guttural, high-pitched sound scraping your throat and catching between your teeth. Pleasure wracked you and it just wouldn’t stop, and Joel kept going and going, even as his own body shuddered and his fingers dug into you with pressure enough to bruise. Golden eyes struggled to watch you, but they were all you could see, everything else a rapturous blur.
Finally Joel slowed, and you collapsed, the tension whooshing out of your every muscle. You were still breathing hard and fast. With painstaking slowness, Joel lowered his weight onto you, his arms quivering. With a sense of finality, you looped your arms over his shoulders and held him there where he belonged.
Time felt unreal, like you were watching it pass but not experiencing it, as you held each other until both of your heart rates returned to normal. It definitely passed, however, because when Joel let out a snore, you flinched, gripped by the distinct sensation of having just been yanked from the edge of sleep.
At your movement, Joel woke with a snort. “Mm?” He peeled his torso up from yours. Your eyes met, and his face softened.
But it wasn’t the only thing. His cock slipped out of you with a gush of wetness, and you grimaced.
Joel’s expression mirrored yours. “Sorry,” he muttered. He started to move, but you stopped him.
“What did I say?” You kept a light grip on his upper arms, but resisted the urge to squeeze. “Don’t apologize. I wanted it.” You let your gaze wander down his body.
His mouth was tilted higher on one side when you met his eyes again. Joel leaned down, his nose brushing yours, and then his mouth. Despite everything that you’d just done, his soft kiss made your heart flutter.
“Go on, squeeze.” His voice was low against your lips. “I know you want to.”
Shock lanced through your post-coital bubble. “Wh- you-”
Joel flexed his biceps beneath your hands. A sudden certainty filled you that they would feel so perfect, there was no reason to resist-
You squeezed, and honestly, you were right. Firm muscle filled your palms perfectly; feeling his strength so directly was thrillingly hot.
Joel was grinning.
“...Did you just use your powers on me?” you demanded.
Joel chuckled wickedly, dropping a kiss to your cheek as he rolled off you. “Can I apologize now? I’m sorry, honey, I was still tuned into you and I couldn’t resist. I’m not listening now.” He lifted his hands in surrender.
You scoffed, though the effect was undone by your blatant enjoyment of the sight of Joel sitting naked in your bed.
“I think you should do your hair like that all the time,” you said. Joel’s silver-gray locks were thoroughly tousled and sticking up in odd patches; a smile burgeoned at the memory of shamelessly burying your hands in them. You sat up and reached out to twirl a silvery swoop around your finger.
“Hmm.” Joel patted at his head carelessly. “Only if you help me get it this way every time.” Your eyes locked, and the meaningful glint in their burnished depths made your face heat.
You cleared your throat, conceding. “I’m gonna go…clean up.”
Upon his own return from the bathroom, Joel lingered in your doorway. “You want me to…”
“Get in here, Joel.”
He bent to pick up his boxers before getting into bed, but something about the shape of your body under the blanket gave him pause. “Are you..?”
You lifted a brow.
He dropped the boxers.
Joel slid his bare body against yours with a pleased little hum. A kiss landed on your shoulder. “Roll over,” he said gruffly.
You obeyed, a smile pulling at your mouth. Joel tugged your back flush against his front and draped his arm over your waist. “Sleep tight, kitten.”
“Good night, Joel.”
You listened to his breathing slow into a deep, even rhythm. Every so often a light snore escaped him. Lulled by the sound, by his warmth surrounding you, it didn’t take long for sleep to take you.
--
When you woke, it took you a minute to remember why you were naked. Then a light snore issued from behind you, you registered the heat and tacky press of another body against your back, and you relaxed.
Joel had rolled onto his back in the night. In the pale morning light, his features utterly relaxed, he looked younger. Like a glimpse of his former human self.
God, you hoped your plan would work. It could hardly even be called a plan, more like a precisely worded wish and a prayer. But you’d thought yourself in circles over it, and while you were sure the theory was sound, it wasn't going to develop any further without demonic insight.
A brisk morning breeze snaked in from the open window. You shivered and burrowed back down, closer to Joel. He emitted a scratchy, rumbling sound.
Then two strong arms were wrapping around you, pulling you flush against his bare chest, and you squeaked.
His next rumble sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “Kitten.” Joel’s rasp was thick with sleep. His eyes cracked open, hazy as a distant sunrise.
“Joel,” you answered. You lowered your head to his shoulder.
For some reason, you were incredibly, blisteringly conscious of your mutual nudity. Joel seemed to think nothing of it, and you responded instinctively to his hold: slinging an arm across his chest and a leg over his. But as the morning light steadily brightened, and all the memories from the night before cascaded through your head, you felt yourself growing warmer.
Joel made a sound like a creaky engine revving itself up. “I can still hear you, you know. Something you want, kitten?” The hands holding you started to wander, stroking slowly up and down your back.
“No!” you protested. “I mean, I wasn’t trying to…send you a message. I was just..remembering.” And with that, you suddenly remembered something he’d said, and you propped yourself up to look at him. “Last night, you said something.”
Joel arched an eyebrow. “Said a lot of things last night.” His drawl was deliciously low and gravelly.
Heat filled your cheeks, but you fought past it. “You said, ‘If you’re damning me’.” You waited a beat. “What did you mean?”
Joel’s eyes closed. He took a deep, slow breath. “Didn’t mean nothing specific. Just…what I worry might happen. Shouldn’t have made a joke out of it.”
“You’re worried that I’ll…end up in hell? Because of- this? Us?”
Joel looked at you somberly. “Not sure there’s ever been a situation like this before, kitten. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, only that I don’t want you to end up like me.”
You summoned up some courage. “Well…I kind of have an idea. I don’t know if it will work, but…maybe we can talk about it after breakfast?”
Joel nodded. Gentle pressure to your back brought you parallel again, and an even gentler hand on your chin brought your lips to his. Joel’s kiss was equal parts reassurance and heat, and you let yourself smolder under his touch.
A sound somewhere between a gurgle and a shriek emitted from your stomach, popping the tension that had begun to build and startling both of you. You giggled.
Joel’s eyes creased at the corners. “Good thing that diner’s close, huh?”
“Do you mind if I shower first? You can too, if you want.” You sat on the edge of the bed, rolling your joints and generally waking yourself up.
Silence. When you looked back at him, you found Joel’s attention occupied by your still-naked body, eyes citrine and glimmering, like he was following imaginary trickles of steaming water.
When Joel noticed you’d caught him staring, he flushed, clearing his throat. “Sure, sounds good.”
--
Eventually, both of you clean and hungry, you made it to the diner. Joel barely glanced at the menu. “The Hungry Man Special, plus a side of pancakes.” He smiled pleasantly at the waitress.
You raised an eyebrow at him.
“What? Worked up an appetite.” A teasing glint flashed in those otherworldly eyes, like lightning caught in amber.
The pancakes and sausages fortified you, and it was with a deeply satisfied sigh that you pushed your plate away. Joel was in a similar state; you both gratefully accepted coffee refills from the waitress.
Joel spread out on his side of the booth, leaning back with a hint of the same languid nonchalance that had surrounded him during your first date at Ruby’s. Seeing it now- seeing through it now- made you smile in spite of yourself.
When he opened his eyes again, wary confusion filled Joel’s face. “What?” he said gruffly.
Your silly smile infected him regardless, his expression gradually mirroring yours, and eventually you couldn’t contain your giggles.
Your shared mirth faded at the same moment, weighed down as you were by the same concern.
Joel rested his gilded stare on you. “So,” he said. “Your idea.”
You swallowed hard. “Right.” And you told him. Your entirely conjectural plan based on ideas of soul ownership, contract wording, and human magic limitations.
You spoke in low tones, your coffee cooling slowly. Joel made only the occasional terse interruption.
When you finished, Joel’s eyes were spinning wheels, trundling away to produce the golden threads of a coherent solution. He muttered to himself as he chewed over your proposal, lifting and lowering his mug several times without actually drinking from it. You thought you caught a name repeated amongst his mumbled thoughts, but couldn’t be sure.
When he finally surfaced, slowly, gradually, his face was fully of a terrible hope.
“Kitten,” he said. “That…just might work.”
Hope unraveled inside you, sudden and light. A laugh of relief gasped out of you. Full of something you hadn’t let yourself imagine before this moment, you reached across the table for Joel’s hand, and he held it tight.
--
You didn’t quite have the courage to reach for Joel’s hand again on the walk back to your place. Neither of you spoke much, too full of breakfast and revelations to have anything else to say. An underlying tension accompanied you like a third person shouldering their way in.
Your house was in view when Joel cleared his throat. “Kitten,” he started. “Before we go any further with this…I think there’s someone you should meet.”
His words were like a cannonball through the paper scaffolding that was your imagined outline of the imminent future. If there had been anything- one single thing- that you had not imagined coming up along the way, it was that Joel would want to bring a friend.
“...Who?”
“Friend of mine. Probably the only person from down there that I trust.” Joel’s eyes were a yellow as pale as clay, but remained steady on yours. “I already talked to her about this some. Everything I have to bring to this…she heard first.”
His eyes widened with sudden panic. “Not because you’re her replacement or anything! Our relationship isn’t…it’s not romantic, like- uh, us-” Joel’s shoulders slumped. “Fuck.”
Several emotions jangled for attention in your chest, some of them very pleasant indeed. You allowed the barest sympathetic quirk of a brow.
“We do have…a relationship, of sorts. It’s not romantic- it can’t be, down there. But we…she’s the only thing’s kept me alive, some days.”
He looked up, pleading for you to understand.
“You talked to her about…your feelings, or our problem?”
“Our problem.”
Joel didn’t seem like the type to trust easily. If this person meant as much to him as he claimed- was the only reason he’d kept going…well, then you could trust her, too.
“Okay,” you said.
“...Okay?”
“I’ll meet her. If you think she should be here for this.”
Relief flooded Joel’s features, turning his eyes honey-warm again. On the stoop of your house, his hand lifted, hovered- hesitated near your face. Before he could withdraw, your own hand darted up to grab his. You pressed an impulsive kiss to Joel’s palm.
He huffed, his eyes crinkling.
Inside, Joel began patting his pockets. “Right, uh…” With a snap of his fingers, a shirt appeared, which he caught and reached into the breast pocket of. A sheet of paper crinkled as he unfolded it.
“You got any salt?”
--
A bespoke summoning ritual, according to Joel, still required a salt circle.
“She wrote her own summoning ritual?” you asked skeptically.
“Why not? It’s easier than having to dig up some dusty old book for some shit that’s probably wrong, over-complicated, and in Latin. She wrote it in code, so only I can read it.” Joel remained focused where he was drawing runes on your floor with a glittery blue paint pen left over from a craft project.
He shuffled back from the circle, squinting critically. “That oughta do it.” Joel turned his head. “You ready?”
You met his golden gaze. You nodded.
Joel lifted a hand, palm out, to the circle. He spoke in a strange tongue that you’d never heard. It sounded like the same few sentences repeated, with minor differences each time. Guess demons don’t use Latin after all.
Thick white smoke began to fill the circle. It billowed and roiled in on itself, filling but seemingly unable to leave a roughly dome-shaped area. In the center of the opaque cloud, a dark silhouette appeared.
A tall, feminine-shaped silhouette. You darted a glance at Joel. He was watching the smoke tensely, lines around his eyes.
As the smoke began to thin, the figure turned in a slow circle. Ash-brown hair fell in a thick, straight length down her back. She was dressed practically, not unlike Joel: a flannel with a curling collar, worn jeans, thick-treaded boots. Cool blue eyes surveyed the scene before her.
You observed her warily. Just like Joel, she appeared to be a normal human but for the unnatural luminosity of her eyes; their icy blue brilliance raised the hair on the back of your neck.
She gave you only a brief onceover before turning to Joel. He straightened, lifting his chin.
“Joel,” she said.
“Tess,” he answered.
Tess. That was the name you’d heard amongst his mumbling at the diner.
“What’s going on?” Her voice was pleasantly deep and guileless. She seemed perfectly comfortable standing in the confines of a circle of salt and runes.
Joel stepped forward. “We need your help. It’s about…what we talked about before.” He cast you a furtive glance.
She nodded, slow and steady. You held the longer look she gave you this time, and wondered what she saw.
Tess was smirking slightly when she looked back at Joel. “You gonna introduce us?”
Some of your nerves receded. Not Joel’s, though, as he seemed..flustered, in a way you’d never seen.
Joel introduced you. “Kitten, this is Tess.”
“Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand, but, ah..” Tess looked pointedly between Joel and the circle at her feet. Her brow furrowed as she did a double take at the glittering runes.
“Shit, sorry.” Joel hurried to his knees and scrubbed away a section of the writing. Salt grains scattered. Shimmery blue paint smeared over your floor, and a part of you that still worried about normal human things hoped that wouldn’t stain.
Joel rose and held out a hand to Tess. She took it, and stepped neatly out of the circle.
“Well!” Tess rubbed her hands together in anticipation. “Let’s get cracking, kids.”
--
A sweet tea sat in front of Tess. A coffee mug in front of Joel. At your small round dining table, you laid out all the details. Or rather, Tess laid out the details onto your and Joel’s skeleton of a plan. She seemed to think of everything, and only needed to start half her sentences before Joel finished them, his pencil moving rapidly as he jotted down notes. Icy blue and sunshine yellow eyes clashed like an autumn day.
At some point, Joel’s coffee made its reappearance. You sat in silence while he was in the bathroom, your hands wrapped around your mug despite it no longer holding much warmth.
“So,” you said. “You’ve known Joel a long time.”
Electric-blue eyes flashed to yours. It was unnerving, the instant, intense attention.
“Twenty years,” Tess replied. Her eyes went distant, memories flitting across them.
“Oh,” you said with some surprise. “So you were…together, down there, the whole time?”
“Together?” Tess’s eyebrows rose briefly. “Nah, not the whole time. Took awhile for Joel to come around. Eventually, he realized that I was right about us being a good team.” Her mouth quirked, equal parts soft and smug.
An agitation you couldn’t quite pinpoint the source of flickered in your chest. “So…what’s in it for you in this situation? You’re losing something, not gaining anything.” You gestured in the direction Joel had left.
Tess smirked slightly. “Nah, I’m not losing him. I’m just…moving him upstairs.”
You held her gaze and waited.
Gradually, all traces of amusement faded from her expression, leaving only a stark sobriety. “Yeah, alright. I’ll be losing him. But this is a real chance Joel has here. A real chance you’re giving him. I owe it to him not to let him waste it. Joel…” She shook her head. “Without him, I’d be dead ten times over.”
“That’s funny,” you murmured. “He said the same thing about you.”
Tess stared down at wood grain of the table as if she could read the future in its lines and whorls.
Tess stared down at wood grain of the table as if its lines and whorls could tell her that this would turn out okay.
Joel’s heavy tread in the hall preceded his return. Tess cleared her throat loudly. “Well, I think we’ve more or less got this all worked out. Let’s write it up and then you can seal the deal.”
--
A familiar bottle of whiskey stood on your dining table. Beside it lay a sheet of parchment covered in slanted writing- though not as much as you’d expected, given that you were bargaining away your soul.
That was the price for owning Joel’s soul. Kind of ironic, in your opinion, that to own another soul you had to first give up your own, but it didn’t really matter in this case- this would be a quick and easy soul-for-soul swap, and then you’d swap back, and all would be well.
That was Tess’s theory, anyway.
Joel wasn’t thrilled about all the theoreticals, or the fact that you, as a non-magical human, would be most at risk if things backfired, but Tess had done her best to reassure him. “Remember when I said I’d ask around? Well, I couldn’t get too specific or someone would have connected the dots, but this is what I was looking into. I wouldn’t back this if I didn’t think it would work.”
Blue eyes held gold for a long moment, before Joel’s gaze slid back to you. You met it with the same steadfastness. This was your idea, and you were committed to it.
“Right, so: you sign the contract, you get Joel’s soul, Joel gets your soul, you fight off the darkness that will try to possess you, and the magic takes care of the rest. Piece of cake.” Tess lifted her brows at you in question.
“Piece of cake,” you agreed. You wiped sweaty palms on your thighs. The closer the moment came, the more your nerves mounted, but you kept them at bay by focusing your thoughts on specifics: the will it would take to hold Joel’s soul for the brief moment you’d be able; how to resist the darkness until your soul was returned; the reminder that Joel would be right there the entire time.
That last bit was doing most of the work, if you were being honest.
“Do you want me stay while it goes down?” Tess asked Joel.
He was silent for a moment. “No,” Joel said at last. “If something goes wrong, I don’t want you having to deal with the consequences.”
She nodded. “This is goodbye, then.”
“Tess-” Joel’s voice cracked. His arms quivered with tension, as if he was holding himself back from reaching for her.
Saving Joel from himself, Tess pulled him into a fierce embrace. You turned away.
“Not forever, Miller. I’m only a salt circle away.” She smiled wetly. “I’ll come and haunt you sometime. Tempt you into a shit bargain, force you to keep me company.”
The choked sound Joel made could have been a laugh. Tess placed her hands on either side of Joel’s head and tilted it down until her lips met his forehead. Their eyes still locked, she stepped away from him. He swallowed hard and nodded.
Tess looked at you then, and gave you a nod. You returned it.
And then she left.
The front door closed behind her. Joel sniffed noisily, heaving in a deep, shuddery breath. It was a surprise when he touched you, turning you gently by the shoulders to face him.
His eyes were red-rimmed. His hand lifted, and this time he didn’t hesitate to rest his palm on your cheek, thumb stroking lightly.
“You ready, kitten?” His voice was rough, but certain.
You lifted your chin, and Joel met you halfway. What you felt for him wasn’t love- it couldn’t be, not yet- but it was strong and sure, and you poured it into your kiss along with all of your courage.
Eventually he pulled back. You stared into his eyes, glimmering like gemstones, like fish scales. Golden like the color of a hundred beautiful things, and probably thousands more you couldn’t name. Your thoughts shifted and spiraled around those eyes like a planet around a sun, until one of his eyebrows quirked.
“Need you focused for this, kitten,” Joel said. “What’s goin’ on in that pretty little head?”
Joel’s teasing tone was all the help you needed to refocus. You scoffed even as your face heated furiously. “I am focused,” you retorted. “Now, where’s the pen?”
--
Standing in your living room, about to sign a contract with a demon for a soul swap during which you’d have to fight off a possessing darkness, you felt an insane urge to giggle. The pen trembled in your hand.
Joel reached for it. “Hey. I’ll be right here the entire time, okay?”
The warmth of his touch was grounding, and you breathed in.
You signed.
The effect was immediate.
A hollow, sucking void opened inside you. You gasped, clawing at your chest, but there was nothing there. Your breath came fast and shallow, hysteria nearly making you laugh again. There was nothing there- that was the point! Your soul was being siphoned away, and there was nothing you could do about it. Darkness would fill you up, take you over-
A hand clamped down on your shoulder. The force of the grip startled you, made you look up- Joel.
“Fight it, kitten!” It sounded as if he was shouting from a long way away. But his golden eyes were as intense and captivating as ever. Were they glowing?
No, the source of light was something else- something cradled protectively in his other arm, held close to his heart. A formless glow, as bright as his eyes, shimmering and wavering and…familiar.
Your soul. That was your soul that Joel held with such care. Both your physical and metaphysical forms tight within his grasp.
His eyes widened then, and a second later you realized why. Something bright and sizzling was taking shape in your arms. It roiled and heaved, as willful as its owner, and you gritted your teeth and dug your figurative fingers in, keeping Joel’s soul in your arms until it was all there, the most blindingly beautiful thing you’d ever seen.
It was hot. It pulsed like a heartbeat, steady and true, and with its presence you were reminded of all the reasons you wouldn’t be letting darkness consume you, thank you very much. You shoved the encroaching presence back, imagining a shrieking, crackling sound like a vampire before the sun.
Joel’s grip was still tight on your shoulder. His face warm and encouraging. He nodded down to the slippery thing in your arms.
Slippery, because you were never meant to be able to hold onto another’s soul. It strained against your grasp, pushing against your feeble hold in its yearning to be reunited with its rightful body.
You released it, and the golden glow surged straight for Joel. He staggered back, and it was your turn to hold onto him as he fell to his knees, shoulders curving inward. You gripped his arms tightly as he trembled, but his hold on your soul never wavered, his arms curled against his chest.
“Joel!”
Joel looked up, his chest heaving, tear tracks leaving shining lines down his face. He pulled himself upright. He looked down at the shimmering light in his hands- and released it.
His hands opened, and the glow leaped toward you and was sucked in. There really was a scream then, a sound of fury and pain from inside your head, and then warmth was racing through every crevice of your being, burning the darkness away. You gasped deeply, stunned at how light and alive you felt, like you could leap into the sky and race the birds across the clouds.
You looked at Joel.
Joel looked at you.
Stillness settled around you, within you, as the storm of your bargain quieted.
But then- one last lightning bolt of shock. The eldritch glow in Joel’s eyes faded, and the gold darkened to a perfectly human brown.
Your lips remained parted. You scoured his face, searching for any other changes, for any sign that he was not who he should be.
Very slowly, Joel brought one hand to his chest, rubbing firmly, as if something unfamiliar was lodged behind his sternum.
“Joel,” you whispered. “Your eyes.”
Realization sparked in his face. Joel scrambled up and staggered toward the bathroom.
You caught up a moment later to find him staring at himself in the mirror. His fingers brushed the skin around his eyes, wide with disbelief.
He turned to you. “Kitten,” Joel said. His hand found his chest again, still rubbing. “It’s back. I’m…I’m me again. It fuckin’ worked.” He surged into you, gasping out a sound that might have been a laugh or a sob.
You held him tightly, but evidently he had the same energy running under his skin as you, because a moment later he disengaged, and then Joel’s mouth was on yours. His kiss muffled your sound of surprise. You tasted salt and smoke and whiskey, but most of all you tasted Joel, as he kissed you and kissed you until your lungs threatened to give out.
You gasped for air when you were finally free. When he was momentarily sated, resting his forehead against yours, you said: “So…what now?”
“You tell me, kitten.” Joel’s grin was so wide that the creases around his eyes and mouth nearly met. “I can’t tell what you want anymore. No demon, no powers.”
You stared. If you’d thought Joel was beautiful before, it was nothing compared to him now- buoyant and full of life in a way you hadn’t ever realized he was lacking. Joy filled his newly brown eyes and stayed, shining as warmly as the gold ever did.
Your mouth began to turn up. Your body was still humming with the effects of his kiss and your soul, and you couldn’t help the way your gaze flickered toward the bedroom, inches away. “I’ll have to tell you what I want from now on.”
Joel caught on immediately. “Mmhm.” He angled his head in a way that made your blood simmer.
“Since you won’t be able to.”
His eyes- beautifully human but still eloquently expressive- narrowed. “Not yet,” he corrected. “But I’m a quick learner.” His hands reached your back, splaying hot and meaningful over your skin.
You grinned. “Lesson number one,” you began.
---
Thanks for reading! ❤️❤️❤️
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