1. a colour intermediate between red and blue.

multi-muse indie oc. | selective. | written & drawn by kii. | muse page

[foolshcme]

"I was not a willing participant to that kiss. It tasted like bad fucking pennies. If I got a fucking disease from it, I would have killed you a million times over, you nasty mother fucker--" LET THE RECORD BE CLEAR.

"I'll kill you right now."

[bclasaeg]

// " Don't be melodramatic. You're pretty robust, ya won't get a disease. The kiss sucked for me too, you suck at it. "

Tori slumps down on the couch, letting a yawn lose as they dig out a crumb from their ear. " I like to see you try pretty boy. "

[foolshcme]

"I mean--ugh. Don't get me cancelled. Here. We'll g!ogle it." He's pulling out his phone. "Asexual: someone who experiences little or no sexual attraction to others. That's exactly what you described. Not that you need the title, but that is what I thought of when you explained it."

"--I dunno. I think I'd get hard eating pork belly if I was given the chance." Louis tried to joke. "I mean, isn't there something more visceral about eating people? Knowing they're a similar shape and thinking as you?"

"--AND WHO THE FUCK SAID I WANTED TO FUCK YOU. NO ONE."

[bclasaeg]

// " Yeah, yeah whatever. Is there a term where I don't particularly like to fuck my food or get fucked by my food? I'm probably that. I mean I can love and stuff, kissing is whatever- but..."

Tori raised their brows. " And don't tell me you don't find me incredibly sexy. I knew it from the first time we kissed. It was magical. "

[foolshcme]

"Different kinda pressure." Louis did laugh though. Dumb bastard did get a giggle outta him with that bullshit. "It feels good, and I don't even have prostate. Can't say I've ever equated it to a dump."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, they're there somewhere. Sometimes my partners peg me, so I keep 'em around. As for my dick, it was bigger. I had to get it debulked actually because it was cumbersome for me and definitely would have been too thick for the average partner. That's pretty common for my type of phalloplasty. Beyond sex, aesthetically I didn't want MONSTROUS. I wanted to look nice in pants and fit comfortably in pants. Also I don't shrink like some guys so, that's just my 24/7 size. So, I mean, if thinking about every day, I am still pretty big."

"...--why are you askin' me all this? Aren't you ace?"

[bclasaeg]

// " What? Just because I got a low sex drive I've got a funky title? I mean, Ota loved humans, and especially loved the activities they do so I just went with whatever he wanted. But it's not an activity I crave. "

" When you eat bodies every day, it's kinda had to get horny. I mean, I'm sure you don't get full mast when you see a cow right. "

Tori will suddenly pause then clutch their arms and shrink away.

" I know ya wanna fuck me but like I'm not ready. "

[foolshcme]

"...thank you. I'll keep that in mind when I'm ready for major reconstructive surgery to suck my own dick. Werid ass."

"--this is kinda like those guys that stick their own dicks up their ass, huh? Like. 'You gotta try it' BUT YOU REALLY FUCKING DONT."

"...though, I guess when I was still wearing a strap-on...sometimes I would have my own dick up my ass...so I can't really judge them...hm--but I still think its a different sensation when its your own with nerves and shit. I stand by my point."

[bclasaeg]

// " Ya dick gotta be big enough to consider that. You need it like at least 12 inches or more right? Otherwise it's not even gonna touch your hole. Not sure why you want a dick up your ass, just feels like taking a shit but it's going in and out. "

" Question- do you still keep your old strap ons? And why didn't you go for like- the MAXIMUM dick size when you went for your surgery? Or did your doctor just go, yep this is THE size. "

[foolshcme]

"Because WHY would I want to suck my OWN dick beyond the first time for curiosity sake. It 100% gotta feel different. Like how handjobs feel better from someone else."

[bclasaeg]

// " Oh so you have thought of it, good then it makes it easier for me to explain to you that I've bent like corpses in half, and honestly just one rib is enough, so you won't have to get rid of a lot. "

" And what if you're REALLY craving a blowjob you know? "

Tori has no genitals.

[foolshcme]

"What the hell are you ON right now?"

[bclasaeg]

// " No like, if you THINK about it. if you remove your ribs, why on earth would you need to find someone else to suck your dick? "

[bclasaeg]

@nvrcmplt

... "You said you had a stomach ache." He wasn't sure as to why, they cooked their meats well, washed the vegetables thrice over, even the surfaces were scorched by his flammable bladder to rid of all potential harms but still, his mate got ill in their abode? It didn't sit right and within such a feeling, bestial mind takes over. Ueda - never - let him lick their wounds. Maybe a cut was infected? Maybe they needed healing from the inside out? They kiss only so many times and Luit could only demand so much before Ueda gets mad at him so... Licking the salad... was the best way to make his lover eat his saliva, that would help him tremendously from the inside out...!! Just, Ueda's nose was too good. He could only furrow his brow in disappointment of being caught. "It won't hurt you, never. Please - eat it all?" His mind will be at rest if some of his fluid got into that body that seemed to be so against being healthy here.

// Being a master of herbs himself, Ueda always knows precisely the remedy for each aliment, even for certain animals. All it took was finding the right medicine and Ueda was right as rain. Still, it didn't matter, sometimes fevers happened at random, a tummy ache from eating the wrong type of mushroom or some kind of bug juice, spore or parasite wormed its way into the meal.

Upon the first rejection of saliva (it felt like he was taking advantage of Luit!), he thought it would be the end of it. Then he realized the pattern, where the suddenly hour long make out session was not pure romance or fulfilling a need, but rather to stuff as much saliva into his body. Luit made the mistake of choking him with his rather long tongue one time and it all clicked.

So there he was, bowl nearing the sink when Luit just had to give him those puppy eyes, even switching to human form so he could display the learnt action of fidgeting to get what he wanted.

He licked every leaf and tomato didn't he? The mineral-ness is distinct, Ueda always distilled his water because he didn't like the flavor of the rivers.

With a sigh. he turns away from Luit, and douses the meal with oil and vinegar. This way at least he can't taste it...

[foolshcme]

"You sure know how to woo a man." Nellie released a long, haggard sigh--hoping that would be enough to hint at the brat that he didn't wish to flirt with him. He was what? 20? 23? A fetus compared to him. "Try bourbon the next time." Or a dessert, jesus, did the kid observe nothing?

"Do you actually have a reason for being here or?"

[bclasaeg]

// "What more reason do I need other than seeing you? " He flashed him a dimpled smile. In truth he did have some things to settle, but it was far more fun to let Nellie have the impression he was loafing about.

" It's nearly dinner is it not? Go out with me. I'll even pay even though my measly salary is probably lower than yours. That's how sincere I am. "

[bclasaeg]

// Omma, did you know that crows can hold grudges for up to 17 years? So we have to be nice to them.

Kianna smiled at the memory from the morning, it's no surprise why it popped in now. Prim and lotioned like a vain bird, if he straightened his hair, she had no doubt he'd more resemble one. No wonder she always had the urge to hold him in place, under her claw like a cat.

"You're hard to get a hold of. We still haven't settled your bill. " She doesn't get up from her seat, instead bites into one of the sliced fruits on the table.

@foolshcme

[foolshcme]

@bclasaeg

What an annoying ass kid.

Out of annoyance, the flowers left on his desk were tossed in the trash, a low grumble leaving his mouth when he didn't want to bother with the words themselves after a long day. Putting a bouquet with his damn reports--why was that brat even near his desk? He had a secretary too, after all.

His hands were placed in his pocket after, making his way down town. He needed to think about dinner...--he wasn't sure he really wanted dinner with how his jaw was feeling. Which reminded him that his shoulders ached. He needed a massage. Did massages even work. He needed to do research on the validity of them before he even bothered to pay--

[bclasaeg]

// Cloyingly sweet, with a hint of sarcasm, Skip spoke near Nellie's ear, his hands softly massaging those shoulders from behind.

" Hii~, did you like my flowers? They were 50% off at the gas station so I thought of you. I figured it might put a smile on that grumpy face of yours when you're about to read these dreadfully boring reports. "

How he snuck in, well that was for Nellie to reprimand his own secretary about.

[venmour]

         micael  huffs  out  a  quiet  laugh,  swirling  the  whiskey  in  his  glass  before  taking  a  slow  sip.  ❛ if  i  didn't  want  to  hear  about  it,  i  wouldn't  have  asked. ❜  his  gaze  flicks  briefly  to  the  phone  in  nikki's  hand  before  settling  back  on  him.  ❛ besides,  you've  been  staring  at  that  thing  all  night  like  it'll  suddenly  grow  a  conscience  and  text  you  back.  dios  mío,  it's  almost  painful  to  watch. ❜  the  corner  of  his  mouth  tugs  upward,  more  amused  than  judgmental.  ❛ same  old  or  not,  it's  clearly  still  bothering  you.  so  go  on,  get  it  out  of  your  system. ❜   in  the  meantime,  he'll  order  more  drinks,  something  was telling  him  that  it  was going to be  a  long  night  today.

[bclasaeg]

// The tragedy of an essential stranger caring more than his own wife for his mood was so upsetting that Nikki could only laugh at the absurdity.

" I've got a kid, did I ever tell ya? She's not mine, but I love her to bits. It's her elementary school graduation coming up but she's not answering me if she's going to be at the function or not. " He quietly slips the phone back into his pocket, making a conscious effort to smoothen his eyebrows.

" I guess I'm no better. I'm out here drinkin' while she's asleep at home with her nanny. "

[bclasaeg]

Alicia Rosier | Ditto Drabbles Chronicle

this is a digest of alicia backstory here. his full bio in my doc!

Ditto (1) -

The clock ticks painfully slow, barely illuminated by the sleepy afternoon sun. Alicia feels the breeze occasionally sweep his pages from where the window was open, and he barely focuses on the class. The teacher was droning on about something he could teach himself at home anyway.

And finally, when the dismissal chime triggers the flurry of packing up, the hurried voice of the adult speeding through his thought to a waning audience, Alicia was already packing.

Yes, the only time of the day he looked forward to. He pushes to be first out the door, weaving his way to the career offices. His pulse flutters the closer he gets to his destination. He pauses, adjusts his poorly tucked shirt and knocks.

"Come in."

An approval that makes him smile. Her voice is warm in a way he never hears to others. The person who understood him the most, packaged in colour that suited her today. "Ciel. I'm glad you're here." She smiled. Ditto. "Come on." She says, motioning closer with the subtle flick of her hand. "I've got a lot to tell you today. You look tired, long day?" He steps inside without thinking and closes the door behind him the way she likes it.

Ditto. I missed you too.

"I kept thinking of your story from yesterday, I've been waiting to hear what happened next. I bought you coffee, the way you like it." He beams, she remembers everything he tells her. The way her eyes soften when he excitedly sits down makes his stomach fold.

"Stay longer this time yeah? I don't think I can take another cliff-hanger. I like it when you talk."

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. He swallows and nods, his mouth pulling up into a shy, uncertain smile when she laughs.

"That's my good boy."

Ditto (2) -

In the distance, the almost military sounding calls of the baseball team as they jogged around the track filled the quiet spaces in this room, tucked away at the end of the corridor. It fit two people, a cozy office; enough when one sat close, every feature on their partner's face was visible, down to every eyelash.

"Miss... you asked me what I wanted to do after school is done... and I think I already know." Alicia had made it his project for the last fifteen to flip up the rim of the paper cup holding his coffee, leaving it an ugly, wrinkled mess.

Who could blame him, he was nervous!

"Do you?" She replies, amused, slightly leaning over the table. "I hope you'll finally fill out the career form then, let's just go over it now-"

"I want to live with you!" He blurts, unable to stand the idea of a sheet of paper capturing her attention. Her hand freezes in the air and he fears that he might have blown it.

"Did you tell anyone else about this idea?" She tilts her head. "It's a very big decision."

"No, no... I didn't tell anyone else." Alicia reassures her. She doesn't reply right away, instead she seemed to be studying him with a seriousness that makes his stomach dip.

Finally she sighs. "You put me in a difficult position Ciel, did you know that?"

His fingers curl around the ruined cup, he didn't mean to make her life difficult! Alicia quickly shakes his head.

"I know you didn't." She slowly smiles, softening up to him. "That's the problem, you don't always see how much weight your words carry."

Alicia lowers his gaze, already rehearsing an apology, but she leans close and her voice drops as if to protect him from any listening ear to his wrongdoing.

"I worry about you, you get attached easily... if someone misunderstood you, they might take advantage of that, you understand?" He nods, grateful that she's explaining to him so carefully.

“That’s why you came to me, ” she continues. “Because you trust me to look out for you when you can’t.”

Yes. That sounds right. That feels right. She smiles not bright, not amused but relieved, like something has settled into place.

“So we’re going to be very careful, okay?” He nods again, obedient, eager. “I’ll help you think through your future,” she says. “I’ll make sure you don’t make a mistake you can’t undo.”

Her hand comes to rest on the table between them, palm open. Not touching him.

Waiting.

“You don’t need anyone else for this,” she adds gently. “Too many voices would only confuse you.” He places his cup down without realizing it, freeing his hands. He doesn’t question why.

“That’s my responsibility,” she finishes. “And I take it seriously.” The certainty in her voice steadies him completely. The tight feeling in his chest eases, replaced by something warm and safe. She nods, satisfied, as if he’s given the correct answer.

“Good,” she says. “Then we’ll keep this just between us.” Outside, the chanting fades as the team finishes their laps.

The corridor empties. The school moves on without him. Alicia doesn’t notice. He only feels grateful that someone is willing to carry the heavy parts for him.

Ditto (3) -

The street lamps revealed soft flakes of snow as they gathered in piles along the street. Alicia held a bundle of flowers, bought with his precious part-timer money.

They were not cheap, as her favourites were out of season. She had been flaky recently, ever since his birthday, but he couldn't blame her. The winter holidays would end soon and it brought forth the busiest time of year for the career offices, as students like him entered into a new stage of life.

Although seeing her was a sincere desire on his part… there was that small hope she would invite him to stay in again. Like last time. It had been a little scary- rushed, even painful at one point. Alicia had asked her if it was the best time, but she’d seemed in a hurry…

Oh.

Was she shy? Was that why she didn't invite him again?

He did everything she asked. She seemed happy at the end of it. He fantasized about it after, he was a healthy teenager. Would she let him call her by her first name? Maybe even a pet name? Like he had seen couples do.

Alicia rang the bell and waited, but she didn't open the door like last time. "Ciel?" She spoke from the intercom.

"Miss- I... it's been a while! I just wanted to come see you tonight." Said just like he practiced.

"Ciel... you can't come to my place like this." His heart sank.

"O-Oh... I... I just... I haven't heard from you in a week. I just wanted to check you're okay."

"I'm alright." Short and curt. In a tone he had never heard before.

"Uhm... I brought you flowers, you like these... I thought maybe I did something wrong. If I did, I can fix it, you always said I listen well."

Silence. The snow starts piling on a little harder, he shifts his grip on the flowers, not realizing at first he was bruising the stems with the way he was holding them.

“You shouldn’t be here,” she says finally, measured, careful. The warmth he remembers is gone, filed down into something official. “This isn’t appropriate.”

The word appropriate lodges in his chest, sharp and unfamiliar.

"I'm eighteen now." He says quickly. "I thought , I mean... you said once that things will be easier once I'm older."

Another pause. It's much longer this time.

"That was a misunderstanding." She replies. "And that is why I think it's best we keep our distance."

"I didn't tell anyone!" He blurts out. "Like you asked- no one knows! I’m not trying to get you in trouble,” he rushes. “I swear. I just wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you were still...”

Still what? There, for him? Waiting?

“I need you to listen to me very carefully,” she says, voice low and firm now. “This can’t happen again. You coming here. The gifts. The expectations.”

Expectations.

He hadn’t thought of them as expectations. Just hopes. Just things that felt natural after everything she’d shared, after how often she’d told him he was special, that he understood her better than most adults did.

“I think you should talk to someone your own age,” she continues. “Someone appropriate. I was only ever trying to help you.”

Only ever. The words rearrange everything all at once, like furniture shoved against the walls.

His stomach twists. He says, almost pleading. “You said I mattered. You said-”

“Alicia, I’m asking you to leave,” she interrupts. “Now.”

The intercom clicks softly, decisively. The street goes very quiet. Alicia stands there for a long moment, staring at the metal box like it might change its mind. Like she might come back on and soften, apologize, explain that she’s just overwhelmed.

She doesn’t.

Eventually, his fingers go numb. He lowers the flowers to the ground beside the gate, arranging them the way she likes, stems straight, colours balanced. Maybe she would come outside and see it... maybe she'll change her mind tomorrow.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, though no one is listening. He turns away before the cold can make his eyes water. Behind him, the lights in her apartment remain on.

She never looks out the window.

[nvrcmplt]

Excitement in the air, as cleaning their eating table was left to him, he wiped the surfaces down, swept the floor of bread crumbs and burned the trash near the outlet. Another call from Ueda's kitchen knowledge, though it was a good cave - smoke really bothered his lover so it was easier to burn things outside their abode. The pit was almost full of ash too, but it wasn't stuff to be thrown out. No, Ueda used it sometimes for things so it was collected and stored in dry places. Alongside their endless supply of charcoal and coal.

After finishing his part of the chores, he watched over Ueda, listening to him speak of such a place was a delight. A venture from their den would be a nice outing. "I'll call upon you when I need it, but it may be sooner if the city is out destination. They must have many weavers that will aid in comfort of a nest making." Tails were swaying at the idea, foliage and clay muds were a good idea for his size, if it was just for him now… but for his partner? No, he had to make it extra comfortable. Yes, he'll make it extra special this time.

"Then shall we plan our holiday?" He was happy to provide the transport, he had a lot of gold and silver to spend with Ueda taking charge of things now. Their home could get an upgrade or… "Should we purchase a home near the lake? A … home from home?" He tilts his head in believing that was the saying sometimes used. "Then, we needn't rush our holiday since we'll have a nest there." Luit moved with ease to place down the rag and put aside the broom made from dried stems. Attention moved to glance over his work, proud of it too.

"We can sell some of my jewels… the pit is full again." The only woe of a Balaur, saliva that crystallises, there was only so much he could hoard from his own making. Magic towers would happily take them, but he didn't like going to them himself. They asked for too much when he drops things off and well, he wasn't doing it for money or fame or connections, they were just a dumping ground. "Ah - since it's a holiday; should we do the five-day journey?" Would it make the end-goal all the more rewarding?

[bclasaeg]

// " No! Uh-! "

That came out too suddenly for his liking. He quickly smiled and gave Luit's forearm a little pat, then changed to squeeze it instead. " I mean... I know you want to spend on me but... I don't know how I feel about a holiday home. I like this place, I really do. I don't go out often and even when I do, it's to collect items from the forest. In cities and such I have to venture out really, really far to get what I need you know? Plus the maintenance... and all... "

And a big house purchase like that... meant long time. Something that Ueda didn't need right now. It was a pity that this was all he could think about, and that he couldn't fully appreciate the thought that Luit was putting into making Ueda happy.

You either get married, break up. Or die.

Isn't that how parting goes? The less collateral the better. As he propped up the bowls to try on a sink built for him... those piles of books, the washing lines. Luit would be able to easily dismantle them. But a house? That was wasting money. Someone else could live in there not them.

" Let's make it a five day journey then. It'll be enough for me to collect the things I need for now. "

[bclasaeg]

// In moments of weakness, Eunji only had the courage to contact her uncle to scrape her out of the hole she accidentally leaped into. A cigarette, a glass, a hit of something to quiet the shaking, but she knew the relief would only dismantle every thing her uncle did to help her.

It hadn't happened yet, she had fallen off the wagon once or twice in the beginning, but what if this time it's too much? What if this time... he leaves? There's no evidence, only her paranoia, but she did not dare bring it up. How many times could she text this lifeline before it's too much?

The doorbell urged her out of the blanket pile on the floor. It felt more comfortable to sleep on the floor than her bed when she's in this state.

" Uncle..." She sniffled, eyes lowered with shame. " Thanks for coming... "

@bvlvnhan | ' wrong recipient '

[foolshcme]

--oh. hello.

He knew better than to stare. But Jake was just sort of right there. Stripping off his shirt. And of course shirtlessness wasn't an issue, but--

it was attractive. he couldn't lie.

"wow!" Stupid. Stupid. SHUT UP. He blushed as he was accepting the shirt, biting his lip hard to try and suppress whatever else wanted to slip past his lips. But it felt like it made them itch until he was blurting again. "--that was a tic, I promise--not that--wow, wow, wow!--not that you aren't handsome. You are! I--...am gonna stop talking." He simpered down as he removed his own shirt, replacing it with Jake's.

It was warm and it smelled good.

"You sure that you'll be warm enough? Thank you. I'll lay my shirt--wow!--out on the bench here so hopefully its dry when we come back from the walk."

[bclasaeg]

// Used to his tics by now, usually it unphased him or Jake didn't bring attention to them, but the odd stare coupled with it suddenly made him all shy, he nearly covered up his top half with an arm.

Naturally he'll get it all the time that compliments about his physical appearance hardly got a genuine reaction out of him, from Otis though, even a remark so passing, was quite embarrassing. He quickly zipped up his hoodie and felt less heated.

" I'll be alright. I work out a lot so naturally I feel less cold. "

Ah... he thinks I'm handsome?

It's difficult to look him in the eye now...

" Have you walked this route before? I've done hikes but only in those big nature parks. "

[bclasaeg]

// It was rare for Nikki to have a partner to drink with, even rarer to have the same one two weeks in a row. The first time they met, it was a silent competition between two patrons who happened to order the same thing at the same time, only to spiral sharply into competition. While at first he was in no mood, the irritation exchanged back and forth melted into something resembling enemies cease firing for Christmas to celebrate together.

" Here for a rematch? " Nikki smiled, waving down for another glass for his friend.

@venmour

[foolshcme]

"So mundane." Giuseppe sighed, allowing Elek to do as he wished before he stood upright once more. "I wish you'd have the courage to hit me in situations like this. It would make this more exciting, hm?"

He disliked events like this, after all. There was nothing fun about a charity ball. Just rich people discussing their nobility and 'kindness'--meanwhile, he was certain they were all fond of the tax break more than any sick children or orphaned puppies. He certain liked the tax break more...--but at the very least he was honest about it after the cameras left.

He took two appetizers from a passing waiter, offering one of the mini sausages to Elek, knowing full well there was a 90% chance that he would deny and Giuseppe could enjoy a second.

"I've almost fulfilled my obligation."

[bclasaeg]

// " Hitting you wouldn't even be satisfying given your love for painful things. " A pause. " Although, you're awfully picky what type of pain that you like. Isn't this ball painful? And yet you're not enjoying it. A little ungrateful if you ask me. ''

The two were in different fields of work, but if there was one thing they had in common, was that they dealt with money. Elek didn't like these charity balls either... but an opportunity to hang out with his friend tickled him, even if he would not admit that out loud.

Well... he usually enjoyed it anyway.

" Oh good. You're leaving? I won't have to look at you. "