Have you spoken to Diane since the wedding? Or are you guys like not friends anymore?
“ No. I think the wedding bit was a… well, not a necessary, but a much awaited end to that chapter of our lives. I think I kinda knew even before I asked that that was probably the last time we were ever gonna talk to each other. Some part of me wanted her to say it wouldn’t be, but I think I knew. “
“ But it’s good for her. I think it’s good for me, too, actually. I might have a way to explain it that might make more sense than me just… blathering on about nothing. “ He rubs his chin, thoughtful.
“ So, when I was a kid of some age, I worked at this food place for… probably two years or so. It was hell. Like, it was manageable hell because the boss didn’t give two shits about what we all did, as long as we got the people their food, but still. And when I found a better opportunity somewhere else, I put in my notice, and I quit. Well, when that new job ended up being actual hell, I decided to go back to my first job and see if I could get back in with them, since I left in good standing and all.
“ And they took me back, and even though I was a couple years older, and I had a whole different work ethic by then and a new perspective on things, I still found myself doing all the old shit I used to do. Instead of, you know, actually doing work, I’d go hide in the bathroom for twenty minutes, or I’d just putter around and talk to people instead of doing stuff that actually needed to be done because we were slow and nothing mattered, and I’d make myself food whenever I wanted, and it bothered me. Because I knew that wasn’t what I was used to doing anymore, and I didn’t like it, but I worked there for so long that it was just… habit, y’know? And nobody called me on it, so it was what it was. “
“ I kinda think that’s what this was. We were… different when we were together. There’s a reason the saying ‘misery loves company’ is what it is. Sometimes, the habits you form over years and years of repeat behavior leave more of an impact than the things you might’ve learned did, and the only way to break those habits is to remove yourself from the situation and stay gone. You’re living a whole new life, why would you go back to the old one that made you so miserable? It’s a comfort thing. But you have to realize that you’re a better person who feels better when you step away from it. And it’s scary, but… ultimately, it needs to be done. For your own sake.
“ I think being apart kinda forces us both to do something like that. I’m not happy about it. Diane was a very, very good friend of mine. But it needed to happen, I think. “