bddexperience

personal account i use to help express and cope with my daily feelings w/ diagnosed: Body Dysmorphic Disorder, OCD, anxiety & clinical depression, (no matter who you are or what it is if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me :] )

[maelstromhead]

We do not so much fall in love as we do into desperation. While I am collapsing in on myself on the bathroom floor trying to keep my own hands from tearing me apart you are tapping on the other side of the door, whispering “It’s okay, please come out now.” I am thinking about the way you licked the lust off of my tongue and it makes me sick. I am thinking about the way your fingers tightened around my throat when I told you “I’ve never done anything like this before” and I would give anything to have the ability to rewind time, go back to the moment before I read your message, before I hit REPLY, before you drowned me in the delicious prose of your own sorrow, before you unraveled my apathy with your bare hands and forced me to swallow it whole. I am staring at my face in this dirty mirror and I am drawing exes over my eyes in the dust and the toothpaste splatter. I am waiting for you to give up on me. I am waiting for you to leave me. I am waiting for myself to gather the courage to wash the tear-streaked makeup off of my face and open the door, walk away, don’t say anything, escape.

I Swear I’ve Spent Half My Life Hiding In Bathrooms Arguing With Myself || Heather Elise (via maelstromhead)

[little--panda-deactivated201411]

[hidden-disaster-deactivated2014]

1. Do not say “I love you” if you do not mean it. 2. Do not date someone just to make another person jealous. 3. Do not cheat. 4. Do not lie, not even about little insignificant things. 5. Do not date someone just because someone else is unavailable at the moment. 6. Do not play with someone’s emotions. 7. Just be a decent fucking person.

(via hefuckin)

[loveless-people]

Stop saying it’s okay when your soul’s bleeding. Stop trying to dodge knives that always end up in the depths of your heart. Stop looking to the ceiling hoping that tears won’t overflow. Stop taking people’s shit. Walk away. Fuck them all.

loveless-people (via unintensional)

[andletliveagain]

PSA to all of you to never be that person to just leave someone who you’ve been intimately connected with without an explanation or reason. No one ever deserves that pain. They will literally be left in the dust wondering why they weren’t good enough for a simple goodbye or a decent break up. It’s the kind of pain that months later on a Monday afternoon, they’ll all of a sudden be hit with that cold, hollow feeling of emptiness. If you walk away from someone like that, be prepared to know that your actions can become a catalyst that reiterates their self-doubt when they are feeling down. You really don’t know how much impact your actions can have on another person. Your reaction to something could impact the way they look at relationships for the rest of their life. Your actions matter, be smart about how you treat others and don’t play with someone’s heart. 

[leobinch-deactivated20200912]

All it takes is a phone call to say “Hey, I’m not okay” and I will be on your doorstep with open arms. All it takes is a text saying “I can’t do this” and I’ll give you a million reasons as to why you should keep trying. All it takes is a phone call saying “I’m too sad to sleep” and I will sing you lullabies my mother would sing to me. All it takes is to say “Hey I’ve had a shit life” and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make yours worth while.

I want to kiss the sad out of you // t.m (via aietala)

[n-e-b-u-l-0-u-s]

[reclusivehermit-deactivated2021]

Now I know just how little people actually give a shit.

I literally never ask anyone for anything and the one time I do? Radio silence. Not a single soul put their hand up to help me out.

I feel so fucking alone.

[ohlovequotes]

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”

 Shana Abe (via ohlovequotes)

[n-3-r-deactivated20191007]

I will not be your second choice nor your first I’m not a choice to be chosen or not I either be your one and only, or nothing at all.

n3r (via n-3-r)

[tiarakahlo-deactivated20150922]

I am unable to describe exactly what is the matter with me; now and then there are horrible fits of anxiety, apparently without cause, or otherwise a feeling of emptiness and fatigue in the head.

Vincent van Gogh (via aurorefleurs)

[andreasaresti]

[haleyincarnate]

These scars were formed off of words you let trickle out of your mouth like the water from a creek; slow and tranquil, but the impact they had on me possessed the force of Niagara Falls. Just like water, your words seeped into every pore in my skin like liquor to the tongue of an addict and I was left pleading you not to let me drown. I never learned how to swim and your words bear enough weight to drag me to the bottom of Mariana’s Trench.

surviving isn’t my top priority when the one i was living for is killing me; Haley Hendrick (s-k-e-t-c-h-e-d)

[100wordsneversaid]

He won’t hold my hand. The man I date won’t hold my hand in public. He says he’s not the “showing type” Aren’t you proud of dating me ? I asked He never answered. My mama taught me self respect, Where did I leave it? The man I slept with wouldn’t hold my hand. I wish I knew why.

 (via 100wordsneversaid)

[emptywalkways-deactivated202108]

[bddexperience-blog]

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[animalsnaps]

[littlebitmorethandepressed-deac]