36605 Till I Die @bdp1993 - Tumblr Blog

Joe Cain had us rolling harder than a couple of 19-year-olds at their first rave. Notice how I hyperextended my arm to save the drink. #mardigras #joecain #joecainday (at Oakleigh Garden Historic District) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvITXaNl0xYcP9Lx7zVs2KC8xidOg4jQz_wDEE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7nccjt4aoq3z

#mardigras #joecain #joecainday

This is something that I debated on posting about because there is still so much stigma and misconception regarding mental illness. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a “picky eater” and constantly cycled through various disordered eating behaviors. The first time I expressed that I thought I might have an eating disorder I was 19 (and well over 10 years into it) so the nurse ordered blood work and checked my BMI. Everything came back healthy and normal so she threw some prescriptions at me and sent me on my way because I “wasn’t sick enough.” Ouch. This continued through college and into grad school, where I completely shut down both mentally and physically. The Baylee that everyone knew and loved ceased to exist. I deprived my body of the nutrition that is required to function. My mind was a constant fog, my anxiety and depression were crippling, and my family members were concerned for my life. Girls that I never dreamed of sharing a pant size with were doting on how great I looked. People asked about my workout routine and diet plan. Being admitted into an IP hospital for a month was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but also the most eye opening. Research statistics show that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, so why is it still so misunderstood? Our societal view of the “perfect body” definitely plays a role in the praise of having an ED, but it’s far deeper than that. It’s a way to feel control over at least 1 aspect of your life. But Mr. ED will quickly reverse the roles and take total control over you until you completely lose yourself. In the left photos, I was wildly lost. Sometimes I couldn’t even make words because of the constant brain fog secondary to malnutrition. The photos on the right are me today. I may cry when I try on jeans or see certain angles of myself, but I am finally happy. Sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found, so allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Baylee, and I’m l learning to love the body that God gave me. Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me through hell and back. I truly owe y’all my life💚💙 #nedaweek #neda #selflove #thickthighssavelives https://www.instagram.com/p/BuckZS4FKYFX6Hven8_FPUGRcZ1d9lZdAWxkiU0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=aspdi6295w5w

#nedaweek #neda #selflove #thickthighssavelives

Throwback to that time @portugaltheman played a free show at the Hangout. That day might be over now, but I Feel It Still. I guess I'll just have to continue to Smile like a Creep In A T-Shirt and try to Live In The Moment. #tbt #portugaltheman (at The Hangout)

#portugaltheman #tbt

The sun will rise and we will try again. #sunrise #twentyonepilots #truce (at Dog River)

#twentyonepilots #sunrise #truce

PSA: Just call me A.C. Slater because I have decided to become a competitive wrestler. Big thanks to my sponsor, @sunnycoclothing, for providing me with the free suit! (at The Porter Pier)

We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness. -An Anonymous Insomniac #nofilter #sunrise #dogriver (at The Porter Pier)

#sunrise #dogriver #nofilter

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" No, but I did bruise my shins climbing out of the Devil's Den😈 (at Devil's Den Prehistoric Spring)

I am not a morning person, but I am a sunrise person. #sundayfunday #nofilter (at Dog River)

#nofilter #sundayfunday

Photo by Sloss Music & Arts Festival: "Words to live by. #SlossFest2015"

#Sloss Music & Arts Festival #Tunespeak

"Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right." Forever grateful for everyone that I have met over these past four years and for all of the memories that I have made. What a long strange trip it's been, but I think it's time for the next one. Thanks fam. #noragrets #gratefulgrad (at The Porter Pier)

#gratefulgrad #noragrets