catharsis
some short fluff. Ken x gn!reader. Songfic if you squint. Ken learns a new word.
Ken hears your sobs as he gets in from his run and his blood goes cold. In a state of panic he kicks through the living room door (which will probably need replacing, his fear that you’re in trouble seems to give him a great burst of strength) and he is at your side in a flash, your shoulders in his hands as he checks you over.
“My darling baby angel? What’s the matter? Did someone hurt you? Do you need me to call the police? The ambulance? The fire brigade? All three?”
You sniffle as you laugh, wiping your tears away as you smile fondly at him. You reach out to pause the music that he only just now realises is playing, soft and mournful.
“No, Ken, honey, I’m fine. Better than our door is, at least. I had a long day and needed a bit of a cry, you know?”
He doesn’t know, and it must show on his face.
“Do you ever feel all your emotions all well up in you at once and you need something to channel them into? This is how I like to do that. I put on some sad music and just let myself sit with how I feel. If I cry, it’s okay. It helps me feel better.”
“Crying makes it better?” he repeats incredulously, trying to parse this. Very few people cried in Barbieland and, if they did, it was often from joy at winning another Nobel Prize. He’s always assumed sad crying was a bad thing.
“Do you know what ‘catharsis’ is?”
He’s pretended to know words to impress you before, and he always gets caught out. He shakes his head.
“Mm, okay. Come sit with me.”
You open your legs and manoeuvre him until you can hold him between them, his back to your chest. You rest your chin on his head and skip back to the start of the track before hitting play.
“Just listen for a bit.”
He does. The singer’s voice is new to him, smoky and melancholy. He feels your tears in his hair and fights every urge he has to ask if you’re okay again; you know yourself, after all. He trusts you.
The song sinks in and he begins to feel a strange twang in his chest. He lets the lyrics settle.
Well I’ve been afraid of changing, because I’ve built my life around you.
Oh. That hits him, because he knows that feeling himself. That was how he felt about… well, about her. Long before he came to live with you here and his life got infinitely better. Some kind of thick emotion gets lodged in his throat and his eyes grow dewy.
“Who… who is this husky-toned enchantress?” he manages, and you laugh fondly.
“Stevie Nicks. Not all her songs are this sad, don’t worry. How are you feeling?”
He is sobbing… but it’s okay. It’s nice, even.
“A bit sad, but mostly good,” he confesses. You drop a kiss into his blond hair.
“That’s catharsis.”
The two of you listen to the next verse and let the tears fall in comfort.
“Is catharsis something you can do with a boyfriend?”
“We’re doing it right now, aren’t we?”
“Huh. I guess so.” A beat. “Can we do it again some time? If I need to?”
“Of course. Whenever you need.”
Ken relaxes into you and lets the music wash over him as he considers how glad he is that now he’s built his life around you.
