Cardan: can we go shopping
Jude: we already went 5 times this week
Cardan: but i-
Jude: you can buy clothes online too
[Later]
[Crashing footsteps approaching]
Jude: *smashes door open* WHY THE FUCK ARE WE -$12.383 IN DEBT
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@bearthefrog
Cardan: can we go shopping
Jude: we already went 5 times this week
Cardan: but i-
Jude: you can buy clothes online too
[Later]
[Crashing footsteps approaching]
Jude: *smashes door open* WHY THE FUCK ARE WE -$12.383 IN DEBT
[Jude, Cardan, Taryn, Vivienne and Heather in a karaoke bar]
Vivienne: lmao imagine Cardan on stage
Cardan: *admiring the idea*
Jude: oh please. I have to take his hype in private, there's no way I can handle it in public too.
Taryn: I think it's too late for that
Jude: w-
MC: Give it up for Cardi G!
Cardan: HIT IT, MORTAL
The ghost, walking in to the room to see jurdan playing rock paper scissors: how long have you guys been playing?
Cardan: ✌🏼👉🏼✋🏼🖖🏼🫴🏼🤘🏼
The ghost: huh
Jude, on her phone while playing with cardan: I told him the rules of the game were the person who was asked to play couldn't speak while playing.
The ghost: a-
Jude, giving the ghost a death stare: which are the rules. Right...ghost?
[Cardan and Jude playing chess]
Jude: *moves a chess piece* checkmate.
Cardan:
Cardan, voice breaking: did you cheat on me
Jude: what? Why would you think that
Cardan: you just said "check mate" and we didn't mate but you checked it off the list anyway
Jude: n-
Cardan: IS HE BETTER THAN ME, JUDE? IS HE?
i NEED to know who made these entries on the omnictionary wiki
WHAT THE ACTUAL DUCK I CANT 😭😭😭
cardan’s letters to jude in a nutshell
That’s a waste of pap— that’s a waste of grief, begging, love and I quote, “indiscreet promises”
the “I expect you to come back now that everything is settled” letter
lol the “I want you to come back but I don’t want to say it so just come be angry at me closer” letter
The second half part though- 😭. the “just come home I don’t care what you do to me but just COME BAAAACK” letter
Cardan be like: tf does this queen think she is not responding to my letters, AKA the “YOU HAVE NEVER DONE MORE OF A SIN THAN THIS JUDE DUARTE” letter
Also cardan: yeah I’m doing something wrong, how about I address this to The High Queen of Elfhame, ha this will definitely work AKA the most heartfelt, poetic and longest letter
At this point cardan just gave up and started doing what he does best: writing Jude’s name in an angry, passionate and grieving fashion. This is called the, “ I give up you win” letter.
I am sobbing.
I don’t want to obsess over jurdan I need to be in Elfhame witnessing them. To see them. And live vicariously through them
(Stolen meme)
[In the cruel prince]
Jude: lets play 20 questions
Cardan: okay. What's your favorite color?
Jude, with a laser pointed stare: square. Tell me who wants to claim the throne.
Cardan: that's not even a questio-
Jude: I wasn't asking.
Vivienne: HAPPY NO SIMP SEMPTEMBER!!
Cardan: what
Vivienne: you can't drool over Jude for one month
Cardan: pfft easy. I dont even do that like who even does t-
Vivienne: oh yeah? Whats that in your hand?
Cardan, hiding pink glitter, paper hearts and a card: this is strictly confidental information regarding the throne.
just me sitting here wondering what jude and cardan are doing for the thousandth time
Quite literally not existing
Lmao, me? Vanilla? You wis-
"Come home and shout at me, come home and fight with me, come home and break my heart if you must.
Just come home."
Jude: I need to get something off my chest
Cardan: oh no, what's wrong?
Jude: i've always loved you...even if I never showed it. Im sorry for treating you harshly when I did. You're my everything.
Cardan, fanning his eyes: oh my God I don't know what to s-
Jude: can you shut up i'm talking to my knives
[Jude, Nicasia, Locke and Cardan playing spin the bottle]
Nicasia: your turn, greenbriar
Cardan: *fixates the bottle on Jude*
Jude:
Jude: you have to spin it
Cardan: you can't change the rules mid-game, duarte
Jude: those were always the ru- aaand he's leaning in
Jude: CARDAN WHERE ARE YOU
Vivienne: what is hAPPENING
Jude: Cardan touched my knives even though I specifically told him not to
Vivienne: Jude, he's not a child
Cardan, hiding in a closet: I WANT MY MOMMY
Jude, just walking into the room to see Cardan nervously rocking himself: What's wrong?
Vivienne: he's worried you don't love him enough
Jude: what? We're married
Vivienne: yeah but when he asked "would Jude love me if I was a worm" and my answer was "no" he started crying and he's been like that ever since
zoya: I just want to hear those three little words
nikolai: I love you :)
zoya, shaking her head: no, try again
nikolai: I will behave :(
zoya: much better
This is also Jude and Cardan