Aren't these the moments we live for @beasyou-are - Tumblr Blog

C was judgy about my green wrap choice and he picked a royal blue with bright orange accents and I do not like those together lol

I shared my fear with C about our vacation and me just spending the whole trip in the bedroom hiding from everything and not doing anything and he was like “I’m not worried, if that ends up being what you need to do on the trip that would be okay”

And it surprised me a lot that that was his response?

C has been talking about buying a slate truck for at least two years (I have heard him talk about it at least twice a month at length since then) and they are finally announcing the prices for the base model and all the accessories in 10 days as well as his delivery window because he placed a refundable $50 deposit a year ago. Now he’s been debating and weighing the pros and cons of buying when it hits his delivery window vs waiting. The goal was to have our own house before he got the truck to make charging much easier but you know, his deadbeat cousin sucks so we don’t have the money and his name is still on the mortgage. His still leaning towards yes but the company also isn’t announcing the financing options now so he doesn’t know for sure

But tonight at dinner he requested that I build my own version on the website so “I can buy a truck you would drive” and like mostly it was just picking colors of things??? But I picked green and he said no (but the wrap is replaceable) lol. But we at least picked the same body style.

I refuse to drive his current car because it’s a manual and he always drives anyway whether we take his car or mine so I’m not sure why he’s so adamant about me driving the new one? He’s offered to teach me but I don’t want that lol.

C did all the research for me on replacing my social security card and birth certificate because I need them for my real ID in a new state and to claim money from my old state. But he had understood it as I needed to have my birth certificate BEFORE I can get a replacement SS card which was not true. Which delays things a few days but it’s fine 🤪 probably should’ve checked his work lol

But the replacement card is ordered.

kosmogrl

what doesn’t kill you makes you cry on a bright sunny day

I genuinely appreciate that C’s mom wants to buy stuff I can have for our vacation when she gets groceries for everyone but I have trouble letting someone else do it. I’d prefer if C/we did it because it’s much easier and I don’t feel like a massive burden! I think the first year (2022), she accepted that I went shopping myself and then I didn’t go for the next two years and last year she tried to shop for me and I said I’d do it because it’s easier. But I hate both giving up the control and feeling like I’m burdening people. I don’t know. I had forgotten about this aspect of being on vacation with his family for a week, the food aspect.

She texted me today that she’s starting her list for it and it instantly made me anxious.

I need to ask C for help to wash my hair and shower and shave but I don’t even know how that would work because our shower is tiny and I get claustrophobic when I’m in there alone!

theprofessional-amateur

Me when I contact IT and tell them yes I restarted and followed any instructions I could but computer still angry and IT says they are escalating this because it is an actual issue: I am getting a good grade in service desk ticket. Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

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grison-in-space

I'm pretty sure that as much as anything this skill boils down to frustration tolerance. I see people melting down at the first sign of needing to search for instructions all the time. Teaching them to get through it becomes as much about teaching them to handle the emotional experience of not knowing as anything else.

I bought two products to try to treat and prevent the boob rash as well as 5 new bras to try because I don’t think the size of bras I have now fits anymore so I went down a size and got a variety to see if I like them.

I definitely thought my dad’s requested Father’s Day present was going to be like $150 but it’s only $65 phew

The irritation between my boobs looks worse today. I thought it was from my bras pushing my boobs together but it’s from them being pushed together while I’m sleeping and sweating. Last night it was really itchy when I tried to sleep

Had a meltdown that I don’t deserve C and he shouldn’t like living with me or loving me

I’m back to a “I am too anxious to do Activities outside the house but I hate myself for it but I can’t do Activities because too much anxiety and I hate myself”

I am Bad mentally today

We go on vacation in a couple of weeks and I’m really worried that it’s going to turn out like my weekends do, with low moods and too much anxiety to leave the house or socialize

I’m mentally really struggling :(

Asked C to make me 1 scrambled egg and a piece of toast and it was taking ages so he came out and offered it to me and was like “I don’t know what happened, I think I put too much milk, but they’re super watery”

I can barely eat slightly watery scrambled eggs because of the Texture. I asked him to make me more :( and feel super bad even though he had offered :(

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Aren't these the moments we live for