I am super bloated and gassy this morning. Like visibly bloated. It hurts.
Itās cramps š«

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I am super bloated and gassy this morning. Like visibly bloated. It hurts.
Itās cramps š«
C and I made a plan to go to the beach tomorrow and Iām already brainstorming ways to get out of it, even though it was me who said āI want to go to the beachā several times in the first place. Why am I the worst person ever??
I need to buy some new bras today I think, I usually have a red rash under the band when itās hot after wearing a bra but now I have one in between my boobs as well. And theyāre lasting a lot longer. I havenāt worn a bra since like 4:30 yesterday afternoon and itās still pretty red.
I am super bloated and gassy this morning. Like visibly bloated. It hurts.
the persecution of lefthandedness is insane to think about because it was so intense for so long, in some places still is, without any clear profit motivation. sheer love of the game. as late as the 70s at least they were smacking my stepdad's hands for it with a wooden ruler at school, to this day he's in weird ambidexterity situation where he's not great with either side and notably clumsy due to poor hand-eye coordination. just wtf
It is fascinating to me that people also think of handedness as an example of bigotry that just...went away. As you note, it...hasn't in some places. I know people who grew up in the mid-late 90s who still had this problem.
But also, and this is really important to keep in mind regarding bigotry that still causes in many ways larger problems, that the structural problems are not actually fixed.
If you go to any computer lab or public library, the mice will be on the right side of the computer. Sometimes they can be moved. Sometimes they can't. Many computer mice are curved to only fit in right hands.
It is impossible to find lefthanded scissors without going to a specialty store, because most scissor makers don't even make them. And it's not just a matter of grip; the slicing side of the blades is obscured if you use righty scissors in your left hand, so your cut is off.
All those signing pads with the little chained styluses? Almost always on the right side, often not even long enough to stretch to the left. Makes signing for lefties extremely difficult.
I caused actual muscular problems in college having to twist around in order to write at right-handed desks in college when there weren't enough lefty desks--and there never were. Some classrooms didn't even have a single one.
I could go on.
But the point is, bigotry isn't just a mindset shift. People can't just decide they're not bothered by that particular difference anymore and everything's fine, because society is still structured and designed to cause problems for marginalized people. And they're never even going to notice all the little ways their life is bent to convenience them that inconveniences others.
When kiddo was learning to write, their teacherāwho was a beautifully kind, caring, compassionate person who even thanked me for making them aware of certain kinds of left/handed supplies, because their new toddler was a lefty and theyād never even thought about itāwas teaching the kids a method for word spacing that involved placing their free index finger down at the end of each word and then writing the next one.
Pause for a moment, especially if youāre right-handedāand Iām being serious here, physically do this if you have two functioning arms and handsāand grab a writing tool in your left hand. Now place your right index finger down and try to start writing a word next to it.
Yeah. Great technique, huh? Really convenient and comfortable and easy. š
I sent in a small baggie of small popsicle sticks Iād custom painted for them and labeled with their name for kiddo to use instead, but ultimately they stopped because it wasnāt as convenient when nobody else had to get something out.
Writing in English is difficult enough when youāre left-handed (most of our letters are designed with pull motions, but lefties must push), but even other foundational basics are made more difficult than they have to be, because their needs arenāt considered, even in situations where overt hostility isnāt intended.
Even now, in an older grade, theyāre now all sharing a lot of the supplies, but my kiddo has their own pair of labeled lefty scissors they keep in their personal cubby. Teacher was 100% chill with me sending them in, but didnāt even consider to take the step further when Iād asked about whether or not they had them to just⦠get some for all the lefties. I know there are other kids, know some of them personally. (I made a set of writing spacing sticks for the single one that I knew of back in 1st grade.)
Regarding computer mice? Kiddo had standardized testing last year. They do it on chromebooks now at their school. They did their entire first day with the track pad instead of the mouse, because none of the teachers proctoring or assisting even knew you COULD switch the sides/toggle a setting to switch which button was the dominant select. We happened to have one at home thanks to remote learning during Covidās early days, so that night we sat down together and found the setting ourselves so they could fix it the following day. But on a student account at school, they couldnāt change that setting. And? None of those teachers knew enough about technology to be able to override it. So even when I went above and beyond and personally sought out the skills and tools to help my child level the playing field on their own, the teaching staff was so unaccustomed to even considering this as a need or problem, that they werenāt able to remove the incredibly basic barriers to a fair schooling experience.
And this is honestly a good school, with staff that care and work hard and take 99% of bigotry concepts very seriously, teach about truth and compassion and how to recognize at this kid level a lot of the basic seeds that can grow into hate and hurt and also healing and helping. But the fact that left-handed needs are different? It is so ingrained to default to right-handed layouts that even left-handed staff donāt conceptualize these problems, because they were taught the exact same way.
10 pm hits and I get super paranoid and anxious about my relationship, even as heās cuddling me š
I do not like the direction the book Iām reading too!!! FMC said at the beginning she didnāt want kids! 80% in and sheās accidentally pregnant (she had the implant so they didnāt use condoms and she miscalculated how long she had it so it expired)
lol I got home an hour ago with two donuts with the intent to eat one and save one for dessert so I donāt spoil my dinner
There are still two uneaten donuts in the bag
C was like ādo you just want to go to the beach we go to on vacation?ā And I had totally forgotten that was an option since itās 1.5 hours away. He said he thought that might be the best option because we know there are lots of food options!
Hey, can I borrow someone's executive function for a minute? I ran out and I've been putting off answering this email for two weeks because in my head it has become an insurmountable task that has taken on a life of it's own and now looms over me, shrouding every thought and action in an all consuming sense of dread.
C was like āit was sooo hot todayā and I wanted to know the hottest it got today and the highest heat index for the day was 104. Itās currently at 100. Now I feel less bad not sitting outside to read
C got home from work (heās got a job at a workshop type place) and he was really dirty yesterday and then today he was so covered in dirt/whatever stuff it is that his arms look like a different skin tone completely š¬š¬š¬ I told him heās probably going to have to let the shower run after he gets out to get all the dirt out of there too
Told everyone at work I want to go to the beach this weekend (lake or ocean). Then I realized that means Iāll have to shower to shave everything, wear a bathing suit in public, wear sunscreen, and then shower to get sand and sunscreen off and wash my hair.
Now Iām re-thinking this.
(You might be thinking that I could just go hang out with my parents at their lake without shaving but my mom would 100% say something about it)
Mutual pining is great, but you know what's even better? Mutual pining where they're both fully aware the feelings are requited, they just can't do anything about it for other reasons. Or maybe they technically could but they've had to choose not to, because of The Circumstances.
My forearm bruises š¬
Oh no! The HR assistant never gave me info or instructions for when sheās gone and sheās currently at a wedding so I canāt call her! I totally forgot!