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funkyumamusume

I keep thinking about Sweep Tosho I fuckin love the witch honse, Funky

with this almighty power, sweep tosho summons still in love

umamusume-headcanons

doubleca5t

Umamusume is an extremely funny series to introduce to someone because not only is the core premise absurd (gijinkas of famous Japanese racehorses who run races that mirror the careers of the horses they're based on while also being idols), but it feels like every other writing and worldbuilding decision is somehow even more absurd than the last

doubleca5t

The series takes place at what is ostensibly a high school but the umas have careers that occur years if not decades apart. The umas do not age, no one appears to ever leave Tracen Academy if they don't want to and there is no satisfying explanation for how this works

Despite, again, all of then ostensibly being in high school, some umas act like grown adults who pay taxes and others act like they're no more than 8 years old

Canonically, no one gambles on the uma races.

The creators had to patch some of the story dialogue because they accidentally created a timeline where the modern day Republic of Ireland has a monarchy

Super Creek wants you to do age regression with her because she likes playing mommy

Admire Vega had a twin sister who was aborted in the womb and said dead fetus is now a literal ghost that actively haunts her

Matikanefukukitaru also has a dead sister and she isn't being haunted but she does have religious psychosis

The creators get permission from the owners of all the horses before putting them in the game. The owner of Daiwa Scarlet allegedly approved her inclusion in the game on the one condition that she be given bigger boobs than her main rival, Vodka

Vodka drinks tea from a flask

Agnes Digital writes erotic friend fiction of the other umas

Streets have dedicated uma lanes

The Statue of Liberty is an umamusume

Long phone

badaxefamily

The anime is significantly less strange than the game, too. For example, the umaverse has fully functional immersive VR. Meaning you're just in the virtual space. There's a mini event centered on it. Agnes Tachyon has her own VR, and casually traps the trainer in a VR sim which lets them experience being an uma (they enjoy it). She has a variety of experiments go slightly wrong and cause the trainer to be really hyper or glow.

shulldreamer

crimsongender

Still in Love is a heartbreaking character who doesn't get to be happy even in fanwork of her.

In both canon and fanon, her "other side" is more loved and focused on while the true Still never gets to exist.

A story of a teenage girls struggle with mental health from a young age gets sidelined for a made-up plot of a "yandere who is madly in love with her trainer."

The truth is Still and her "other side" do not fit the yandere trope aside from being mentally ill and having an obsession. They do not act lovey-dovey/innocent with the trainer nor do they get lost in obsessive love to the point of mental illness and/or extreme violence. Still's mental illness has existed since childhood, due to her being buliied by children and adults alike for her "other side," and the only obsession they have is her "other side" wanting to win.

Still can't leave her trainer because they're the only person to accept her "other side" and not treat her horribly for it, but her trainer isn't innocent. And that leads to Still either being consumed by her untreated mental health issues to the point of ending her own life or her "other side" takes over and the real Still in Love is forgotten.

And the game dares call the second ending her "good" ending. Still in Love does not get a good ending. Not even in fanon. Most fanart of her is her "other side," most animations of her are her "other side," everything is about her "other side." This "other side" that Still in Love despises and does not want.

Still in Love is a character that, in both the game and in real life, was never allowed to simply exist and have a good ending. So much so that people even spread misinformation about and sexualise the real life horse being "in love" with her jockey. She was inbred and had behavioural issues due to it. She had one child before suffering from complications and, instead of people trying to spread awareness on the horrors she went through from even before her birth, people have the balls to say she "died because she couldn't handle having anyone's child but her jockeys." it's disgusting how horribly her in-game and real-life self is treated by a fandom who claims to care about these horses and characters.

Still in Love is not a "yandere horse girl." And I will die on this hill.