saved $12,456 since 4/3/16

17 yr old making a living off of lifting planning a giveaway at 600 followers💫

[bad1dimagines]

[captaincanceroftheinternet-blog]

[phallusmagnificus]

Check out captaincanceroftheinternet

[slimetony]

Hey can I claim you guys as dependents on my taxes

[gooeychewy]

That Tumblr Mobile™ feel when you open the app after having it closed for a while and you catch a glimpse of a really good post, and you sigh internally because you just know it’s about to be whisked away into the abyss never to be found again as your dashboard automatically refreshes

[freeisthenewblack-deactivated20]

I just had a scary thought… what if the doors automatically locked when the towers beeped so you were trapped in the store?

sounds like a fire hazard though

[freeisthenewblack-deactivated20]

lol

[cityyyyylights]

Man I’m not even kidding when I tell you I’ve had nightmares about this. My biggest fear lol

[moscowdiscow-deactivated2017011]

love is FAKE

house music is REAL!

[justasimplememebean]

The rule was that when I bought my food I could have one free plasticware. But no. I am a rebel. I stole NINE free plasticware.

#BLESSTHISHAUL

[liftlikeitsmylast]

You are #Goals 🙌

[swipingbandit]

This haul is life 

[paradise-panda-person]

Omg don’t u know the plasticware comes out of the employees paycheck!!! When u steal forks somebody has 2 pay for them! I’m calling the police!i!i!

😅😂😅😂

[swipingbandit]

ah gosh darn kringle, those dirty lifters are at it again !!

[22psyduck]

must be dreaming of happy things

[straightfacedstrangeness]

Concept for a porno:

Woman reclining seductively on a bed. The door swings open. The Grim Reaper walks in.

Woman gives the Reaper a husky look. “So,” she drawls. “Death has finally come for me.”

“Not yet,” replies the Reaper, and strips off its robe

[onlytwitterpics]

[jumex]

*pulls up to mcdonalds drive thru* hey…..it’s me again

[bisexualityislegit]

[lyftfordays]

Is lifting around Christmas time a bad idea? Is it easier or harder when it's this busy?

Lifting around Christmas is definitely one of the harder times of the year. Stores will hire more LP around this time because more people are likely to try and lift. Also crowds can work both for and against you. Find an empty blind spot and you’re golden, but do be careful because the more crowded a store is the more likely it is that someone will walk around the corner and see you. Speed and carefulness is key bby!

[leslie-knopes]

[this-probably-aint-legal]

i saw your post defending lifting! it's all good but pls pls pls spread the message to not lift from little businesses/neighborhood corner stores etc and because even though it saves lifters money, my family's stores is losing so much money - consider the stores that don't make much profit and the people who run them before taking things

PSA: in case this hasn’t been established, i do support this perspective!! yay for small business!! families and people who are just starting off in the world run those places like they’re their children, and it’s a shame to see those people struggle. 

please don’t lift from small businesses!!! they work harder and longer than bigger business for less, and it’s not fair to them if we take that away from them

[this-probably-aint-legal]

do you have any tips on lifting without using a purse?

utilize them pockets boo!! there have also been times where i’ve used my bra and slipped things into my boots. 

[ittybittyliftingcommittee-blog]

I had the most amazing coat that had three inside pockets and it was so perfect for lifting! I also like to put flat things like books in the waistband of my pants and tuck my shirt over it.

[automodownremade-deactivated202]

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

[jokesarefunny]

i aint risking being a weak ass ghost