New York City is a big place but [ BEATRIZ RYAN ], a [ 31 ] year-old [ FEMALE ] has made it their home in [ MOTT HAVEN, THE BRONX ]. In this city you can be anything you want to be and [ SHE ] is a [ FLIGHT ATTENDANT]. Described by loved ones as [ FRANK , ATTENTIVE , AND CURIOUS ] but those wanting to bring them down might say they are [SARCASTIC, BLUNT , AND RECKLESS] but I guess that is up to everyone else to decide! You never know who you’re going to meet around here, but weirdly they look like [ VICTORIA JUSTICE ] - what are the odds?
tw: death, miscarriage, car crash
basic
Full Name: Beatriz Alice Ryan Nickname(s): Bea, bitch, freak, and plenty more Age: Thirty-one Height: 5′6″ Gender & Pronouns: Cis-female & she/her Orientation: Bisexual Hometown: New York Residential Area: The Bronx, New York Occupation: Flight Attendant Relationship status: Single
bio
From the very beginning, life wasn’t easy for Bea. Losing her mother during birth, the little girl was left with her father. While the man did everything he could to raise her, involving his brother and the family, all of it came crashing down (quite literally). When Bea was around three years old, her father got into a car crash, dying at the scene, leaving her all alone. If it hadn’t been for her father’s brother and his family, who happily accepted her as part of their own, she would have been left all on her own.
While she no longer remembers her parens and happily considers her cousin Jamie as her sister, Bea is well aware of what had happened. Her aunt and uncle, even after having had gone through the divorce themselves, always made sure that she knew who she was, that she was comfortable with it, and that she was happy.
Growing up, Bea always liked to stand out in the weirdest of ways. Always confident, she said what she thought or felt at the time, despite the consequences, and was simply too stubborn to back away. While it led to a lot of conflicts and odd situations, it never stopped her from doing it again and again. Be it thrill, excitement or pure curiousity, it felt like scratching an itch Bea never knew she really had.
While she knew she liked to be chaotic, that was just about it. Graduating high school, Bea was left with no idea what to do, so she did what she wanted. University and just about everything else was pushed to the side, and the girl picked odd jobs here and there, wanting to spend her time exploring the world rather than chaining herself down to a career path. In a way, it was all down to her parents never really getting a chance to do so themselves, but it wasn’t a topic the girl liked to bring up. Ever.
Freedom was the one thing she absolutely loved, but when Finn came into her life, her beliefs and plans fell apart. He was sweet, and kind, and gentle, and friendly, and somehow, he broke the walls Bea had built around herself. Around him, she was like a different person, becoming just as sweet, just as caring. She was happy, she was smiling more than she was willing to admit, and while she retained her old personality, everything was different. Finn was like that missing piece of the puzzle, something she was missing her whole life, and she genuinely believed he was The One.
What she didn’t believe in, however, was the fear when she found out that she was pregnant. It didn’t matter to her that they weren’t married- clearly, marriages never really worked out- but Bea was panicked. While she tried to hide it from Finn, never really understanding why she was so scared, it was a challenge. She wanted to be happy because she could see just how happy Finn was, but nothing was working. It felt almost as if she was detached from her own body, carrying a child that wasn’t hers, wasn’t anybody’s. Deep down, she knew that she feared her mother’s fate would be her fate, and that she would bring a child into the world without their mother.
But, when one night, Bea woke up in pain, she felt the kind of fear that she didn’t know she could ever feel. A quick journey to the emergency room was enough to confirm that she had suffered a miscarriage, completely out of the blue. It happened sometimes, doctors told her, but it didn’t stop her from shutting the world out. It was her fault. It had to be. She didn’t love the baby the way she was supposed to, she feared it more than anything, and it was all her fault.
Life at home, with Finn, after the miscarriage, just wasn’t the same. Beatriz found herself shutting everything out, including the man she loved, knowing that she hurt him more than anyone else. With what she’s done- with what she believed she’s done- Bea couldn’t imagine Finn loving her. The only way to cope with everything was to run, and, after a quick search, Bea found herself a job as a flight attendant.
First, the trips were local, and she was back home every other day, if no every single day. Then, as she got better, the trips got longer, taking her out of the home more and more frequently. Eventually, she was out and about more often than she was at home, and Bea knew she had to do something. She loved Finn more than anyone else in the world, but she was a coward. She was an awful person, she didn’t deserve him, and, after scribbling a quick note, she packed her stuff up and left.
Broken hearted, Bea built the walls around herself even furhter, not letting anyone or anything in. Instead, she travelled the world, exploring and trying to get her mind off the grim reality. It was so much easier this way, pretending that her life started and ended with each new trip, that she was a brand new person each time.
Never really having had gotten her now-ex, Bea attempted many relationships, failing each time. One of her more significant relationships was with Kara, a wonderful woman, yet, despite so much time spent together, she never really managed to form the bond she was craving. A yet another casualty in her long list of relationships, Bea left the woman, using the excuse of her frequent trips and inability to love. After all, it wasn’t entirely a lie that she was telling.
Bea continues on working as a flight attendant, having moved on from commercial flights to more private flights, figuring that she can meet more interesting and messed up people this way. And while the amount of trips she goes on has now reduced, she’s almost happy to be back in NYC for longer than a day or two.
