A Comfort Zone Outside of the Comfort Zone
Often times when a woman begins a new fitness journey there is a lot of fear involved - multifaceted fears in the form of âwhat ifs.â
What if itâs too hard? Â
What if Iâm bad at it? Â
What if I get bulky?
What if I look manly?
What if people judge me?
What if the guys in the weight area bother/harass/try to coach me?
What if the other women judge me?
What if I fail?
I was a dancer for all of my childhood and adolescence and was almost exclusively surrounded by women/girls throughout my entire dance career. I grew up with these girls - learning to point toes just so, jump so high, turn so gracefully - so you would think that it would be a comforting environment. In some ways it definitely was. And yet, there was still a lot of fear. Ballet is a very strict art by nature, very controlled and precise. Â To a young girl, it can make failure seem terrifying and inevitable. Then there were the body issues of girls going through puberty and through the hormonal minefield that is high school. Add a tight leotard and tights to the cattiness of young girls and suddenly your head is swimming with âwhat ifsâ (what if Iâm too fat/skinny/tall/short? What if I look stupid? What if they donât like me?)
Sadly, this cattiness doesn't stop with the end of adolescence. Â Women every day judge each other, often silently. Itâs something in our upbringing and society, maybe even our biology. Â We resent each other for what the other has and judge each other when we see something we perceive as negative about other people (Sheâs too fat/skinny/tall/short for that outfit, sheâs too promiscuous, sheâs a prude, sheâs too bulky...) and often times these judgments stem from a fear of something we may perceive in ourselves. Â Thus the cycle of fear continues. Â
When a woman decides to embark on a new fitness journey, these fears can discourage us. Â We start simple with the treadmill/elliptical; a space with boundaries that we have all to ourselves. Once we branch out there is this fear of the weight area of a gym. Too often women sequester themselves in the treadmill/elliptical area not because we donât want to lift weights, but because oftentimes the weight area is threatening. Â Itâs a majority male area where there tends to be a lot of male posturing going on (preening in mirrors, yelling unnecessarily during lifts, hanging out and brohammering while taking up space on a bench that someone else would LOVE to use, etc.). Â There are rarely more than one or two women in the weight area of a gym and it can feel like a female-unfriendly place. I realize that most of those dudes are also insecure and scared (hence the posturing), but for a woman, it can also mean harassment, embarrassment and mansplaining. Â So we avoid it.
I definitely avoided the weight area in my old gym for a LONG time. I slowly migrated to the ellipticals near the weight area as a first step to get myself comfortable even being in proximity to the weights and the brohammers. Finally I forced myself into the weight area, but I was like a deer crossing a road, constantly vigilant and constantly afraid and I definitely took any excuse I could find to skip the gym because of that fear of judgement.
When I began CrossFit going on 3.5 years ago, I was pretty certain that I was getting myself into another version of the situation described above. Â I was only willing to try it out because my husband was looking for a new fitness adventure that we could do together as a newly married couple. But within weeks of joining the regular classes, I found that I had actually embarked on the most fulfilling fitness experience of my life. It has done oh so much for me.
I know that not all CrossFit boxes (read: gyms) are created equal. CrossFit Defined, the box that I call home, is honestly the most encouraging, female friendly fitness atmosphere I've ever found. Women cheer for each other, challenge each other, call each other beast/meaty/big/strong as a compliment, and we miss each other when weâre not together. I've found so many women at our box that 4 years ago I would have written off as ânot my type of personâ for some stupid reason or another. Now, theyâre my friends. I care about them. I want to see them get better/stronger/faster. Â Their struggles, failures, successes and, yes, bulkiness are beautiful to me. Theyâre actually the reason I began this blog in the first place.
And for myself? This environment has allowed me learn what my body can do. My body has gotten bigger, but CrossFit has taught me that while having a non-traditional body can be hard (pants are the devil), itâs okay to be bulky. I have more confidence than I ever thought possible and it has helped me in every facet of my life (work, home, family, friends). Â I can actually say that I love myself. And my struggles, failures, successes and bulkiness are beautiful to me. Â
Yes, Iâm an evangelist of CrossFit. Yes, it can be very annoying. Yes, CrossFit isnât perfect, nor is it for everyone. But, when I go on and on and on about why I love it, it is because my specific experience with it has made me a stronger woman in body, mind and spirit. I honestly believe it has made me a better, kinder person. It has helped me be less judgmental of other women. It has made me proud of who I am. If you have the ovary stones to try it, I completely encourage you to because if you can find anything like the environment I've found, itâll be worth it. Â Itâll become your new comfort zone and youâll be so proud of yourself for trying it.
Image source: Rachel Gaddis
