Jumbled Mess Of Me @becauseofcrabrangoon - Tumblr Blog

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lighthouxe-deactivated20181201

@teens and kids that are being bullied for speaking out:

each one of you is my hero.

i see you. i hear you. i’m standing with you.

don’t be discouraged. don’t let them silence you.

buzzfeed

12 Adult Actors Who Played Teens Vs. What Teens Really Look Like

buzzfeed

Let this friggin’ cat in the friggin’ library already!!!

dovahfem

I just learned about the “Husband Stitch” a few days ago and i’m still fucking mortified. Women’s bodies do not exist for the pleasure of their boyfriends or husbands.

Doctors who perform this procedure without the consent of the pregnant person are evil misogynists, undeserving of the privilege of working with pregnant women and other people.

geekandmisandry

Oh my god, nooooo.

vaspider

If this is done incorrectly (and yes, I know someone this was done incorrectly to) it makes sex really uncomfortable, like realllly uncomfortable, and can require follow-up surgery to fix. The person I know who this was done to ended up with the, uh, outside getting the ‘husband stitch’ but the inside… not? So she ended up with a little ‘lip’ of tissue that would get seriously irritated during sex, and over a decade later had to have another doctor go back in and snip that ‘extra stitch’ open.

Yes, it was that bad.

jakeluppin

I would recommend reading this article and then reading Carmen Maria Machado’s The Husband Stich.

An excerpt from the above article:

I was first introduced to the husband stitch in 2014, when a friend in medical school told me about a birth her classmate observed. After the baby was delivered, the doctor said to the woman’s husband, “Don’t worry, I’ll sew her up nice and tight for you,” and the two men laughed while the woman lay between them, covered in her own and her baby’s blood and feces. The story terrified me, the laughter in particular, signaling some understanding of wrongdoing, some sheepishness in doing it anyway. The helplessness of the woman, her body being altered without her consent by two people she has to trust: her partner, her doctor.

So many people don’t even know what this is. The Wikipedia article on the husband stitch was published this month.

buzzfeed

UPS DOGS is quite possibly the best group on Facebook.

onlytwitterpics

damianimated

At Target this lady told her son he couldn’t have a Wonder Woman doll because “that’s for girls” and then bought her daughter the same one. It got me thinking about how often I see people bar young boys from appreciating girls/women as protagonists and heroes, and my own experience with it as a kid.

anti-capitalistlesbianwitch

It’s not just girls who benefit from having female protagonists and heroes to admire. How are boys or men supposed to appreciate women when they’re taught from a young age that liking or showing interest in them is wrong?

martxoa

Let Me Talk About Werewolves for a Second

Why is it that every werewolf book is this weird testosterone fueled alpha male/female romance thing?

Like guys. Werewolves are family groups. They are basically big ol’ dog families. Your werewolf family wouldn’t be made up of alpha males fighting each other for dominance and subjugating females.

If there was a werewolf in your neighborhood, they’d be that family of 10 kids always roughhousing outside and their house is the one all the neighborhood kids go to hang out at because Mr. Werewolf and Mrs. Werewolf are the Cool Parents that their kids find really embarrassing.

avatar-dacia

“Wait…Emily? Aren’t she and her whole family…you know?”

“Don’t believe everything you’ve heard; worst thing that’s ever happened over there is the twins teething on visitors’ shoes.”

prokopetz

Here’s the thing, though.

While the notion of the “alpha wolf” is indeed misguided, being based on observations of wolves in captivity, the dominance thing does happen. And it’s not just the adult males; adult females do it too - but it’s only a thing when wolves who aren’t related by blood end up sharing a habitat.

So consider: by some happenstance, two unrelated werewolf families end up living across the street from one another. Of course they’re not going to start brawling in the streets - they’re civilised people, after all - but that urge to show the other pack who’s boss comes out in other ways, resulting in the two clans getting, like, weirdly competitive about everything.

Imagine the Hallowe’en displays.

severalowls

Are you trying to tell me that the most hardcore ride-or-die PTA mothers are probably actually werewolves?

therobotmonster

“We’re settling this through the old ways, Helen.”

“Spiked silver chains on the night of the blood moon?”

“The spring bake sale, Helen. Turn it down a notch.”

“Fine. But when they taste my lemon squares you’re going to wish we’d gone with the silver chains, Jessi.”

Meanwhile, across the room.

“You know what I like doin’ Rob?”

“What’s that Bill?”

“Peeing out of doors.”

“Me too, Bill. But I thought you just married into the whole werewolf thing.”

“I’m just making conversation, Rob.”

cheeseanonioncrisps

I like it. The house inbetween their two houses is owned by a vampire family who deliberately fuel the fire because they like to watch the drama. (What? Just because you’re not allowed to kill werewolves anymore, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with them.)

“Oh, hi Helen. Putting up the Christmas decorations, I see?”

“Yep, this light show’ll make this our best Christmas display yet.”

“Oh great! You know the Johnsons have got lifesize singing reindeer as part of their display.”

Helen’s perfectly manicured nails grow another two centimetres. “Oh they have, have they? Oh is that the time! I’m sorry Lilith, I’ve just got to go and pick something up from the shops.” She returns three hours later with six reindeer and a giant inflatable Father Christmas. Lilith runs off to tell the neighbours.

trjoel

“Millennials are so entitled"

lucasnoahs

Actually, the ‘you’re welcome’/’no problem’ issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say you’re welcome, younger ppl tend to say no problem. This is because for older people the act of helping or assiating someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it’s saying ‘I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.’

‘No problem’, however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected, but also that it should be stressed that you’re need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).

Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is an expectation required of them.

humanityinahandbag

DAMN STRAIT.

daggers-drawn

Basic Millennial complaint: “I want shelter and economic security.” Some bitter old man: “WHAT THE FUCK? WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU DESERVE ANYTHING? THANK ME WHEN YOU BAG MY GROCERIES FOR ME, PEON.”

ghosttumbl

I’d never thought about it, but this is exactly why I say “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome”. Now can we get an analysis on why “I appreciate you” feels so much more uncomfortable in a customer service setting than “I appreciate [the service you just provided]”?

becauseofcrabrangoon

I have a friend who has been changing her language to reflect this and is saying "you're welcome" instead of "no problem". She's trying to make herself feel more valuable. I, meanwhile, have been working on not apologizing constantly... that's not going as well. 😂

localstarboy

blushbnnuy

Mom: let me see what you have!

Kid: A KNIFE!

Mom: NOOO!!!

earthnation

voice in the background: oh my god why does he have a kni-

shrineart

Rattles was on a call when I watched this and it took all I have to not bust out laughing jesus christ.

localstarboy

blushbnnuy

Mom: let me see what you have!

Kid: A KNIFE!

Mom: NOOO!!!

earthnation

voice in the background: oh my god why does he have a kni-

shrineart

Rattles was on a call when I watched this and it took all I have to not bust out laughing jesus christ.

chazkuangshi

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

ephemeral-lightning

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

chazkuangshi

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

gillgooelectrophoresis

come to hungary to experience the exact opposite of this, where i, the customer, pay my stuff with trembling hands and an elevated heartbeat every time, because I don’t know what kind of shit will the cashier scold me for this time. like, i cannot translate things exactly, but one time i bought a gyros like ‘I’d like a gyros’, and the dude, just like this lady, was like ‘please.’ note this isn’t an exact translation, a ‘please’ here would sound more like ‘pretty please’ would in english. it’s very weird for an adult to use this kind of language. i ignored it, but when i recieved it, and said “thank you” the guy corrected me again, murmuring the same phrase?? like, it’s very ridiculously old-fashioned formal language that only little kids use to talk to elder people. this guy my age expected me to talk to him like i talk to an elderly professor, when i already tend to use more formal language when greeting cashiers than they do when greeting me. the gyros wasn’t even good. another time a cashier lady didn’t even bother to look at me, she was just talking to the other cashier while opening her palm, waiting for the money. when she finally bothered to look into my direction and noticed that i’m not going to give any money into her hand because i’m holding a card, she started screaming at me for not warning her i’m paying by card (you don’t have to) and holding up the line. i got so scared i accidentally took the shopping basket with me because i literally ran out of the store, for which, i recieved more screaming :) i don’t really shop there again, unless i REALLY have to, but even the i check if it’s the same lady.

like… i read all these stories about how awful it is to be nice to shitty customers, but cashiers here look like they feel just as fucking awful while making me feel awful too what’s the point

chazkuangshi

Oh man i definitely hear you on the rude cashiers thing, they definitely exist over here too. I remember i used to go to a pizza place at the mall every morning and just get a drink, and at this place you fill your own cup and everything. And one day the manager finishes cashing me out and walks away saying “This ain’t a drink bar, honey.” I never went back.