Karter Bradley Zaagman @becomingkarter - Tumblr Blog

I miss you so much it hurts

I love you

I had every reason to let go of life. Then you came along and showed me that someone was capable of loving me. So I held on a little longer to see and feel what it was like. I never thought I would be so happy in my life either. I thought I would be haunted by my past constantly as it tore me apart from grasping onto what future was left. I was slowly deteriorating into the depths of loneliness but you saved me and spared me that one chance to experience something I could never ask for. No matter how genuine I laugh, or how loud I cry out to you and say your name in gratitude, you wouldn’t be able to hear me and what I feel for you - to you, it may seem like mere words via a lit screen. The sadness begins to settle in over me again but when the pain strikes I am numb, with love pumping ceaselessly through my veins because I knew that you had stayed long enough to care. You were so sweet to remind me that you loved me ever since the day we began to be comfortable in uttering those three words. The gratitude I feel consolidates itself - because of you. And it hurts, not just knowing that people disappear in life but that I have to learn to let you go. You, stranger, have taught me both what it feels to have love and its detriment.

And in a world strayed by ghosts of the past that haunt me, I heard your calling but love was beyond your lesson - the message from you was to stay strong, with or without anyone and for that I simply could not forget you.

Friday 8th June, 8:27 a.m., Dear M..