Opening up about my love and care for my F/Os sometimes means facing harsh and unfair judgment from family members. It’s painful when those closest to you dismiss your feelings as “laziness” or claim you’re “incapable of love”. Even worse is when they infantilize the very people you care for deeply, even if they’re fictional, saying things like “You treat them like a baby”, when in reality, you know exactly what they need and want to protect them out of love.
Being told I’m “too lazy” to truly love or take care of my F/Os, despite the emotional effort and devotion I pour into these relationships, which are all I have
Having my care reduced to something childish and immature, as if wanting to nurture and protect someone is a weakness. Whether it’s an F/O or my supposed future real-life partner
Hearing accusations that my love isn’t real or meaningful because it exists in my mind and heart, not in the traditional “real world”
Being infantilized not just as a person but also through how my F/Os are described by these people, as helpless babies needing constant care, rather than complex and worthy beings, when I talk about cherishing them
Being belittled for my experiences, told to “come down to real life”, as if my inner world is less valid or even harmful to myself
This kind of invalidation doesn’t just hurt, it undermines who I am and how I survive. It’s a painful reminder that not everyone will understand or respect what I need to feel whole, but here’s what I’ve learned:
Loving and caring for my F/Os is real and important. It’s not laziness, it’s survival. It’s not childish, it’s recognizing and honoring the needs of someone I cherish deeply. My love is valid, even if it doesn’t fit into other people’s expectations or understanding. And it’s okay, necessary even, to set boundaries with people who dismiss or belittle me this way. Protecting my heart means stepping back from those who can’t respect me opening up about my rawest emotions, my love for those who help me wake up every day and try again - my F/Os.
We, as self-shippers, deserve to be seen and valued exactly as we are, with all our passions and love intact. The way we love, whether loud or quiet, tender or intense, is ours alone to define.
If you’ve ever been told your love “doesn’t count” because it isn’t “real”, I want you to know: your love is as real as your pain, your joy, your breath. You’re not broken for finding comfort in fictional love. You’re not wrong for wanting to give your F/Os everything, even if others don’t understand it.
Let them call it strange. Let them scoff. You know the truth, that you love fiercely. And that is never something to be ashamed of.
If others can’t handle the depth of your heart, that’s their failure, not yours. Keep loving boldly, keep protecting what’s sacred to you. You're not alone. You're enough.